I was in a very similar situation. Married w two young kids, living in southern CA. Our preference was to stay in SoCal, but we were open to moving. I had a 3.5 GPA, 34Q MCAT. I applied to all the CA schools as well as 20-some OOS schools. My wife and I chose the OOS schools together based solely on geography. I was rejected pre-interview at every CA school except UCI, where I was eventually waitlisted after an interview. I was (thankfully!) accepted at 7 of the OOS schools, including a couple top ten schools and ivies. The application process (especially in CA) is extremely arbitrary. You just have no idea where your application will get traction.
If you can, ask your wife to read a few of these threads to better understand the application process. And then if she is on board, apply to all the CA schools (and maybe Western as well if you are open to DO) as well as whatever OOS schools you are both *somewhat* open to the idea of moving to. My guess is once you guys start looking at a map together you might open up to broadening out your school search just a bit. At least check out U of A (Tucson AND Phoenix) which now accept OOS applicants and is closer than NorCal.
You and your wife have both put a lot of work into this and have a lot at stake. You do not want to get stuck with 0 acceptances. And you can always say "no" if you get in somewhere and decide that you just can't make it work. It's always better to at least have options. Good luck and feel free to PM me if you (or your wife) have more questions!