Single women over 30: possibly forfeiting Motherhood for Med School?

[Depakote]

We seem to have deviated quite a bit from the OP's original question, and the discussion is getting a bit heated. Can we try to keep our responses a bit more civil and try to address the OP's concern:

As I read the latest MD vs. PA thread, I realized the real reason I cannot make up my mind between the two is that deep down, I'm worried that by choosing the MD route, I'll be making my chances of having a family that much more unlikely. Perhaps I'm being a bit of an alarmist but at my age, you have to wonder about this kind of thing.

I will be 33 when I enroll in med school in the fall and about 41 when I'm done with it all. As you know, fertility starts really dropping at 35 and takes a real nose dive after 40. I wonder if I would have the time during medical school to actually meet someone, date, get married, and start a family. I mean, how easy is it to actually date when you're busy 80 hours a week? I already see my dates' eyes glaze over when I mention I want to go to med school. It's actually quite interesting to watch them - first they take a big breath, and then the eye glaze. oh well. I imagine that women don't react that way when the guys they are dating say they want to go to med school. Just my guess, of course.

Many women with kids have answered questions about having kids while in med school. Usually, however, those are women who are married already or who already have children. But what about those of us who are older, in our 30's, who don't have a spouse or children?

Do any of you women in your 30's wonder have any thoughts on this?

Thanks.

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[Winter Lily]

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[Winter Lily]

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[Revilla]

So I'm ignorant becuase I actually did research on the topic? I suggest you look up the definition of the term.

Re-read my long post. She claimed that my point of view was invalid because my life was not directly impacted by adoption. However, I pointed out that she had no basis for that claim. Moreover, that her statements revealed used terms that reveal that her life hasn't been directly touched by adoption, and that using the standard she wanted to hold me to, her opinion should be invalid for the same reason. I also pointed out that her arguments about rape revealed an abysmal knowledge of research on the rape generally, and specifically its relationship to adoption. (However, I didn't come out and explicitly call Revilla a ignorant or a hypocrite until she called me those names. I simply give what I get.)

Excuse me, but I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't lie about me. I never called you any names.

Re-read the thread. I'm not the one who started calling people names -- Rev did. I just give what I get. But even then, my opinion is still well-researched and grounded in reality.

Once again, quit lying. We went down this line of confrontational posts thanks to you.

 

[Excelsius]

1) I really am attacking you (true, in the sense that I am attacking your ideas)
2) You really are defenseless (possibly true, we'll see what you come up with)
3) Both of the above.

I'm inclined to go for #3. My apologies for overshooting my number of chances.


Sorry, I'm not sure what you're asking here. (I'm assuming you're talking to me still!) Are you asking about the possibility of differentiating enantiomers by melting point? No, they would have the same MP.

...

Nope, that's not why. Actually the answer is pretty simple: I seemed defenseless because I did not want to really argue about any of these issues and just chose to mainly neutralize. I was successful. That's actually good for me since sometimes I can come out pretty strongly in an argument and people feel threatened or think that I am being a mean ass (which can be true at times). There is really nothing inherently polar or overly important about this topic since almost everything said in this thread is common knowledge. No reason to really argue the minutiae and then promulgate infinitesimal differences. Now if we were shooting for AOA...

Now why would I ask you about a melting point? Alright, I'll just send you what I meant.

 

[Random Anesthesiologist]

OP, I think every situation is different. Your chances of motherhood are not written off by your entry in to medical study. It won't be as easy as being a receptionist with a 9-5 job, but there are more than just anecdotal stories out there of women who do it.

Visit www.mommd.com for better support and for stories from hundreds of med students and docs who've done it.

 

[Deepa100]

mommd is full of women who complain about the stress it causes them.

OP, I think every situation is different. Your chances of motherhood are not written off by your entry in to medical study. It won't be as easy as being a receptionist with a 9-5 job, but there are more than just anecdotal stories out there of women who do it.

Visit www.mommd.com for better support and for stories from hundreds of med students and docs who've done it.

 

[NTF]

I know I'm being a tool for reviving this thread, but man oh man was it entertaining to read.

Here's how I summarize:

1)boy or girl, you don't need to give up family for a medical career
2)There will be tension between the two
3)We should all hope that we have supportive partners and family whether we're making babies or not
4)Everyone makes PERSONAL choices about these things. What works for one may not work for the other.
5)I love lively sharp debate. Man, it makes me miss NYC.
6)A lot of you guys are way smarter and way more well read than I.
7)I will never be intellectual enough to use words like eschatology. (Reminds me of a philosophy class, when I would cringe every time someone would use the word "telos" instead of goal, end, or purpose. My eyes would glaze over everytime someone would start a sentence, "Speaking teleologically..."
8)Philistine = me
9)Chillax -----> Good advice for all of us

 

[BennieBlanco]

I know I'm being a tool for reviving this thread, but man oh man was it entertaining to read.

Here's how I summarize:

1)boy or girl, you don't need to give up family for a medical career
2)There will be tension between the two
3)We should all hope that we have supportive partners and family whether we're making babies or not
4)Everyone makes PERSONAL choices about these things. What works for one may not work for the other.
5)I love lively sharp debate. Man, it makes me miss NYC.
6)A lot of you guys are way smarter and way more well read than I.
7)I will never be intellectual enough to use words like eschatology. (Reminds me of a philosophy class, when I would cringe every time someone would use the word "telos" instead of goal, end, or purpose. My eyes would glaze over everytime someone would start a sentence, "Speaking teleologically..."
8)Philistine = me
9)Chillax -----> Good advice for all of us

Thanks for summarizing it. Phew. I too have a simple mind. Goal sounds 1 million times better than "telos".

 

[SportsJunkie25]

As I read the latest MD vs. PA thread, I realized the real reason I cannot make up my mind between the two is that deep down, I'm worried that by choosing the MD route, I'll be making my chances of having a family that much more unlikely. Perhaps I'm being a bit of an alarmist but at my age, you have to wonder about this kind of thing.

I will be 33 when I enroll in med school in the fall and about 41 when I'm done with it all. As you know, fertility starts really dropping at 35 and takes a real nose dive after 40. I wonder if I would have the time during medical school to actually meet someone, date, get married, and start a family. I mean, how easy is it to actually date when you're busy 80 hours a week? I already see my dates' eyes glaze over when I mention I want to go to med school. It's actually quite interesting to watch them - first they take a big breath, and then the eye glaze. oh well. I imagine that women don't react that way when the guys they are dating say they want to go to med school. Just my guess, of course.

Many women with kids have answered questions about having kids while in med school. Usually, however, those are women who are married already or who already have children. But what about those of us who are older, in our 30's, who don't have a spouse or children?

Do any of you women in your 30's wonder have any thoughts on this?

I say go for what you want! Don't base your dreams and ambitions on something that may never happen. If you want to be a physician, go for it! Who's to say you'll meet that special someone and make a family? Go for what you can control and if you meet someone in the mean time, cool...but if you don't, you don't. It won't be the end of the world. You can still have an excellent life if you're not married with kids. A lot of people do...

Best wishes!

 

[Auriga]

I'll throw my cents into the hat on this heated thread...
I'll be 30 WHEN (not if ) I start Med School in 2010. That's 37 when I'm done with residency - earliest.
Adoption is my husband's and my choice - after I establish my life as a physician somewhere stable. He is 100% with me on this.
My child doesn't have to look like me; I'm fine with not procreating myself. There are so many children that have no parents, I don't have to create another human being to bring into this world. What you leave the child with is how well you've raised them much more than the genetic structure you do or don't give them, anyways. And I know for myself I really couldn't properly raise a child in addition to maintaining a healthy relationship with my husband and excelling in med school / residency at the same time.
This isn't everyone's primary choice, I realize, but for me, it's an ideal I believe strongly in - and one I'm happy that I can live out.

 

[mzblue]

deleted.

 

[mzblue]

Some, not all are stressed.
Have you read texasrose's blog on mommd? I've been reading her blog since she started and she's now a resident. It's not all about the stress. She's a lot older than i'll be when i start med school and she really gave me encouragement that i could have a family. She has 3 kids, two of whom are twins. Her blog's great. If you have time, read through it. I don't read daily these days but i usually catch up during the nights i work when i'm not busy. She's really a true inspiration.
She was actually 34 when she started med school. She stopped the old blog when she graduated med school and now has a residency blog.
heres her residency blog. i was going to pot the link for her med school blog but the link for that is on the first page of this blog.
http://www.mommd.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=22;t=000128

mommd is full of women who complain about the stress it causes them.

 

[CogitoA1]

Again, you are holding me to an unreasonable standard of evidence while providing none of your own. Short of someone conducting a study specifically asking women now and in previous eras whether they view romantic love as important/necessary/nice to have but not necessary/not very important/irrelevant in an "ideal" marriage, our only choice is to use a proxy endpoint of some type to infer their views. Concerning the stats quoted, I am indeed using the number of women who get/stay married and have children as my proxy for the number who would like to get married and/or have children. No doubt you are correct that there are some who don't marry who would have liked to marry. But conversely, there will also be some who do marry when they would rather not have.

Well, but we DO have evidence showing what people viewed as desireable or ideal, based on the writings of philosophers, fiction-writers, and so forth, from various cultures and historical periods. And looking at that evidence, it seems to me that romantic love is simply a human form of attachment, common to all places and all cultures, and that, given the nature of this attachment, we would prefer--holding all else equal--that we have this attachment with our marital mate.

I also think this thesis fits best with background knowledge concerning the evolutionary origins of human beings, and with the demonstrated universality of human emotions and meanings.

So, I think the burden of proof is really on the person attempting to show otherwise. It's a heavy burden, I admit. The best route might be simply to agree with Excelsius and myself.

I would make the same argument in favor of using women's reports of their willingness to marry without the requirement of romantic love in the study I quoted. I would further argue that the study *does* support my assertion that cultural views on romantic love indeed change over time. Never mind that in the past, people married younger and didn't know one another well; if they were in arranged marriages, they might well not have known each other *at all* before their wedding day. As you've pointed out, they could still have wished they could marry someone they loved, although it's hard to have these wishes if the concept of romantic love doesn't really exist in your society period.

The thought has occurred to me that we may not mean the same thing by "romantic love." This guy, who appears to be some kind of lecturer at UMN, is getting at the definition I'm arguing for (second part on definition, and my apologies in advance for the shameless plugs for his book in various parts of his essay.)

That guy has a 26-part definition of romantic love, and given the samples he provided, I strongly disagree with his conception. How about we use the dictionary?

You keep going back to this point of what is desired by women regarding romantic love and marriage. But I don't think that you, Cogito, have any way to know what women desire from marriage beyond possibly extrapolating from your own feelings about love and marriage (or those reported by your acquaintances). In other words, do you have a proxy that you think gets at what women desire better than the ones I have proposed? And (assuming you're a guy), if you do really know what women desire, you're way ahead of 99.9999999999% of your compatriots.

Women are human beings; I am a human being; therefore I can understand women. They're not very complicated, all in all. That's why my compatriots don't require endless articles in glossy magazines purporting to reveal secrets as to "what he really wants," nor do we need to devote long hours over brunch dissecting what a given word or behavior may or may not mean. I'm not quite sure why... I'm tempted to say something about understanding the proper value of parsimony in an explanation, but that might be perceived as sexist.

(yes, people, tongue in cheek; relax)

 

[Random Anesthesiologist]

mommd is full of women who complain about the stress it causes them.

So, what, you read the first topic and quit, huh?

Ladies, it comes down to this in your 30's:

If you don't want kids, don't have them.

If you want kids, but are single, you still have many options! You can let life take its course the traditional way or you can go to a sperm bank when you decide you're ready. Or, you can ultimately opt out of having kids in the end.

Medicine is a hard career for families, that's understood. Follow Tim Gunn's advice and "make it work!".

 

[QofQuimica]

Well, but we DO have evidence showing what people viewed as desireable or ideal, based on the writings of philosophers, fiction-writers, and so forth, from various cultures and historical periods. And looking at that evidence, it seems to me that romantic love is simply a human form of attachment, common to all places and all cultures, and that, given the nature of this attachment, we would prefer--holding all else equal--that we have this attachment with our marital mate.

You also have others who have written that what makes a marriage desirable are things like money, power, or sex/physical attractiveness. Or some combination thereof. These are certainly things that are still highly desired and ideal (at least to some) in our society.

I also think this thesis fits best with background knowledge concerning the evolutionary origins of human beings, and with the demonstrated universality of human emotions and meanings.

I don't agree that the meaning of marriage (or the emotions attached to it) are universal at all.

So, I think the burden of proof is really on the person attempting to show otherwise. It's a heavy burden, I admit.

It's an impossible burden, as would be any attempt to "prove" that your beliefs about human cultural views are wrong. This is the beauty of beliefs; you can simply continue to disagree with anything I say because you happen to believe something else.

The best route might be simply to agree with Excelsius and myself.

I could say the same to you.

That guy has a 26-part definition of romantic love, and given the samples he provided, I strongly disagree with his conception. How about we use the dictionary?

If you have a definition you prefer, feel free to provide it. Otherwise, you can't really complain about mine.

Women are human beings; I am a human being; therefore I can understand women. They're not very complicated, all in all. That's why my compatriots don't require endless articles in glossy magazines purporting to reveal secrets as to "what he really wants," nor do we need to devote long hours over brunch dissecting what a given word or behavior may or may not mean. I'm not quite sure why... I'm tempted to say something about understanding the proper value of parsimony in an explanation, but that might be perceived as sexist.

(yes, people, tongue in cheek; relax)

And, on that note, I'm done with this thread. Thanks for an entertaining discussion.

 

[Deepa100]

Reality check here- she has a husband who makes a lot of money. She said it herself. While her life is inspirational, I am sure the money factor helped. Anyhow, each has to find her own answers...

Some, not all are stressed.
Have you read texasrose's blog on mommd? I've been reading her blog since she started and she's now a resident. It's not all about the stress. She's a lot older than i'll be when i start med school and she really gave me encouragement that i could have a family. She has 3 kids, two of whom are twins. Her blog's great. If you have time, read through it. I don't read daily these days but i usually catch up during the nights i work when i'm not busy. She's really a true inspiration.
She was actually 34 when she started med school. She stopped the old blog when she graduated med school and now has a residency blog.
heres her residency blog. i was going to pot the link for her med school blog but the link for that is on the first page of this blog.
http://www.mommd.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=22;t=000128

 

[engrphd2md]

I'm 30 will be 33 by the time I start med school and yes the thought of kids and family has crossed my mind. Med school or not you are still going to have the same issue of meeting the right person. If you feel that your passion is medicine then why not go for it and be happy doing that and the rest will just fall in place when you least expect. Life is full of surprises and you never know what the future holds, things don't always turn out the way you hope or expect but all you can do is make the best of what life deals you and the only thing you can control is the present. There are lots of women out there who are juggling the family life and work and many professionals who are having children later in life. So it is not impossible to meet someone and have kids a little later than the norm. However, I don't see having children as a requirement to having a fulfilled life. So, I say go for what you are passionate about and enjoy every moment of the journey.....the rest will just work itself out

 

[blkprl]

all of life involves choices. There is a finite number of hours in a day or week, and despite what drmidlife implied, *no one* can have it all. Those of you who have taken physics should not be given pause by the concept that if you put more time and energy into one thing, other things will necessarily receive less of your time and energy. The good news though is that you *will* have enough time during med school to do whatever is most important to you. Extra time is easier to come by at some points in med school than others, but you can and will always make time for whatever you value most. Ok, so if you really want to be married with a child, maybe you will not graduate medical school being inducted into aoa with a 250+ step 1. But maybe that doesn't matter to you, in the same way that having a family doesn't matter to some other people who devote more of their time and energy to excelling in medical school or other extracurricular pursuits. What it all comes down to is that you will spend a total of four years in medical school. How you make best use of that time is in large part up to you.

very well said!!!

 

[Starfishy]

I think the most important thing to ask yourself is: what do YOU really want to do with your life? Does being a doctor seem like the coolest, most interesting thing you could possibly do, even though you know that it will require a lot of hard work and sacrifice? If the answer is yes, then go to med school, be the best doctor and person you possibly can, and the rest should take care of itself. If not, you need to keep searching until you find a path that will truly make you happy.

AWESOME post!

I was bio/pre-med for two years in undergrad. And one day after shadowing physicians and seeing what it really took to be one, I changed my major. Why? Because I was 22 years old and I wanted to get married and have babies. I came to the conclusion that medicine wouldn't let me do that. I remember sitting in a friend's car one night crying over the fear that if I went to medical school I would never be able to have a family. So, I changed my major to English and I planned to attend graduate school and be an English professor. I figured that would be more family friendly.

Well, guess what?! I'm 28, about to be 29 in 2 months and I'm NOT married, NOT in a relationship and NO children. I feel like an idiot for putting my dream on hold, for something that did not happen. I'm going to give medicine a shot again. Do I want a husband and kids? Yes. But, I'm no longer going to put my dreams on hold for them. The funny thing is that I have this feeling in my gut, that when I start the med school process, Mr. Right will come along. That's how my life works. LOL!

Hopefully, I'll be 31 when I start medical school.

Good luck to you OP!

 

[BennieBlanco]

I would like to share my romantic philosophy:

[YOUTUBE]w2cFEHM9yMw[/YOUTUBE]

Man love woman.

Man marry woman.

Man have baby with woman.

Man and woman die.

 

[MexicanDr]

Marriage is a scary proposition for a dude.

This thread makes it scarier.

 

[sumstorm]

No, I don't think that human beings created new emotions. I am saying that the driving reasons for why human beings get *married* has changed over time, and only recently has it been mainly for the purpose of romantic love. In other words, human beings have created new cultural mores over time, and romantic love being essential in marriage is one of them. The change didn't happen all that long ago. See for example, this paper, which describes a study where the authors found that women in the 1960s were more willing to get married for reasons other than romantic love compared to women in the 1980s. That's an attitudinal change in *one generation*.

If marriage was all about love, there never would have been laws anywhere banning marriages across socioeconomic classes, racial classes, or genders.

Since there are still laws in many states (though often ignored, they are still on the books) between races and genders, then obviously marriage isn't just about love.

Marriage involves a lot of complicating details legally, culturally, and socially. Coming from a matriarchial and matrilineal society with groups living arrangments, just the system of marriage in America means it isn't all about love; it involves religion and legal issues. To think that those issues haven't been around in all cultures and all societies to some extent is an interesting way to rewrite history.

Either way, to the OP...I am thirty and starting vet school. I have 4 years here, then a 1 year internship and a 3 year residency. And here is the fun news...I will never make nearly as much money to support a family as a human doctor will, but the costs of my education and the pays in residency aren't any better. I do have a husband. I never really wanted kids until I met this man. There is also an age difference (he is older) that also weighs into our decisions. We have not taken children off the table of considerations, but we are getting more information before we try (sperm counts, learning to track fertility, etc.) We do see adoption as an option (we have fostered previously.)

My advice, make the decision when you get to it. Don't jump the gun....either way, you will be older....and you will be busy, and you will be balancing a life with work. For me, anything I spend a third of my day or more doing is my LIFE, not just my CAREER. I don't work to support my life; I work as an expression of part of who I am. Here is a statistic that always shocks me...the average american watches 4.5 hours of television a day (Nielson). It is all about choices; I grew up with 2 working parents who were also involved in their community (fire fighter and cultural preservationist.) They easily put in 60 hours a week, and still gave me a wonderful childhood, even without money (neither is a HS graduate, and both worked multiple positions to cover the bills.) The biggest difference for us? I honestly believe it involved decisions to not have TV, to do things as a family, to see that exhaustion from a job meant doing something fun rather than vegging out.

If you want both, you can have both...but it will take work and balance, and potential sacrifices (or maybe they aren't really sacrifices, just choices for different opportunities.)

Good luck.

 

[QofQuimica]

If marriage was all about love, there never would have been laws anywhere banning marriages across socioeconomic classes, racial classes, or genders.

Since there are still laws in many states (though often ignored, they are still on the books) between races and genders, then obviously marriage isn't just about love.

Marriage involves a lot of complicating details legally, culturally, and socially. Coming from a matriarchial and matrilineal society with groups living arrangments, just the system of marriage in America means it isn't all about love; it involves religion and legal issues. To think that those issues haven't been around in all cultures and all societies to some extent is an interesting way to rewrite history.

I don't know why you specifically quoted me, because you seem to be making the same point I was trying to make.

 

[LawNonTrad]

If there's one thing I can take away from this thread, is it this?

While some men might not be too keen on the idea of a woman attending medical school in her 30s, the fact that I as a male would be attending medical school in my late 20s and early 30s is attractive to women. I suppose that I could date younger women as well.

 

[Danae00]

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[riverjib]

As I read the latest MD vs. PA thread, I realized the real reason I cannot make up my mind between the two is that deep down, I'm worried that by choosing the MD route, I'll be making my chances of having a family that much more unlikely. Perhaps I'm being a bit of an alarmist but at my age, you have to wonder about this kind of thing.

I will be 33 when I enroll in med school in the fall and about 41 when I'm done with it all. As you know, fertility starts really dropping at 35 and takes a real nose dive after 40. I wonder if I would have the time during medical school to actually meet someone, date, get married, and start a family. I mean, how easy is it to actually date when you're busy 80 hours a week? I already see my dates' eyes glaze over when I mention I want to go to med school. It's actually quite interesting to watch them - first they take a big breath, and then the eye glaze. oh well. I imagine that women don't react that way when the guys they are dating say they want to go to med school. Just my guess, of course.

Many women with kids have answered questions about having kids while in med school. Usually, however, those are women who are married already or who already have children. But what about those of us who are older, in our 30's, who don't have a spouse or children?

Do any of you women in your 30's wonder have any thoughts on this?

I loved that you asked this. This is my primary concern, and I asked this twice: on the "Old Pre Med" Board, where they told me to go the PA route, and on the "Mom MD" board, where offended mom MDs and DOs told me I was stuck in the 50's. Where's the balance?

So I'm sticking with what I've seen: that my friends who have managed to strike the balance are not cardiothoracic surgeons (though MAJOR kudos to moms who are!!) and are not part-time pediatricians (great field as well!!). At the risk of offending anyone, I'm only going on what I've seen...that those who hope to specialize should focus on some sort of middle ground. Anesthesiology or emergency medicine seem to fit me, personally.

I'm engaged now and I plan to have kids during residency. I'm realistic about the fact that I shouldn't plan to sleep much before I'm 50, but it's worth it to have it all, so to speak.

 

[faith2]

I never wanted kids, but when I found out i was pregnant I was confused. I spent 2-3 months in denial. The point is now it is two years later and I am happy I got it over with because I do not know if it would have happened later. I know women who say their biological clack is ticking, and they want children, but due to their love for their career can not have children now. I do not think we as woman have to choose career over motherhood or motherhood over career. It is difficult, but we can do both. I am starting to consider having another one while in residency, and hopefully I will have a better support system. I am hoping to have a job that I love, and go home to my most precious possession....my children

I loved that you asked this. This is my primary concern, and I asked this twice: on the "Old Pre Med" Board, where they told me to go the PA route, and on the "Mom MD" board, where offended mom MDs and DOs told me I was stuck in the 50's. Where's the balance?

So I'm sticking with what I've seen: that my friends who have managed to strike the balance are not cardiothoracic surgeons (though MAJOR kudos to moms who are!!) and are not part-time pediatricians (great field as well!!). At the risk of offending anyone, I'm only going on what I've seen...that those who hope to specialize should focus on some sort of middle ground. Anesthesiology or emergency medicine seem to fit me, personally.

I'm engaged now and I plan to have kids during residency. I'm realistic about the fact that I shouldn't plan to sleep much before I'm 50, but it's worth it to have it all, so to speak.

 

[sapama]

Wow, this thread has been all over the place. As for deciding on family or career no one can tell you what to do because everyone handles things differently.

I have been personally torn on this issue, after a great deal of soul searching I have come to a decision that will work for ME. I'm 25 now, 27 when I (hopefully) start med school. Biologically speaking I do not want to have children in my 30's or later, my husband and I do not want children right now, if ever.

I know that I would be a really great mom or a really great doctor, many can be both, I know myself well enough that I could NOT. Would I love to be pregnant and experience all of motherhood? Of course, but I also know that I have crappy genetics to pass on and have other things that I could do that would be a greater benefit to a community. I am the type of person that can only spread my loyalties so far before I feel like I'm letting things go. I know that I would feel as though I was not giving myself fully to one or the other. Shoot, I feel guilty just when I don't spend enough time with my hubby. That's just me, many people can manage marriage, recreation, career, education, and children beautifully. Right now our plan is to have a career and life and adopt later when/if we are emotionally and financially ready.

So, none of this really answers your original question. You need to think about how you handle relationships and other responsibilities. Do you feel like you can handle it all or do you need to narrow your focus? But remember that you can't plan your life around others (spouse and children) who may never show up. Make yourself happy first, dedicate your life to it without looking back, and the rest will fall into place.

Best of luck!

 

[murfettie]

children at egotistic attention suckers. you could never give them enough attention.
you just need to give them, hm.. enough attention
you won't be able to super mom,
cake 2 batches of cookies, be on call, drive kiddies to school, round, work, help kiddies with home work, bath kiddie, teach kiddie playing piano..
hmm.. no...
also, i don't think that special someone is, THE special someone, there has got to be like 10,000 special someone in this world for you out of 6 billion people, so all you need is one to start a family with, so... it's really not that hard.
hey, if you have kids during med school you can get WIC benefits too!