So apparently only younger girls like dating med students

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rpost3

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I'm almost 29 & taking the MCAT this summer. This girl is 31. We've seen each other on and off since December, but she said she won't let herself get into a serious relationship w/ me b/c she wants to be married w/ kids w/in a couple years, and a med student can't give her that. Its kind of a moot point, b/c she just moved 300 mi away and she pretty much hates me now anyway (are there genes for hypocritical and irrational somewhere on that 2nd X chromosome, ladies?), but I was just wondering if anyone had a similar experience. I assume this happens much more to older med students, b/c the younger girls I've dated seemed to be all about dating a med student.
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rpost3 said:
I'm almost 29 & taking the MCAT this summer. This girl is 31. We've seen each other on and off since December, but she said she won't let herself get into a serious relationship w/ me b/c she wants to be married w/ kids w/in a couple years, and a med student can't give her that. Its kind of a moot point, b/c she just moved 300 mi away and she pretty much hates me now anyway (are there genes for hypocritical and irrational somewhere on that 2nd X chromosome, ladies?), but I was just wondering if anyone had a similar experience. I assume this happens much more to older med students, b/c the younger girls I've dated seemed to be all about dating a med student.
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I think that as you get older you become more aware of what is important to you. An older woman is probably more well-informed of the risks of dating a med student than a younger one.
 
When you finish med school and residency you probably won't even look at girls older the 28 anyway.
 
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rpost3 said:
I'm almost 29 & taking the MCAT this summer. This girl is 31. We've seen each other on and off since December, but she said she won't let herself get into a serious relationship w/ me b/c she wants to be married w/ kids w/in a couple years, and a med student can't give her that.
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FWIW, my now ex-boyfriend just broke up with me last weekend for reasons relating to this. There were other factors at play as well, but the bottom line was the he was on a time table... and I didn't fit it. So it's not just women who think like this. :(

rpost3 said:
Its kind of a moot point, b/c she just moved 300 mi away and she pretty much hates me now anyway (are there genes for hypocritical and irrational somewhere on that 2nd X chromosome, ladies?)
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Men are capable of this, too, my friend. Best to just assume that the dating career of a med student can sometimes be a lonely one. From what I hear, though, we'll be considered catches once school is over. ;)
 
Fermata said:
I think that as you get older you become more aware of what is important to you. An older woman is probably more well-informed of the risks of dating a med student than a younger one.
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True and often many younger girls think "oh he's going to be a doctor and will support me" whereas older girls probably are people with their own clearly defined career goals. At least that has held true many times here where I live.
 
Long Dong said:
When you finish med school and residency you probably won't even look at girls older the 28 anyway.
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:laugh: :laugh:

yeah guys like girls to be younger so they can bear kids and what not.

A lot of girls who are 29-30+ have been there and dont that. They probably had one or more bad relationship experiences and see their biological clocks ticking so they want someone who'll give them that family life they crave because they are no longer in their late teens and early 20s

Or they are career girls themselves and a lot of times guys don't like girls who are working long hours or who are working reasonable hours but are highly educated. They want girls who they can kinda control and who will stay at home with the kids. I know of an optometrist who is very beautiful. However the guy who was interested in her (a neurosurgeon) kept telling her to quit her job. A lot of other potential guys are the same way. The same happened to a dentist I know. Meanwhile the girls that were willing to settle for 4 year degrees only and get regular jobs like teaching or working with business degrees making less money then the guys were getting married a lot quicker.
 
medhawk1 said:
I don't know if I necessarily agree with some of the posts above, I think the traditional gender roles and expectations in marriage are changing, I am sure plenty of people have anecdotal stories that say otherwise, but check out this insightful article.

The Romantic Life of Brainiacs

or if the above link doesn't work:

http://www.boston.com/news/globe/ma.../18/the_romantic_life_of_brainiacs/?page=full
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Guess it depends on where you are from. The cases I pointed to above were not of American folks so much as Indian folks. Again, people from different cultures have different beliefs so I guess it depends on where you are from to a certain degree.
 
rpost3 said:
I'm almost 29 & taking the MCAT this summer. This girl is 31. We've seen each other on and off since December, but she said she won't let herself get into a serious relationship w/ me b/c she wants to be married w/ kids w/in a couple years, and a med student can't give her that. Its kind of a moot point, b/c she just moved 300 mi away and she pretty much hates me now anyway (are there genes for hypocritical and irrational somewhere on that 2nd X chromosome, ladies?), but I was just wondering if anyone had a similar experience. I assume this happens much more to older med students, b/c the younger girls I've dated seemed to be all about dating a med student.
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I wouldn't read too much into one data point. While I haven't had the issue you have (I've been married 17 years -- and I'm just now starting med school), I have had a few things beaten into me. First, I wouldn't try to logically overanalyze what the opposite sex likes or doesn't like. You might meet someone who is more settled or doesn't even want children (one of a million possibilities). Hang in there. Dating is very much about finding the right person. I honestly don't know what I was thinking when I was dating before I met my wife. Second, keep your standards high and don't let a bad experience bother you too much. It's better to find out these things on the front end of a relationship. She may have been doing you a favor by not getting involved in a relationship that she was not interested in. I also wouldn't get all obsessive about age (within reason); it's one of many factors.
 
fatdoctor said:
I think this is going to become the trend for women as well since recent findings indicate that as men become older they have an increased risk of having autistic kids.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5768623

"So what if he's 21, I'm just thinking of what is best for my children..." ;)

:banana:
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Well, if you do a quick google search, you will find several studies this past year positing different genetic and mutational links to autism, so I wouldn't necessarilly buy into this one just yet. The truth is, the jury is still very out.
 
Law2Doc said:
Well, if you do a quick google search, you will find several studies this past year positing different genetic and mutational links to autism, so I wouldn't necessarilly buy into this one just yet. The truth is, the jury is still very out.
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yeah I don't know if I'd buy into that yet either.
 
Law2Doc said:
Well, if you do a quick google search, you will find several studies this past year positing different genetic and mutational links to autism, so I wouldn't necessarilly buy into this one just yet. The truth is, the jury is still very out.
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yeah I don't know if I'd buy into that yet either.
 
gujuDoc said:
:laugh: :laugh:

yeah guys like girls to be younger so they can bear kids and what not.

A lot of girls who are 29-30+ have been there and dont that. They probably had one or more bad relationship experiences and see their biological clocks ticking so they want someone who'll give them that family life they crave because they are no longer in their late teens and early 20s

Or they are career girls themselves and a lot of times guys don't like girls who are working long hours or who are working reasonable hours but are highly educated. They want girls who they can kinda control and who will stay at home with the kids. I know of an optometrist who is very beautiful. However the guy who was interested in her (a neurosurgeon) kept telling her to quit her job. A lot of other potential guys are the same way. The same happened to a dentist I know. Meanwhile the girls that were willing to settle for 4 year degrees only and get regular jobs like teaching or working with business degrees making less money then the guys were getting married a lot quicker.
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I think it has more to do with "older" women knowing about how men play the field. For example, an 18-21 yr old may be all googly eyed over a "rich doctor" who is going to be their prince charming, etc when it almost never turns out that way.....now more experienced women who have seen what many playboy types are really like (ie. don't really even want to settle down, looking for some "fun", put this game on for many a ladies, etc, etc etc) they are less likely to fall for it. Just my input.
 
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It's absolutely true that as MOST women approach the age of 28-30, they become much more risk averse. I can understand that because if they want kids, it's not going to gel too well with somone in his first few years in med school.

You're only 29, so you can easily date women quite a bit younger with no problem. Just be aware of the immaturity factor with younger women.
 
cfdavid said:
You're only 29, so you can easily date women quite a bit younger with no problem.
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Of course the longevity of may-december marriages, where the older person is a professional and the younger person is mainly seeking a certain lifestyle, tend not to be very impressive, so trophy hunting is not without risk.
 
Noeljan said:
I think it has more to do with "older" women knowing about how men play the field. For example, an 18-21 yr old may be all googly eyed over a "rich doctor" who is going to be their prince charming, etc when it almost never turns out that way.....now more experienced women who have seen what many playboy types are really like (ie. don't really even want to settle down, looking for some "fun", put this game on for many a ladies, etc, etc etc) they are less likely to fall for it. Just my input.
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Yeah that's sorta what I was trying to get at with case one. You just put it more eloquently.
 
rpost3 said:
I'm almost 29 & taking the MCAT this summer. This girl is 31. We've seen each other on and off since December, but she said she won't let herself get into a serious relationship w/ me b/c she wants to be married w/ kids w/in a couple years, and a med student can't give her that. Its kind of a moot point, b/c she just moved 300 mi away and she pretty much hates me now anyway (are there genes for hypocritical and irrational somewhere on that 2nd X chromosome, ladies?), but I was just wondering if anyone had a similar experience. I assume this happens much more to older med students, b/c the younger girls I've dated seemed to be all about dating a med student.
Click to expand...


Moving to the Pre-Allo forum as this is a pre-Allo problem. Allopathic students can reply there.
 
rpost3 said:
I'm almost 29 & taking the MCAT this summer. This girl is 31. We've seen each other on and off since December, but she said she won't let herself get into a serious relationship w/ me b/c she wants to be married w/ kids w/in a couple years, and a med student can't give her that. Its kind of a moot point, b/c she just moved 300 mi away and she pretty much hates me now anyway (are there genes for hypocritical and irrational somewhere on that 2nd X chromosome, ladies?), but I was just wondering if anyone had a similar experience. I assume this happens much more to older med students, b/c the younger girls I've dated seemed to be all about dating a med student.
Click to expand...

Count yourself lucky you didn't have to deal with her bull$hit during school.

Rediscover your love of 21-year olds.
 
I guess maybe she knows you'll be too busy to really be able to have kids soon and she probably wants kids asap.

But anyways, personally I am somewhat repulsed by the younger women nowadays :( Or rather, it seems like every girl I meet that's younger than me still thinks binge drinking and puking everywhere is some sort of requirement of life, and to be honest it's just not that cool when you puke at my apartment. Physically though, the 20 and 21 year olds are just fine by me :p

In all seriousness though, I dunno if I could deal with someone being way more immature than me, and even though I'm not that much older than a 21 year old it still feels like I've matured a heck of a lot in those 2-3 years lol.

She'll probably end up regretting dumping you anyways rpost, it's not really that easy to just find someone and have kids ASAP when you're 31 anyway (unless she is unbelievably hot, in which case umm...yeah)
 
Tired said:
Count yourself lucky you didn't have to deal with her bull$hit during school.

Rediscover your love of 21-year olds.
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Oh Tired, you're so dark and bitter...

... I think I'm in love :love:
 
Look, this breaks down into two fields. Either you want a woman to share your experiences with at work on a cognative level. That GENERALLY (and I say generally to amp down the flame thrower feminist who would have every right to take exception to that statement), you would desire a woman with a higher level of education who understands what you do and what you go through.

The other option is that you are so sick of work and so drained, that you would like a partner who doesn't want to hear about it. I'm being EXTREMELY stereotypically here, so flame off, but that could be the worst type of trophy wife.

My wife has a MBA, and I think that we are already heading into some problems, but she has already recognized them. First off, I'm starting my second year, and it is much more time intensive. So I don't spend as much time with her, hence my posting here. Her job is ultra demanding right now, so I try and spend at least 30-60 minutes talking to her when she gets home. I think she understands that I need to get back to study, and she needs time to decompress from work. It is by no means an optimal arraingement. I think we are going to make it through these next three years, because she understands all this. After all, drop a big Robbins book in front of them and say, this is what I need to know, and it is only one of my five classes, someone with a MBA understands. However, we have a much larger stake in this marriage working out than someone dating.

Yes, if I was dating, I would be hitting on the younger chicks. Then again, I personally would be looking for an intellectual equal. That's me, it may not be you, which is fine. Unfortunately for me, I don't think I'll find an intellectual equal below 25, or else they are so polar opposite there is no way I could date them.
 
megadon said:
Look, this breaks down into two fields. Either you want a woman to share your experiences with at work on a cognative level. That GENERALLY (and I say generally to amp down the flame thrower feminist who would have every right to take exception to that statement), you would desire a woman with a higher level of education who understands what you do and what you go through.

The other option is that you are so sick of work and so drained, that you would like a partner who doesn't want to hear about it. I'm being EXTREMELY stereotypically here, so flame off, but that could be the worst type of trophy wife.

My wife has a MBA, and I think that we are already heading into some problems, but she has already recognized them. First off, I'm starting my second year, and it is much more time intensive. So I don't spend as much time with her, hence my posting here. Her job is ultra demanding right now, so I try and spend at least 30-60 minutes talking to her when she gets home. I think she understands that I need to get back to study, and she needs time to decompress from work. It is by no means an optimal arraingement. I think we are going to make it through these next three years, because she understands all this. After all, drop a big Robbins book in front of them and say, this is what I need to know, and it is only one of my five classes, someone with a MBA understands. However, we have a much larger stake in this marriage working out than someone dating.

Yes, if I was dating, I would be hitting on the younger chicks. Then again, I personally would be looking for an intellectual equal. That's me, it may not be you, which is fine. Unfortunately for me, I don't think I'll find an intellectual equal below 25, or else they are so polar opposite there is no way I could date them.
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Finally I hear of a male who isn't looking for a nurse or a Pre-K teacher to marry him and stay home with the kids.

I am afraid, as a woman, that prospective husbands will greatly diminish in number with an MD after my name, because men will either be intimidated or will want their pre-K teacher/nurse to marry instead.

I am on the younger side of the spectrum here, I'll be starting med school this fall at 20, so hopefully I will be done with it by 24. In that respect, I guess I have the advantage of time after medical school to wait for marrying and having kids (at least a good 4-6 years).
 
baylormed said:
Finally I hear of a male who isn't looking for a nurse or a Pre-K teacher to marry him and stay home with the kids.

I am afraid, as a woman, that prospective husbands will greatly diminish in number with an MD after my name, because men will either be intimidated or will want their pre-K teacher/nurse to marry instead.

I am on the younger side of the spectrum here, I'll be starting med school this fall at 20, so hopefully I will be done with it by 24. In that respect, I guess I have the advantage of time after medical school to wait for marrying and having kids (at least a good 4-6 years).
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I can't speak for others, but all I can say that in my eyes, a woman's stock greatly when she has an MD by her name. When I see a female doc/ med student, I immediately know shes smart, amibitious, intellectual, somewhat humanistic/altruistic (safe assumption), etc. and that is very attractive. I can honestly say that a "cute" female med student/doc has more points in my book than a girl whose more physically attractive, but not very intellectual. I'd love to date a girl in med school but given how small class sizes are, and how much "drama" there supposedly is in dating classmates, I fear thats just wishful thinking :(
 
Tired said:
Rediscover your love of 21-year olds.
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Spoken like a man who knows the blues. That's pretty funny though. I could just imagine seeing you with some dizzy blond with a smokin body who's half your age and not all wondering what you would have to talk about. As if talking about fancy stuff matters all that much.

I guess I got lucky. Married a wonderful woman. Hope my luck holds. You never know though, huh?
 
OP dont fret there are TONS of women out there that would love to be with a doctor... just be patient, focus on school, and take special note of where all those nerve ending are in the clitoris because someday a lucky lady will reap the benefits of your education and skill
 
If I'm 31 and my boyfriend referred to me as "this girl"... man oh man..
 
LyaZ198 said:
If I'm 31 and my boyfriend referred to me as "this girl"... man oh man..
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in english "this girl" is an acceptable way to refer to a specific member of the female gender. if you think thats insulting you may have confidence issues
 
Nasrudin said:
Spoken like a man who knows the blues. That's pretty funny though. I could just imagine seeing you with some dizzy blond with a smokin body who's half your age and not all wondering what you would have to talk about. As if talking about fancy stuff matters all that much.

I guess I got lucky. Married a wonderful woman. Hope my luck holds. You never know though, huh?
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I finally found the perfect woman, ironically she's a couple years older than me. But hell, she's an RN and can roll a cast just perfect, so I was hooked.

But yes, did the terrible med school breakup (that's what I get for sticking the relationship out way too long), messed around with the little undergrads. You may not always have the best conversations, but they sure know how to make you feel good about yourself again. And honestly, after getting kicked in the nuts by an ex-serious girlfriend, sometimes that's just what a guy needs, you know?
 
Tired said:
I finally found the perfect woman, ironically she's a couple years older than me. But hell, she's an RN and can roll a cast just perfect, so I was hooked.

But yes, did the terrible med school breakup (that's what I get for sticking the relationship out way too long), messed around with the little undergrads. You may not always have the best conversations, but they sure know how to make you feel good about yourself again. And honestly, after getting kicked in the nuts by an ex-serious girlfriend, sometimes that's just what a guy needs, you know?
Click to expand...

2 year difference isn't anything. Looks like you found your perfect match. :)
 
LyaZ198 said:
If I'm 31 and my boyfriend referred to me as "this girl"... man oh man..
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You should take that as a compliment. "Woman" is old, old.
 
gujuDoc said:
2 year difference isn't anything. Looks like you found your perfect match. :)
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i agree. just don't think about how she's going to be drawing medicare or getting the senior discount over 700 days before you do. just don't think about that.
 
rpost3 said:
I'm almost 29 & taking the MCAT this summer. This girl is 31. We've seen each other on and off since December, but she said she won't let herself get into a serious relationship w/ me b/c she wants to be married w/ kids w/in a couple years, and a med student can't give her that. Its kind of a moot point, b/c she just moved 300 mi away and she pretty much hates me now anyway (are there genes for hypocritical and irrational somewhere on that 2nd X chromosome, ladies?), but I was just wondering if anyone had a similar experience. I assume this happens much more to older med students, b/c the younger girls I've dated seemed to be all about dating a med student.
Click to expand...

Well, they're only on the X chromosome to make up for the genes for being a total a-hole and an insensitive prick on the Y. :rolleyes:

(no, not bitter. really.)

But in all seriousness, I think numerical age matters much less than a person's maturity. I'm sure that you will find girls of all ages that would love to date a medical student not because they're gold diggers but because they want to date YOU. Anybody who truly wants to be with you should be willing to support you through medical school, and not be bitter that it's delaying their life plan.
 
lol she's also 31. her biological clock is ticking. she only has 4 years to pop out kids before the risk of malformations gets higher.

you shouldn't worry though. you'll find someone who is willing to make it through the good and bad times. and you're only 29. find someone else.
 
baylormed said:
I am afraid, as a woman, that prospective husbands will greatly diminish in number with an MD after my name, because men will either be intimidated or will want their pre-K teacher/nurse to marry instead.
Click to expand...

Your prospective husbands almost certainly will diminish, but that isn't a bad thing.

Think of it as a sort of pre-screening method to weed out the garbage. It'll save you some time, and possibly some heartache. Personally, a woman holding any sort of advanced degree is a major +++ for me, and I think all my friends feel the same way.

For the record, I do not know a single male that would be even an OKAY dating partner who would refuse to date a woman just because she had as much/more education and devotion to her job than he did. You should be happy those folks will no longer be interested in you. They tend to be sub-human anyways;)
 
She's right. You won't have a real income for another 8 years, which is rather incompatible with starting a family soon. Women expect men to work and "bring home the bacon", even if she is working also.

Also, as a 29 year old saying that you're applying to med school, many females will think that you're just a "doctor-wanna-be". That happened to me - and they weren't interested. Now that I'm in med school, the same women have come back saying that they want a relationship. Of course, my answer is no (sorry, too late). If this happens to you, you may feel bitter about it. Guys do it too, though. If a female works out and suddenly becomes much more attractive, many more guys are interested than before. These are all behaviors of our species - evolution in progress.
 
Wanna_B_Scutty said:
FWIW, my now ex-boyfriend just broke up with me last weekend for reasons relating to this. There were other factors at play as well, but the bottom line was the he was on a time table... and I didn't fit it. So it's not just women who think like this. :(


Men are capable of this, too, my friend. Best to just assume that the dating career of a med student can sometimes be a lonely one. From what I hear, though, we'll be considered catches once school is over. ;)
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This is happening to me too. I am just starting med school at 23 and my 30 year old boyfriend who will be a PGY-3 just has different priorities at this point. I don't see how it can work since I have no interest in getting pregnant or married in medical school. When I'm 30 it will be a different story. I think you get to a certain age and no matter what sex you are, you want your signifcant other to be on the same life time table as you.
 
microgal said:
This is happening to me too. I am just starting med school at 23 and my 30 year old boyfriend who will be a PGY-3 just has different priorities at this point. I don't see how it can work since I have no interest in getting pregnant or married in medical school. When I'm 30 it will be a different story. I think you get to a certain age and no matter what sex you are, you want your signifcant other to be on the same life time table as you.
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I'm sorry, microgal. Totally sucks. :thumbdown:

But from what I hear, a ton of relationships break up during M1. I guess if I were going to choose, it's better to have this happn now rather than during Gross Anatomy. :oops:
 
Wanna_B_Scutty said:
I'm sorry, microgal. Totally sucks. :thumbdown:

But from what I hear, a ton of relationships break up during M1. I guess if I were going to choose, it's better to have this happn now rather than during Gross Anatomy. :oops:
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Yeah I totally agree. He actually wants to stay together when I go to school but made it very clear that he doesn't want to "wait" for me, which in his mind means waiting to get engaged...aka..married...aka pregnant:eek:

Needless to say none of those things are on my to do list currently so the choice really isn't a hard one. What is hard though is dissconnecting from the person whose life you have been completely involved in and vice versa for years on end. I'm not good at break ups, but I know that when I move to school it will be best to have a fresh start at life.
 
microgal said:
I know that when I move to school it will be best to have a fresh start at life.
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word^infinity

fresh starts are great, if not a little addicting.
 
gujuDoc said:
yeah guys like girls to be younger so they can bear kids and what not.
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not really....guys like younger girls because they are hot.
 
gary5 said:
She's right. You won't have a real income for another 8 years, which is rather incompatible with starting a family soon. Women expect men to work and "bring home the bacon", even if she is working also.

Also, as a 29 year old saying that you're applying to med school, many females will think that you're just a "doctor-wanna-be". That happened to me - and they weren't interested. Now that I'm in med school, the same women have come back saying that they want a relationship. Of course, my answer is no (sorry, too late). If this happens to you, you may feel bitter about it. Guys do it too, though. If a female works out and suddenly becomes much more attractive, many more guys are interested than before. These are all behaviors of our species - evolution in progress.
Click to expand...
This reply is going to make me seem even more dark and bitter...but I think at least part of my motivation for having gotten back in shape and (hopefully) getting into medical school will be so that one day I too will have the satisfaction of telling people that they had their chance, but they didn't see what was there all along, and now they have to suffer in their crappy dysfunctional relationship with a morbidly obese community college graduate her parents hate with a vengeance and whose career is basically the job I had when I was 16.

Nah, I'm not bitter :laugh: But seriously though, I don't think it would make me bitter so much as give a sense of satisfaction to tell them they had their chance. Wow, ok, maybe I am dark and bitter.
 
Well med students aren't supposed to be old. When you're old you should already have your skill set down and ready to go on to the next phase of your life.
 
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