why can't i date my resident? he's interested and i'm interested but neither of us have made a move. why is it so 'wrong' and who is supposed to ask out who anyways? i like him but could this hurt me (or him)?
so why shouldn't i date my resident?
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Yes stupid. It will.
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Why don't you just wait until the end of the rotation? After that no one gives a crap.
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Because you should never, ever, date those with power over you, or people whom you have power over. Its called conflict of interest.
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there have been resident/med student relationships at my school. I just wouldn't start anything until after the rotation is over and evals are in. And if you are already in a relationship, you should tell the clerkship director when it comes time to do the resident's specialty so that you aren't put on the same team. I don't see what the big deal is and we actually have a resident and 4th yr med student who are engaged in my class who met during her third year.
N
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There is nothing wrong with dating a resident. Just be sure that the resident that you want to date is:
- Not married
- Not in a position to affect your grades in any manner
- Extremely professional about the relationship
If any of the above are true, make sure that they are corrected before you enter into this relationship otherwise someone loses and that "someone" is generally the person who the one that is most vulnerable i.e. you.
If this person is on your rotation team, better to be a friend/work buddy and hookup after you have been graded. From experience, I watched a female medical student being downgraded by an attending because she choose to "date" a resident on the rotation team. If they had been discreet, her grade probably would not have been affected. The attending cited "poor professionalism" as the reason for a drop in letter grade. The resident was not affected.
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The resident can suffer consequences too. These kinds of relationships are frowned upon by hospitals because they dovetail far too easilly into sexual harrassment lawsuits when they go sour.
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You've been given some excellent advice above, especially that from njbmd.
The power differential between you and the resident can make for some potential difficulties...even if you are no longer on the rotation with him when you start dating. Frankly, while not fair, in my experience, female medical students who date male residents, are often seen as less than professional, perhaps even immoral - especially if you end up applying in the same field as the resident. It can look like you're still trying to improve your application "between the sheets."
Medicine is still very conservative and actions performed by females are not seen the same as if a male did it. This is not to discourage you from pursuing a real relationship with someone who attracts you, but you would be wise to wait until your rotation is over AND to keep it very quiet if and when you do.
The power differential between you and the resident can make for some potential difficulties...even if you are no longer on the rotation with him when you start dating. Frankly, while not fair, in my experience, female medical students who date male residents, are often seen as less than professional, perhaps even immoral - especially if you end up applying in the same field as the resident. It can look like you're still trying to improve your application "between the sheets."
Medicine is still very conservative and actions performed by females are not seen the same as if a male did it. This is not to discourage you from pursuing a real relationship with someone who attracts you, but you would be wise to wait until your rotation is over AND to keep it very quiet if and when you do.
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Some good advice here. Thought I would share some interesting info with you. In a study of 154 residents at hospitals affiliated with the Brown University Medical School, over 25% reported that a supervisor had dated a fellow trainee.
From Recupero PR, et al. Supervisor-trainee relationship boundaries in medical education. Med Teach 2005; 27(6): 484-488.
From Recupero PR, et al. Supervisor-trainee relationship boundaries in medical education. Med Teach 2005; 27(6): 484-488.
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Doesn't mean it's pervasive -- Maybe it was the same trainee and she just gets around.
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Because if it gets out, it hurts her.
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And it always gets out. If all the conflicts of interest were resolved, then at least she's on the moral high ground, regardless of what anyone thinks.
Doesn't mean they won't think badly of her--only that there won't be any justification for it.
Doesn't mean they won't think badly of her--only that there won't be any justification for it.
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Why not, as others have pointed out, wait until the rotation is over and then see if there are even feelings? A rotation is what, 4 or 6 weeks? Maybe 12, if it's medicine or surgery at some schools? It amazes me to think that someone could get through medical school but not be able to have the patience to wait a few weeks to get some.
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I'm a med student (albeit an MSTP'er) who dated and married a resident. The points made by njbmd are KEY. Follow those and you'll be fine. Oh, and don't bother trying to hide it........everyone will know (student, residents, and staff), trust me. I'm happier than I can ever remember and I have no regrets.
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Yep, I'd bet that is what the resident is doing too. He'll prolly ax her out on her last day.
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