Social Lives of Commuters vs. Students who Dorm

[Aerodynamics]

So I've had the experience of commuting, but not dorming.

Fellow commuters, do you guys think that you lack a social life ? How does dorming even make a difference in your social life?

Through clubs/activities, aren't commuters able to build the same relationships as dorming students?

Dorming students: Do you think you have more "flourishing" social lives than commuters?

How so?


I wonder how my social life will change from now to when I'm dorming

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[Astarael]

I've done both, and while I really enjoyed my year as a commuter, it did have an affect on my social life. It doesn't have to, but in my case I always wanted to leave campus as early as possible to avoid rush hour. Living on campus makes it a lot easier to hang out with friends without planning it ahead of time.

It sounds like you're going from commuting to living in a dorm, so if anything it will make your social life better. You can definitely have a social life as a commuter, I just think you have to work at it more than if you live on campus.

 

[Barcu]

Your social life will get better.

Live it up.

 

[bucks2010]

4th year commuter here... it really is what you make of it. If you find a group to hang with, it's not difficult to grab dinner and/or hang out at night and then drive home.

 

[torshi]

who cares about a social life, you can live without it.

 

[WingedOx]

who cares about a social life, you can live without it.

there's always one...

 

[Monocles]

Do first year med students usually live in dorms?

 

[Drrrrrr. Celty]

Do first year med students usually live in dorms?

I think there are some schools which allow medical students to live in dorms ( I think I read NYU does it (someone, confirm as true or false). However most opt for an apartment and a significantly cheaper rent/living expense.

@ OP, yah, commuting is putting a dent on my EC & social life time.

 

[WingedOx]

Do first year med students usually live in dorms?

so do, most don't. But that's not what this thread is about.

 

[FlowRate]

I am a commuter student. Dorm students in general have more active social lives, although they are approximately equal to those of students who live close (<5 min via bike) to campus but might still be considered "commuters."

 

[mvenus929]

Do first year med students usually live in dorms?

Usually, no. Some do, though.

And it's easier to have a social life in the dorms, simply because you're living with a lot of different people, you're closer to the activities on campus and don't have to worry about driving home afterwards, and the residence halls tend to put on events that are only for those students as well.

But, of course, you can have a good social life either way, it's a matter of whether or not you want it.

 

[LEUNIT]

I lived in the dorms my first year - made a lot of friends. Commuted the rest of the 3 years - made a lot of friends. No difference.

Friends will introduce you to their friends, who will then introduce you to their friends. Tip: befriend a frat guy.

 

[jadealer]

I lived in the dorms my freshman year and HATED it.... didn't make any lasting/meaningful friendship. I don't like sharing all my living space, i.e. bedroom and a bathroom with 40 other girls.. so freaking gross.... so that could have been the problem. I probably would have dropped out if I had stayed in a dorm situation because I was so miserable.

After that experience, I lived off campus in apartments which were normally fairly close to campus. I made most of my close friends that way though honestly, my best friends were normally not even at my college. But I did get to live with alot of interesting people over the years! I had 7 roommates at one point from 5 different countries/heritages so it was fun... but I still had my own personal space. Two years, I lived 1/2 hr from campus but still hung out with school friends as much as I could while working 30-35 hours a week..

Personally, I found living off campus more gratifying and that I matured more as a person because I didn't have an RA telling me what I could/could not do, I had to learn to pay bills on time and manage money, etc. I was also 6 hours away from home so basically I rarely went home to see my family except my freshman year because I hated my dorm so much.

 

[Spin]

I lived in the dorms for four years, and I spent two summers subleasing apartments. I only had one dorm roommate at a time, whereas in the apartments I had three roommates at a time. So for me, living with more people automatically improved my social life, especially because one of my apartment roommates constantly came up with group activities for us to do. We had a chore wheel and everything

My dorm was very small: a single cramped room, shared by two people. That's not a very hospitable place to bring new friends to, so I just didn't bring new friends over. That pretty much limited my socializing to libraries, coffee shops, restaurants, movies, and other people's apartments. When I finally had more living space in an apartment, I was more comfortable inviting people over to my place, so that helped my social life too: I initiated more hang-outs, and I could reciprocate better when other people initiated hang-outs.

As long as your dorm is a place you can invite other people into, your social life will be at least as good as that of commuters. Have fun dorming it up!

PS: Rosalind Franklin has a lot of on-campus housing, and it's NICE.

PPS: If by commuting you mean "living with parents," your social life will definitely improve when you move into a dorm.

 

[raltima07]

Commuter, and Im not sure - i dont think im a dorm person

 

[Musclemass]

You guys are using "commuting" as a euphemism, I think what many of you are talking about is living at home with your parents.

If you can afford to move out, your college experience will be immeasurably different. If you're attending a "commuter school" in your hometown, transfer elsewhere. If you can afford to move out but don't, you'll have no one to blame but yourself for being a graduate at age 22 with the life skills and experiences of a 12 year old. You need to cut the cord to your parents and grow up sometime, most people do it during the college years

If you can't afford it, then the differences don't matter.

 

[Slowpoke]

I've been a commuter throughout college. Live with parents, drive ~20 miles to get to school in southern california traffic (40min-60min: during heavy traffic periods).

I don't pay for rent or for food. My "roommates" do all the grocery shopping and a great deal of cooking. They don't mind if I eat their food. The one thing that I feel is missing from all of this is the period of life where I'm just out of that comfort zone and have to survive on frozen dinners and instant noodles that I've heard so much about. But I guess I live vicariously through the experiences of others (mainly my girlfriend), though that can only go so far.

I am content with my social life, I have a couple of friends that go skimboarding 1-2 times a week off newport or laguna beach. We're all pretty busy so it works in our schedule. I didn't get into the party scene much but I feel that if I was into that, it may make it easier to have dormed and to be in the "know" about those related events.

 

[alwaysaangel]

Social life is what you make of it - commuter or not. If you live in the dorms you will be there more and may make closer friends which I guess is a 'better' social life.

More importantly, the value in living in the dorms instead of commuting (from home I presume) is living on your own and growing up. Which is priceless. Learn to cook for yourself, do laundry, live on your own, deal with others opinions and generally learn to accept a larger variety of people than those you grew up with.

I really think this is essential. My kids don't have to go to college straight out of high school if they don't want to but they are getting kicked out of the house...they need to move at least 100 miles from home.

I have a couple of med school classmates who are essentially 6 year olds in the bodies of 24 year olds because they've lived at home their whole life. They are complete incapable of thinking for themselves, relating to other people, or taking care of themselves. Whats worse is they don't even know theres anything wrong with it. Absolutely horrifying that these people are going to be doctors.

Go live in the dorm. The life experience alone is worth the cost.

 

[aSagacious]

Tip: befriend a frat guy.

*Note to self... stay away from this guy*

 

[LEUNIT]

*Note to self... stay away from this guy*

Trust me..

 

[WingedOx]

I lived in the dorms my first year - made a lot of friends. Commuted the rest of the 3 years - made a lot of friends. No difference.

Friends will introduce you to their friends, who will then introduce you to their friends. Tip: befriend a frat guy.

or you could just join a frat, so you don't always be that guy that always hangs out at the house, yet no one knows why he never accepts a bid...

 

[LEUNIT]

or you could just join a frat, so you don't always be that guy that always hangs out at the house, yet no one knows why he never accepts a bid...

The thing is, fraternities take a lot of your time and money. One of my roommates was a frat boy, so I always went to his parties. FO' FREE.

 

[WingedOx]

The thing is, fraternities take a lot of your time and money. One of my roommates was a frat boy, so I always went to his parties. FO' FREE.

Did you go to school in the South or something? Between living in the house, and house's meal plan, I saved at least a few grand a year.

 

[Perrotfish]

Did you go to school in the South or something? Between living in the house, and house's meal plan, I saved at least a few grand a year.

I went to school in the south and my house still saved me a few grand a year

 

[WingedOx]

I went to school in the south and my house still saved me a few grand a year

yeah, honestly I have no idea. I know a few southern schools with some expensive-ass dues (East Coast private schools are probably the worst, however), but I really have no idea how a residential house could be significantly more expensive than any other living option...

...actually scratch that, I just remembered that Sig Chi was next door...

 

[Musclemass]

I have a couple of med school classmates who are essentially 6 year olds in the bodies of 24 year olds because they've lived at home their whole life. They are complete incapable of thinking for themselves, relating to other people, or taking care of themselves. Whats worse is they don't even know theres anything wrong with it. Absolutely horrifying that these people are going to be doctors.

EXACTLY!! I'm not sure what word means worse than horrifying, but it's that and more.

 

[LEUNIT]

Did you go to school in the South or something? Between living in the house, and house's meal plan, I saved at least a few grand a year.

Yes, Texas. I've gotten to know a lot of frat guys and sorority girls, and they all say the same thing: it's expensive as sh**. We (5 guys) rented a condo in a nice neighborhood and saved a ton of money. I think our rent was like $360 each, including all the bills and groceries.

 

[mauberley]

I have a couple of med school classmates who are essentially 6 year olds in the bodies of 24 year olds because they've lived at home their whole life. They are complete incapable of thinking for themselves, relating to other people, or taking care of themselves. Whats worse is they don't even know theres anything wrong with it. Absolutely horrifying that these people are going to be doctors.

To counter your anecdotes from your life experience with mine , many of my classmates in undergrad were commuting from home and do not fit the picture you paint. I would chalk this up to, well...they're New Yorkers.

I don't disagree with the overall point that striking out on one's own can facilitate growth and maturity...but again, I can also point to counterexamples from my own experience.

 

[hmockingbird]

To counter your anecdotes from your life experience with mine , many of my classmates in undergrad were commuting from home and do not fit the picture you paint. I would chalk this up to, well...they're New Yorkers.

I don't disagree with the overall point that striking out on one's own can facilitate growth and maturity...but again, I can also point to counterexamples from my own experience.

Yeah, I think it can go either way, and depends on the person... one of my best friends at school lives in the dorm but her parents are 10 minutes away. They solve all her problems for her, do her shopping, do her laundry, drive her everywhere, etc. Even in the dorms, I don't see her as a very independent person. Whereas I know people who live with their parents and they make more independent decisions and are more confident with handling everyday emergencies than my friend. My friend is very confident about who she is, but if she runs out of food or something, she's lost.

I personally like living in the dorms. My freshman year I lived in suites so I only had to share a bathroom with 3 other people, share a room with 1 other. That was nice and was a contributing factor to my college decision... as silly as that sounds. I think I would've hated sharing a bathroom with everyone on my floor.

In terms of independence, he best for me though was living abroad. Even though I'm 800 miles away from my parents at my regular school, they're still a $150 plane ride away in a true emergency, they can call/fax without an extra charge, etc. In the dorms, I had a cafeteria; when I lived abroad, I had to cook for myself. I had to do all my own banking (my mom does my banking at home, because it's easier to get the statements sent to my permanent address), stuff like that. The dorms are nice and I'm kind-of an introvert so it was an easy way to meet new people without feeling a lot of pressure. But I don't think I was truly living in an independent situation until I went abroad and had all the connections to home cut. I think that was a very valuable experience. I got home from a vacation one weekend and I had booked my hotel/plane on my own, figured out the public transit system on my own, and I was just like "wow, I'm an adult". LOL.

I'm currently in an apartment-dorm. I'm on campus but farther off, so I'm disconnected a bit and have more space but still close enough to be involved easily. I really enjoyed the dorms, mostly because of the independence I got (even though I had more studying abroad) and I'd recommend them... but you can certainly succeed as a commuter.