I'm a long-time reader (about 2-3 years), but a first time poster. This site has truly helped me into my first year of medical school. Thank you to everyone that puts serious posts out here for people like me. I truly appreciate it. I just started my first year, and I don't know what to think about it. I have a hard time getting started studying every night. My classmates are really competitive, and I feel like a slacker everytime I go to class. I am not at a top-notch school, but my classmates are people that would be willing to turn their life over to medicine. I am not going to do that. I feel like medicine is a job, not a life. Am I wrong to think this? Also, I am going to be competing against these people for residency positions. Am I at a disadvantage because I don't live, breathe, and eat medicine? Does anyone feel the same way as me? I am glad to have the oppurtunity to study medicine, but I don't want to be ONLY known as a great doctor...I want to be known as a GREAT husband, a GREAT dad (sooner or later), and a GREAT guy. Is this attitude of mine a bad one? I am not shooting for #1 in the class...I am not shooting for top 10% of my class. I want to be in the top half to top third of the class. I like the "laid back type" of specialties, such as Radiology and Anesthesiology. I truly don't think that I will be happy anywhere else. Is my attitude going to hurt my chances of getting into any program? I know this is a choppy message, but these are the thoughts that have been going through my head. Anyone in the same boat as me please reply. I hope I'm not alone out here. Thanks for all the help.