statement of purpose

[ink2009]

I am applying to MPH programs, but I am afraid I'm lacking experience. I have done volunteering at the hospital and physical therapy center, and undergrad research.

My rough draft is attached to this message. Any advice and/or suggestions are welcomed.

Thanks for your time.

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[intlhealth2010]

Hello ink2009,

I would be cautious of putting your PS up for all to see. I think this site has many well-informed people (who do mean well), however anyone with internet access can potentially use your ideas now.

That is just my opinion, I am relatively new to this site myself so maybe I am worrying over nothing.

 

[Applicant2010]

This sounds way too similar to the following statement of purpose example on this website:

http://alumnus.caltech.edu/~natalia/studyinus/guide/statement/samples.htm

Heads up, this definitely qualifies as plagiarism. If I was able to catch it, I can promise an admissions committee will.

 

[swaffles]

Hmm, I went through a few of the samples and they didn't seem that similar. The structure was similar but the information is different, which I feel like is the case for a lot of papers. Perhaps i"m overlooking something, though, since I just skimmed through.

 

[eatprayMHA]

It's definitely plagiarism. Under "Statements by Americans", Statement F, Public Health Studies--there are direct sentences taken from the sample (especially towards the end).

 

[swaffles]

It's definitely plagiarism. Under "Statements by Americans", Statement F, Public Health Studies--there are direct sentences taken from the sample (especially towards the end).

Oh dang, I missed that - Thanks! I kept looking at the bio ones.

 

[espre]

http://www.dustball.com/cs/plagiarism.checker/

 

[smd18]

yeah... there are direct sentences out of that sample statement. definitely do some revising. it's pretty easy once you get the first paragraph done. just speak from the heart. These adcoms want to see the real you, not just BS that sounds good on paper.

 

[djtiesto14]

I agree with smd18. The admissions committee is not stupid and they can easily tell whether or not someone wrote the PS on their own or not. Furthermore, your PS needs some work. Specifically, the content needs to come from your heart. I am not sure which schools you are applying to and when the deadlines are, but your PS needs some work. Sit back, make an outline, and think about what you want to say. In the end, re-read the paper and make sure it has a good flow and it keeps the reader interested at all times. You already lost me in your opening sentence.

Good luck.

 

[E24Gose]

Hello!

I agree with what others have said, but have a small piece of advice that really helped me in my writing process. Have your computer read your paper out loud to you. I usually do it several times, using different voices and speeds to make sure I did not miss anything. Also, google Paper Rater. Its a free proofreading website. It picks up a lot of grammatical issues Microsoft does not. It also breaks down your style, which is important when writing a paper such as this. Repetitive sentences, length and structure get boring to readers and tend to put you at a disadvantage. This website breaks all those logistics down so you can re-evaluate your work. Its free so dont worry about any fees! I hope this helps!

 

[mandyL]

I agree with djtiesto14. You're not lacking experience; you just need to think more about how the volunteer work at hospital and physical therapy center affected you and led you to the decision of studying public health. Try another way to tell your stories. Tell them more about your thoughts and career plan. And you need to work on transitions between ideas.
Good luck!

 

[espre]

The key issue here is that the original poster thought that it was fine to plagiarize. This is not acceptable in any circumstance, and shows a severe breach of ethics and a lack of understanding of right and wrong.

 

[MPHOrthoSurg]

Hello!

I agree with what others have said, but have a small piece of advice that really helped me in my writing process. Have your computer read your paper out loud to you. I usually do it several times, using different voices and speeds to make sure I did not miss anything. Also, google Paper Rater. Its a free proofreading website. It picks up a lot of grammatical issues Microsoft does not. It also breaks down your style, which is important when writing a paper such as this. Repetitive sentences, length and structure get boring to readers and tend to put you at a disadvantage. This website breaks all those logistics down so you can re-evaluate your work. Its free so dont worry about any fees! I hope this helps!

Just checked out Paper Rater; great suggestion E24Gose! For kicks, I had it review the PS that I had submitted to Dartmouth (my top choice). It graded my essay a B+. Too bad I did not know about this program when I was submitting!


Ink2009- Feel free to PM a revised copy of the PS.

Best of luck,

MPH OrthoSurg

 

[aaftmb]

lol i got a B on paper grader for my SOP

 

[swaffles]

lol i got a B on paper grader for my SOP

Haha, me too! I can't get anything above an 89 on that site and frankly, I'm a little offended.

I kept changing the title in case it was the fact that the title was too boring...

However, I'm really glad to have found this website now! It's really helpful with catching mistakes that MS Word doesn't.

 

[E24Gose]

Haha, the highest I was able to get was an 89. I think its due to possessive pronouns and such. Most technical writing sites are against the use of them, calling these pronouns trite. Its okay. Im sure everyones' papers were wonderful (as long as they werent plagarized!).

I'm really glad you guys were able to get some use out of it! I know it really helped me with sentence variation and such. Who knew I started so many sentences with auxiliary verbs?!

 

[ToxMan1]

Ugh. This thread is a disaster.

 

[vonphoebe]

en , I feel very lucky to read this thread.
I am planning to apply PhD at present, I know it is late. But i only want to apply to one school.
I just checked my MPH application PS because I want to write PHD PS, I realize I wrote too much staff that none of business with my MPH application.

And at present, after I have my MPH degree, I have a lot words to present in my PS. Basicly, I wrote,

• .reasons? .
• .relevant experiences that have led you to pursue this degree.
  .
• .What topics might you want to study in the program? .
• .What specific research questions might you want to investigate as part of your course or dissertation work? Discuss..
• .What career might you like to pursue once completing your degree, and how do you see yourself contributing to that field?.