PhD/PsyD Staying Sane In Insane Times

[Terri Dactyl]

Greetings everyone!

A colleague and I are exploring developing a webcast/podcast by and for psychologists (and students/interns). Basically, we enjoyed our "social distancing" video chats about managing life/work and thought... hey, wonder who else is trying to stay afloat as the world turns upside down.

Spurred by the quick upheaval of life as we know it due to COVID-19 along with the national/global response to police brutality, we want to connect with fellow psychologists and provide a space to discuss how is it for psychologists to manage so many stressors happening ON TOP OF the regular stressors that we experience in clinical practice.

I saw previous threads regarding COVID-19 discussed pragmatic changes to clinical practice; but I'm curious... HOW ARE YOU DOING?! How are you staying sane in these insane times? More than just self-care- hearing from folks about the reality of what it's like for us to work through a pandemic. So many patients [and friends, family, colleagues] look to us as models for self-regulation and some of us have been blessed with Impostor Syndrome and so well... we want to normalize that we don't always have it all together, all the time *nervous laugh.*

We want to expand topics outside of COVID-19 eventually and cover various work-related topics (e.g., clinical practice, providing supervision, navigating as early-career psychologists, etc). And if it's okay to post a link to the webcast page (currently a FB group page) then I will in a later post; didn't want to solicit/spam the forum. [PS... we're such noobs at this so please don't think this webcast is anything but amateur. Took us an hour to realize we could record our zoom video chats *face palm*]

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[CatLover&PsychEnthusiast]

I really appreciate this new thread. I’ve been getting by through too heavily identifying with the ‘mytherapistsays’ memes on Instagram

 

[cara susanna]

I'm an introvert so honestly I'm doing okay. The only thing is it's hard to focus during phone appts, and I find video more exhausting than in-person. Current socioeconomic events and factors are getting to me more than the pandemic, although those also relate to the pandemic because honestly I feel like it's never, ever going to get better as long as certain things stay the same. I'm trying to deal with this by limiting my news intake.

Also, I REALLY miss theatre.

 

[Justanothergrad]

I've just recently, finally gotten fully in the swing of things (adjusting to zoom meetings, backyard small group gatherings, relative isolation, etc) just in time to go back to in person teaching, which seems inane and unnecessary. It adds some complexity and stress to my planning although most of my work will remain remote/shut down. That's pretty annoying and frustrating, but not end of the world level stuff. I'm meeting with my chair later this week to discuss trajectory and steps I can take given the issues I've encountered to continue being successful. I'm generally frustrated that board games are less exciting with 2 players compared to 6, which I guess just leaves me with the choice to sit out on the larger games or make select social isolation pacts with a few others for the next few months. There are a few heavier games that I'd really like to dig into before long. At this point, I'm just looking forward to November to do my part to get rid of the great orange idiot. That, for me, is a lynch pin in my mental health plan for right now since, as cara said, my larger concerns of the lingering economic and political scars and my hopes to abate that to any degree really rely on ballot efforts.

 

[deleted343839]

Professionally, I have switched to nearly 100% telehealth and with that has come a loss of most of my clinical support as everyone on the support side is stretched so thin and in my setting psychology is the last to be resourced. I feel like I'm doing almost everything on my own and even routine things take more effort and time as a result. I could easily walk away from clinical work altogether if I had the opportunity. I enjoy working from home and am as productive if not more as compared to being in the office. I'm more of a "keep your head down and get it done" type at work, and while I enjoy the casual interactions with people at work I don't find myself craving them either. Zoom meetings and phone calls are okay for now.

On a personal note, I don't enjoy social distancing but I can certainly tolerate it. I miss traveling. Going outside and going for walks helps. I have school-age kids, and figuring out safety and logistics of school has got to be one of the most stressful aspects of this pandemic. But I constantly am reminded that I am lucky to live with a family. I would be lonely trying to hack this without companionship.

 

[Spydra]

As a student, I really appreciate learning how those of you in the field are actually doing. Far too often professors don't share such things so we get kind of a warped view of what things may actually be like. Its sort of like how when professors don't model self-care some students struggle to do it because of the lack of examples in addition to maybe a lack of know how and support.

 

[AcronymAllergy]

I'll second much of what MamaPhD and cara said professionally, in that most administrative tasks are falling to me, these and other routine activities take much longer in the current heavily-remote environment, and telehealth is more draining than in-person. We've returned to limited in-person testing, which has helped restore some sense of normalcy. It does make me miss testing under "normal" circumstances, though. I prefer to be in the office rather than at home, as I know myself, and know I'm more productive here. I also like keeping the home and work environments separate.

Personally, I was more stressed a few months ago. I've tapered down the amount of news I watch and read now, which (combined with deleting lots of emails) has helped a lot. Still make sure to fit in self-care.

 

[Ollie123]

My stress level is high, but like others have said - not from social distancing or the pandemic itself so much as the downstream effects it is having. Working from home has pros/cons. I'm more productive in some ways, less in others. Writing is finally getting done, which is good. No kids for us yet. The folks I know with kids are going crazy and most have had to figure out daycare and/or have relatives care for them even with the risks. I have been fortunate to retain reasonably good admin support throughout this time. I'm somewhere in the middle on the introvert/extravert scale. I'm OK alone and normally prefer solitary activities anyways, but REALLY enjoy occasional gatherings with friends and am missing that tremendously. I have some existential dread about the future of NIH funding and what is going to happen to academia. The implications that has for my research are profound anyways (see my other thread) so even when I <can> go back to research, I think around 90% of the data I will be getting is going to be meaningless trash I'll just end up scrapping anyways. My colleagues and university are largely just encouraging us not to think about those issues. Largely because its about getting the work done for the funders. This is one of countless examples of why I have increasing distrust of academia/science (albeit not in a "Trumpian" way). I am very concerned about what this will do to the economy. Not even just tomorrow, but how things will look in 5-10 years. Grateful I'm just starting and not just retired.

Some other random thoughts/lessons:
- The pace of change is one of the biggest challenges. What is true today is not true tomorrow. "We're restarting next week! Actually in a month! Maybe not at all? No - now, come in! Why are you here, you should be at home!".
- You really learn who is and is not a reliable employee in times like this. I know people working til midnight because they arranged with their partner to make sure they are covering childcare at all hours and their new work shift is 4PM to midnight. I also know people who have literally stopped responding to anything and as far as I can tell have not done a single thing since piece of work since March and somehow remain employed.
- I am very noise sensitive. I live with my wife and in-laws. Having constant noise during the day (not anything unusual - just normal life-noise) is problematic for my productivity. I see open-floor-plan homes becoming (much) less popular in the near future.
- I don't care what anyone says, some meetings need to be in-person. Just because you "can" do it online, doesn't mean you should. A lot of meetings seem to take 2x as long as they should.
- Some people are lonely and seem to like scheduling zoom meetings just for the sake of seeing people. I get it, but also I hate them.
- Age is negatively correlated with appropriate use of mute button, p < .000000001.
- I am in much better physical shape now than at the start of the pandemic even despite a one month interlude of working 90 hour weeks (see next bullet). No commute time = more exercise. No restaurants = more cooking. These have had more impact on my mental health than I would have imagined, especially given I was someone who exercised and ate healthy as a baseline.
- Submitted my first R01 during the pandemic. Do Not Recommend.
- I feel incredibly lucky to be employed and incredibly anxious that it won't stay that way. I have no reason to think it won't, other than that it might.

I think being purposeful in this time is critical. I draw parallels to my BA/ACT work. Folks I know treating this exclusively as a "OMG - we need to hide at home, I'm giving up everything, etc." are doing much worse. I'm taking this as an opportunity to engage more heavily with different types of work that I arguably enjoy more than my usual day-to-day (writing/analyzing). An inspiration to finally learn to make those restaurant recipes I always say I should try to make at home and then never get around to doing (tomorrow is thai basil chicken with garlic-chili brussel sprouts). An opportunity to refine my exercise routine and spend more time with my wife. Approach behavior rather than avoidance behavior. Even if the latter is what drove us into this situation, framing it as the former feels much better.

 

[ClinicalABA]

I really appreciate this thread and all your thoughtful replies.

Professionally, things have smoothed out and I've gotten into groove of things. My company was very quick to react and shut down all in person services. This led to some initial fears about job stability (both of me personally, for the department (i.e. assessment centers), and for the agency as a whole. There were some initial reductions in billable requirements, which only made me nervous as any reduction in revenue is a risk. Combined with fears over my wife's job, there was fear of losing income (she's a realtor, and after a few weeks lull, has been busier than ever. Turns out money is cheap and people are looking to make changes and get our of the cities). I over-reacted a bit initially and over-scheduled as I anticipated a reduction in referrals. Actually, the opposite has happened, with minimally stable and likely increased referrals. Combined with lower cancellation rates (it is easier, after all, for parents to walk to the living room and "zoom" into an assessment vs. pack up kids, find a ride, secure child care for siblings, etc.), I was frackin' hammered in May-June, and am only now catching up with things. Remote services have also allowed for my colleagues in less busy areas to see some of "my" kiddos, and this caused some anxiety about others "stealing" my hours or not doing a good job with "my" families (all unfounded concerns, of course- my wait list is now only 3-4 months (vs. 6-8), and my colleagues are, across the board, amazing clinicians and diagnosticians). Still, I've worked really hard to build up trust with my referral sources and community providers, so i get to be over protective. Zoom has ended up working very well for the vast majority of my clients. It's more convenient and accessible to many families. I am, however, REALLY missing that in-person contact and interaction with the kids. It's just special when you can get that very self-directed kiddo to respond to and interact with you in way that their parent didn't think was possible. I've gone from the modal response of "s/he did much better during the assessment than i thought they would" to "yeah, this was pretty typical." Funny thing is, diagnostically speaking, its probably better that i see a more typical presentation. Still, I miss it very much. I'm going to start doing remote assessments from my office in a few weeks (instead of from my basement), and I'm really looking forward to it. I've also had guilt about financial stability while others are struggling (I know- boo hoo!).

On a personal level, it's been a bit more challenging. Initially, I was convinced that me or my wife would catch COVID, and i had fears of the collapse of local medical systems. I'm kind of an extrovert, and really miss the casual interactions, small-talking, and joking with colleagues. I've had two vacations cancelled, so really haven't had that time away to recharge that I would like (both were trips to the woods- backpacking and car camping). I've realized how small my house is- basically 4 adults (at least physically speaking). Not much privacy. I'm not actually that great at having serious conversations (I'd rather think and act than talk about things) and that has been a bit of a sore point with my wife. I worry about the impacts on my kids (a rising college sophomore and high school senior), though they seem to be doing ok with things. I've had periods of feeling really anxious (more the phsycial sensations than the thoughts), and have been either a bit "snippy" or just avoidant and distant at times. There's a whole bunch more dirty dishes and al lot less clean towels than I'm used to. I've also had to rein in some potentially bad habits, such as daily 5pm cocktail hour, with subsequent before, during, and after dinner drinks. I've found it surprisingly difficult to just sit and read a book. It's all just a little...strange!

I've also become much less politically tolerant and understanding. While always extremely liberal, I did try to understand different perspective and reasons others may have for supporting political/ideological positions that I might disagree with/find abhorrent. over the past few months I've become downright hateful of the type of beliefs and thought that permeate right wing politics. My biggest fear is how I (and those close to me) would deal with that current repulsive monster of a human being re-elected.

 

[Terri Dactyl]

I really appreciate this new thread. I’ve been getting by through too heavily identifying with the ‘mytherapistsays’ memes on Instagram

YES!!! Memes are definitely a part of self-care and getting through all of this... so far this is my favorite and pretty much every workday:

I'm an introvert so honestly I'm doing okay. The only thing is it's hard to focus during phone appts, and I find video more exhausting than in-person. Current socioeconomic events and factors are getting to me more than the pandemic…

Also, I REALLY miss theatre.

*nods* I absolutely relate to this, especially needing to limit news intake. I’ve found that even listening to NPR has focused so much on COVID-19 that it doesn’t provide the global perspective with the BBC World News anymore, it’s politics, the virus, and politicalizing of the virus. Thanks for sharing your experience!

I've just recently, finally gotten fully in the swing of things (adjusting to zoom meetings, backyard small group gatherings, relative isolation, etc) just in time to go back to in person teaching, which seems inane and unnecessary…

Wow, having to balance all of that plus in-person teaching *smh* Now social isolation pacts for gaming is interesting… The adjustments we’re making to social activities, especially when we don’t know how long this will last. The pending sociopolitical game changer in November is definitely anxiety provoking. Just heard the de-legitimization of mailing voting *smh* Let us all go to the voting poles with a huge innertube around us… 6ft please! Thank you!

Professionally, I have switched to nearly 100% telehealth and with that has come a loss of most of my clinical support as everyone on the support side is stretched so thin and in my setting psychology is the last to be resourced…

*nods* I’ve found the same on my end; 100% telework, and clinical support (which was already unreliable) is nearly gone. Glad it’s been an easier adjustment working from home and you have your family with you. Keeping kids safe with the uncertainty of schools reopening has been the predominant stressor, so many parents are feeling that on top of employment concerns. Thank you!

As a student, I really appreciate learning how those of you in the field are actually doing. Far too often professors don't share such things so we get kind of a warped view of what things may actually be like. Its sort of like how when professors don't model self-care some students struggle to do it because of the lack of examples in addition to maybe a lack of know how and support.

Absolutely! Hopefully demystifying the process and revealing that we too struggle GREATLY with self-care. I reminded myself today… it is OKAY to take a bathroom break! Sometimes we push ourselves to limit that, breaks for meals, and other self-care boundaries get crossed too.

I'll second much of what MamaPhD and cara said professionally, in that most administrative tasks are falling to me, these and other routine activities take much longer in the current heavily-remote environment, and telehealth…

Testing in person seems to be an evolving situation, I’ve heard various settings implementing different PPE; right now my site has placed all testing on hiatus. I miss it dearly. Like you, I rather keep work/home separate but it hasn’t blurred too much… I like my 30-second commute to the living room Thank you!

My stress level is high, but like others have said - not from social distancing or the pandemic itself so much as the downstream effects it is having. Working from home has pros/cons. I'm more productive in some ways, less in others….

Thank you for your feedback and insight into the academic pressures and stressors that COVID-19 is causing/exacerbating. I hope your data can be salvaged than trashed. You bring up many great tips/lessons! BTW, I laughed a little too hard, a little too much at the negative correlation with the mute button

I really appreciate this thread and all your thoughtful replies.

Professionally, things have smoothed out and I've gotten into groove of things. My company was very quick to react and shut down all in person services. This led to some initial fears about job stability (both of me personally, for the department (i.e. assessment centers), and for the agency as a whole. There were some initial reductions in billable requirements,...

Thank you for sharing! The financial in/stability is definitely a worry that I’ve been lucky to avoid (working in an organization) so that is an important reminder than many are struggling with the income worry that millions are facing with the pandemic. Glad it worked out!
You bring up a really important point too… the difficulty of just sitting still, and the adjustments and issues coming up with living all under one roof…. And yes, my bandwidth for political discourse/tolerance is ZILCH!


Thank you so much everyone for taking the time to share your experiences, struggles, successes, and adaptations! This is an ever evolving situation and I'm amazed to how much we've changed our lifestyles, routines, work practices, and just perspectives in such a short amount of time- and... knowing that it's been such a struggle in so many ways that we're not even able to fully grasp the repercussions this pandemic/global trauma will have on our lives in the future.

I'll be sure to share the link to our podcast/webcast/video when we upload it. Stay safe, be well, and keep washing your hands [for at least 20 seconds!]

 

[Terri Dactyl]

Greetings all! We're in the process uploading our first video to our FB group. If you wish to view it or join the group (open to all mental health practitioners including trainees) the link is here: Drinks with Shrinks FB Group. Thank you all for sharing your experiences as we get through this pandemic together!

All the best,
Terri F.

 

[singasongofjoy]

I was super stressed and unproductive at first, as I was one of 2 people across the state in our organization (I'm affiliated with an AMC) to rotate through the office to help keep up with referrals, resource calls, etc., anything that couldn't be done virtually. The back and forth was killer for me - I'm much happier now that I'm (mostly) back in my office with all my post-it notes where they are supposed to be and systems / routines back in place and not leaving things god knows where in the transition back and forth (things I have lost to some sort of gremlins include a keyboard- never found - glasses, found later in my kid's toy box- and a whole lot of time). But still dealing with weekly admin & schedule changes due to this that or the other COVID-related disruption and now I"m starting to lose sleep about the massive, massive budget cuts that are certainly coming down the pipe in addition to those we've already been given, and the number of my IDD folks who are slowly unraveling without the routine of work, school, activities, etc. and many of their service providers are not doing in-person right now. Some days I'm doing well, and some days like today I feel like my current favorite meme/thing I saw on FB (Q: If 2020 were a drink, what would it be? A: Vodka in a water bottle when you're expecting water). Anyone else feeling the stressors of budget cuts yet?

 

[singasongofjoy]

As a student, I really appreciate learning how those of you in the field are actually doing. Far too often professors don't share such things so we get kind of a warped view of what things may actually be like. Its sort of like how when professors don't model self-care some students struggle to do it because of the lack of examples in addition to maybe a lack of know how and support.

Thank you. This also serves as a good reminder that I should model what I hope to instill for my students. I had two internship supervisors who really made a point to do that - and point out when they were leaving at 5:30 and that they expected us to do so too. It was probably the best professional - development type skill I learned on internship, TBH. It took them pressing it hard - and pressing the separation of work/home which I needed- to help me break out of the grad school mentality. On the other hand, now it feels SUPER hard for me to get much done at home