Success as a Non-Traditional?

[Texo]

I'm 23 and a post-bacc student in Texas (possible future Physiatrist). I went to a top 30 university in VA and was accepted to NYU, Columbia, Berkeley, Northwestern, and St. Louis for post-bacc studies. My decision on Texas was the result from looking at a bigger picture - 9 medical school opportunities, an easy shot at in-state residency, extremely low prices on tuition ergo low debt, and widely expanding medical arena fit for residencies of all types. I have always been a hard worker, mature, and outperformed my peers more often than not.

Needless to say making the decision to go back and do undergraduate studies after finishing with high honors is a complete blow to my ego. I turned down PhD programs, because after I went to Tanzania and worked with HIV/AIDS education in rural areas everything about me, my life, etc readily fell together. As a result, I realized that I was "meant" to be a doctor as so many often say.

I think what is holding me down in the back of my mind is that I haven't met a doctor who started school at 26 like I will. All my friends are in their 2nd year, and when they graduate I'll just be starting. On top of that (if this means anything at all) I'm gay - one day I would like to have a family of my own. All things combined, I find myself without a mentor or someone to look up to remind me that it's OK to have a different path; that it's not too late, and I'm not a huge loser.

I know this was a long thread to arrive to a certain point, but right now I suppose I feel tired and downtrodden. I'm not going to give up, because I'm no quitter. I have no doubts ever about this being my calling - I devour NEJM, have incalculable hours of internships, and work at an AIDS hospice. If anyone has any ideas about how to shake this feeling of regret or inadequacy or has been there please feel free to post (especially if you are an MD or DO that has been here and managed).

(haha Wow this was long...)

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[njbmd]

Anything that you were planning to do in your life before deciding on medical school, you can do in and after medical school. I have many colleagues who are gay, who have families who are gay and have families. Gayness does not stop one from having a family and medical school does not stop one from having a family.

Will you be able to spend loads of time with children and practice medicine at the same time? No, you won't but coming from a family where my father was a physician, didn't cause me to become an ax murder or have adjustment problems. Actually, I followed in my father's footsteps after 5 years of working as a research scientist.

Do whatever you feel that you must do in order to gain acceptance into medical school but don't believe for a second that by choosing medicine, one has to renounce everything else in life. Any career has periods where it will be more demanding than others. You have to decide if you can life with those demands again being gay doesn't come into the picture.

 

[Texo]

Thank you for your reply. I noticed your UVA...I went to W&M (The nerd school haha).

Anyway, I didn't mean that being gay was a hinderance. I suppose I brought it up because I haven't heard of other gay doctors and am acting as my own inspiration/mentor at the moment which I guess isn't a terribly bad thing. I've depended on myself to get this far.

 

[Dewybear]

Hello,

First of all reading your post I can totally relate to your post. I graduated from Umich undergrad recently. While all my friends from undergrad have started medical school/law school I'm stuck taking undergrad classes. The thought of going through undergrad, graduating then coming back and taking these entry level courses killed me! Although I wasn't like a solid A student I could have been in a position to start med school with all of my peers. Also I hated the "Oh so what are you doing after graduation" question that people I went to school with asked. Because I felt embarrassed of telling my accomplished peers that I'm taking undergraduate courses. At first I thought that these feelings were normal and totally natural and at times I was embarrassed of revealing that I was"pre-med". It wasn't until I started meeting and talking to non traditional students until I started feeling better about myself. Talking to Non traditional pre meds has helped me realize that I was stuck in the "undergrad" "popularity contest" way of thinking. Who cares if your 26 or 40 when starting medical school? I don't mean to be rude I'm only demonstrating the changes that I had to make in my thinking in order to help me cope. The truth is that it is never to late! There are a ton of 30,40 year old pre-meds who started medical school in their 30's and 40's check the non traditional age thread and there is nothing wrong with that in fact it's inspiring. It's inspiring to see that no matter what people always come back to their true passion no matter how much time goes by. The truth is if you have the passion then you owe it to yourself to pursue your dreams regardless if you are 26 or 56! My advice is to surround yourself with people in your situation and to venture out from the typical 23 year old friends you made in undergrad. If you were to surround yourself with non traditional pre meds you will realize that you are not abnormal or lame ! You need to change your thinking a lot of people put off medical school but if their passion is true they return. You are actually on the fairly young side of post bac students so embrace it enjoy it and be proud that you are accomplishing your dream. Don't compare yourself to your peers because that will only make you G miserable. Also no matter what you are Gay,straight,young,old it DOESNT matter do what makes you happy. Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments and enjoy the journey.