SWK -- Students With Kids Support Group

[agent]

Hi All,

I've been a member at SDN for a little while now and I know there's some of you out there who have kids.

I have two very young children and I'm trying to do the whole pre-med thing. Its really damn tough sometimes. Often its hard to find time to study.

I really would like to hear from others who have kids and are going through the process and how you manage it all.

Are you in classes now? If so what?
When do you study?

If you've already been through the process and want to chime in anyway, please feel encouraged to post and give us some inspiration.

Thanks to everyone and God bless I made through another semester!!!
-----------------
Though your beginning was insignificant, your end will increase greatly. Job 8:7

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[Celiac Plexus]

You should have kept your zipper up!


Seriously though, ask your husband to step up! And also, get help from your parents and your husbands parents. No easy way though I guess.

A guy in my class is 32 with a young kid and he kicked serious a$$... He and his wife work hard together to raise their kid, and make sure that he has enough time to deal with med school. Though I will say that he is smart as hell and requires less time to study than most.

Good luck!

 

[manna]

Ummm Celiac... Agent is a guy. So I don't think he has a husband to speak of.

You know I'm fighting this battle too, Agent. Kids, work, school... it never ends, and I get awfully discouraged sometimes. It's not any easier being a woman and always expected to fit the stereotype that women are to stay home and raise their babies. Honestly, I'd love to stay home and raise my babies, but the fact of the matter is I have to work to support them one way or another, so why not go on and pursue my dream? I think in the end, they'll learn a little perseverence from me... that they can do anything they set their minds to. I guess I'm kinda reiterating some of what was posted in my Mommy guilt thread.

As far as finding time to study - I don't get much sleep. I'm lucky that I have a boss who doesn't mind if I hit the books a bit during down time at work.

I had my A & P II final last nite. Ended up with a B on it, but I think I'll pull an A out of the class overall since the rest of my grades were pretty good.

This summer I've signed up for micro (night), Gen Bio I (online) and Comp II (online). Plus working 40 hours a week. I'm probably overloading myself and not sure how I'll handle it, but I'm learning that I thrive on chaos. I can do anything for a limited period of time, and summer courses don't last that long. Plus, I'm ready to get the ball moving and start getting more courses out of the way. I've been going to night school/part-time for almost 5 years.

 

[agent]

I'm taking the summer off.. i need the time to find a school to go to and arrange all of that.

 

[gwenn5]

I am waiting to start med school in the fall and have five children (ages 7 to 17) so trust me, it can be done! I finished my pre-med requirements last summer and my undergrad degree in December so I am not in classes now, and honestly I have been getting anxious waiting for the "real thing." I have had my share of ups and downs, and know that it still won't be easy, but this is surely a rough road worth traveling. I wish you all the best in your endeavor!

 

[lilmacstew]

Hey,
I have a family. My hubby is in the service, and is gone right now, so I am alone with 2 kiddos. One 20 months and one 4 months old. I am also still attending school full time. This only reaffirms what I want and how bad I want it. And being able to do this alone all of it, only makes me know that I can do med school. my hubby is also premed and is going to apply through the army for med school to start in 2005. We would start the same year!! It will be really tough, and we may end up being seperate, but we have supportive family, and we are tough. The whole beggining of our relationship we were seperated. And now we are again. So we know that this only makes us stronger and more determined to finish this and give the best that we can to our children.
Yes it is full of sleepless nights, well not entirely sleepless if you couldn't 5 hours!! But have to stay up and study at night when the kiddos are in bed!!
I put this dream of mine off for a year, when we got married and had our daughter. However hvaing my daughter made me even more determined and I have done 150% better in school, because I want to be able to give her all tha that I never had!!

WE CAN DO IT!!!!



http://www.geocities.com/mommd2009/family_page.html

Here is a link to my beautiful family!!!!

 

[dreaminOfMD>.<]

lilmacstew, your family IS beautiful!

I'll join the club...I have one daughter who is almost 5 years old. I will be applying to medical school this summer, taking my MCATs in August and just about ready to have a little vacation!

I usually just study when my daughter goes to bed at night...but nowadays, she's been better with letting me study throughout the day in little tid bits. She studies along with me, or when I get her into doing little art projects then I also have a little time there. I've gotten desparate in the past before where I would cook and any extra minute I got in the kitchen, I would read my genetics book...

I'm taking 2 calculus-based physics courses and an upper division cell biology course at UCLA...love the school, but need a break already!

 

[Mimicat]

Hi folks,

I have three kids - Boy 6.5, Girl almost 5 and Girl 3. It is very busy in our house!! I just finished two years of prereqs and am waiting to hear (any day now) whether I have been accepted for this fall. It is nice to be off for the summer at least.

 

[PACtoDOC]

I have a daughter who is 5, and a son who is 4. I am starting my second year of med school, and life couldn't be better. I went to PA school back in 95-98 at UTMB med school in Galveston, Texas, and there as a guy who graduated from MD school when I graduated from PA school, who was over forty, and had NINE kids. He did very well and got a great residency. Kids keep you balanced and keep you from trying to find things to do outside of school. I see all the single people talk about going out, dating, talking to sig-others on the phone long distance, travelling home to see parents and lovers, etc.... To me that would be harder than what I have to do. I go to class about 30% of the time, I study about 4 hours per day if I don't go to class, and I spend every evening with my family unless I have an exam pending in the next two days. My wife was very afraid that she would see less of me than when I was a working PA. Boy was she wrong. there are weeks that I literally never leave her side, studying at home. She often asks me to get out for awhile because she needs her personal time!! This will change next year in 3rd year, but as for now, life is sweet. Of all the people on the Dean's List in my class, about 40% have kids. Only 10% of the class actually has kids though, so what does that tell you?

 

[phar]

Geez...you guys...i asked a sincere question and just wanted to see if you guys had a better answer and i did not get any response since i posted(24hrs + ago). Don't let my "idiotic" actions/sayings in the lounge and pre-allo forums fool you. So, i deleted my post out of respect for the other parents out there. Anway, i wish you guys the best in parenting and medical school. I wish i had an full custody so you are lucky.

 

[DrMom]

Phar,

Maybe none of us had an answer for you. Don't take the lack of response personally.

 

[manna]

Originally posted by phar
Geez...you guys...i asked a sincere question and just wanted to see if you guys had a better answer and i did not get any response since i posted(24hrs + ago).

Phar,

Sorry I didn't respond .... I didn't see the question.

I am not always able to check the site everyday, so sometimes I'm a little slow.

 

[miss_m]

.

 

[miss_m]

Phar, sorry I didn't see the questio either

 

[lalee]

Originally posted by miss_m
(and the one fault I have)

Just ONE, eh?
Well, I'M perfect...absolutely no faults, whatsoever!

 

[Kammel Jacque']

cool forum!

 

[agent]

Sorry Phar, I've been a bit negligent with the group here.

I had a long hospital ordeal ( i was in not visiting) but it finally looks like I may have my fall school in order.

I should be attending Northwestern in the fall so Im really psyched!

My youngest son is 2 months old now. I'm not sure if I should take 1 or 2 classes in the fall.

I thought about just taking one to test the waters of NW. Not sure how hard its going to be yet and I dont want to kill myself.

 

[manna]

Agent - given your recent health problems, job and two little kids... if I were you, I'd probably just take one or two courses this fall. I suppose if two was too many you could drop before the school's drop date? And aren't you coming from a CC to the U? I'd be a little anxious about getting too overwhelmed with that too.

I understand the rush, though... I have a similar problem myself.......

Would it be selfish of me to take night classes four days a week?

I'm considering doing all my pre-reqs and applying to a BSN program next fall (2004). But of course I have to work around these pesky classes being offered at night, etc since I work full-time during the day.

Obviously, being 26, still a sophomore in college and trying to support two kids on a piddly amount of money.... I'm ready to go on and get on and get my BS.

I wouldn't mind taking four nights of classes a week... I love school - I get stressed out about it, but it's what keeps me going sometimes. I thrive on chaos! I've been commuting an hour each way and taking classes from 5-10pm two days a week since January.

So I'm not worried about me.... I'm worried about the boys. Would it be unfair to them for me to be gone that much more (already gone 40 hrs a week while I'm at work/they're at daycare).

I guess the guilty feeling I'm getting just thinking about it should be a red flag, huh?

Oh, BTW my boys are 18 months and (almost) 5!

 

[agent]

Manna,

I think 4 nights a week might be alot for them to handle. I'd probably just do 3, but I totally understand your urgency.

I think i'll probably end up teaching bio at least for a few years and maybe if I do go the med school route I could teach 1 or 2 classes at night a week to keep an income.

I guess I'm still in the back of my mind pursuing doctor, but leaving my other possibilities open.

 

[MSV MD 2B]

Hi! i have a 16 m old and will be starting medical school in the fall. i have tried to stress to my husband what it will be like espeiclaly since he wnats another child (i have convinced him that we should wait until 4th year). he has gotten a taste when i was taking some classes and stuyding for the mcat so i think he has a feel fro what it will be like. My son goes to bed at 7:30 so i plan to study after he goes to bed and if the lectures aren't worth the time i will not go to them and study in the morning.
i agree with manna that i will have to work so i figure that i might as well work in something that i have a passion for.

 

[momof2]

Mother of 2 and wife - full time engineering job and attending class in evenings for pre-reqs.......there must be more of us than I thought. We can make it. In fact, I think we are more focused because we know we don't have time to kill.

I am an unlikely candidate with lower than average MCAT and GPA but am truly optimistic about my future in medicine.

 

[simtech]

I understand your dilemma (manna and agent). I constantly struggle with where to draw the line between school, work and family myself. I have a 3 yr old son and a 40 hr/wk job along with premed classes. There have been times when I have wondered if it is worth it, but so far the answer has always been yes.

 

[agent]

simtech, i feel for you.

Manna and I will be around if you ever want to vent.. lord knows i have

 

[tkim]

Hi,

Proud but nervous papa of a three-week old boy. About to move in five days from MA to CA, and start med school in less than a month.

These past few weeks have been very difficult, and I'm beginning to wonder if it can work. My son, like all newborns, is very demanding and has no set schedule. I'm worried that if it's like this in a month, I am doomed.

It's nice to hear about others who have already been through this hump!

- Tae

 

[MSV MD 2B]

Hi tae, congratulations! it does get better after about 6 weeks. if you are lucky, your sone will be sleeping through the night. my son was sleeping 6 hours by then. and then, no offense but even though your sleep will be a little distrubed, unless your son is bottle feeding, chances are you aren't the one waking up with him at night. my husband did get up to change diapers though. at least from what i hear in medical school, classes are flexible for the frist 2 years so you can sleep in when you need to. I rememebr studying for the mcat before my son was sleeping at elats 6 hours and i would put him in his swing next to my desk. eventually he would go to sleep. my husband was back to work so he was able to get some sleep this way. you'll come out fo the newborn haze soon adn he will be walking aroudn getting into everything before you know it!

Vanessa

 

[beanbean]

Hi! I hadn't seen this thread until tonight and its nice to hear from the other members who are " in the family way".

I will be starting as an MS1 this August. My husband and I have to daughters who will be 5 and 7 in October. We thought the big thing happening in our lives this year was me starting medical school - but surprise! I am expecting a baby boy in September!! This will certainly make my first year a challenge. Fortunately, my school is being extremely supportive! They have given me contact info for a student who had a baby early in her first year a couple of years ago and are helping me to arrange my clinicals location to be a convenient commute. It won't be easy, but unless I have complications with myself or the baby, I am planning on going ahead with my first year.

Right now it very late and I am trying to get two kids out of the shower and into bed. My youngest daughter is not yet 5, but appears to already get PMS! Fortunately, my husband is home and not travelling for business (something he has to do quite frequently). He has always been a hands-on supportive father and husband; for that I am very grateful. The next years will be stressful, but I am very excited.

Good luck to all of us!

 

[MSV MD 2B]

Hey bean, have you seen the site www.mommd.com. It's a great resource for mothers.

 

[jeffk13057]

Hi guys...

I am Jeff, from Syracuse (go orange)
40 year old PA who just had a major brain fart and decided to go to med school...work in surgery at a local hospital.

Am starting back to take prereqs at a local college...starting out as a junior.

I have 2 little beautiful kids, a boy and girl, ages 7 and 16 months. They are really a good bunch. I have the best wife, too. The most supportive lady in the world, behind me 100%.

I had originally planned to go overseas but in retrospect, my mom is not very healthy and my 90 year old grandfather lives w/ us.

So, I'll be sweating the prereqs at my tender young age with all of you young whippersnappers.

Good luck, hope to hear from you soon.

JK:

 

[MSV MD 2B]

hey jeff, are 16 month olds fun? my 17.5 month old has been in what seems to be the terrible twos for over a month now. you have to keep an eye on them.

 

[jeffk13057]

It is amazing the difference, seen as early as at birth, between boys and girls...you can really tell the difference, even if you didn't know which was which. I think Jeremy has had the terrible twos since he was 6 months.

 

[pathdr2b]

Originally posted by jeffk13057
I think Jeremy has had the terrible twos since he was 6 months.

 

[agent]

Originally posted by MSV MD 2B
hey jeff, are 16 month olds fun? my 17.5 month old has been in what seems to be the terrible twos for over a month now. you have to keep an eye on them.

I have an 18 month old, (and a 3 month old) boy do I know!

Welcome all the new posters

 

[jenni4476]

Hey I know some of you guys from the Under M1 thread, and tae from OPM (congrats on the baby and your acceptance!)

I'm 27, married for the 2nd time, with 2 kids ages 7 & 9 from my first marraige. Just starting undergrad now (I had 2 years in accounting previously but none of those credits count anymore other than gen ed). I've been a SAHM since April 16, 2002, I had enough of accounting after tax season last year and quit. It's been nice being with the kids but darn, I have no life now!

I remember what it was like when I went to school the first time, my kids were really little then and I had to work since it was right after my divorce, and I'm about to find out what it's like having older kids while in school and not having to work. So far, I've only taken Intro Psych as a summer course (the last 3 weeks of the kids' school year) so I was able to do all my studying before they got home from school-nothing changed in their life so things went well. Hopefully I'll be able to do the same during the school year, although my husband is taking full-time night classes in addition to working full-time, so we won't see him much Monday-Thursday. I'll have to introduce him to this thread and the spouses section of this site (he's a business administration major).

Thanks agent for starting this thread too-you've got some darn good ideas!

 

[MSV MD 2B]

Hi Jenni! Have you been to mommd yet? there are some good resources there. I was thinking that older children migth be easier since they are a little bit more independent but then i thought that maybe not since you have homework, the project, extracurricular acitvities, school events and they probably go to bed later. so really it's not easier at all. it is still possible though. good luck with everything!

 

[pathdr2b]

Originally posted by MSV MD 2B
I was thinking that older children migth be easier since they are a little bit more independent but then i thought that maybe not since you have homework, the project, extracurricular acitvities, school events and they probably go to bed later. so really it's not easier at all.

I've been giving this idea a lot of thought lately especially as I consider remarrieage in my near future and possibly more children too.

I think the reason my daughter was "harder" when she was 2-4 years old is because I was not in a happy marraige at the time and was balancing raising her by myself (after the seperation when she was 2) with graduate studies.

Now that she's 6 years old (about to be seven) she does have more responsibility like homework and light chores around the house but she actually goes to bed earlier (8:00PM) than she did before. I think this is crucial even on the nights when we get home at 7:00PM (homework gets passed on to the next night). I'll have a night classes 2 nights per week, so on those nights she'll go to bed at 9:00PM ( I'll get home at around 8:20 and we'll have to take the sitter back home). One of her activites is scheduled right after school ends at 3:05 , 2 days a week and the other is on Saturday mornings. I learned the hard way last year to keep those 5-7:00 PM activities OFF the schedule!

Finally, I think the key to making all this work out is to have a schedule during the week and stick to it.