The "college experience" thought messing with my head and now my grades.....

[Pwny]

Because that stuff is awesome!



I mean I don't disagree with anything you're saying, I'm just not sure why you feel that having a good time in college is somehow mutually exclusive with getting into medical school.

I also don't see the connection between wanting to have a nice "college experience" and being clingy, desperate, and clingy.

Oh, I don't think they are mutually exclusive. My rationale is, if OP is having these issues right now, it may be even worse for him in the future (albeit he won't be in college anymore), especially with the demands of a career in medicine. I do think you can still have a good college experience while having aspirations to go to medical school, but I also feel you have to make the compromises in your life to make sure medical school actually happens. I guess it all comes down to the "balancing" most people have already brought up in this thread.

The second portion of my comment was to give advice on what girls like/dislike in guys, something OP can use to his advantage if he wants to put himself out there and land a girl.

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[HobbitJane]

There's nothing wrong with being a monk lol. I guess I am just accustomed to a life without "enjoyment", so I am not a slave to the flesh. In all seriousness, there are documentaries that show that America is falling behind other nations in science and education. All of the students on this website are supposed to be the future, yet based on the actions of some of these posters, it seems like America is doomed to settle for whatever the media spoon feeds us as the "American Dream" or "College Experience" etc. There are other ways to have fun that do not require alcohol or sex with nasty strangers (looks can be deceiving guys). Imagine if one of those so-called hot sorority girls had HIV or Herpes, and you slept with her and caught it. Let's say every two weeks you sleep with a different girl and spread your disease. Don't you find this gross?

 

[IncognitoGuy]

There's nothing wrong with being a monk lol. I guess I am just accustomed to a life without "enjoyment", so I am not a slave to the flesh. In all seriousness, there are documentaries that show that America is falling behind other nations in science and education. All of the students on this website are supposed to be the future, yet based on the actions of some of these posters, it seems like America is doomed to settle for whatever the media spoon feeds us as the "American Dream" or "College Experience" etc. There are other ways to have fun that do not require alcohol or sex with nasty strangers (looks can be deceiving guys). Imagine if one of those so-called hot sorority girls had HIV or Herpes, and you slept with her and caught it. Let's say every two weeks you sleep with a different girl and spread your disease. Don't you find this gross?

Different strokes for different folks.

 

[HobbitJane]

Different strokes for different folks.

You're right. I set high standards for myself as a pre-health student and I just imagined everyone else was like me. Sorry for making this assumption and I wish all of you the best in your studies. Continue to strive for excellence and learn to live life in balance. Just have in mind that while in your respective field, you must possess the intellect to perform your job without killing someone and be capable of showing compassion for your fellow human being (even if she is not a hot sorority girl lol).

 

[SunsFun]

As a senior at Arizona State with a major in the sciences and a GPA of 3.99, I will give my two cents. I do not feel that the OP has the drive to be a doctor. You sound like a dog in heat trying desperately to h*mp everything in sight prior to graduating and I don't think this is a characteristic a future doctor should have. In order to get into medical school or any other health profession, you have to become an ascetic and jump through hoops of fire to demonstrate your commitment to your future profession. Even though I work, as a freshman my goal was to get straight A's every semester. While my immature dorm mates were drinking, vomiting in the hallways, and spreading STDs, I was pulling all-nighters at the library because I understood the importance of living life in moderation and prolonging gratification. I am proud to say that I am a nerd, but at least I'll have a prestigious job and comfortable life by my late 20s. Why can't you just go out to the bars or clubs a couple of times a month, find some intellectual hobbies, and form a monogamous relationship with a respectable girl? Why does American college culture have such an emphasis on excess and hedonism?

Is there a hidden Zyzz reference somewhere in this post?

 

[SunsFun]

You're right. I set high standards for myself as a pre-health student and I just imagined everyone else was like me. Sorry for making this assumption and I wish all of you the best in your studies. Continue to strive for excellence and learn to live life in balance. Just have in mind that while in your respective field, you must possess the intellect to perform your job without killing someone and be capable of showing compassion for your fellow human being (even if she is not a hot sorority girl lol).

Those are "your" standards that frankly have nothing to do with being a good physician.

 

[HobbitJane]

Those are "your" standards that frankly have nothing to do with being a good physician.

I acknowledge your point; however I respectfully disagree. Being able to focus on a goal and think critically will take a student very far in their quest to enter medical school. Having a compassionate and kind heart for all people regardless of gender, age, race, socio-economic status, will be useful when dealing with patients. I have taken a route where from August to December and January to May, I am committed to getting straight A's. To ensure the maximum possibility of getting straight A's, I do not party hard on a regular basis or engage in casual sex with strangers. So far, everything has worked well for me and my pre-health comrades. Everyone has their own journey, so do what works for you. I like to sacrifice and push myself to the limit because it makes the A I get at the end of the semester feel so good and I know I am bringing pride to my family. I like working hard for what I want because I live in a society that puts people like me down via stereotypes. My lifestyle is a blatant protest against the status quo and stereotypes.

 

[SunsFun]

I acknowledge your point; however I respectfully disagree. Being able to focus on a goal and think critically will take a student very far in their quest to enter medical school. Having a compassionate and kind heart for all people regardless of gender, age, race, socio-economic status, will be useful when dealing with patients. I have taken a route where from August to December and January to May, I am committed to getting straight A's. To ensure the maximum possibility of getting straight A's, I do not party hard on a regular basis or engage in casual sex with strangers. So far, everything has worked well for me and my pre-health comrades. Everyone has their own journey, so do what works for you. I like to sacrifice and push myself to the limit because it makes the A I get at the end of the semester feel so good and I know I am bringing pride to my family. I like working hard for what I want because I live in a society that puts people like me down via stereotypes. My lifestyle is a blatant protest against the status quo and stereotypes.

What does partying and casual sex in your free time has to do with doing well in school? Some people have great time management skills and are able to get by fine doing both. And where exactly does compassionate heart come in to play here? You show compassion by spending all your time studying to get straight As and feel good about yourself while neglecting the whole socializing part of college? Again I fail to make a link to being successful as a physician.

 

[HobbitJane]

What does partying and casual sex in your free time has to do with doing well in school? Some people have great time management skills and are able to get by fine doing both. And where exactly does compassionate heart come in to play here? You show compassion by spending all your time studying to get straight As and feel good about yourself while neglecting the whole socializing part of college? Again I fail to make a link to being successful as a physician.

In one of my posts I stated the following: "Just have in mind that while in your respective field, you must possess the intellect to perform your job without killing someone and be capable of showing compassion for your fellow human being (even if she is not a hot sorority girl lol)".


Anything in excess will affect academic performance. I could workout 9 hours a day and although this is a healthy behavior, my grades would suffer. If it is truly free time, then why are the OP's grades slipping? If a person parties so hard that they start getting multiple C's, then what is the point of being in college and pursuing medical school? Without a good MCAT score, a competitive GPA, and research how will admissions committees know that you will make a competent medical student and doctor? If pre-med men only value women for their appearance and bodies, how much compassion and maturity does that demonstrate? Apart from studying, I also volunteer at the hospital, so I know a thing or two about compassion and socializing. I feel like I have had a fun college experience even though I did not engage in the stereotypical behavior promoted by the OP. I have gone to concerts, bowling, seen the Lion King, comedians at local venues and danced at Latin and swing clubs. I did all of these activities during the last 4 years because they promote some socializing and do not take my attention away from studying. Just because you go out to a lot of parties does not mean you know how to treat people well.

 

[BlueLabel]

I acknowledge your point; however I respectfully disagree. Being able to focus on a goal and think critically will take a student very far in their quest to enter medical school. Having a compassionate and kind heart for all people regardless of gender, age, race, socio-economic status, will be useful when dealing with patients. I have taken a route where from August to December and January to May, I am committed to getting straight A's. To ensure the maximum possibility of getting straight A's, I do not party hard on a regular basis or engage in casual sex with strangers. So far, everything has worked well for me and my pre-health comrades. Everyone has their own journey, so do what works for you. I like to sacrifice and push myself to the limit because it makes the A I get at the end of the semester feel so good and I know I am bringing pride to my family. I like working hard for what I want because I live in a society that puts people like me down via stereotypes. My lifestyle is a blatant protest against the status quo and stereotypes.

Look what this really comes down to is, as previously posted, "different strokes for different folks". You've found something that works for you, and I'm happy that you're having success in college.

The issue is that I feel like there's an inherent value judgment in your remarks that is baseless and unwarranted. It is of course possible to be "compassionate and kind-hearted", "focus on goals and think critically", and certainly hold people of diverse backgrounds and ethnicities in equal regard and dignity, while still having a good time on the weekends, joining a fraternity, or even climbing into bed with someone every now and then.

In fact, some of us (not to name any names) lived that kind of lifestyle while still putting up the grades, doing well on the MCAT, and yes even getting into medical school.

Your way works for you and that's great. But I see no reason why you would heap all these negative value judgments onto people who took a different path to fundamentally the same objective.

 

[BlueLabel]

Apart from studying, I also volunteer at the hospital, so I know a thing or two about compassion and socializing

Easily one of the top 5 most ridiculous assertions posted to this site in the past week

 

[HobbitJane]

It is of course possible to be "compassionate and kind-hearted", "focus on goals and think critically", and certainly hold people of diverse backgrounds and ethnicities in equal regard and dignity, while still having a good time on the weekends, joining a fraternity, or even climbing into bed with someone every now and then.

Easily one of the top 5 most ridiculous assertions posted to this site in the past week

Ok, that is awesome if someone can party hard and sleep around, but I still feel that moderation is the key. I don't think valuing women just for sex is very compassionate. I also feel that drinking alcohol while neglecting your studies is irresponsible. It might not be the real world just yet, but I would hope that a pre-med student would possess certain values and traits, that's all. If I went for a surgery on a Saturday, I wouldn't want my surgeon to grope me or show up drunk because he needed to have a fun weekend.

As I said: "So far, everything has worked well for me and my pre-health comrades. Everyone has their own journey, so do what works for you". BINGO

I have volunteered at the hospital since my junior year in high school and I have learned a lot from my various experiences. I have worked in patient hospitality, a food bank and in the in-patient pharmacy. I have had to interact with all sorts of people in some of the most solemn, awkward or boring circumstances. Delivering newspapers and toiletries to cancer patients or non-English speakers helps a person mature. SunsFun suggested that I lacked in social skills because I spend the bulk of my time during the school year studying; therefore, I presented an example to disprove his point.

 

[BlueLabel]

Ok, that is awesome if someone can party hard and sleep around, but I still feel that moderation is the key. I don't think valuing women just for sex is very compassionate. I also feel that drinking alcohol while neglecting your studies is irresponsible. It might not be the real world just yet, but I would hope that a pre-med student would possess certain values and traits, that's all. If I went for a surgery on a Saturday, I wouldn't want my surgeon to grope me or show up drunk because he needed to have a fun weekend.

Thanks I thought it was awesome too.

I'm not even going to bother trying to explain a lifestyle or mindset that you refuse to understand, so all I will say is this:

Everyone has to find their own balance; just because my equilibrium wasn't the same as yours in my opinion doesn't mean I don't have what it takes to be a good doctor, and fortunately, the people who matter agreed with me.

 

[sourdoughllama]

Ok, that is awesome if someone can party hard and sleep around, but I still feel that moderation is the key. I don't think valuing women just for sex is very compassionate. I also feel that drinking alcohol while neglecting your studies is irresponsible. It might not be the real world just yet, but I would hope that a pre-med student would possess certain values and traits, that's all. If I went for a surgery on a Saturday, I wouldn't want my surgeon to grope me or show up drunk because he needed to have a fun weekend.

Chillax Just because people aren't monks it doesn't mean they're rapists; and if people can party all night and sleep with 50 people but can do a good job in school or as a doctor, I'm pretty sure most people would be satisfied. Doctor does not equal saint yo

 

[HobbitJane]

Thanks I thought it was awesome too.

I'm not even going to bother trying to explain a lifestyle or mindset that you refuse to understand, so all I will say is this:

Everyone has to find their own balance; just because my equilibrium wasn't the same as yours in my opinion doesn't mean I don't have what it takes to be a good doctor, and fortunately, the people who matter agreed with me.

I think we are saying the same thing but you are not reading my posts. I hold moral values that are obviously not part of your life, and I respect that. I want to not only make it into my professional program, but into heaven, that is why I choose to live a good, clean life. I know when I die, that I made the best decisions that I could and treated everyone with respect.

 

[HobbitJane]

Chillax Just because people aren't monks it doesn't mean they're rapists; and if people can party all night and sleep with 50 people but can do a good job in school or as a doctor, I'm pretty sure most people would be satisfied. Doctor does not equal saint yo

The original poster is failing, so obviously this party all day, everyday attitude and lifestyle is not working for him. Please read the posts over again, then you will realize what I meant. Reading is fundamental.

 

[BlueLabel]

I think we are saying the same thing but you are not reading my posts. I hold moral values that are obviously not part of your life, and I respect that. I want to not only make it into my professional program, but into heaven, that is why I choose to live a good, clean life. I know when I die, that I made the best decisions that I could and treated everyone with respect.

That's cool but you can go ahead and keep these opinions that you admit are strictly relevant within the perspective of your personal view of your religion out of the realm of relevant advice for people just trying to get into med school. Thanks.

I find that disgusting, I hope who ever does that doesn't get AIDS. The original poster is failing, so obviously this is not working for him. Please read the posts over again, then you will realize what I meant.

It's hilarious how many times you edited your post before settling on the final version. As it stands it's bad enough but the original thing you posted, which I WON'T repeat out of respect to you, demonstrates not only your lack of appreciation for irony, wit, humor, or basic English syntax, but also the rashness with which you rush to judge others. I really hope you take a step back and reevaluate, I think it could make a difference for your chances of admission and success later in life.

 

[KnuxNole]

In one of my posts I stated the following: "Just have in mind that while in your respective field, you must possess the intellect to perform your job without killing someone and be capable of showing compassion for your fellow human being (even if she is not a hot sorority girl lol)".


Anything in excess will affect academic performance. I could workout 9 hours a day and although this is a healthy behavior, my grades would suffer. If it is truly free time, then why are the OP's grades slipping? If a person parties so hard that they start getting multiple C's, then what is the point of being in college and pursuing medical school? Without a good MCAT score, a competitive GPA, and research how will admissions committees know that you will make a competent medical student and doctor? If pre-med men only value women for their appearance and bodies, how much compassion and maturity does that demonstrate? Apart from studying, I also volunteer at the hospital, so I know a thing or two about compassion and socializing. I feel like I have had a fun college experience even though I did not engage in the stereotypical behavior promoted by the OP. I have gone to concerts, bowling, seen the Lion King, comedians at local venues and danced at Latin and swing clubs. I did all of these activities during the last 4 years because they promote some socializing and do not take my attention away from studying. Just because you go out to a lot of parties does not mean you know how to treat people well.

There are men in medicine who "only value women for appearance and bodies" while having compassion for others and tons of maturity. They are just thirsty and like attractive people

Also there is this awesome invention known as the condom. It's a great way to not get HIV, Gonorrhea, Trich, and most importantly, a baby!

 

[BlueLabel]

HobbitJane edited her post AGAIN after what I quoted above, I kinda wish I had quoted each one so we could savor all of her rough drafts.

 

[HobbitJane]

That's cool but you can go ahead and keep these opinions that you admit are strictly relevant within the perspective of your personal view of your religion out of the realm of relevant advice for people just trying to get into med school. Thanks.


It's hilarious how many times you edited your post before settling on the final version. As it stands it's bad enough but the original thing you posted, which I WON'T repeat out of respect to you, demonstrates not only your lack of appreciation for irony, wit, humor, or basic English syntax, but also the rashness with which you rush to judge others. I really hope you take a step back and reevaluate, I think it could make a difference for your chances of admission and success later in life.

I decided that I didn't want to assume the poster engaged in that behavior, so I decided to edit the post until I felt that it would not cause offense, that is all. I am trying to multitask right now and finish this conversation. You are being quite mean for no reason.

 

[HobbitJane]

I'll be admitted...

 

[SunsFun]

I never said that being a monk was a prerequisite to gaining admission into medical school. I find the bold statement disgusting, I hope whoever does that doesn't get AIDS. The original poster is failing, so obviously this party all day, everyday attitude and lifestyle is not working for him. Please read the posts over again, then you will realize what I meant. Reading is fundamental, especially if you want to be a doctor lol.

After you started making blanket statements about right/wrong and good/bad behavior the conversation moved past OP's case.
Finding someone else's behavior disgusting makes you come across as judgmental. You speak of compassion for people but then express views in odds with this concept. Some of your patients are likely to be people who chose to engage in a promiscuous lifestyle. You should respect their right to decide what is good for them. Why do you assume that men who enjoy to have sexual relationships without any serious commitments are some less than human shallow dogs? I am happy that you're lifestyle works for you but please don't try to say that drinking or having sex outside of marriage/relationship is something that disqualifies the rest of us from pursuing medicine.

 

[BlueLabel]

I decided that I didn't want to assume the poster engaged in that behavior, so I decided to edit the post until I felt that it would not cause offense, that is all. I am trying to multitask right now and finish this conversation. You are being quite mean for no reason.

Oh I think there's a very obvious reason.

By the way, I have a 3.99, I'll be admitted...

The Greeks had a word for this: hubris

Maybe this is relevant to some of the other points I've been making here... hm...

 

[solitarius]

okay... so your SDN handle is cute. Are you pre-pharm?

If it is truly free time, then why are the OP's grades slipping? If a person parties so hard that they start getting multiple C's, then what is the point of being in college and pursuing medical school?

And everybody here is telling OP he has gone overboard in his expectations, actions, and attitude. Nothing new here.

If pre-med men only value women for their appearance and bodies, how much compassion and maturity does that demonstrate?

Men are biologically wired to value a woman's appearance. Just so happens, those woman tend to have high social value, which forms a feedback loop.

Btw, OP has posted about this topic too many times on SDN. What we have been trying to tell him is that you can't get those types of girls easily or by objectifying them. He is finding that out the hard way.

Just because you go out to a lot of parties does not mean you know how to treat people well.

You mentioned above that people look down on your "nerd" lifestyle, yet your response on here is to attack a lifestyle that you don't agree with. Ironically, you advocate understanding & compassion.

I find the bold statement disgusting, I hope whoever does that doesn't get AIDS.

I guess this is where you should prolly put your plug in for condoms & safe sex?

 

[SunsFun]

I think we are saying the same thing but you are not reading my posts. I hold moral values that are obviously not part of your life, and I respect that. I want to not only make it into my professional program, but into heaven, that is why I choose to live a good, clean life. I know when I die, that I made the best decisions that I could and treated everyone with respect.

Yours is not the only morality out there. People have different views on right and wrong, good and evil, etc. See what really bothers me about your position is that you're coming across as convinced that somebody living their life differently is living a bad, dirty life.

 

[HobbitJane]

After you started making blanket statements about right/wrong and good/bad behavior the conversation moved past OP's case.
Finding someone else's behavior disgusting makes you come across as judgmental. You speak of compassion for people but then express views in odds with this concept. Some of your patients are likely to be people who chose to engage in a promiscuous lifestyle. You should respect their right to decide what is good for them. Why do you assume that men who enjoy to have sexual relationships without any serious commitments are some less than human shallow dogs? I am happy that you're lifestyle works for you but please don't try to say that drinking or having sex outside of marriage/relationship is something that disqualifies the rest of us from pursuing medicine.

I never said that, do not place words in my mouth. I said if drinking and sex is all the OP lives for at university, to the point that his grades suffer, then honestly he doesn't appear to have the drive necessary to be a doctor. I believe in common sense and I practice this in my personal life. In my professional life, I will attend to every patient regardless of my personal beliefs. If a person wants to sleep with 50 people and he or she comes crying to me about getting their retro-viral medications for free or donating to their cause, I will wish them the best, but I will not sit back and pretend that such behavior is normal or acceptable if asked to give my opinion as a civilian. On the job, I will keep my views to myself even if asked to express them, because I know that some people cannot handle frank statements. I think promiscuity is irresponsible because it leads to the breakdown of society, STDs and unwanted pregnancies. There are people who do it and they come out without negative consequences, but I would rather not take the risk. I'm so sorry for living a virtuous life and assuming that some other pre-health students do so as well. Just because I don't give a trophy to everyone who behaves badly (in my opinion), does not mean that I am not compassionate. I care a lot about people who have come from nothing and picked themselves up by the bootstraps to work hard in life despite adversity. On the other hand, I do not like hearing about spoiled children who grow up in a society that places them on a pedestal, yet act like wild animals at university but no one calls them out on it.

 

[BlueLabel]

I never said that, do not place words in my mouth. I said if drinking and sex is all the OP lives for at university, to the point that his grades suffer, then honestly he doesn't appear to have the drive necessary to be a doctor. I believe in common sense and I practice this in my personal life. In my professional life, I will attend to every patient regardless of my personal beliefs. If a person wants to sleep with 50 people and he or she comes crying to me about getting their retro-viral medications for free or donating to their cause, I will wish them the best, but I will not sit back and pretend that such behavior is normal or acceptable if asked to give my opinion as a civilian. On the job, I will keep my views to myself even if asked to express them, because I know that some people cannot handle frank statements. I think promiscuity is irresponsible because it leads to the breakdown of society, STDs and unwanted pregnancies. There are people who do it and they come out without negative consequences, but I would rather not take the risk. I'm so sorry for living a virtuous life and assuming that some other pre-health students do so as well. Just because I don't give a trophy to everyone who behaves badly (in my opinion), does not mean that I am not compassionate. I care a lot about people who have come from nothing and picked themselves up by the bootstraps to work hard in life despite adversity. On the other hand, I do not like hearing about spoiled children who grow up in a society that places them on a pedestal, yet act like wild animals at university but no one calls them out on it.

Lol okay we get it, can you please go away now?

 

[SunsFun]

I never said that, do not place words in my mouth. I said if drinking and sex is all the OP lives for at university, to the point that his grades suffer, then honestly he doesn't appear to have the drive necessary to be a doctor. I believe in common sense and I practice this in my personal life. In my professional life, I will attend to every patient regardless of my personal beliefs. If a person wants to sleep with 50 people and he or she comes crying to me about getting their retro-viral medications for free or donating to their cause, I will wish them the best, but I will not sit back and pretend that such behavior is normal or acceptable if asked to give my opinion as a civilian. On the job, I will keep my views to myself even if asked to express them, because I know that some people cannot handle frank statements. I think promiscuity is irresponsible because it leads to the breakdown of society, STDs and unwanted pregnancies. There are people who do it and they come out without negative consequences, but I would rather not take the risk. I'm so sorry for living a virtuous life and assuming that some other pre-health students do so as well. Just because I don't give a trophy to everyone who behaves badly (in my opinion), does not mean that I am not compassionate. I care a lot about people who have come from nothing and picked themselves up by the bootstraps to work hard in life despite adversity. On the other hand, I do not like hearing about spoiled children who grow up in a society that places them on a pedestal, yet act like wild animals at university but no one calls them out on it.

Okay you win! Sleeping around is bad. There is no other way to look at it. Period. I give up. I am just quoting this for posterity. I'd wish you luck in getting in but from your previous response it seems like you don't really need it.

 

[HobbitJane]

Oh I think there's a very obvious reason.

The Greeks had a word for this: hubris

Maybe this is relevant to some of the other points I've been making here... hm...

I studied Greek tragedies in 11th grade and don't have a problem with pride. I am actually quite humble, but you suggested that I take your advice if I want to be admitted and have success later on in life. I have been a pre-health student for four years, I have gotten the grades, awesome score on my entrance exam, volunteer work, ECs, and letters of recommendation. I have done my part, so I am optimistic about getting admitted into the program of my choice. I just happen to hold beliefs that are different than the mainstream. Now that I know that you guys are not Christians, yet most of you celebrate Christmas lol, I will no longer offer my advice without providing a warning about my views.

 

[HobbitJane]

Lol okay we get it, can you please go away now?

You are a very rude person.

 

[SunsFun]

I studied Greek tragedies in 11th grade and don't have a problem with pride sweetheart. I am actually quite humble, but you suggested that I take your advice if I want to be admitted and have success later on in life. For once in my life, I stood up for myself and gave a confident, borderline cocky response. Please, I have been a pre-health student for four years, I have gotten the grades, awesome score on my entrance exam, volunteer work, ECs, and letters of recommendation. I have done my part, so I am optimistic about getting admitted into the program of my choice. I just happen to hold beliefs that are different than the mainstream. Now that I know that you guys are not Christians, yet most of you celebrate Christmas lol, I will no longer offer my advice without providing a warning about my wholesome views.

Sweetheart? In this context this a little beyond borderline cocky. I don't understand why you're so aggressive like its me against the world. A little compassion and understanding to your fellow premeds will go a long way.

 

[HobbitJane]

Okay you win! Sleeping around is bad. There is no other way to look at it. Period. I give up. I am just quoting this for posterity. I'd wish you luck in getting in but from your previous response it seems like you don't really need it.

I was never trying to win. I just offered advice on balance and common sense from an alternative view. I'm sorry that my answer was not liberal enough for everyone but this is still America and I can speak freely as long as it does not incite racial or sexual violence on anyone. You and your buddy could have saved energy and actually read my posts instead or skimming through and jumping to conclusions. I agree to disagree. In my heart, I could never respect a proud alcoholic or promiscuous man or woman who wasted their time at college, but I will still honor my professional duties. Do as you please, but please don't be mean and treat girls right.

 

[BlueLabel]

You are a very rude person.

Merry Christmas, Jane. I sincerely hope you have a happy and blessed new year.

 

[HobbitJane]

Sweetheart? In this context this a little beyond borderline cocky. I don't understand why you're so aggressive like its me against the world. A little compassion and understanding to your fellow premeds will go a long way.

Why should I have compassion for people who's lives are filled with never-ending fun and excitement, people who have never had to deal with bullying and isolation throughout school and college. There were grades where I did not have a name, I was just [insert racial epithet here]. I would eat alone and spend lunchtime in the bathroom so people wouldn't make fun of me for not having any friends. Everything I do gets judged and no matter how hard I try to be perfect, I always get stereotyped and I am sick and tired of it. Meanwhile, you are your privileged little friends get to drink, smoke, be in fraternities, and hook up or find love, and nobody stereotypes you. You don't realize how hard it is to have my life. I take my faith seriously because I know that even though my life sucks, maybe Heaven will make up for all the crap I have had to put up with.

 

[HobbitJane]

I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn't have enough time to switch to the pre-med track. Those of you who are fortunate enough to still have this opportunity, don't waste it because of ephemeral pleasure. Good bye.

 

[MDOnlyWillDo]

Holy cow, someone is dying for that martyr label. Here, let me it award it to you so you'll have to climb off your high horse to accept it down here with us dredges of society.

 

[BlueLabel]

You and your privileged little friends get to drink, smoke, be in fraternities, and hook up or find love, and nobody stereotypes you.

Darn skippy and don't you forget it

 

[touchpause13]

You're right. I set high standards for myself as a pre-health student and I just imagined everyone else was like me. Sorry for making this assumption and I wish all of you the best in your studies. Continue to strive for excellence and learn to live life in balance. Just have in mind that while in your respective field, you must possess the intellect to perform your job without killing someone and be capable of showing compassion for your fellow human being (even if she is not a hot sorority girl lol).

I'm really not a fan of all the hate towards hot sorority girls.

*offended*

 

[BlueLabel]

I'm really not a fan of all the hate towards hot sorority girls.

*offended*

:swoon:

 

[KnuxNole]

I show love towards cute frat boys <3

 

[BlueLabel]

I show love towards cute frat boys <3

.......lol

 

[BurberryDoc]

I have some thoughts to share with the OP that perhaps go against the grain, but are a very real reflection of my college experience.

Fratted it up for 3 years.
Chased crazy amounts of women.
Bombed a bunch of exams.
I went to an Ivy, and alot of my friends who did very well, have only negative associations with the University and do not plan on returning for reunion. I earned a 3.3, and I have only fond memories from college. I took a few years off after graduation, continued to enjoy life while repairing the damage - now I'll be matriculting at one of my top choice medical schools.

I do not recommend you party your @$$ off for the rest of your college days like I had, but if you cut loose a little too much, it is something you can bounce back from, for certain.

 

[HobbitJane]

I'm really not a fan of all the hate towards hot sorority girls.

*offended*

Sorry that you took offense. It just annoys me to live in a society where appearance determines your social status. I guess facing this harsh fact is part of becoming an adult. I am coming to grips with the fact that sometimes life just sucks for certain people and there is nothing we can do about it other than slap a fake smile on and get on with our lives. Cheers.

 

[zeppelinpage4]

I've seen a few very similar threads to this one that you've started in the past couple months. For your own well being, you need to stop doing this - and I mean that in the nicest way possible. There is no magic piece of advice that I or anyone else on SDN can give you to improve your social skills on a fundamental level.

Here are three things to accept:
1. You can have a social life as a premed. Thousands of people do it. If you go in with the mindset that it is impossible, you'll have no hope of finding the balance that works for you.
2. Your social life will not end after college. It will probably change a little bit, but that's not a bad thing at all. A 26 year old's social life SHOULD be different from that of an 18 year old.
3. Your success with women has nothing to do with being in college. If you have game as an undergrad, you'll continue to have game after you graduate. Simple as that.

Instead of posting on the internet about things not going your way socially, get out there and try to do better!

+1

Before the grades came out for my current semester I had around a 3.7 GPA, it dropped 0.2 points because of something that had been messing with my head and it is now messing with my academics. I made my first really bad grade in college (D) in a major science course.

Throughout the past semester I went out more than usual, I partied more, and I spent a lot of time trying to live the "college experience" rather than focusing on my academics.

Here is the reason why.

Starting out in college I didn't go away, I stayed at a university my parents picked for me with a bad party scene but great academics. Ended up getting good grades. Then money ran short and I had to transfer to a state university with a great party scene.

Throughout my life I was never the party kind of kid, I was the studious geek who rarely went out and did more reading and studying throughout his teens rather than partying or socializing. I was this way early on through college as well.

Then I started hearing the message everywhere.

"College is the last time you will be partying"
"College girls are so wild man, you will never meet girls like these again"
"Come party with us, it doesn't get any easier than college"
"Look man this is the time you are supposed to get wild and let loose, the real world is a horror story"

I started believing it after people told it to me and I read it everywhere. I feared that if I don't let the wild side of me out in college, I will never let it out.

In the real world everyone is getting married, wild parties are hard to find, one night stands and casual sex rarely happen because it is all about relationships, attractive women (which my college has tons of) are very hard to find and have much higher standards, and all of that stuff occupied my head.

This resulted in me partying more and feeling like I have to make up for lost time and even after the hit to my GPA it is still messing with my head. Like I never had the chance to be a wild teenager or the wild college kid and now I feel the need to make up for lost time before I hit the real world.

Is there really any fix to this that I can seek?

I almost went the opposite direction. I avoided a lot of parties and experiences to just focus on academics my first two years in college. Fast forward to med school....I ended up not focusing and partying or jsut lazying around more and my grades are now showing that.
So what's the point of me saying all this? I guess it just comes down to balance. Work hard, play hard I suppose. In college, I only focused on work and missed out on some experiences, and in med school so far, I only focused on socializing and trying to recreate the crazy/fun freshman year I didn't have, and that resulted in me not performing to my potential. It's not easy to do, but try to find a happy medium. You can set a strict amount of time aside for studying and make sure to give it your all, and as a reward go to parties on weekends. This will also help prevent you from burning out, which can happen if you study too much and have nothing else to do. You can do well in school and still get the college experience. You may not be getting smashed on weekdays or doing really crazy things, but you can make good friends, meet girls and have some awesome experiences while still managing a reasonable course load.

Edit:
Also, an interesting note, but two of my classmates who partied in undergrad a lot and took time off before applying are now some of the strongest student in my class. Maybe there is something to be said about getting this stuff out of your system haha. But really, shoot for balance if you can.

Also if it makes you feel a little better, at least from my experience, med school can be like another variation of college...at least the first year or two. There's a lot more work and studying, but you get to socialize and hang out with classmates, there are post exam after parties, and many students can participate in med school and undergrad clubs. Really, if you go to med school, you're not getting kicked out into the real world, you're going to similar but more academically intense version of college. There's less partying and craziness, and more work, but med school bears some similarities I think.

 

[BundleofHis]

OP, Have you applied to med school yet? I'm a girl (Idk if that matters...) but I did not party for my first 3 years of college. I was very driven and didn't want to get distracted. I then received my first acceptance in October and my social life has changed quite drastically since.
I'm still making straight As, but the pressure is off. Maybe you can experience "the college lifestyle" post acceptance?

 

[911 Turbo]

There's nothing wrong with being a monk lol. I guess I am just accustomed to a life without "enjoyment", so I am not a slave to the flesh. In all seriousness, there are documentaries that show that America is falling behind other nations in science and education. All of the students on this website are supposed to be the future, yet based on the actions of some of these posters, it seems like America is doomed to settle for whatever the media spoon feeds us as the "American Dream" or "College Experience" etc. There are other ways to have fun that do not require alcohol or sex with nasty strangers (looks can be deceiving guys). Imagine if one of those so-called hot sorority girls had HIV or Herpes, and you slept with her and caught it. Let's say every two weeks you sleep with a different girl and spread your disease. Don't you find this gross?

would contract HIV to sleep with a 10/10 hbb sorority girl crew

 

[BurberryDoc]

Somebody's been reading too much TFM

(that website sucks by the way and absolutely reeks of image-crafting, try-hard, and desperation)


***this is my moment***

The #1 secret to mastering Tinder is skillful deployment of the brunch questions. Girls love talking about brunch. This is the ultimate key to success in talking to women on Tinder. A couple of quick Tinder examples:

Remember: when in doubt, rely on the brunch questions. Now, go forth and speak no more of your inability to talk to women.

I am going to try out this brunch-chat maneuver. The only girls that are buying what I am selling on tinder seem to be of the manatee persuasion..

 

[BurberryDoc]

OP, Have you applied to med school yet? I'm a girl (Idk if that matters...) but I did not party for my first 3 years of college. I was very driven and didn't want to get distracted. I then received my first acceptance in October and my social life has changed quite drastically since.
I'm still making straight As, but the pressure is off. Maybe you can experience "the college lifestyle" post acceptance?

@BundleofHis
We should party our @$$es off together sometime

 

[911 Turbo]

Why should I have compassion for people who's lives are filled with never-ending fun and excitement, people who have never had to deal with bullying and isolation throughout school and college. There were grades where I did not have a name, I was just [insert racial epithet here]. I would eat alone and spend lunchtime in the bathroom so people wouldn't make fun of me for not having any friends. Everything I do gets judged and no matter how hard I try to be perfect, I always get stereotyped and I am sick and tired of it. Meanwhile, you are your privileged little friends get to drink, smoke, be in fraternities, and hook up or find love, and nobody stereotypes you. You don't realize how hard it is to have my life. I want to kill myself sometimes, but I am still here, hoping that getting into my professional program will be my ticket out from being the child of a poor immigrant. I take my faith seriously because I know that even though my life sucks, maybe Heaven will make up for all the crap I have had to put up with.

"we're all going to make it"
- Aziz Shavershian



no but really you should get some help if you have those feelings

 

[SunsFun]

Why should I have compassion for people who's lives are filled with never-ending fun and excitement, people who have never had to deal with bullying and isolation throughout school and college. There were grades where I did not have a name, I was just [insert racial epithet here]. I would eat alone and spend lunchtime in the bathroom so people wouldn't make fun of me for not having any friends. Everything I do gets judged and no matter how hard I try to be perfect, I always get stereotyped and I am sick and tired of it. Meanwhile, you are your privileged little friends get to drink, smoke, be in fraternities, and hook up or find love, and nobody stereotypes you. You don't realize how hard it is to have my life. I want to kill myself sometimes, but I am still here, hoping that getting into my professional program will be my ticket out from being the child of a poor immigrant. I take my faith seriously because I know that even though my life sucks, maybe Heaven will make up for all the crap I have had to put up with.

Sorry apparently I missed this post. I am very sorry you feel this way about your life but this anger you have towards others in different circumstances seems to be causing all kind depressing thoughts for you. If this is an ongoing problem that has been with you for years, I urge you to find someone to talk to about it. Your school should provide counseling and this would be a good place to start.

Let me tell you something about myself. I am not just a child of immigrants from overseas, I am one. I also felt at odds with my American peers for the first several years. I think it is called culture shock. But eventually I pulled it up and became more or less content with my situation. Most people, even those who end up with lost limbs or paralyzed, find a way to cope with their situation. Not to say it is unimportant to have a discussion about racial stereotypes and attraction standards in America, but to define yourself through these narrow lenses will not make you happy. I am glad you're focusing on school but IMO you should also find a way to be happy with your life outside of it.

Lastly, nobody's life is perfect. People put on a show to make it seem so but we all have our own struggles.