really though -- I don't think I'd hate myself nearly as much if I wasn't told I was fat (or lazy, or worthless) for my entire life. I always assume people are looking at me and judging me, because if my mom does it, why wouldn't everyone else? it's only gotten worse as I've gotten old, too (I think people's self esteem improves as they age in general(?), but not in my case). it's destroyed relationships, and now it prevents relationships from even forming (I developed social anxiety too, woo). it's so hard to reverse this stuff.
sorry, that got depressing really quickly, but I felt like sharing.