Those going to med school attached

[Dr. Kermit]

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Hi guys-

I need some advice from others who are about to go off to med school while still involved in a relationship. To make a long story short, during my senior year in college, my boyfriend applied to law school and is currently in Philadelphia. I did horribly on the April 2000 MCAT and decided to retake the test in August and wait a year to apply because I knew that I had the chance to do well my senior year. I was accepted pretty early on to two schools in Philly (both not ranked, although that shouldn't matter too much.) However, I had also interviewed at a couple of schools in NYC. Well, last week I was offered an acceptance to Einstein and now I'm really torn over where I want to go to med school.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years and we've made it through many transitions, so we know we can survive my going to med school. However, I'm faced with the decision of going to med school in Philly where I'll be with him for two years and then he'll most likely take a job in NYC or go to NYC where I can at least establish a connection with the hospitals there and be with him the last two years.

Right now, I'm basically debating b/w Temple and Einstein. I absolutely loved Temple when I first interviewed there and I have a best friend from college who is currently a MS-1. I hear both the good and bad aspects of the school. (Lot of classroom time the first two years, solid clinical training, outdated facilities, but accessibility to Temple UGrad, etc.) However, I really like Einstein too and the cons of Einstein may outweigh the pros of Temple. (The one nice thing is I would save about 7K/year and as I wish to pursue a MPH eventually, that cost could pay for my advanced degree.)

So, I really don't know what to do! Sorry for rambling, just needed some advice. Thanks!

 

[coop]

i am going to med school attached, but my situation is very different than yours. It sounds like you will be with your boyfriend for 2/4 years either way. Since this is the case I think you should pick the school/location you like better. If you want to be in NY and liked Einstein, then go for it. Philly is only a 2hr drive. On the other hand you'll probably have more time as an MS1 and MS2, and thus picking Temple would maximize time spend with your boyfriend. best of luck with your decision

 

[quake]

I'm probably the worst person to advice you right now given that I am in a very rocky relationship right now. I am very disenchanted with women right now. Okay that came out bad, but still, why do some people say they love you but act in ways that are contrary to love. Anyways, at this point, I'll just say take your bf out of the equation and make the decision solely based on what you want. Since you are going to be with him for 2 years anyways it really shouldn't matter. Personally, don't risk being far away from him during the two years you might need to concentrate most. trust me long distance relationships can really suck if you need to focus on other stuff. Ok I sound very lond winded but I have a point, do I?
Oh well... <img src="confused.gif" border="0">

 

[Doctor Wyldstyle]

Yep, based on what I've seen with friends and in my own class, I wouldn't base your decision on a significant other unless you're engaged with a set date to marry. Otherwise, nothing is concrete in med and you'd be better off with the least amount of strings attached. Good luck.

 

[applying]

Although AECOM gave me no love, i still think its a great school. don't get me wrong, Temple is also a very good school and you would be getting a great education, but AECOM has many unbeatable aspects....namely its in NYC. thats just my personal option. If you make it in NYC, you can make it anywhere!

also, the whole b/f thing. i'm also attached, so i can kind of relate. If your b/f is thinking of moving to NYC after he graduates from law school, i think thats perfect! you get a chance to settle in and really concentrate on doing well your first two years at AECOM and you can always visit him....philly is two hours away from NYC,tops.

anyway, thats my two cents. regardless of where you choose to go, good luck and congrats!!!

 

[Dr.G]

Dr. Kermit I also have relationship issues. By boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and we plan to get married eventually. He is in his first of graduate school at Duke- and will be there for 4 or 5 more years because he is getting his phD. My top three choices for med school are UPENN, Duke and U. Washington in St. Louis. I have been accepted to Washington but have to wait utill March to here from Duke and UPENN. I know they are both great schools but UPENN is definetly more my style- and I think it would be better for the field I want to go into (pediatric oncology). If I get into both schools I'm not sure what I will do. I really don't want to ruin this relationship.
But I did decide that it is important for me to go to the best medical school I can-so if I don't get into Duke or UPENN I will go to Washington over Wake Forest (which is about an hour away from Duke).

 

[lilycat]

I know it's hard to do, but try to take your boyfriend out of the equation and go to the place you like best/think you will be happiest with. If you choose based on him, and for some reason things don't work out, you may be very bitter about your choice and your experience at the school. If you choose based on your needs and what you want, you avoid that scenario. It may seem unthinkable now, but after all the work you've put into this process, it's only fair to consider that possibility.

That being said, if you're already leaning towards Einstein and since your boyfriend wants to move there and get a job there in 2 years anyways, that plan seems like it would be perfect.

By the way, are you totally sure that Temple would allow you to spend all of your clinical years elsewhere? Most schools usually require that your core rotations (ie, 3rd year) are done at the school, and then are more flexible for 4th year (ie, you can get credit for at least 3 month-long away rotations, etc.).

 

[megkudos]

Just remember that you can achieve your goals at either school if you work for it.

In your post you said "I loved Temple" and "I really liked Einstein"

It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself that you should go to Einstein for whatever reasons you posted, even though your heart may not be in it.

I understand what the other posters are saying about making your decision based on what YOU want. But I do think it is valid to take into consideration that you will have a lot of support at Temple including your best friend and your boyfriend. You don't have to totally disregard them, just put them in as a part of the equation.

One thing I will say though, I honestly think that though Einstein may have some things over Temple, you will get a great education at both and you will be able to pursue pediatric oncology at both. Remember what everyone always told us about getting to med school--if you want something bad enough you can do it if you put in the work . Both schools have the advantage of being in urban areas also--philly vs. the bronx.

Well these are just my thoughts, I don't mean to sway you one way or the other. Imagine yourself at each school next year and the years to follow. Where do you feel happiest?

Best of luck to you.

 

[EMDrMoe]

I wholeheartedly agree with coop, lilycat and megkudos. I can identify with megkudos' comment about where you can picture yourself happier. Your support system will be VERY important. Prior to applying, I felt that MCO was the right school for me, regardless of its lack of prestige. It felt right. I had mixed feelings because of the ranking (nonexistent) until I spent some time discovering what really matters to me.

I have the best of both worlds, I think. I, too, will be attached when I begin med school in the fall. The good part? My husband is going too 🙂

Good luck - follow your heart and you can't go wrong. <img src="graemlins/lovey.gif" border="0" alt="[Lovey]" />

 

[Dr. Kermit]

Hey guys-

Ironically, my boyfriend is here this weekend and we just watched the Steelers game (Yah, AFC game next week 🙂 ), so I've been away from the computer.

applying- sorry about Einstein not giving you any love 🙁 I really don't know why they liked me, but apparently there was something in my app. Thanks for the congrats and good luck w/everything.

Dr.G- If only UPENN loved me that would solve all my problems! Thanks for the advice, I know about the whole near boyfriend, but don't want to go to a school near by (Wake.) I was accepted at MCP and while esctatic at being accepted, I didn't like it that much and was afraid that would be the only school I got into and would ultimately attend.

coop- Are you still at Hopkins? I graduated in 2001. Good luck with everything and I'm so happy for you and your girlfriend going to Chicago together 🙂

lily and meg- Temple does let you do 4 months of your 4th year abroad. So, ultimately, I would be spending only 1 year apart from my boyfriend. I'm trying to negate him from the equation, but it's getting awfully hard because he tries to stay unbiased since he's in Philly, but he's a born and bred NYorker!! I did love Temple, but it was my first interview, so I think that I'm still awed with them for loving me so much 🙂 I love Einstein more and more when I visit.

So guys, I think what it's going to come down to is I'm going to go and stay with a student at both schools probably before exams start kicking in and decide. I already have a pros/cons list, so each day I add a little more to each and once May hits, I'll have to start really thinking about both.

Thanks again!