Thoughts on being married during medical school?

[radian313]

Im currently engaged to my fiancé and accepted to a medical school. My fiance loves the rural area hence is okay with living in such a area.

We plan on marrying in the upcoming winter season, hence there will be about 1.5 years of basic sciences left from that point.

She wants us to be together, she wants to work, clean, do the groceries, cook and take care of the house and believes this will help (which I am sure it will). Good thing is both my parents and her parents live near eachother about 3 hours away so we will get visitation often.

Curious what everyone is thinking about something like this. Im just nervous that I dont want to fall into that guilt thing I need to run home every night just to spend a bit of time.

Thanks.

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[lnguyen1412]

I'm in the same situation (beside I'm not getting accepted yet)
My wife is currently enrolled in Uc Berkeley right now, and we are living away from each other (due to my job) .

I think as long as you have the love and support each other, nothing can be too hard for you. She is willing to support for your dream you know (based on what you said) so just go out there, try your best, and she'll understand

One more thing: How can you list married information in your AACOMAS application?

 

[radian313]

I'm in the same situation (beside I'm not getting accepted yet)
My wife is currently enrolled in Uc Berkeley right now, and we are living away from each other (due to my job) .

I think as long as you have the love and support each other, nothing can be too hard for you. She is willing to support for your dream you know (based on what you said) so just go out there, try your best, and she'll understand

One more thing: How can you list married information in your AACOMAS application?

Yeh. She def is supporting me, in fact for the last 3 years shes turned down every marriage proposal as she was being told by her family simply because she saw a future with me. Just this year we got engaged and finally I am accepted. She says she is willing to let me be on my own just that she wants to physically live together so she can take care of me.

 

[AlteredScale]

Im currently engaged to my fiancé and accepted to a medical school. My fiance loves the rural area hence is okay with living in such a area.

We plan on marrying in the upcoming winter season, hence there will be about 1.5 years of basic sciences left from that point.

She wants us to be together, she wants to work, clean, do the groceries, cook and take care of the house and believes this will help (which I am sure it will). Good thing is both my parents and her parents live near eachother about 3 hours away so we will get visitation often.

Curious what everyone is thinking about something like this. Im just nervous that I dont want to fall into that guilt thing I need to run home every night just to spend a bit of time.

Thanks.

I got married before med school. Now about a year later I can say its doable and enjoyable. Communication is key for sure especially in terms of avoiding scheduling conflicts. I think if your wife is willing to be supportive and patient with you and is willing to travel with you along this arduous journey than having them by your side is def worth it. I believe Staggs737 got married in the winter so feel free to PM him in what that was like if you want or me.

Best of luck to you!


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[radian313]

I got married before med school. Now about a year later I can say its doable and enjoyable. Communication is key for sure especially in terms of avoiding scheduling conflicts. I think if your wife is willing to be supportive and patient with you and is willing to travel with you along this arduous journey than having them by your side is def worth it. I believe Staggs737 got married in the winter so feel free to PM him in what that was like if you want or me.

Best of luck to you!


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Thanks for the reply. I think its just mostly all these acute changes that will happen that is sort if making me anxious. Luckily I will be going to WVSOM which seems to be a very family oriented place.

Yeh she def wants to be by my side as much as she can. But I am also fortunate to have family nearby within a short 3 hours drive (her and my parents).

Ive done long distance and from my experience the relationship dies down quickly because you are expected to "skype" and "call" on a regular basis and if you dont well it doesnt go well.

 

[samac]

Glad she'll be able to be with you.
But I guess it's because I'm a woman I would shoot myself in the foot if I had to plan a wedding in year one.
As the groom I guess you don't have as much to worry about, as long as your weddin is winter break you should be ok.

 

[radian313]

Glad she'll be able to be with you.
But I guess it's because I'm a woman I would shoot myself in the foot if I had to plan a wedding in year one.
As the groom I guess you don't have as much to worry about, as long as your weddin is winter break you should be ok.

Yeh I am def. glad

I just dont want to worry that I need to rush home for her.

Wedding? Lol I already told her "hunny just tell me where to show up in a tux and I promise to laugh at all your parents jokes as if they are actually funny"

 

[24blue8]

I'm confused, what is the proposed alternative?
Not marrying her until you are done studying for Step I? Residency? You are always going to be busy.
Or you are worried it is going to interfere with your social life?
You will be running home during medical school anyways... to study. That is assuming you leave the house and actually go to class instead of studying at home for 10 hrs a day.
If she is there then even better.

 

[Ioannes Paulus]

I know students in my class that are married and already have 2+ kids. They say it helps them more than harms them.

 

[radian313]

I'm confused, what is the proposed alternative?
Not marrying her until you are done studying for Step I? Residency? You are always going to be busy.
Or you are worried it is going to interfere with your social life?
You will be running home during medical school anyways... to study. That is assuming you leave the house and actually go to class instead of studying at home for 10 hrs a day.
If she is there then even better.

I never ever said I want to delay it.

Im more just worried for HER sake that she will be bored since I will be so busy. She will carry a job, but this question is being asked moreso that I am going to be having major changes, being married and going to medical school.

 

[j4pac]

I never ever said I want to delay it.

Im more just worried for HER sake that she will be bored since I will be so busy. She will carry a job, but this question is being asked moreso that I am going to be having major changes, being married and going to medical school.

It's not easy...but it's called growing up. I got married in medical school and I actually feel like it made my life more simple. Of course it comes with it's own challenges...but there probably isn't a "good time" to get married or have children as a medical professional. If it's what you want to do...you do it and let the chips fall where they may.

 

[Mad Jack]

Don't know anyone that is married that has said it was detrimental. Preclinical or late fourth year are probably the best times to get married. Personally I've felt the whole "medical school is terrible for relationships" mantra to be incorrect- most people I know have maintained or started long-lasting, successful relationships.

 

[radian313]

You guys l/gals are awesome! Making me feel much more confident!

 

[deleted480308]

Yeh. She def is supporting me, in fact for the last 3 years shes turned down every marriage proposal as she was being told by her family simply because she saw a future with me. Just this year we got engaged and finally I am accepted. She says she is willing to let me be on my own just that she wants to physically live together so she can take care of me.

how often do people propose to your girlfriends haha

 

[radian313]

how often do people propose to your girlfriends haha

Lol maybe I wrote it wrong, but when I say proposal I meant that through families. We are south east asian and often times proposals come through arrange marriages. Sorry for the confusion.

 

[deleted480308]

Lol maybe I wrote it wrong, but when I say proposal I meant that through families. We are south east asian and often times proposals come through arrange marriages. Sorry for the confusion.

that makes more sense.....

 

[radian313]

that makes more sense.....

That was funny though what you said lol

 

[DetectiveAlonzo]

Wifey will understand. If you love her and can't see yourself with anybody else then go for it.

Not so much with marrying... but dating amongst the class is a huge no-no in my book. I don't **** where I eat.

 

[radian313]

Wifey will understand. If you love her and can't see yourself with anybody else then go for it.

Not so much with marrying... but dating amongst the class is a huge no-no in my book. I don't **** where I eat.

I really cant. I wouldnt have been in medical school if it wasnt for her. I went from burying my sister, lost and distraught to gathering the courage of doing well on the mcat. I owe it to her.

 

[TheBoneDoctah]

Based on personal experience...being married in medical school is EXTREMELY beneficial. If you have a wife/husband that helps with the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, working (so that you don't have to take out as much loans for living), it can open up a lot of time for you to focus on school.


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[sp4k]

Im currently engaged to my fiancé and accepted to a medical school. My fiance loves the rural area hence is okay with living in such a area.

We plan on marrying in the upcoming winter season, hence there will be about 1.5 years of basic sciences left from that point.

She wants us to be together, she wants to work, clean, do the groceries, cook and take care of the house and believes this will help (which I am sure it will). Good thing is both my parents and her parents live near eachother about 3 hours away so we will get visitation often.

Curious what everyone is thinking about something like this. Im just nervous that I dont want to fall into that guilt thing I need to run home every night just to spend a bit of time.

Thanks.

It seems to me that your fiancee is very supportive of your decision and wants the best for the both of you. You're all set.

I met my fiancee in grad school, she just recently defended her PhD and landed an awesome job. I'm defending next year and hopefully starting med school in 2018 (fingers crossed). We're getting married next year. She's been nothing but extremely supportive and helpful, and is willing to relocate and look for another job. We made it through grad school together and still tolerate each other. OP, if your fiancee's still there for you after 4 years of med school that's how you know she's the one

 

[GreyF0X]

Lol maybe I wrote it wrong, but when I say proposal I meant that through families. We are south east asian and often times proposals come through arrange marriages. Sorry for the confusion.

Now that you're in med school, you've finally filled the prerequisite to marrying any aunty's daughter.

 

[FutureFloridaDr]

Now that you're in med school, you've finally filled the prerequisite to marrying any aunty's daughter.

loooll, just desi things.

 

[radian313]

You folks are funny lol....

 

[AlteredScale]

Based on personal experience...being married in medical school is EXTREMELY beneficial. If you have a wife/husband that helps with the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, working (so that you don't have to take out as much loans for living), it can open up a lot of time for you to focus on school.


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Yeah synapticdoctah and higherprimate make a great couple. Cute.


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[OrdinaryDO]

I am getting married right after OMS1 and am nothing short of ecstatic about it. I think it'll make this easier having my life-long best friend by my side to help support me and be a great companion while going through my struggles.