... I don't care what life experiences a person has had. It is not possible to understand how awful the first year of medical school is until you do it. I don't know anyone who has left medical school after the first year--if they don't make it, it's generally because they can't get through the crap of first year. ...
The OP has the opportunity to make it through and should obviously try all the sensible options first; take makeup exams, get extra help postponements, etc. Obviously if OP can make it through, then s/he should do so. The dean even suggesting taking a look at the next exam and going from there. At this point the dean has simply warned that OP that a LOA is something that may make sense, although there are still opportunities to make it work out.
If, after failing the next exam (the one that is coming up), my dean sat me down and said, "you know this isn't working. You are setting up to fail two classes and possibly more and this is a problem; a leave of absence would look better on your record." I would respect my dean's opinion. I'm not suggesting that I would flippantly say, oh yeah, sure, just repeat the year. In my original reply, I had some trouble figuring out what the dean was suggesting, and the OP clarified the dean's comments to make it sound more like a warning in a later reply.
I would give my dean's opinion on how something would look on my record a lot more weight that what a classmate who is also an MS1 thinks or even what a poll on SDN says. If I had a question, I might go talk to a PD or two as well. Given that the OP has the talent and some rather difficult / unusual circumstances, a LOA would be totally justified if s/he runs out of options except for failing multiple classes.
The bottom line is that pain avoidance is not always the winning strategy. The easiest thing would be just to drop out of medical school and avoid this suffering altogether. If it was really that bad, this would be the best option and everyone's suggestion (unlike many other life situations that the OP could find him/herself in). I don't see anyone suggesting that. I also find it extremely humorous that some people think that med school is so bad that no one would want to repeat a year when very few people actually drop out and thousands of people want to get in.
If MS1 & MS2 was hell on earth >90% of the people would drop out every year at every school and medical schools would need to lower standards to a GED or below to get people to sign up (like recruiting bomb disposal crews for Iraq maybe). I've informally polled maybe 100 people (physicians, students, residents, etc.) about their experiences. The preclinical experience depends on many factors (like what school you go to, your study efficiency, whether you like PBL, etc.), and there are even people who enjoy it (treat it like a 9-5 job) and rock their STEP 1s. It's not like everyone finds MS1 & MS2 to be torture. I would dare say that about 80% of the people I spoke with said that MS1 & MS2 were a ton of studying and intense but not so bad that most people are looking to quit and leave at the first opportunity. I've never heard an MS1 or MS2 say, "Wow, that was rough; I bet MS3 and residency are going to be a cakewalk after this." Some people with 4.0's from top schools and high MCATs even said MS1 & 2 was 'easier than their UG' (engineers). Sure there are gunners who skip meals and forgo hygiene and agonize over the the fact that they must H's everything. There are people who are fighting tooth an nail just to pass. However, for most people it seems to be UG on speed as you say. Tough but doable.
If you want a famous reference, take a look at Panda's blog. Life as an MS1 & MS2 was good for him. He worked out and had time for life. He would probably trade the lifestyle of an MS1 for being an EM resident in a microsecond. He's not the only one who feels that way either. As far as other non-medical experiences, go, quit acting like med students are the only ones who work hard. There are engineers who work harder than med students and take all kinds of abuse but they plug away (and some of those jobs do have very high turnover). People take abuse in all kinds of jobs, whether it is patroling the streets of Bagdad, washing dishes in a steak house, working 120 hour weeks during a chemical plant turnaround, or just working for an abusive boss in a dead-end job because the economy is bad. If it came down to repeating MS1 or being stuck for the rest of my life in a medical specialty I didn't like I would repeat MS1. It's 1 year of pain versus 40 years of hell; sometimes it helps to think about the future as well.
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