To date or not to date?

[katy]

How difficult is it to maintain a long distance relationship while in med school? I have a boyfriend of three years. I am currently in another state working on a post bac and will be returning home in June to begin med school. We will finally be back in the same state, but not the same city. The dilemma I have is we are having serious problems now and I suspect it will only get worse. I do not want to suffer a dramatic breakup my first year of med school. Will there be others in med school? I don't really want to date guys from my class. Bad experiences. Any good advice?

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[penelope]

suzy, there have been threads on this subject before, but I will tell you from my personal experience in both undergrad and med school that it would probably be better to break it off before you leave for med school. You guys are already having serious problems; distance plus the demands of med school WILL make it worse. I have looked into my crystal ball for you, suzy, and I see that putting off the inevitable will only cause a huge melodramatic saga via a series of tearful telephone calls during the week leading up to a major exam. Save yourself the angst and make a clean break before you leave for school. That way you will be free to meet new people and have a totally open mind when you get there.

 

[penelope]

I should add that I myself broke up with my bf of 3 years before coming to med school, and though I didn't expect or want to date anyone in my class, I did meet someone great and it has been working out very well. But even if you don't find someone compatible in your class, there are other (albeit more difficult) ways to meet people (i.e. someone in another class??)...and even if none of those avenues works out, isn't it better to be alone than stuck in a miserable long-distance thing? Don't be afraid to take the plunge into singledom. It's an exciting time of your life and YOU should be your first priority.
penelope

 

[katy]

Penelope,
Thanks so much. I know you are right. I will be better off in the end.

 

[ckent]

Well I will just add that I have a friend who was in a long distance relationship and went through a break up that lasted over a year throughout our first year. Both of them were in med school but at different schools. She ended up failing first year and is repeating it now and she and her boyfriend only broke up a few months ago. Breakups during school can be very difficult, particularly in med school when people are stressed out about the school work by itself.

 

[iowaboy]

From a male perspective....

I've been single for 2 years now and in med school, and i must say, its not bad living the single life. I will agree that it can be hard to get involved with someone in your own class (although not impossible). I personally would prefer to get involved with someone NOT in the same class, for many reasons. I guess what I am saying is, don't be afraid to explore the single realm. I won't lie to you..it does suck in the beginning just because you'll miss having that someone in your life. That is probably why you should consider making a clean break now before you start med school so that you can be completely over it and ready to start a new part of your life and ready to be receptive to new opportunties that could potentially lead to new relationships.
(And also, I don't see anything wrong with casually dating people in your class or in other classes. Dating doesn't neccessarily equal relationships).

 

[Transposon]

I think such lounge-based threads are ending up here because "Allopathic" became the 1st category, so all the quick, frivolous posts now come here...
Why ask others if you should date or not? Do what comes natural...

 

[Katie]

I think Suzy is asking whether or not she should continue her relationship with her bf, not whether or not she should ever date again. I think Suzy should sit down with her bf and discuss what they want to do and where the relationship is going. Communication is key; I've learned that the hard way, unfortunately. I'm a bit biased against LDR's because I got screwed over by a guy I was in an LDR with. Med school is tough on relationships; in our class two girls who were in long-term relationships with live-in boyfriends ended up breaking up, and there are probably more that I know of. A friend of mine and her bf are already having problems because she has much less time to spend with him this semester now that we are doing anatomy. anyway, good luck to you, and back to studying histology.

Originally posted by ligand:
•I think such lounge-based threads are ending up here because "Allopathic" became the 1st category, so all the quick, frivolous posts now come here...
Why ask others if you should date or not? Do what comes natural...•••

 

[Winged Scapula]

This does belong in The Lounge (even though it is peripherally related to medicine)...