Should I use a personal statement like this?

  • Yes

    Votes: 10 47.6%
  • No

    Votes: 8 38.1%
  • Maybe

    Votes: 2 9.5%
  • Do you want a violin?

    Votes: 1 4.8%

  • Total voters
    21

kamandsam

10+ Year Member
Nov 17, 2008
83
0
California
Status
Fellow [Any Field]
I am currently composing my personal statement and want to get some feedback from you wonderful and generous SDN members. Here is the abstract.

From a home with 100% disabled alcoholic veteran dad. I was the first male in the family to ever graduate high school. Went on to local CC and spent two years earning a mighty 1.7 GPA in social science. Took a break from school and went back earned a 3.6 at CC, transfered to a 4-yr. I completed 2.5 years at the 4 year year in 3 semesters. I earned a 3.5 and won my program honors for my class. Then went on to get masters and into a PhD program where I earned a 3.5 and won 2 prestigious fellowships. Along the way gt married had 3 babies and work as well to enable my wife to stay at home with our babies. Then I would move into what dental school means to me and how i will contribute to the school and the profession.


Thanks for taking the time.
 
Last edited:

Flossy13

10+ Year Member
Nov 24, 2008
91
0
Status
Pre-Dental
i think it would def be good to throw that story in there, but i dont htink it should be the BULK of the essay

Its a great way to make yourself stand out and shows a lot about your character, but don't forget that the underlying question is "why dentistry"
 

REH

Junior Member
10+ Year Member
5+ Year Member
Aug 4, 2006
153
1
Status
Dental Student
I am currently composing my personal statement and want to get some feedback from you wonderful and generous SDN members. Here is the abstract.

From a home with 100% disabled alcoholic veteran dad. I was the first male in the family to ever graduate high school. Went on to local CC and spent two years earning a mighty 1.7 GPA in social science. Took a break from school and went back earned a 3.6 at CC, transfered to a 4-yr. I completed 2.5 years at the 4 year year in 3 semesters. I earned a 3.5 and won my program honors for my class. Then went on to get masters and into a PhD program where I earned a 3.5 and won 2 prestigious fellowships. Along the way gt married had 3 babies and work as well to enable my wife to stay at home with our babies. Then I would move into what dental school means to me and how i will contribute to the school and the profession.


Thanks for taking the time.

I would suggest you exclude all of your stats from your personal statement. They already know, because they have your transcripts in front of them. Through your story, explain what those numbers don't tell them. Show them that you've successfully overcome some very challenging obstacles in your life, and have been able to translate the lessons learned into personal success.
 
About the Ads

kamandsam

10+ Year Member
Nov 17, 2008
83
0
California
Status
Fellow [Any Field]
I would suggest you exclude all of your stats from your personal statement. They already know, because they have your transcripts in front of them. Through your story, explain what those numbers don't tell them. Show them that you've successfully overcome some very challenging obstacles in your life, and have been able to translate the lessons learned into personal success.
Thank you.

I agree about removing the stats.
 

DrReo

"Thread Necromancer"
10+ Year Member
Jun 29, 2007
3,118
14
Status
Academic Administration
Make it more concise, I like the 3 babies part.
 

rewJW

surviving
10+ Year Member
5+ Year Member
Feb 5, 2008
454
3
Status
Dentist
I would suggest you exclude all of your stats from your personal statement. They already know, because they have your transcripts in front of them. Through your story, explain what those numbers don't tell them. Show them that you've successfully overcome some very challenging obstacles in your life, and have been able to translate the lessons learned into personal success.
I think REH summed up everything I thought upon reading OP's summary. :thumbup:

You can definitely show them you've overcome challenges and are capable of the demands of d-school. And you could say "I wasn't focused at first in school .. bleh bleh ... but I learned how to balance everything and feel my more recent academic achievements are more representative of my true abilities."
 

kamandsam

10+ Year Member
Nov 17, 2008
83
0
California
Status
Fellow [Any Field]
I think REH summed up everything I thought upon reading OP's summary. :thumbup:

You can definitely show them you've overcome challenges and are capable of the demands of d-school. And you could say "I wasn't focused at first in school .. bleh bleh ... but I learned how to balance everything and feel my more recent academic achievements are more representative of my true abilities."
So it looks like a tie. Ughh.

Thank you for the words of criticism.
 

somethinpositiv

Member
10+ Year Member
Jul 20, 2008
1,401
21
Status
Dental Student
Take out the stuff about your "disabled alcoholic veteran dad". Is that the tone you want to begin your PS? and the PS is about you, not your dad.

Also, remove the stats as people have said. Certainly mention the fellowships, which are impressive, but a 3.5 doing grad is not so impressive.
 
About the Ads