Transfer to marry?

[Pen Pal]

Hi everyone. I'm glad I found this site. I'm a first year student at a school out west and I'd like to transfer between 2nd and 3rd year. The reason is that my fiancee is living on the east coast and we want to get married, but we're both women and can't do it in my state because it's illegal.

I know you have to have a good reason to transfer, would this qualify? And if the answer is yes, is it risky to out myself to med schools?

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[thesauce]

It's a pretty good reason IMO, but a transfer is still unlikely. I wouldn't worry about outing yourself. Best of luck!

 

[st0w]

You can always just say you want to move to be closer to your fiancée... You don't have to reveal that your partner is the same sex, it's irrelevant to the point. But as thesauce said, transfers are typically very difficult to pull off.

 

[Mr hawkings]

I think your chances would be better if you were married already and then tried to transfer to be closer to your spouse.
I think they would be more receptive to that than transferring for the sole purpose of getting married.
Just looking at it from a heterosexual standpoint, they would be less likely if the person i was transferring for was my girlfriend/fiance.
Having said that, your situation is unique enough to give it a shot.

Just make sure you dont burn any bridges at your present school in case it does not work out

 

[Pen Pal]

You can always just say you want to move to be closer to your fiancée... You don't have to reveal that your partner is the same sex, it's irrelevant to the point. But as thesauce said, transfers are typically very difficult to pull off.

Yeah, but in that situation, they'd just ask why my fiancee can't move closer to me.

 

[Pen Pal]

I think your chances would be better if you were married already and then tried to transfer to be closer to your spouse.

But we can't get married until we establish residency in one of the states that allows it.

 

[Jay Leno]

Hi everyone. I'm glad I found this site. I'm a first year student at a school out west and I'd like to transfer between 2nd and 3rd year. The reason is that my fiancee is living on the east coast and we want to get married, but we're both women and can't do it in my state because it's illegal.

I know you have to have a good reason to transfer, would this qualify? And if the answer is yes, is it risky to out myself to med schools?

If you're afraid about outing yourself, I would suggest that you check your medical school's student policy. Most schools have a policy saying that they don't discriminate against students or employees because of race, religion, creed, or sexual orientation (the only school that might not have this policy might be Loma Linda). If your school has that policy, I wouldn't be worried about it because technically the school administration would have to extend the same consideration as if you were a heterosexual couple. Check to see if this policy applies to the school were you are at right now and at the school where you would like to transfer to. If it does, definitely see if you can transfer after MS2 after taking the USMLE.

 

[njbmd]

Your sexual orientation isn't at issue here in terms of transfer. If you have a good reason for transfer (marriage and family are good reasons) and the school that you anticipate transferring into has an opening that you would be qualified for, then you get the blessing of your school because they have to support your transfer and the permission of the school that you are trying to go into.

The permission you seek is not to marry a person of the same sex but to transfer. You don't need to mention your sexual orientation just that you are engaged and anticipate marriage. These are very common reasons for transfer. The only problem that comes up is that there are very few openings out there to begin with.

 

[st0w]

Yeah, but in that situation, they'd just ask why my fiancee can't move closer to me.

If it even comes up during the transfer application process and you don't want to tell them, you can say there are personal or private reasons that it's not an option. One of the (many) things schools will be considering when people transfer is what the reasons for the transfer are, and if the student will be happy at the new location. Transferring for family reasons indicates you have strong ties to the community and have a support system there, and it is looked upon favorably.

 

[Pen Pal]

Ok, thanks everyone!!

 

[Tiktaalik]

Popping in as a fellow gay, I might suggest that if your primary reason for moving is legal marriage, you might be better served by skipping the transfer thing and doing a commitment ceremony instead. Since same-sex marriages aren't federally recognized, the benefits of civil marriage aren't exactly stellar right now - there are some, but you still end up filing taxes separately and things like that.

It sounds like a compromise, but really, in the eyes of the federal government under DOMA, your legal state marriage and a non-binding commitment (which you can call a wedding and accompany with a bit of legal voodoo to get most of the benefits you'd get from a state civil wedding) are equivalent in their meaninglessness.

Of course, if your fiancee doesn't want to move, this advice is useless, but I thought I'd throw the suggestion out there.

 

[cpants]

Why not just get married now in a state that allows it? She can then move in with you while you finish medical school, and you guys can try to match to a gay-friendly state for residency. As long as you guys know you are married, who cares if you are living in a state which doesn't recognize it for a couple of years? It will probably mean 2 years without shared benefits, but you can swing that right?

 

[ziggyd0c]

But we can't get married until we establish residency in one of the states that allows it.

this isn't true... my sister lives in ohio and she went to connecticut about a month ago and married her partner

 

[MedStudentWanna]

this isn't true... my sister lives in ohio and she went to connecticut about a month ago and married her partner

Yeah, but Ohio won't recognize the marriage. I think the OP wants to live in a state where their marriage is recognized.

 

[Tiktaalik]

If just getting legally married somewhere was the plan, she could go to Canada or wherever and just get the thing done in the weekend. I think the OP has moved on, which is too bad, because I'm afraid she's going to be really disappointed when she finds out what the marriage is going to actually entail.