WOW!!! my wife and i just found out we aren't just STARTING our family the month before i start med school-- we're HAVING our family just before i start!!! We have tried for some time now so we are super, super, super excited!! I did want to ask if any of you have found/heard of programs or companies that help with the financial aspect of med school while dealing with the fact that we'll have triplets?! Many in my family have insisted i defer enrollment for a year but my heart tells me that isn't the solution-- any ideas/direction???
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Wow! Congratulations!!! We had twins at the end of second year med school - so I think I might be able to give you *some* perspective. My opinion? DEFINITELY defer your first year!!!!!!! I cannot emphasize enough how much that will do for you, your spouse, your children, AND your medical education! <img border="0" alt="[Clappy]" title="" src="graemlins/clappy.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Clappy]" title="" src="graemlins/clappy.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Clappy]" title="" src="graemlins/clappy.gif" />
Jennifer
Jennifer
This is actually "k's mom" Congratulations! You and your wife know if deferment is best for you or not. It sounds like you know it is not right, so follow through on your dream. Just be prepared for a lot of sleepless nights (no kidding, right?) and assure that there is a great deal of support for your wife (family, church members, etc...to do laundry, clean, feed and change the babies, etc..) Yeah, I know you will need support too, but don't expect a lot of special treatment...you will have to be expecially loving and supportive of your wife and be prepared to be rather ignored at times. Regarding special promotions, most major companies have such specials. I know that Pampers, Similac, and I think Babies R Us have specials for multiples (freebies, etc...) You just have to write/email to ask. Also, try to track down a multiples support group in your area and/or get a subscription to TWINS! magazine. They will have more detailed and informative information.
I would mostly be concerned about any potential moves for school. As you know by now, triplet pregnancies are most definitely "high risk" which means you may be a parent sooner than you think, and moving and changing doctors may be impossible and dangerous for your wife. Your wife's OB can give you a better idea of what will be best. From my experience, family and friends are always offering to help out...and mere acquaintances seem to love holding and helping with babies, especially multiples. So, I say that you and your wife need to practice putting people to work now. When someone calls and says, "Can I help?" Say sure...you can do the laundry on Tuesday, or bring us a week's worth of meals on Sunday, or come by to feed and rock the babies while my wife gets a nap on Wednesday and I go to class. For out of town relatives (especially grandmas and grandpas), schedule them at intervals, especially if they want to "help" for a week or more. Just make sure they are supportive people who will be comfortable taking care of babies, and not expect to be chauffered around town to all of the tourist spots.
Best wishes, and best health to your wife.
I would mostly be concerned about any potential moves for school. As you know by now, triplet pregnancies are most definitely "high risk" which means you may be a parent sooner than you think, and moving and changing doctors may be impossible and dangerous for your wife. Your wife's OB can give you a better idea of what will be best. From my experience, family and friends are always offering to help out...and mere acquaintances seem to love holding and helping with babies, especially multiples. So, I say that you and your wife need to practice putting people to work now. When someone calls and says, "Can I help?" Say sure...you can do the laundry on Tuesday, or bring us a week's worth of meals on Sunday, or come by to feed and rock the babies while my wife gets a nap on Wednesday and I go to class. For out of town relatives (especially grandmas and grandpas), schedule them at intervals, especially if they want to "help" for a week or more. Just make sure they are supportive people who will be comfortable taking care of babies, and not expect to be chauffered around town to all of the tourist spots.
Best wishes, and best health to your wife.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by jhug:
<strong>WOW!!! We have tried for some time now so we are super, super, super excited!! Many in my family have insisted i defer enrollment for a year but my heart tells me that isn't the solution-- any ideas/direction???</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">WOW!!!
Congratulations!!! Hubby and I have been trying for our first since the end of 99, and so I know what it is like to finally achieve your goal after a time of waiting.
I am terribly thrilled for you!
Only you can decide about deferring or not...you and your wife of course.
Having just one child can be a strain, but it really depends alot on the childs temperment, the spouse who will be at homes temperment, and the availbility of support. The last is key...will your wife have someone other then you available to help out alot?
I was wondering though, there is a good chance that your wife will deliver before full term, at that point, could you see how it 'feels' and then defer if that felt right?
I am thinking you will have some time between the birth of your children and the start of school to figure out what feels right for the both of you.
If you don't want to defer, and your wife doesn't want you to....then don't.....you can always change your mind later but if you defer without wanting to, you can't change your mind and actually enroll.
Good luck!! Let us know what you decide and congratulations again!!!
Wifty
<strong>WOW!!! We have tried for some time now so we are super, super, super excited!! Many in my family have insisted i defer enrollment for a year but my heart tells me that isn't the solution-- any ideas/direction???</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">WOW!!!
Congratulations!!! Hubby and I have been trying for our first since the end of 99, and so I know what it is like to finally achieve your goal after a time of waiting.
I am terribly thrilled for you!
Only you can decide about deferring or not...you and your wife of course.
Having just one child can be a strain, but it really depends alot on the childs temperment, the spouse who will be at homes temperment, and the availbility of support. The last is key...will your wife have someone other then you available to help out alot?
I was wondering though, there is a good chance that your wife will deliver before full term, at that point, could you see how it 'feels' and then defer if that felt right?
I am thinking you will have some time between the birth of your children and the start of school to figure out what feels right for the both of you.
If you don't want to defer, and your wife doesn't want you to....then don't.....you can always change your mind later but if you defer without wanting to, you can't change your mind and actually enroll.
Good luck!! Let us know what you decide and congratulations again!!!
Wifty
- Thread Starter
- #7
She'll deliver --ideally-- around the end of july-- but that is really trying to be optimistic!!
This only gives me 3 weeks before i need to be thinking of moving-- Plus the delivery will be a c-section due to my wife's little body. I am really beginning to believe that the defer option is the best for my wife/family-- and for me, i want to be there for the first year of my kids lives-- heaven knows i won't be for their third and fourth!!! I'm learning how selfish of a person i am! I have worked so hard to get to this-- and it has been tough to set it aside for one small year for something as important as my wife and kids!!
This only gives me 3 weeks before i need to be thinking of moving-- Plus the delivery will be a c-section due to my wife's little body. I am really beginning to believe that the defer option is the best for my wife/family-- and for me, i want to be there for the first year of my kids lives-- heaven knows i won't be for their third and fourth!!!
I'm learning how selfish of a person i am! I have worked so hard to get to this-- and it has been tough to set it aside for one small year for something as important as my wife and kids!!Ohhhhhh jhug! As a parent of twins I can just tell you that for about a year after your multiples' birth you are going to be so sleep-deprived you'll hallucinate (no joke), so poor (have you ever calculated the cost of diapers for three children?), and very busy helping your wife. My husband and I just had our fourth child (it's a singleton this time) and he asked me rhetorically the other night, "How the heck did we do it with twins?" This was after he reflected on how difficult his one, EASY newborn was! You want your first year of medical school to be a good one - not a foggy time period when you are semi-awake and running to stand still. If you defer for that first year, it also gives you a year to work to afford those baby diapers/high chairs/clothes/etc. Trust me, after the first year, the level of difficulty - and the expense - with multiples drops dramatically. After that first year, medical school will seem like a breeze! Good luck whatever your choice turns out to be - and I'll be happy to answer any questions you might have regarding being a parent to multiples during medical school and beyond!
Jennifer
Jennifer
jhug, I like the way you're thinking. Your children are only babies once, and it's time you'll never get back again. Plus you are building a solid foundation with your wife by standing by her side when she needs you. Your marriage will have a stronger foundation to sustain the rigors of medical school, internships, and residencies later. When you are 80 years old and looking back at your life, what will you be thinking? DARN, I wish I hadn't deferred going to medical school for a year? Somehow, I kind of doubt it, especially as you watch your children with your grandchildren. <img border="0" alt="[Lovey]" title="" src="graemlins/lovey.gif" /> Best of luck to you and your family!
jhug, my husband and I are in a similar situation as you and your wife. My husband (this is actually his SDN ID) is going to be entering med school in August, and I'm due in late May. Now, I'm not having triplets--just one (which probably makes all the difference)--but we decided that defering school a year would not be a good idea for us. My husband took two years off of undergraduate school for our church, and so every year counts. Plus, from what we've heard, the first year of med shcool he'll be around home much more than following years, so we've decided not to have him wait. Best of luck deciding, and congratulations our your little ones!
jiffy boy - you're right - there's a BIG difference between having just one and having three a the same time. With just one I'd say deferment wouldn't be necessary really - with two or more coming at the same time the whole thing changes dramatically! We started out with one before medical school and then we had twins and now we've had one more. Going back and forth between having singletons and multiples really hit home to me just how difficult multiples are as small babies! In comparison, single (healthy) babies are a breeze!
Jennifer
Jennifer
i am not a father so i can`t give you any advice. I just want to congratulate you. This is very exiting. Congratulation to you and your wife.