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'Twas The Night Before MCATs.
A slight reworking of "'Twas The Night Before Christmas."
by Anthony Rosania
`Twas the night before MCATs, when all through the house
All the pre-meds were stirring and worrying about;
The pencils were sharpened and layed out with care,
In hopes that a 30 would tomorrow be there.
The Orgo was nestled all snug in their heads,
Through pages of bio and chem they had tread.
And ma with her Princeton and I with my Kap,
Had just settled down for a long pre-test nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away in one step I flew like an S-N-2 reaction,
And tore open the shutters with torque and with traction.
The moon was held tight by centripetal forces,
Like I always learned in my pre-medical courses.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear.
But a strange looking guy with a pencil and grid.
That little old prep-guy, so quick it all happened,
But I knew in a moment it must be Stan Kaplan.
More rapid than eagles his answers they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name;
"Now Physics! Now Bio! Now Orgo and Chem!
With Claisen and Kirchoff, I'm sure you'll get tens,
Acids and bases make water and salt,
Now score away, score away, score away all!"
As all objects that accelerate, under forces I know,
When they meet normal forces, from friction they slow,
So up to the house the MCAT guy leaped,
With his acceleration at zero just at his peak.
And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The scratching and filling of each little bubble.
As I drew in my hand and was turning around,
In through the window, Kap came with a bound.
He had Kinetic Energy, from the Potential he fell,
And his neurons were churning from what I could tell.
A bundle of fibers he had on his back,
The H zone and I band, I saw them contract.
His theorems how they twinkled, his constants so merry!
Like mag-forces on charges but only when hurried!
Like charges repel and closer opposites go,
He reminded me current was a positive flow.
The stump of a half cell he held in his hand,
"If Galvanic" he said, "then E's positive friend"
In the other hand he held a small pump,
"Remember 3 in for 2 out, in case you get stumped."
He was chubby and plump, like a cell in a hypotonic solution,
Then I said, "root of k over m is the frequency of revolution."
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
"You got it my friend you have nothing to dread."
He spoke not a word, he worked very quickly,
Polishing pencils, and packing exam tickets safely,
And then laying a finger aside his brain,
"It's all in there, don't stress and it will come out okay!"
He sprang out the window with a force of ?kx,
And away from the house he continued his trek.
But I heard him exclaim as he walked out of sight,
"Best Wishes on The MCAT to all, and to all a good-night!"
A slight reworking of "'Twas The Night Before Christmas."
by Anthony Rosania
`Twas the night before MCATs, when all through the house
All the pre-meds were stirring and worrying about;
The pencils were sharpened and layed out with care,
In hopes that a 30 would tomorrow be there.
The Orgo was nestled all snug in their heads,
Through pages of bio and chem they had tread.
And ma with her Princeton and I with my Kap,
Had just settled down for a long pre-test nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away in one step I flew like an S-N-2 reaction,
And tore open the shutters with torque and with traction.
The moon was held tight by centripetal forces,
Like I always learned in my pre-medical courses.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear.
But a strange looking guy with a pencil and grid.
That little old prep-guy, so quick it all happened,
But I knew in a moment it must be Stan Kaplan.
More rapid than eagles his answers they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name;
"Now Physics! Now Bio! Now Orgo and Chem!
With Claisen and Kirchoff, I'm sure you'll get tens,
Acids and bases make water and salt,
Now score away, score away, score away all!"
As all objects that accelerate, under forces I know,
When they meet normal forces, from friction they slow,
So up to the house the MCAT guy leaped,
With his acceleration at zero just at his peak.
And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The scratching and filling of each little bubble.
As I drew in my hand and was turning around,
In through the window, Kap came with a bound.
He had Kinetic Energy, from the Potential he fell,
And his neurons were churning from what I could tell.
A bundle of fibers he had on his back,
The H zone and I band, I saw them contract.
His theorems how they twinkled, his constants so merry!
Like mag-forces on charges but only when hurried!
Like charges repel and closer opposites go,
He reminded me current was a positive flow.
The stump of a half cell he held in his hand,
"If Galvanic" he said, "then E's positive friend"
In the other hand he held a small pump,
"Remember 3 in for 2 out, in case you get stumped."
He was chubby and plump, like a cell in a hypotonic solution,
Then I said, "root of k over m is the frequency of revolution."
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
"You got it my friend you have nothing to dread."
He spoke not a word, he worked very quickly,
Polishing pencils, and packing exam tickets safely,
And then laying a finger aside his brain,
"It's all in there, don't stress and it will come out okay!"
He sprang out the window with a force of ?kx,
And away from the house he continued his trek.
But I heard him exclaim as he walked out of sight,
"Best Wishes on The MCAT to all, and to all a good-night!"
Gesundheit) 
