Unhappy in medical school

[mango1509]

So I was an idiot and decided to go to a medical school in a state that I didn't want to have anything to do with. As a result, I don't know anyone here and all of my loved ones and friends are back in New York, where I'm from. Medical school is hard enough but this really adds to the stress and unhappiness. At the same time I don't enjoy medical school. At first I decided to do medicine because I was mildly interested in using medicine to help/cure people. But as the weeks go by and I'm learning how to take a history, use the EHR, and other doctor stuff, I find myself slowly not caring anymore. Shouldn't I be excited to learn these skills? Because I'm not, I just think it's work.

I'm doing pretty well (above 90% on the first block exam) but consider myself super unhappy. I sometimes tell myself to just bear with it for 4 years then go back home to NY but I feel this is wrong - I should enjoy myself in the moment. These are my current thoughts and I feel very hopeless. Sometimes I want to quit medicine and go back to NY asap and sometimes I even feel suicidal. Is there anything I can do to be happier?

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[M&L]

So I was an idiot and decided to go to a medical school in a state that I didn't want to have anything to do with. As a result, I don't know anyone here and all of my loved ones and friends are back in New York, where I'm from. Medical school is hard enough but this really adds to the stress and unhappiness. At the same time I don't enjoy medical school. At first I decided to do medicine because I was mildly interested in using medicine to help/cure people. But as the weeks go by and I'm learning how to take a history, use the EHR, and other doctor stuff, I find myself slowly not caring anymore. I'm doing pretty well (above 90% on the first block exam) but consider myself super unhappy. I sometimes tell myself to just bear with it for 4 years then go back home to NY but I feel this is wrong - I should enjoy myself in the moment. These are my current thoughts and I feel very hopeless. Sometimes I want to quit medicine and go back to NY asap and sometimes I even feel suicidal. Is there anything I can do to be happier?

What do you do in your free time ?

 

[mango1509]

Thanks so much for listening.

I hang out with the new friends I meet sometimes, watch anime, go to the gym, call my family back home, etc.

 

[M&L]

Thanks so much for listening.

I hang out with the new friends I meet sometimes, watch anime, go to the gym, call my family back home, etc.

First of all , make appointment with mental health counselor at your school . It should be included into your student health insurance . This is very important , especially since you are saying that you are feeling suicidal . We are not qualified to give you mental health advice Without proper assessment .

a few other things - is it possible that you are studying too much ? Not devoting enough time for wellness .
1) find your essays , and go back to that moment when you applied . Re-reading them might help you get that spark back .
2) make a list of fun things you want to explore in the area - seriously , make a list of things you want to do there .It is possible that creating more memories will help you connec with the place more

3) avoid alcohol , it is a depressant
4) ask a few locals what there favorite places are, and what they like to do for fun
5) look into potential option of transferring after second year

 

[LunaOri]

First, please seek counselling/psychotherapy. You need to find help to stop feeling suicidal; that's what's most important right now. We will be here to help you with the other stuff when you are feeling safe and ready to tackle it.

 

[RunsOnCaffeine]

Seek help for your mental health issues asap.

If you feel like you are starting to despair, I would strongly suggest that you think about taking a break from school for a year to get your mental health under control and evaluate whether medicine is right for you and your goals. There is no shame in taking a break. Ask yourself whether it is the location that is the issue or whether it is the information being taught that you have lost interest in. Medicine is not something I would have done with only a mild interest in it.

 

[Goro]

So I was an idiot and decided to go to a medical school in a state that I didn't want to have anything to do with. As a result, I don't know anyone here and all of my loved ones and friends are back in New York, where I'm from. Medical school is hard enough but this really adds to the stress and unhappiness. At the same time I don't enjoy medical school. At first I decided to do medicine because I was mildly interested in using medicine to help/cure people. But as the weeks go by and I'm learning how to take a history, use the EHR, and other doctor stuff, I find myself slowly not caring anymore. Shouldn't I be excited to learn these skills? Because I'm not, I just think it's work.

I'm doing pretty well (above 90% on the first block exam) but consider myself super unhappy. I sometimes tell myself to just bear with it for 4 years then go back home to NY but I feel this is wrong - I should enjoy myself in the moment. These are my current thoughts and I feel very hopeless. Sometimes I want to quit medicine and go back to NY asap and sometimes I even feel suicidal. Is there anything I can do to be happier?

Depression is poorly managed on anonymous message boards. Go seek out your school's counseling center and get some help.

 

[Medisaint]

So I was an idiot and decided to go to a medical school in a state that I didn't want to have anything to do with. As a result, I don't know anyone here and all of my loved ones and friends are back in New York, where I'm from. Medical school is hard enough but this really adds to the stress and unhappiness. At the same time I don't enjoy medical school. At first I decided to do medicine because I was mildly interested in using medicine to help/cure people. But as the weeks go by and I'm learning how to take a history, use the EHR, and other doctor stuff, I find myself slowly not caring anymore. Shouldn't I be excited to learn these skills? Because I'm not, I just think it's work.

I'm doing pretty well (above 90% on the first block exam) but consider myself super unhappy. I sometimes tell myself to just bear with it for 4 years then go back home to NY but I feel this is wrong - I should enjoy myself in the moment. These are my current thoughts and I feel very hopeless. Sometimes I want to quit medicine and go back to NY asap and sometimes I even feel suicidal. Is there anything I can do to be happier?

I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch.

You've alluded to a number of misgivings about your current situation. Med school blues are not uncommon, and can occur for a variety of reasons. Going from undergrad to med school is a huge transition. The work load skyrockets as your free time plummets, you may be away from home for the first time, you are finally training to work in the real world, and you finally get a glimpse of what medicine is REALLY like. It is easy for things like this to affect a person's mood.

Based on what you've written it sounds like you're dealing with multiple overlapping issues that need to be untangled and addressed individually. First and foremost of these is the mental health aspect. If you are feeling suicidal you need to seek help of some sort immediately. Your school will almost certainly have counseling services or you can make an appointment through your own insurance. Don't neglect this.

You have a lot of complicated questions to work out--what are your career goals? Your true motivations for medicine? What will make you happy and feel fulfilled? How do you deal with the negative thoughts you're having? SDN is great for getting diverse perspectives on a focused topic but you won't find the kind of answers you're looking for here. Again reach out to a mental health professional as the first step and take as much time off as you need to. Medicine will always be here.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

This thread has been reported by several users due to the comments about self-harm. SDN takes such statements seriously and we would like to remind the OP and all posters that SDN should not serve as a place to obtain counseling or other advice regarding significant psychological issues. Anyone who is contemplating harming themselves should immediately seek professional counseling advice, not rely on SDN or other non-professional resources.

Members who have serious concerns about their career and would like to post details more anonymously may do so in the Confidential Consult forum.

At this time, given the nature of the thread and the concerns expressed, the moderation staff of SDN will close this thread.