Unique situation: worried about research and imposing on PI

[lolpremed22]

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PLEASE DO NOT QUOTE as I would like to preserve my anonymity.

I've finished my freshman year and I'm not really sure where to go from here. I've secured a couple of invites to join 2 different labs doing basic science research. However, this is where things get a little complicated. A family member of mine connected me with a pretty amazing doctor that is very influential at my school's affiliated hospital (think "Chief of ___"). I shadowed him for a few days but ended up having to cut it short as I was overwhelmed with school at the time. However, he gave me an open-ended invitation to email him if I ever want to shadow again, and said he would give me a "research experience". This doctor is also on the faculty at my school's medical school, and the research he's doing is pretty amazing. However, I feel a little uncomfortable with the fact that I was connected to him by a family member (who is also a doctor and refers patients to him). I can't help but feel that asking him to join his lab would be imposing, and that it might put him in an uncomfortable situation as he has a professional relationship with my family member and feels that he has to rather than because he genuinely wants me in his lab. His research is amazing and from what I've seen from shadowing him he is an amazing physician and could be an amazing mentor to me, but for some reason I feel uncomfortable knowing that I didn't earn this opportunity on my own. Furthermore, I'm not entirely sure if by giving me a "research experience" he meant just showing me around his lab, or actually allowing me to work in his lab. I would feel horrible putting him an uncomfortable situation and asking him to join his lab if that isn't what he intended. I'm also not even sure if his lab takes undergrads as it is pretty complicated research.

So I guess my questions are: Would I be better off just taking one of two positions I got completely by myself? Would shadowing him more and joining his lab improve my chances of getting into medical school as he has ties to the med school (he isn't on the ADCOM as far as I know but I don't really know how these things work). Lastly, am I being irrational about the whole concern with imposing since I was connected by a family member?

 

[lolpremed22]

@LizzyM @gyngyn @Goro

 

[SpineResearcher]

Yes I do believe you're being irrational about the whole concern about imposing, even if the physician is a family friend I assure you he wouldn't invite you to do research with him if he didn't believe in your ability.
With regards to not earning the opportunity on your own...that is not a reason to avoid the opportunity. For example, consider someone who has the money to buy all the MCAT prep books or classes in the world...and for that specific person it would improve his or her score. Should that person say, "oh I didn't earn this and others don't have the books so I shouldn't use this opportunity?"
Your parents have a "social capital" you may have learned about taking the MCAT, and they probably worked hard for it... The real question is will you use the opportunity? Its about how you take advantage of what you have and how you improve with it. Maybe getting into that lab was an opportunity you didn't earn, but what about when you go to the lab...spend a couple years, become very skilled in a specific subject, spend hours researching/writing and get published. Then, one day you open your own lab and you find a novel treatment for a group of people who would have remained sick otherwise. All of that would have been you, not someone else. Use what you're given and then put in the effort, its the right thing to do.

 

[Goro]

You may think he's influential, bur other people might not have heard of him.

It's still a good opportunity. Take it

 

[lolpremed22]

Bump


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

 

[JustAPhD]

Ask him to clarify what he meant by research experience so that you can make an informed decision and not play around in theoreticals.

Also, don't feel bad if you end up taking the opportunity. Life is 80% who you know and 20% what you know. You have a connection. Don't feel bad using it, that's life.

 

[solnushka]

Lol only reason I got my research position is because a family member of mine finished her fellowship with my PI...nepotism makes the world go 'round.

 

[yoyoyoyoyolee]

PLEASE DO NOT QUOTE as I would like to preserve my anonymity.

I've finished my freshman year and I'm not really sure where to go from here. I've secured a couple of invites to join 2 different labs doing basic science research. However, this is where things get a little complicated. A family member of mine connected me with a pretty amazing doctor that is very influential at my school's affiliated hospital (think "Chief of ___"). I shadowed him for a few days but ended up having to cut it short as I was overwhelmed with school at the time. However, he gave me an open-ended invitation to email him if I ever want to shadow again, and said he would give me a "research experience". This doctor is also on the faculty at my school's medical school, and the research he's doing is pretty amazing. However, I feel a little uncomfortable with the fact that I was connected to him by a family member (who is also a doctor and refers patients to him). I can't help but feel that asking him to join his lab would be imposing, and that it might put him in an uncomfortable situation as he has a professional relationship with my family member and feels that he has to rather than because he genuinely wants me in his lab. His research is amazing and from what I've seen from shadowing him he is an amazing physician and could be an amazing mentor to me, but for some reason I feel uncomfortable knowing that I didn't earn this opportunity on my own. Furthermore, I'm not entirely sure if by giving me a "research experience" he meant just showing me around his lab, or actually allowing me to work in his lab. I would feel horrible putting him an uncomfortable situation and asking him to join his lab if that isn't what he intended. I'm also not even sure if his lab takes undergrads as it is pretty complicated research.

So I guess my questions are: Would I be better off just taking one of two positions I got completely by myself? Would shadowing him more and joining his lab improve my chances of getting into medical school as he has ties to the med school (he isn't on the ADCOM as far as I know but I don't really know how these things work). Lastly, am I being irrational about the whole concern with imposing since I was connected by a family member?

Not really sure

 

[DrfluffyMD]

Use all resources at your disposal. Nepotism runs rampant in medicine. If others do it, you should do it too.

 

[lolpremed22]

Not really sure

Hey do you think you could you delete your quote? I was planning on deleting this post

 

[Doctor-S]

I don't care how a pre-med student is referred to me. Ditto for med students, residents, grad students and fellows.

If an individual is a solid candidate, I will be happy to meet with them. If they're an excellent fit with my work, I may bring them on board. If not, I thank them for their interest. Or, I might refer them to another doctor who might be looking for an individual such as them.

FWIW ... it's still my final decision and has nothing to do with "connections."

If you want to be accepted to my medical school, you still have to be accepted on your own merits, and not on mine. Just saying.

 

[cactusman]

Hey do you think you could you delete your quote? I was planning on deleting this post

Sorry, I think he's just being a jerk since you asked not to quote. As long as you don't name your undergrad or state of residence or go into specifics about other situations or ECs, you should be pretty anonymous, though.

PS: Let me know if I should delete, I figured the post I quoted didn't contain info that would help ID you but I don't want to make you uncomfortable.