Unprofessional residency activities.. Is this normal?

[dpmd]

Srsly.

If it was called, "lemonade and liverwurst" I'd be much less inclined to go.

Though I would be all over a lemonade and lumpia night as well.

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[Winged Scapula]

Though I would be all over a lemonade and lumpia night as well.

I think I may steal that for a party idea.

You could make it "lemonade and liver (rounds)".

Although I second the idea of lumpia or lamb vindaloo.

 

[PTPoeny]

Vodka and vindaloo?

Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk

 

[LucidSplash]

I think I just decided on the theme of my first apartment warming soirée. I don't even like straight tequila but I can get behind a massive taco bar. And margaritas. Sounds like a good post boards plan.

 

[ortnakas]

Agreed. If a program has a high contingent of married residents and students, then spouses are more likely to be thought of and included. It sounds as if the OP's husband is not in one of those programs.

Not a resident yet, but I'm married and in my 30s, and I agree with this. I really doubt the residents invited him over for tequila, tacos, advice and sex (the tequila and tacos part sounds pretty good though). For what it's worth, almost any time I've been invited to something and asked if my husband can tag along the answer was an enthusiastic "sure!" And a good chunk of the time, everyone talks about med school and he's bored. The reverse is true when I'm the +1 to his work events.

More likely scenarios are:

1) OP is actually invited but it was never explicitly said because residents didn't think they even needed to mention it
2) OP is actually invited but it was never explicitly said because residents are socially awkward
3) OP isn't NOT invited, but all of the senior residents are single so it didn't occur to them spouses might want to come
4) OP isn't NOT invited, but the residents didn't mention it because it really is more advice than tequila and they figured she'd be bored
5) OP isn't invited for the same reason as #4
6) OP may or may not be invited, but the conversation wasn't clear and husband is too awkward to actually ask
7) OP isn't invited because the residents figured she would be bored and didn't realize it would be awkward to not include her

 

[DrfluffyMD]

Not a resident yet, but I'm married and in my 30s, and I agree with this. I really doubt the residents invited him over for tequila, tacos, advice and sex (the tequila and tacos part sounds pretty good though). For what it's worth, almost any time I've been invited to something and asked if my husband can tag along the answer was an enthusiastic "sure!" And a good chunk of the time, everyone talks about med school and he's bored. The reverse is true when I'm the +1 to his work events.

More likely scenarios are:

1) OP is actually invited but it was never explicitly said because residents didn't think they even needed to mention it
2) OP is actually invited but it was never explicitly said because residents are socially awkward
3) OP isn't NOT invited, but all of the senior residents are single so it didn't occur to them spouses might want to come
4) OP isn't NOT invited, but the residents didn't mention it because it really is more advice than tequila and they figured she'd be bored
5) OP isn't invited for the same reason as #4
6) OP may or may not be invited, but the conversation wasn't clear and husband is too awkward to actually ask
7) OP isn't invited because the residents figured she would be bored and didn't realize it would be awkward to not include her

Or 8
OP isn't invited because he downplayed the fact that he is married and his senior residents don't know she exist. I would worry about that especially we know he cheated before.

 

[Winged Scapula]

I think I just decided on the theme of my first apartment warming soirée. I don't even like straight tequila but I can get behind a massive taco bar. And margaritas. Sounds like a good post boards plan.

Just don't invite any married interns, you being a single female and all.

 

[alpinism]

Sounds like a completely normal (and fun) orientation dinner for the new interns.

The one thing other posters haven't addressed that OP mentioned was the timing of the dinner late at night. To outsiders this may seen a little unusual or even unprofessional however in residency many rotations have you working till 6 or maybe even 7 at night and having an early dinner is just not possible or practical. In their case having the interns over for food and drinks at 8 might be the only time the residents can meet up and talk after work.

 

[LucidSplash]

Just don't invite any married interns, you being a single female and all.

Damn such easy prey too. From one budding cougar to an alpha female, when do I get to call myself a true cougar?

 

[dpmd]

Sounds like a completely normal (and fun) orientation dinner for the new interns.

The one thing other posters haven't addressed that OP mentioned was the timing of the dinner late at night. To outsiders this may seen a little unusual or even unprofessional however in residency many rotations have you working till 6 or maybe even 7 at night and having an early dinner is just not possible or practical. In their case having the interns over for food and drinks at 8 might be the only time the residents can meet up and talk after work.

Yeah, I guess we all knew it was late because that is when everyone is done but good to verbalize that for the op.

 

[dpmd]

Damn such easy prey too. From one budding cougar to an alpha female, when do I get to call myself a true cougar?

That reminds me, my husband evidently believes a cougar is just a woman of a certain age (rather than an older woman who seeks out younger guys) so he refers to me as one on occasion. I keep telling him that if he insists on calling me one I might just have to act like one.

 

[Winged Scapula]

Damn such easy prey too. From one budding cougar to an alpha female, when do I get to call myself a true cougar?

The criteria are:

age over 35 (some say 40)
prey usually 10 years younger than you

My advice to you is not to go 10 years younger than your age because I have found that most men in that age group are still in the "hey you wanna see my new bong" phase. Late 20s is when it starts to change in most cases.

Good luck!

 

[Light at end of tunnel]

The criteria are:

age over 35 (some say 40)
prey usually 10 years younger than you

My advice to you is not to go 10 years younger than your age because I have found that most men in that age group are still in the "hey you wanna see my new bong" phase. Late 20s is when it starts to change in most cases.

Good luck!

Nice

 

[Raryn]

The criteria are:

age over 35 (some say 40)
prey usually 10 years younger than you

My advice to you is not to go 10 years younger than your age because I have found that most men in that age group are still in the "hey you wanna see my new bong" phase. Late 20s is when it starts to change in most cases.

Good luck!

I'd add a minimum effort requirement to be a true Cougar.

That is, a true Cougar is always dressed to the 9s when she's on the prowl. A degree of hotness helps too, but definitely the effort

 

[ThoracicGuy]

 

[atomi]

OP,

You really need to elaborate on what his "cheating" was in the past. Cheating is different things to different people. Was he just flirting with a girl? Was he dancing/grinding? Did he make out with a girl at the bar? Did he get a bj in the bathroom? Did he go home with her and have a one night stand? Was it a one time thing where he was drunk or did he go out looking for it sober? Did he have an affair that went on for months? Etc. Etc.

Whether or not your reaction is reasonable depends on what he did before. Regardless, If you can't get over it and trust him you shouldn't be with him. When people get married they can still do things on their own with other groups of people. This is normal. Being a "ball and chain" is not. The issue is between you and him, not him and his co-resident. It is ridiculous to expect to get invited to all of his work functions.

 

[Goro]

You made me bellow out loud, laughing on that one, TG!

 

[Shikima]

So, help me understand what is unprofessional about this? Is there an ethics violation?
Appears to be more about marital issues than a professional issue.

 

[evilbooyaa]

So, help me understand what is unprofessional about this? Is there an ethics violation?
Appears to be more about marital issues than a professional issue.

The spread of 'doing things in the name of professionalism' has infiltrated even those that are not IN medical school, it seems.

 

[Shikima]

Like Sand Through The Hourglass... So Are The Days Of Our Lives ...