Acceptance wanted. Tired of going home every night, checking mailbox, seeing nothing, and crying to sleep. Good look, excellent GPA, stellar MCAT, extensive ECs. Likes playing with blood, cutting things up, writing illegibly, wearing white coats. Enjoys taking history, dinners for two, listening to hearts, walking on the beach at sunset, writing prescriptions, cuddling in front of fireplace. Seeks nice school, look not important, good hospitals a plus. If interested, send acceptance as soon as possible. Will return favor and attend. Thanks.