Was saying I took my dad to court during an interview a mistake?

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malamia

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Hey..

When asked about difficult decisions, I told a story about how my dad randomly stopped paying "child support" in the middle of my college career and I had to take him to court for it. (If I am studying, he legally has to continue until I graduate.) If he stopped I couldn't have afforded college.

Does this make me look like a crappy person? Do you think it could have been bad for my interview?

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I can't say, but it's honest, and it doesn't make you a crappy person at all.
 
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As long as your frame it in a way that expressed how you were being responsible and doing what was best for your future then yes you'll be fine. If there was anyway you came off as entitled or ungrateful then that could be bad (not saying you are or did). Tough life situation OP, glad you got through it and stuck to your guns.
 
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Hey..

When asked about difficult decisions, I told a story about how my dad randomly stopped paying "child support" in the middle of my college career and I had to take him to court for it. (If I am studying, he legally has to continue until I graduate.) If he stopped I couldn't have afforded college.

Does this make me look like a crappy person? Do you think it could have been bad for my interview?
Wait, you can get child support past age 18?
Not sure why I'm asking, since we never managed/bothered to get any money prior to age 18 (can't squeeze blood from a stone) but it's still interesting info.
 
Wait, you can get child support past age 18?
Not sure why I'm asking, since we never managed/bothered to get any money prior to age 18 (can't squeeze blood from a stone) but it's still interesting info.

It depends on your state and/or what the court order, or divorce settlement that includes child support parameters states.

So for personal family situations in both Illinois and Missouri, one family member pays child support and if said child graduates from high school and goes to college, child support must be continued until graduation or until the child drops out.
 
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It depends on your state and/or what the court order, or divorce settlement that includes child support parameters states.

So for personal family situations in both Illinois and Missouri, one family member pays child support and if said child graduates from high school and goes to college, child support must be continued until graduation or until the child drops out.
Cool, good to know!
 
Cool, good to know!

It may be if there is back child support owed you could still have wages garnished as well.
Again, depends a lot on the state, but happens a lot here.
 
It may be if there is back child support owed you could still have wages garnished as well.
Again, depends a lot on the state, but happens a lot here.
Haha, the person has to have wages in order to have them garnished.
At any rate, I'm 25 now and out of college. It was purely an academic question because I had never heard of that policy (though I like the concept).
 
Haha, the person has to have wages in order to have them garnished.
At any rate, I'm 25 now and out of college. It was purely an academic question because I had never heard of that policy (though I like the concept).

Ah, I see.

It is interesting, though, what some states allow and others don't.
My ex had an older step dad who had to pay child support for one of his younger children from his social security/disability check.
Although, I think he got another SS check for her...so it's possible it was just the extra check he was given, he had to pass on.


Anyway, OP, it doesn't make you sound like a bad person.

It's a really unpleasant situation and I'm sorry you had to deal with it.
 
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Hey..

When asked about difficult decisions, I told a story about how my dad randomly stopped paying "child support" in the middle of my college career and I had to take him to court for it. (If I am studying, he legally has to continue until I graduate.) If he stopped I couldn't have afforded college.

Does this make me look like a crappy person? Do you think it could have been bad for my interview?
I was asked a similar question at an interview (accepted), and I talked about my dad for a similar reason. I can't speak for your interviewer, but I think the interviewer is more interested in how you acted in the situation, and probably thinking "malamia will be making difficult decisions as a doctor, will you be able to handle making these decisions".
 
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Thank you all for the replies!

I know I can't change anything.. But hearing other peoples' opinions might calm my anxiety while I wait for a response, I just wanted to know what you all think about it. Lol
 
Hey..

When asked about difficult decisions, I told a story about how my dad randomly stopped paying "child support" in the middle of my college career and I had to take him to court for it. (If I am studying, he legally has to continue until I graduate.) If he stopped I couldn't have afforded college.

Does this make me look like a crappy person? Do you think it could have been bad for my interview?

To be safe, you may want to come up with another difficult decision for future interviews. And/or clarify (if it comes up again) that your father's income (but without that promised financial support) would have prevented you from qualifying for the loans you would have needed to complete your college.
 
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To be safe, you may want to come up with another difficult decision for future interviews. And/or clarify (if it comes up again) that your father's income (but without that promised financial support) would have prevented you from qualifying for the loans you would have needed to complete your college.

Well, thankfully, I did clarify that.
 
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Hey..

When asked about difficult decisions, I told a story about how my dad randomly stopped paying "child support" in the middle of my college career and I had to take him to court for it. (If I am studying, he legally has to continue until I graduate.) If he stopped I couldn't have afforded college.

Does this make me look like a crappy person? Do you think it could have been bad for my interview?

Obviously, it was difficult... if it were not difficult to take your father to court to get what he was obligated by law to provide to you so that you could finish school, you would not have brought it up at interview. If it were not difficult, one might wonder about your heart and if it were not difficult to decide to forego taking him to court, one would wonder about your head. That you found it difficult, would, in my book, be a good call and how you dealt with that difficult situation and how you resolved it is what the interviewer was seeking.
 
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It is far better to discuss how you "turned your Dad in" than bringing him with you to the interview!
Edit: Dealing well with a difficult relationship is better than evidence of prolonged dependence.
 
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Bit of an odd thing to bring up, but no, I don't think it's a particularly bad answer. Could there have been better answers? Maybe, maybe not depending on how you talked about this situation.

Yea, I tried to be OK with it, but it feels like a really odd thing to bring up to me too. IDK, like awkward. But as Gonnif has said. It's done. Now, it might have been more of a winner, OP, if somehow your dad had come back to you and said, "Son. I was being a hardazz (OK, you'd say stubborn or such instead.)"... but this experience with you has allowed me to see how important this is, and I would have regretted it if I never had tried to help you." That may not have happened, and may never happen--at least not for a while...maybe one day.
Point being, if it had had more of a happy ending, it would not cause people to feel as awkward about the example.
Next time, pick something else I think.
 
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It is far better to discuss how you "turned your Dad in" than bringing him with you to the interview!

I'm not sure I'm following

Yea, I tried to be OK with it, but it feels like a really odd thing to bring up to me too. IDK, like awkward. But as Gonnif has said. It's done. Now, it might have been more of a winner, OP, if somehow your dad had come back to you and said, "Son. I was being a hardazz (OK, you'd say stubborn or such instead.)"... but this experience with you has allowed me to see how important this is, and I would have regretted it if I never had tried to help you." That may not have happened, and may never happen--at least not for a while...maybe one day.
Point being, if it had had more of a happy ending, it would not cause people to feel as awkward about the example.
Next time, pick something else I think.

They asked about my toughest decision and that's it. I was honest, that's why I brought it up. I did tell them that the issue got resolved and we are all good now, however.

Obviously, it was difficult... if it were not difficult to take your father to court to get what he was obligated by law to provide to you so that you could finish school, you would not have brought it up at interview. If it were not difficult, one might wonder about your heart and if it were not difficult to decide to forego taking him to court, one would wonder about your head. That you found it difficult, would, in my book, be a good call and how you dealt with that difficult situation and how you resolved it is what the interviewer was seeking.

Very reassuring. Thanks!
 
I'm not sure I'm following



They asked about my toughest decision and that's it. I was honest, that's why I brought it up. I did tell them that the issue got resolved and we are all good now, however.



Very reassuring. Thanks!


Well, that's good then. Makes it the more on the triumphant/upside of things, I think.

I think gyngyn was joking with you. She was playing w/ the literal.
This kind of thing can get lost online. :)
 
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I'm not sure I'm following



They asked about my toughest decision and that's it. I was honest, that's why I brought it up. I did tell them that the issue got resolved and we are all good now, however.



Very reassuring. Thanks!

I think what gyngyn meant was that it's better to have discussed difficulties you've faced with your father (shows personal struggles, maturity, experience), rather than be that kid who's dad brings them to the interview (shows that you're probably a coddled kid with no real life experience or perhaps anxiety issues).
 
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I have had applicants, usually nontrads, who have had extreme issues and challenges in their lives and have brought them up in applications or interviews as it is pertinent to their motivation, commitment and achievement. Not in anyway to make light of the OPs difficult decision to have legally confronted while in college, it is just above a flat tire to some applicant's who's must discuss their car wreck of a life from forces external to them.

Yes, I have concerns about sharing any "car wreck" information. I don't like sharing things like that with people I am not close. Especially in light of notion that my story may somehow be compared and contrasted with the stories of others. I don't know. That feels weird--to share such for an interview. I supposed it's how one works it all in with everything that motivates the person toward medicine. Everyone has their tales of woe. It feels a little like some kind of psychological gross anatomy and the interviewee is the cadaver. LOL
 
For some people its has a direct impact on something that may need to understood on an application or interview. I have had people discuss their academic record deficiencies due to such things as being a young immigrant starting school with almost English, forced in arranged marriage with someone nearly twice their age, being homeless on the streets as a teen, divorce, home foreclosure, and many other issues that would seem so atypical to a medical school applicant that adcom would be shocked. Yet, this cycle or the last, I have had to deal with multiple applicants having such deep issues

Understandable, but still weird to me--sharing my life woes with a panel of strangers, all to get into medical school. Ick.

Guess I should have added a :) with that Ick.
 
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But think about this. If your ability to deal with your life woes have given insight to how to overcome a challenge, preserve, deal with stress, etc, wouldnt that be a quality one would want in a physician? At the very least it gives experience to go with empathy that a doctor should have. And if those woes have affected your academic record, it maybe worthwhile to discuss them.

This is in no way saying that you must discuss them. You certainly can keep them to yourself. I just wanted you to think about it for yourself and understand a different perspective.

Ironically this thread made me realized that my own issues, my deep dark holes that I have spent far too much time in during the course of my life, have been coming back. I just left a msg for my therapist to discuss them. When you need help, you should get it.

ITA. There are things, however, that are extraordinarily difficult to discuss in a group of strangers, who have no deep interest in you, other than as a student and potential doc. I mean that's fine. But some things are hard enough to discuss with those that do have a genuine and deeper interest in you. Some things require safety and trust in order to share. It's tough to see any interview scenario as being a safe, trusting space.
 
I understand completely being originally trained as an MSW and as someone who has lived in some pretty dark deep holes


An MSW huh? It totally makes sense, b/c your responses are generally non-instigatory and non-judgmental. :) Darn if you were in my interview, you'd probably have me spilling my guts. Holy crap. LOL
 
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