- Joined
- Nov 27, 2002
- Messages
- 7,890
- Reaction score
- 752
- Ending patient encounters with ILL SEE YOU IN HELL!
- Pass group of young women on street and only thought is Vag bleeders.
- Able to eat, sleep, talk on phone, read newspaper, etc. in same room as corpse and not think its weird.
- Just sort of assume that everyone under 60 is on meth and everyone over is demented.
- Youve ever just thrown away a brand new pair of shoes after a day at work.
- Are able to listen to and even retell, with a straight face, entire description of how can opener wound up in rectum.
- Have ever intubated someone to avoid talking to them.
- Believe you can diagnose a UTI by smell.
- Have had threshold for what constitutes a lot of blood permanently raised to Dawn of the Dead levels.
- Mental pain scale is 1-7=nothing, 7-9=might have some pain, 10=malingering.
- Feel its not really hyperglycemia if the glucometer can read it.
- Have ever run a pregnancy test on a 55 yo F because youve been burned before.
- Have quit arguing about it and just order the foley that the nurse already put in.
- Have ever said Its not Sunday. Its Wednesday. Its not July. Its January. And even if it were 1978 Truman wouldnt be the president now would he?
- Get terribly angry when you see people doing stupid things like riding a motorcycle with flip flops.
- You agree that ATVs should be called quads but not because they have four wheels.
- Have ever looked in the Bible for verification that mankind was given Haldol by God and Demerol by Satan.
- A patient ends a long story that involves a hooker, a crack pipe, foul smelling discharge and a baggie full of oregano with the phrase "You know what I mean, Doc?" and you know what he means.
- Youve ever stripped down naked outside your house and walked directly to the shower after a day at work.
- Youve ever explained to someone how to use an anoscope (including the story about how your residency classmate proved you must always wear a face shield when using said device) while eating lunch and it didnt seem odd.
- You told a demented patient they were wrong about the month and then realized that while they were wrong you were wrong too.
- You just naturally shout at anyone over the age of 55 or so because you assume theyre hard of hearing. Bonus points if youve ever accidentally done it in a social setting. Grand prize if youve ever done it to your inlaws.