What about marriage and a family?

[Beanz111]

I was wonder for those of you that are either starting or almost near the end of med school how do those that desire to get married or have children handle med school and residencies? Is there an extremely small percentage of women that attend/continue med school while pregnant? what are the realistic chances of having children and juggling being a med student and reseidencies?
Thanx Bean

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[babyruth]

If you search SDN, you will find a plethora of moms, soon-to-be moms, dads, and married people. MEd school isn't only limited to the single person anymore. My class continues to have children every year and the class before mine was even more proliferative. Anything is doable but requires variable sacrifices compared to the single person lifsestyle, and even then it isn't always a sacrifice.

I was married right before med school and have had absolutely no problems. He keeps me sane and separate from something that seems to take over your life. The only problem that we have is that my next year is clinicals and we will not be able to liv ein the same city because he is going out east for grad school. This will suck, but we'll manage.

Check out the thread "When to have a baby" on this forum and you will see lots of 'family' students.

 

[drlexygoat]

I'm mid-way through my first year and am currently planning my wedding in December. My fiancee and I debated for a while on when was the best time to get married. Since he's currently in law school, we had to find a break that we both had in common. Other than the scheduling issue, we haven't hit any snags yet!
No plans for kids any time soon, though.

 

[bigfrank]

I was wonder for those of you that are either starting or almost near the end of med school how do those that desire to get married or have children handle med school and residencies? Is there an extremely small percentage of women that attend/continue med school while pregnant? what are the realistic chances of having children and juggling being a med student and reseidencies?
Thanx Bean

Man or Woman, I think this is entirely dependent on your spouse and the relationship you share. It can certainly be done [very successfully] but you will both have to have realistic expectations. You probably can't thrive in medical school and your marriage if you want to play poker with your buddies every Tuesday and Friday night, for example. It comes down to prioritizing your time and each other.

 

[scootad.]

bigfrank, yer missing the word "care" in your new quote.

 

[bigfrank]

thanks, i'll fix that right now. Thanks fer keeping an eye on me.

 

[gwyn779]

Again, there have been plenty of threads on this topic, but I have known women who have had children every year of med school or residency. Not the same woman, of course, although I did hear about one who had a child each year of her residency, which seems more than a little crazy to me. The point is that it depends on you, your spouse, and often the rest of your family. Most of the people I know who have children during this time have some family close by that helps out quite often.

Personally, I got married in between 2nd and 3rd year of med school, though we've lived together for all 4. Sure, there have been stressful times, but you're going to get that no matter what you do. As for kids, I'm still pretty young (no time off), so I'll probably wait until after residency, but plenty of residents get pregnant, esp. family, peds, and ob residents. If I were older, I probably wouldn't wait.

 

[Pinki]

I'm a 2nd year gal - I had our first baby in Nov. B/C of a smooth L&D and recovery, I was able to finish finals and classes fulltime - even honored two of our four exams. I continue to be in school fulltime now. Having a baby in med school isn't that hard during 2nd year and I'm SO glad we did it. I've learned so much clinically from my daughter (poor thing gets ton of head to toe newborn exams!). It helps to have a supportive spouse, like I do, and family willing to help out when you first have the baby. It also helps out if you're not afraid to stop attending classes - my saving grace! We're planning on having another one in 4th year. Classmates (mainly the dwindling single ones) look at me bug-eyed when I tell them it's relatively simple to be a wife, mom and med student - we all "squander" a fair amount of time going out, traveling, internet, sports, whatever in our daily lives - I now "squander" mine with my daughter - way better than watching TV!
Hope that helps!

 

[sapience8x]

hi. i am a nontraditional student wife and mother of a soon to be 3yo and i will say that it i sthe hardest thing that i have ever done. parenting and marriage are hard as it is but add in med school and woo boy it is a doozy. i know people in various boats- who have done it and made it though okay , who have dropped out, who have gotten divorced and the only advice that i would give is that it is much easier to do when you are the only responsibility that you have- when you have to take care of no one else. socializing and a boy/girlfriend are great and add balance but when it is all said and done you can go back to your apartment and study as little or as much as you like and your time is your own.
that said, i also have known people who have taken this approach and delayed potential relationships and missed out on the "love of their life". many of my friends are just now finishing residency and want to be married and the furtehr along you get the harder it is to find a spouse.
in a nutshell, i guess whta i am saying fi you are heading down the aisle, then it can work out, if pregnancy happens it can work out, if you want to get pg and some time donw the road your ovaries will be shriveled and dried, you can get pregnant earlier and it will work out.
however if you are single with no prospects, don't worry about it. don't delay relationshps but don't force them either. you really are in a great spot to focus on your career. i wish i could go back to being 21, single and can just study all day and see my friends when i feel like it. i cant' and it's worrking out but i think that is ideal.