What Admissions Office Secretaries Really Do

[SolidGold]

Since there is nothing that is being brought up that is really informative in this lull period where the majority of us are sitting on our hands waiting for invites, I started to wonder what really happens when I send out those secondaries to all 32 schools I'm appliying to. Here is what I think happens:

1) Secretary takes letter from mailman.
2) Secreatry sees that this seems to be a secondary application from SolidGold.
3) Secretary starts to salivate.
4) Secretary wipes her lips.
5) Secretary uses a letter opener and cuts a small slit in the envelope, just big enough to slide my check out.
6) Secretary takes my check out.
7) Secretary crosses out "X Medical School" and replaces it with "Secretary".
8) Secretary places my envelope with application through the shredder.
9) Secretary goes on lunch break at the nearest bank.
10) Secretary buys lunch for herself on me.
11) Secretary comes back to office to send me a postcard stating that my file is complete.

What do you think happens to your secondaries?

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[ljube_02]

Banks dont accept checks if there is something crossed out.

 

[SolidGold]

Wow, are you really that bright?

 

[shamthis]

Secretaries work their asses off.

 

[SolidGold]

Not at some schools

 

[shamthis]

And not all secretaries are women.

 

[SolidGold]

Thats it, I think that I have proven my point! SDN has begun to be overun with newbies that are bringing this site down. Thats why SDN has begun to suck. Does anyone get that this is a lame attempt at humor?

Everyone is way too serious here, it was not like this in the past.

 

[shamthis]

I'm not new.

Maybe SDN's beginning to suck because informative and suspenseful posts like "Despair, Please Help" (created by me last year) have been replaced by chauvanistic, jaded posts like "What Admissions Office Secretaries Really Do" (created by you tonight).

"Newbies", ha. You're an elitist jerk...

 

[SMW]

1) Secretary takes armload of mail from mailperson.
2) Said mail cascades all over his/her desk and onto the floor, both behind
and in front of secretary's desk.
3) Secretary picks up mail from in front of desk
4) Secretary goes out to lunch.
5) Secretary answers phone from anxious pre-med applicant wanting to know if file is complete. Answers s/he does not know because data has not been entered into computer database.
6) Secretary picks up letter opener and starts to slit open what appears to be a secondary application.
7) Secretary answers phone again, taking call from anxious pre-med applicant wanting to know if epidemiology course meets the requirement for a science LOR.
8) Secretary picks up letter opener again, and finishes slitting the envelope.
9) Secretary answers phone again, taking call from anxious pre-med who wants to know if school screens for secondaries. Says no, and reminds applicant that this information is on admissions webpage.
10) Secretary takes secondary application out of envelope.
11) Secretary answers phone again......................................

Meanwhile Solid Gold's application waits stoically behind the desk, where it will remain for the next 20 years!

 

[SolidGold]

SDN has begun to suck because people like you are too serious about themselves and everything med school related. Funny that you call me an "elitist jerk" because it seems like you want only this place to be strictly business. I don't even know how someone as "intelligent" as you could discern even the slightlest amount of snobbishness from my post.

All I'm saying is that SDN has really lost a lot of luster because no one speaks their mind anymore. People like Doctora Foxy and A.Caveman used to do that.

Look at the number of views that some threads have: some have almost 30000 views, but only 280 posts. People are not speaking their minds out here anymore. All I wanted to do was bring a tad of humor to this place that seems only to be hung up on the most mundane aspects of the application process.

 

[shamthis]

you're So on the Money, Woman

 

[SolidGold]

Originally posted by SMW

9) Secretary answers phone again, taking call from anxious pre-med who wants to know if school screens for secondaries. Says no, and reminds applicant that this information is on admissions webpage.

I forgot about this one.

 

[SMW]

OK, children, calm down! Solid Gold was just trying to inject a little humor into the interminable waiting, much like a lot of threads from the "good old days" like History of SDN and Top Ten Signs you're ADDICTED TO SDN!!!

We can be both serious and lighthearted, can't we?

 

[SolidGold]

Exactly, can't we all just get along.

If you've read any of the other 308 posts that I've made, most of them have been serious.

 

[SMW]

Originally posted by shamthis
you're So on the Money, Woman

I love this, shamthis!! And, you know that I'm not a guy!!!!

Originally posted by SolidGold
Exactly, can't we all just get along.

If you've read any of the other 308 posts that I've made, most of them have been serious.

OK, now I want you and sham this to apologize to each other (I substituted in pre-school yesterday, so I've got this down ).

And let's have some more takes on what admissions office secretaries do all day!! Great idea for an entertaining diversion!!!

 

[shamthis]

*sniffle*
*looking down and away*
*face is all red and eyes watery*

*sobbing*

Sorry, Solid Gold. You're super.

 

[SolidGold]

Only if the "Token Reapplicant" Sham this goes first.

 

[SolidGold]

You're the best

BTW, sham this, I like that Avatar. My friend would get a kick out of that.

 

[shamthis]

Don't knock the reapplicant thing, solid, it was really out of my control. I did pretty well for myself- don't judge.

 

[SolidGold]

Hey, I'm a brother reapplicant too, don't get me wrong.

 

[shamthis]

I'm glad you like my stoner avatar. I call him "Perdedor".

 

[SMW]

I'm very proud of you both!

But, shamthis, we need your take on what admissions office secretaries do all day!!

 

[SolidGold]

I think you were on to something SMW when you said that they just answer our questions by telling us that all the info is on the website.

 

[SolidGold]

Originally posted by immediatespring
okay enough before it gets sexual!

Damn, I hope I did not come off as gay. That is if shamthis is a guy.

 

[SMW]

Originally posted by SolidGold
I think you were on to something SMW when you said that they just answer our questions by telling us that all the info is on the website.

I meant to imply that it was on the website, and the poor secretary couldn't get anything done because of everyone calling to ask stuff they could have found out for themselves. But, I realize it's not always on the website! But this thread is turning serious. We need some more humorous takes on what goes on in the admissions office!!!

 

[SMW]

Originally posted by SolidGold
Damn, I hope I did not come off as gay. That is if shamthis is a guy.

He is, and you can find out that and lots of other info about him by clicking on his profile. (And, no you did not come off as gay, immediatespring was making a joke remember those?)

 

[shamthis]

On a very serious note, I suspect administrative assistants have a major role in the admissions process. For example, I applied early decision last year to my state school. Because my credentials were decent and I went to a good school, and my interest was sincere, I thought I was a shOO-in. I was telephoned to interview the day after I submitted my application, on August 24, 2001. But then I got annoying and I called 1 or 2 times a week around decision-making time. It meant a lot to me and there was a big party coming up and I wanted something to celebrate. Needless to say, I was deferred to the regular-decision pile, then waitlisted, then rejected. Then again, 4 other schools rejected me post-interview- so other factors may have influenced the ultimate decision.

But the striking thing is, when I called this year- and I only called once, the administrator knew me by name. A whole year later... sort of makes you wonder... My state school has not offered me an interview yet this year- I submitted my application in late July. I do not expect an interview.

In fact, the schools I called so far this year- I only called once. And I am afraid of "counters" on admissions web pages. I hope schools do not see that I check my status 2, sometimes 3 times each day. I am a self-proclaimed obsessive waiter; I just want some closure, that's all. I really want to meet you all face to face so you recognize that I am more than a faceless 5-interview-failure/obsessive status-checker. I think boredom insipires this obsession, but that's another story.

To answer your question, I truly believe secretaries are busier and more powerful than any of us ever imagined.

Hesitantly,
Sham

 

[SolidGold]

Come one folks, I know for sure that there are people out there that joke about what Admission Offices do to your applications once behind closed doors.

 

[SolidGold]

Originally posted by SMW
He is, and you can find out that and lots of other info about him by clicking on his profile. (And, no you did not come off as gay, immediatespring was making a joke remember those?)

Thanks for reminding me

 

[SolidGold]

Originally posted by shamthis
On a very serious note, I suspect administrative assistants have a major role in the admissions process. For example, I applied early decision last year to my state school. Because my credentials were decent and I went to a good school, and my interest was sincere, I thought I was a shOO-in. I was telephoned to interview the day after I submitted my application, on August 24, 2001. But then I got annoying and I called 1 or 2 times a week around decision-making time. It meant a lot to me and there was a big party coming up. Needless to say, I deferred to the regular-decision pile, then waitlisted, then rejected. Then again, 4 other schools rejected me post-interview- so other factors may have influenced the ultimate decision.

But the striking thing is, when I called this year- and I only called once, the administrator knew me by name. A whole year later... sort of makes you wonder... My state school has not offered me an interview yet this year- I submitted my application in late July. I do not expect an interview.

In fact, the schols I called so far this year- I only called once. And I am afraid of "counters" on admissions web pages. I hope schools do not see that I check my status 2, sometimes 3 times each day. I am a self-proclaimed obsessive waiter; I just want some closure, that's all. I really want to meet you all face to face so you recognize that I am more than a faceless 5-interview-failure/obsessive status-checker. I think boredom insipires this obsession, but that's another story.

To answer your question, I truly believe secretaries are busier and more powerful than any of us ever imagined.

Hesitantly,
Sham

Don't get me wrong, I agree with you on what you just listed. I had a similar experience last year at the schools I thought I would get into, but alas, I'm here on SDN trying to get the latest from other people about the application process.

BTW, don't post anything "Hestitantly" You spoke your mind and told us something that is actually enlightening for a change. We need more of that here.

 

[SMW]

We know they're busy, shamthis, but we can still makes jokes about them. It's something to do while you're restraining yourself from calling 1-2 times/week!!

C'mon, someone must have another scenario!

 

[SolidGold]

Wow, I think its a little paranoid to be worried about hit counters on the med school websites actually. I'm a reapplicant too and I would love to get in this year, and I've been a little paranoid too. Even though they could potentially tell what applicants visit the site on an hourly basis, I don't think they worry themselves about that. Thats just a tad wierd.

 

[shamthis]

....you just never know...

 

[SMW]

OK, I guess this thread is never going to get back to joking (and it was such a good idea ). I visited all the on-line status check sites for those of my apps that had them compulsively, many, many times per day.

I got some acceptances, some waitlists and some rejects. I really don't think it had any influence whatsoever.

 

[SolidGold]

Well, I thought it was a good idea too. My friends and I joke about this kind of stuff all the time. I figured that there has to be other people who do it too. Anyone? (sound of crickets in background.......)

 

[BrainDrain]

There are some anal SDNers who also think that secretaries:

1. Check whether you typed/handwrote your secondary.

2. Check whether the font size/margins are to the exact specifications.

3. Check whether photos are passport size and are stapled/taped to the secondary.

4. Check whether the applicant is smiling/showing teeth in his/her photo.

 

[SMW]

Originally posted by BrainDrain
1. Check whether you typed/handwrote your secondary.

2. Check whether the font size/margins are to the exact specifications.

3. Check whether photos are passport size and are stapled/taped to the secondary.

4. Check whether the applicant is smiling/showing teeth in his/her photo.

Thank God for all of the hard-working secretaries who make sure all of this is done correctly!!!

 

[SolidGold]

OMG!!!!!!!!!! I had a strand of hair in the wrong place on my picture. Looks like I'll be reapplying for 2004.

 

[Bikini Princess]

-scoring applicant's envelopes for appearance/attention to detail
-deciding personality traits based on typewriting
-making paper airplanes out of personal statements
-designing essay questions like

who are you?

(please type or print using only the space provided above)

last of all, making a list of inappropiate suit colors for an interview

 

[Random Access]

Originally posted by Bikini Princess
last of all, making a list of inappropiate suit colors for an interview

What do you guys think about a purple suit, with a purple felt hat and a cane?

 

[SMW]

Originally posted by Random Access
What do you guys think about a purple suit, with a purple felt hat and a cane?

No, I think orange, the new SDN forum color, would be better!

 

[Random Access]

Originally posted by SMW
No, I think orange, the new SDN forum color, would be better!

Doh! I have to exchange it again? I started with fuschia, but people thought that was too loud... You like the felt hat, though, right?

 

[SMW]

Originally posted by Random Access
You like the felt hat, though, right?

Definitely, and keep the cane too!

 

[wolferman]

I agree. Dress like a pimp. And make sure to refer to all the secretaries as your ho's.

 

[Zoobaby]

Originally posted by wolferman
I agree. Dress like a pimp. And make sure to refer to all the secretaries as your ho's.

Yes, and first thing on interview day say "run and get me a cup of coffee, would ya Toots?"

 

[Random Access]

Originally posted by wolferman
I agree. Dress like a pimp. And make sure to refer to all the secretaries as your ho's.

Oh, and added bonus...and this is actually true...I drive a 1988 Town Car, affectionately known sometimes as the PimpMobile. It has fuzzy dice hanging from the rear view too.

-RA

 

[Random Access]

Originally posted by wolferman
I agree. Dress like a pimp. And make sure to refer to all the secretaries as your ho's.

And speaking of hoes... Gear Magazine in their hip hop issue did this comic strip on the results of white suburban kids listening to rap. In one of the frames, a dad is talking to his son and says:

You can't talk to your mom like that! She's not your bitch! She's my ho!

 

[Bounty]

Originally posted by Zoobaby
Yes, and first thing on interview day say "run and get me a cup of coffee, would ya Toots?"

hahah funny!

I wonder if the secretaries and adcoms talk smack about us...Im sure they do....


"I can't believe this girl wasted her money on us! hahaha, she thinks she has a chance! What a loser!"

 

[CyclinE]

lol! i expect the adcom secretaries are pretty busy though, honestly

 

[Random Access]

Originally posted by Bounty
hahah funny!

I wonder if the secretaries and adcoms talk smack about us...Im sure they do....


"I can't believe this girl wasted her money on us! hahaha, she thinks she has a chance! What a loser!"

They definitely talk smack. At least, I have a friend who works in the admissions office here (undergrad, not med), and she says it's like that. I'd imagine it's the same for med school admissions.

-RA