what am i supposed to do?

[jesse14]

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I know this thread might be pointless because there's really nothing that can be done about my situation but I’m going see what others think about my situation. Ok..... I am a very hard worker I try to do my best in everything I do in a school setting. I have a problem because I base my self-worth on how well I do in school. I feel that in order to be a successful, well-rounded person, I must get A's in school. I often see my peers doing better than me and it's not because they work any harder then me. It's so bad because when I find out that others I know do better than I do, I feel inferior to them and I shouldn't even be talking to them because I simply can’t compete. I am a nice person and care about my friends and family. I just can't seem to get the high grades I so want to and feel I need to in order to feel self-actualized. I often get depressed and feel worthless when I get a C+ or B in an exam or class (that’s between a 65 and 74% in Ontario Canada-where I’m from). I feel that it's useless and that I have to accept the fact that my friends will just do better than me in life. That’s right..life. I feel that good grades are the keys that open doors in life and I feel doors are slamming in my face left, right and center these days and I’m starting to get scared. I'm sorry to bug you soon to be MD's, but I feel I need some solid advice on what I can or should do in my situation.

 

[OddNath]

Lots of pre-meds think like this, whether they admit it or not. And you actually seem to be aware of exactly what's bothering you..which is a good start.

Numerical grades, just like your weight, appearance, or racing times are these superficial things that seem easy to control and easy to judge your self-worth by. But it's pointless, and meaningless. Especially the grades thing-- I made my share of C's and B-'s, and I'm doing fine. And I'm not the only one.

There are just..so many more important things in life than how your measure up. I'm not sure how this will get through to you, other than in terms of life experience. Even if you were making all A's right now-- would you be as inquisitive as you'd like to be? As in touch with friends and family? As aware of your own weaknesses? Those things, at least to me, are way more important.

It seems that part of the reason that you're not performing as well as you'd like is that you probably spend more time stressing out about not measuring up than letting the info sink in your head. I saw this alot in undergrad. Maybe if you were approaching studying with the "I'm just gonna try to learn this material the best I can, no matter what happens," you'd be much less stressed and maybe even doing better.

 

[MikeyLu2010]

i think the majority of the top 10 richest ppl are college dropouts...bill gates to name a few...so keep your head up..and realize that grades are not everything..

 

[Buck Strong]

I used to be the same way back in college...
But then I discovered the joys of alcohol, the wacky tobacky, and loose women. Getting A's isn't fun unless you can have fun along the way. And trust me, I wouldn't trade those A-/B+ for A's if it meant sacraficing all the memories I had during the college years. Plus, it gives you something to talk about during residency interviews besides what research you did sophomore year in college. The sooner you embrace your shortcomings, the happier you'll be. Plus...the B students who end up going to the mediocre MD/DO schools, do residencies at community programs and enter private practice end up making more money than the A+ students who go to harvard med, do residency at Hopkins, and aspire to a life of research and teaching at academic programs. Just my 2 cents...enjoy

 

[JohnUC33]

I know this thread might be pointless because there's really nothing that can be done about my situation but I’m going see what others think about my situation. Ok..... I am a very hard worker I try to do my best in everything I do in a school setting. I have a problem because I base my self-worth on how well I do in school. I feel that in order to be a successful, well-rounded person, I must get A's in school. I often see my peers doing better than me and it's not because they work any harder then me. It's so bad because when I find out that others I know do better than I do, I feel inferior to them and I shouldn't even be talking to them because I simply can’t compete. I am a nice person and care about my friends and family. I just can't seem to get the high grades I so want to and feel I need to in order to feel self-actualized. I often get depressed and feel worthless when I get a C+ or B in an exam or class (that’s between a 65 and 74% in Ontario Canada-where I’m from). I feel that it's useless and that I have to accept the fact that my friends will just do better than me in life. That’s right..life. I feel that good grades are the keys that open doors in life and I feel doors are slamming in my face left, right and center these days and I’m starting to get scared. I'm sorry to bug you soon to be MD's, but I feel I need some solid advice on what I can or should do in my situation.

Hey, man, I can agree a lot with you. At least you are admitting what you really think and thats good. Honestly, that competitive drive does not have to be a negative thing. I'm the type of person who is worried that I don't know as much as the "average" person. However, I just use the fear of falling short to push myself to study harder. I get mad at myself whenever I don't perform to the level I thought I should have. However, I never let it get me to down because my parents always instilled in me to not worry too much as long as I know I gave it my best. Before each exam or test, just use that "fear" to push yourself beyond your normal limits of study. After the exam, don't worry about your grade. Just know that you gave it your all. Try going to the teachers to determine what you did wrong and correct that on the next test. Other than that, just smile at the fact that you have not given up yet. Think of all your friends you know who have given up on education and are just working at jobs they hate. Hang in there and you'll be fine 😀

 

[OSUdoc08]

I know this thread might be pointless because there's really nothing that can be done about my situation but I’m going see what others think about my situation. Ok..... I am a very hard worker I try to do my best in everything I do in a school setting. I have a problem because I base my self-worth on how well I do in school. I feel that in order to be a successful, well-rounded person, I must get A's in school. I often see my peers doing better than me and it's not because they work any harder then me. It's so bad because when I find out that others I know do better than I do, I feel inferior to them and I shouldn't even be talking to them because I simply can’t compete. I am a nice person and care about my friends and family. I just can't seem to get the high grades I so want to and feel I need to in order to feel self-actualized. I often get depressed and feel worthless when I get a C+ or B in an exam or class (that’s between a 65 and 74% in Ontario Canada-where I’m from). I feel that it's useless and that I have to accept the fact that my friends will just do better than me in life. That’s right..life. I feel that good grades are the keys that open doors in life and I feel doors are slamming in my face left, right and center these days and I’m starting to get scared. I'm sorry to bug you soon to be MD's, but I feel I need some solid advice on what I can or should do in my situation.

1. Take some Xanax
2. Drink a cold beer
3. Get laid

 

[size_tens]

I think you need to put your education in perspective. Is your main motivation in studying to get a good grade and make you feel better about yourself? Or do you study to increase your pool of medical knowledge in order to benefit your future patients? If you concentrate on studying to learn to be a good doctor then I think you will be better off.

 

[MD2b20004]

I think you need to put your education in perspective. Is your main motivation in studying to get a good grade and make you feel better about yourself? Or do you study to increase your pool of medical knowledge in order to benefit your future patients? If you concentrate on studying to learn to be a good doctor then I think you will be better off.

Xanax works, but man does it make you tired and messes up with your memory, so watch out for Benzos and SSRIs they can just put you into a new messed up play field.

 

[gary5]

The important part is that you make a 100% effort. That's all you can do. Still, there will always be someone who gets higher marks. Or maybe there will be many. Either way, all you have is who you are. Learn what your strengths are and develop them. The important part is that you make a complete effort, because many people don't. One thing you should know is that, once you know what you want, to keep working toward it. And tell people what you desire in life, because often, people will help you get there.

 

[Ezekiel20]

I know this thread might be pointless because there's really nothing that can be done about my situation but I’m going see what others think about my situation. Ok..... I am a very hard worker I try to do my best in everything I do in a school setting. I have a problem because I base my self-worth on how well I do in school. I feel that in order to be a successful, well-rounded person, I must get A's in school. I often see my peers doing better than me and it's not because they work any harder then me. It's so bad because when I find out that others I know do better than I do, I feel inferior to them and I shouldn't even be talking to them because I simply can’t compete. I am a nice person and care about my friends and family. I just can't seem to get the high grades I so want to and feel I need to in order to feel self-actualized. I often get depressed and feel worthless when I get a C+ or B in an exam or class (that’s between a 65 and 74% in Ontario Canada-where I’m from). I feel that it's useless and that I have to accept the fact that my friends will just do better than me in life. That’s right..life. I feel that good grades are the keys that open doors in life and I feel doors are slamming in my face left, right and center these days and I’m starting to get scared. I'm sorry to bug you soon to be MD's, but I feel I need some solid advice on what I can or should do in my situation.

I used to be like this too - I studied hard, and hated those that got better grades than me. Maybe because of this, I ended up graduating highschool as the top student.

But once I began my undergraduate degree, I realised that grades don't mean much as long as you've put the work in and you're satisfied with your effort. I saw people who got impossibly high grades, but had very poor social skills, like when making friends or relating to others.. Once I started caring less about grades and more about genuine learning (to satisfy myself, rather than to merely achieve high grades), I started to enjoy learning a lot more, and also learnt to collaborate with others to maximise my and their learning (previously, I would not work with others, because I didn't want to help them, not giving thought to the fact that collaborating will help me too..!)

At the moment, I have no way of telling where I am placed relative to other students, and while it is true that part of my motivation to study comes from wanting to stay in the 'leading pack', I would not be upset if I found out that I am not the best.

So my advice would be to keep studying hard, but don't focus too much on your class rank. Just make sure that you work hard enough so that you have no regrets later..

Best wishes