What have I done??

[Callogician]

The powerful men are too busy ****ing interns.

Touche.

That only applies to the phone though.

I stand corrected.

---

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[Dr. McDreamy]

I beleive the OP.

In case you haven't heard, people's sexual predilictions run the gamut. Some powerful men like clown porn (just google it if you really need to know). Some powerful women like sleeping with janitors. It takes all kinds. And powerful women didn't become powerful b/c they were shy little flowers who were looking for a older more powerful man to show them the way. They became powerful b/c they were agressive about getting what they wanted. So I'd say that there are lots of women (even female doctors *gasp*!) who would get off on abusing their power by seducing a medical student. Just like there are male doctors who do the same.

 

[Doc Oc]

1) The situation is unlikely, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. It's easy to find a man as a female "student", because your status is not intimidating and still carries the whole college co-ed, "girls gone wild" aura. Once you are a professional, especially a freakin' DOC, you are outside the usual power relationship between a man and a woman. (Right or wrong, alot of guys don't want their wife to make more money than them, or have any obvious superiority. There's alot of insecurity complexes out there.) Like another poster said, some women are turned on by abusing their power to seduce someone in a position of submission. Come on now, is the dominatrix scenario really that unbelievable? As an aside, do women really look for older men, or do men look for younger women so it ends up that way?

2) Teenage women grow up to be adult women, some of whom get degrees and become professional, adult women with the same personality flaws (and possibly undiagnosed Axis II conditions )

3) The OP is just a good writer, maybe he was an English major before med school and just can't help himself. Maybe he has told the story before to friends and is just getting more colorful at writing it. Maybe he was reliving the experience, as someone else pointed out. In any case, the communication methods of others don't have to make sense. Maybe Callogician would have come right out and said it, maybe someone else would have been embarrassed and danced around it for a few paragraphs, the OP seemed to want to create a story, to have us feel how he did during the tryst then shocked like he did when the letter showed up.

4) The OP wanted to think about the positives and avoid the negatives, or maybe he just realized that the post was getting too long and finaly cut to the chase.

5) The OP stated that he expected to be flamed, but honestly hoped to get advice.


Some people may not believe the OP's story. But why did he post it? He's not responding to the "virtual high-fives", so if he wanted glory, he's not eating it up. I think he simply wanted to hear some thoughts anonymously, which is what this board is for.

Another thought: Let's say they only made out in the cab, then he said no to going upstairs after she "insisted". Do you really think that this situation would have turned out differently?

 

[Law2Doc]

Some people may not believe the OP's story. But why did he post it? He's not responding to the "virtual high-fives", so if he wanted glory, he's not eating it up. I think he simply wanted to hear some thoughts anonymously, which is what this board is for.

If you haven't ever seen a fake post on SDN, you really need to read more threads, it's hardly a novelty. People make up stories for their own amusement, to watch what ensues. I personally don't understand the psychology of it. But trolls abound on these boards, and are frequently banned.

 

[supereagles]

Great post!!! really dont care if it really happened. Some people actually love the fantasy that that they could land their hot superior. S**T I know I do. So Thank you for the entertaining post.

I also thought the comment about some rather accomplished people liking clown porn was really funny

 

[njbmd]

Great post!!! really dont care if it really happened. Some people actually love the fantasy that that they could land their hot superior. S**T I know I do. So Thank you for the entertaining post.

I also thought the comment about some rather accomplished people liking clown porn was really funny

Hi there,
I agree with the above. Even if the OP totally made up this story, it might serve to keep someone out of this situation or anything like it. I have heard of things like this happening before and I have dealt with administrative handling of a sexual harassment charge.

If nothing else, people should be aware of the consequences of their actions drunk or sober. When an attending physician is sitting in the same restaurant with me (doesn't have to be at my table), I am on my best behavior. I would never want even a hint of improper behavior to get back to my program director.

If I want to get "down and dirty", I do it at home (my home) that is.

njbmd

 

[jocg27]

Another thought: Let's say they only made out in the cab, then he said no to going upstairs after she "insisted". Do you really think that this situation would have turned out differently?

Good call...once you get started you're going to have to face all the same consequences anyway, so might as well go all out.

Then at least you get to enjoy it at least, and go out in a blaze of glory.

 

[freelove]

wait... clown porn?

 

[gostudy]

This thread is useless without pics.

 

[velo]

So, obviously, the story is made-up...but as far as made-up trolling posts go, this one was a rip roaring good read! Good show man, good show

 

[YouDontKnowJack]

i think i have a new fetish

 

[MirrorTodd]

clowns are scary.

 

[poloace]

as much as the story seems made up - i'll say this much-

my cousin's roommate was hooking up with his dentistry professor while he was a first year in dental school. i thought they were F*ing with me at first - but, turns out its totally legit. now they live and bone together and will probably by a practice- but, back then... she was teaching this guy anatomy in the classroom by day and nailing him at night. now, that's pretty sweet. closest i ever got was a resident who tried to hit on me then just gave me scut work when she found out i had a girlfriend. stupid wench/skank!!

and, btw- you should give us her name so SDN can taunt her.

p

 

[pseudoknot]

I contend that the opening post is almost certainly false. Here are my arguments:

1) The scenario itself is unlikely. A situation involving a man in a position of submission and a woman in a position in power is not conducive to a sexual relationship due to perceived cultural gender roles. Women tend to date older men in positions of power.

2) The attending physician's behavior is unlikely. Why would an adult professional woman act so childishly (by getting revenge after a tryst)? That is something teenage women do. You are displacing a well known cultural meme onto the wrong agent.

3) If you were truly anxious and posting in a desperate plea for help, it is unlikely that you would post in such a flowing and entertaining style. The story is too perfect. If you were typing impromptu, you would have revealed the conflict immediately and then explained the background instead of writing the story in a beautifully classic format where the first sign of conflict appears late. The whole thing seems contrived, not explained.

4) The details you emphasize contradict the putative goal of the thread. If you really wanted advice, why would you write so colorfully of the dynamics of the relationship and so tersely about the deterioration? What do you mean when you say that she grew "demanding" and "cold?" Where is the concrete example or quotation? Don't you want to reader to understand the social context of the retaliation? The nasty letter comes off as more of a red herring than a central theme.

5) "...are you implying that this is made up?" If you had a modicum of intelligence (which you obviously do), you would have realized that your post would be flamed in advance. That the challenges leave you genuinely incredulous and naive (as the quote suggests) is ludicrous.

This post was more entertaining to me than the original story. Excellent work.

 

[CoolCucumber3]

He's telling the truth. I'm the hot sexy female attending he's talking about Every man in the hospital wants to impregnate me. Just look at my avatar.

"You're a fine piece of real estate...and I'm gonna get me some land." - Shania Twain

 

[Callogician]

This post was more entertaining to me than the original story. Excellent work.

Why thank you. I'm tickled pink.

 

[gostudy]

i think i have a new fetish

aah ok.

 

[CoolCucumber3]

I worked at a blood bank and I had an absolutely gorgeous male coworker, I got the feeling he liked me back too, so I asked him out. He said no and got very nasty about it. Then he became my supervisor two weeks later (AAAAHHH!!! why? why? WHY?!??) and boy was every day at work a living hell. I really don't know what happened, and why he suddenly started being such a jerk, but we were fighting all the time and all the other employees were really getting pissed off at us since it would make the donors uneasy with the hostility between us. He would tell the upper management things about me such as I was a slacker, useless to the company, a liar etc. He told all the men in my company that I was a sleazebag and desperate for male attention and that I was following him around (not true) which made everyone whisper about me in the company cafeteria. It was harrassment but all the other coworkers backed him up because he had more power than me. It was a really miserable experience and I considered leaving my job many times thanks to him. But the weirdest thing was, on the day we went on a field trip to observe a blood drive hours away in another state, I was really dressed up really hot in a short skirt/suit outfit and he spent the whole time staring at me and giving me horny looks. Go figure. So wait...why did he turn me down and say all that nasty stuff if he thought I was cute? What a psycho. Maybe he did me a favor by not dating me. Why would you want to be in a relationship with a punk like that anyway.

 

[OSUdoc08]

OK, I know that I'm going to get a lot of flak for this, but I really need some advice.

I'm a student soon to graduate from a NYC-area medical school. On a recent rotation, my very cool team went out for drinks after a particularly depressing day. (Don't worry, no one there was on call, that's not the ethical dilemma!) Gradually, as the night went on and we got drunker and drunker, the group started to slowly dissipate. Eventually, only me and my attending were left at the bar. Now, the attending is probably the most desired woman in the hospital...tall, beautiful, hilarious sense of humor and great personality. Nearly every male patient has semi-jokingly said that they'll try to get admitted again, or that they won't leave the hospital until she goes with them. She's single, and quite unobtainable.

Anyway, we were the only ones from the team left at the bar, and we were quite blasted. At work, she dresses very professionally, but that night, she was dressed like a sexy college girl. We were flirting like mad and dancing until it was too late to stay. Since we live somewhat near each other, we shared a cab back to our neighborhood. Well, in the cab the flirting took a physical turn and we started making out. The cab got to her apartment first, and she insisted that I come upstairs. I wasn't going to argue. You can imagine what happened next.

When we woke up, we were surprised to find that neither of us was very embarrassed about our drunken behavior, and we went at it again. She was going to a conference the next day, so we didn't see each other for a few days. We both assumed that it was a quick fling, and it was over. But when she got back, we were constantly sneaking off "to radiology" or the call room, or to her or my place after work. It was intense. The forbiddenness of the relationship took it to a whole other level.

Of course, as you can imagine, eventually this had to end. After several weeks, she started to get a little demanding with me, and we started to grow cold. Another girl I was interested in had recently come back on the market after breaking up with her long-time boyfriend, and she was making moves on me. So, the atttending and I broke it off calmly. Or so I thought.

Several weeks later, when I was on a different rotation, I got an email from the Dean's office that I should come in for a talk. I was never so nervous in my life. I get there, and he asks me how I thought I did on the previous rotations. I honestly said I did great, my patients loved me, I learned a lot, I was always eager to do some scut work, etc, etc. He said that he had gotten a letter from my former attending (which I did NOT solicit) which basically said I was a horrible student, constanty shirking my responsibilities, with no drive, and lack of respect for his superiors.
This was all TOTALLY FALSE!!! Clearly, she was pissed off about me wanting to end the fling, and this is how she took it out on me! I HAD NO IDEA she was this vengeful! I thought we broke it off calmly!

So, now I am in a bind. Do I shut my mouth and let this horrible letter remain in my file, potentially ruining my chances of a decent residency? Or do I spill my guts to the dean and tell him about my highly unethical affair with my superior? Even if I do, who's to say he'll believe me?? What if she denies the whole thing? Then I'll look like a terrible student AND a liar!!

I really don't know what to do anymore, and I'm desperate for some advice!! HELP!!

God works in mysterious ways. I hope you've learned your lesson.

 

[sometime07]

I contend that the opening post is almost certainly false. Here are my arguments:

Sorry I haven't had a chance to return to the thread. It gets busy in med school, if you haven't noticed. I'll try to answer your concerns, Archie.

1) The scenario itself is unlikely. A situation involving a man in a position of submission and a woman in a position in power is not conducive to a sexual relationship due to perceived cultural gender roles. Women tend to date older men in positions of power.

Hi, and welcome to 2006! Things are different from your time, so try not to be alarmed at all the changes! Not only can women now vote, they can also be in positions of power over men. And as any Psych 101 student knows (and certainly budding neurologists!), sexual relationships in the workplace are more often about power than about sex. Also, the "Internet" is not the internal netting in your bathing trunks!

And why exactly would a woman who is powerful in her own right be seeking out older, powerful men? If she's looking for a way to express her power over men, what use would she have for someone more powerful than her? Not to mention that plenty of "older" women would rather be in the sack with a just-barely-past-the-testosterone-peak 20-something than a Viagra-popping triple bypass candidate.

But really, I'm not surprised that you have no idea how human sexual relationships work, outside of biology textbooks.

2) The attending physician's behavior is unlikely. Why would an adult professional woman act so childishly (by getting revenge after a tryst)? That is something teenage women do. You are displacing a well known cultural meme onto the wrong agent.

Yes, the whole situation is "unlikely". But unlikely things happen all the time. Perhaps not in your logical little universe, but that's how it is in the real world.

Also, "cultural memes" do not dictate the behavior of real people, in real life. This was one incident not an anthropology study. You are probably right that this "meme" is the case if you're considering the world population, but two people do not a representative sample make.

3) If you were truly anxious and posting in a desperate plea for help, it is unlikely that you would post in such a flowing and entertaining style. The story is too perfect. If you were typing impromptu, you would have revealed the conflict immediately and then explained the background instead of writing the story in a beautifully classic format where the first sign of conflict appears late. The whole thing seems contrived, not explained.

Forgive me for writing well. Is this more to your liking?

"OMG I wuz banging my attendng, and evn tho we got fr3aky, she wuz a total beyatch and rote a bad leter to get revenje when I dumped her b*tch *ss!"

How perfectly spur-of-the-moment! Notice how I captured the essence of the issue so succinctly, without resorting to "classic" writing styles!

4) The details you emphasize contradict the putative goal of the thread. If you really wanted advice, why would you write so colorfully of the dynamics of the relationship and so tersely about the deterioration? What do you mean when you say that she grew "demanding" and "cold?" Where is the concrete example or quotation? Don't you want to reader to understand the social context of the retaliation? The nasty letter comes off as more of a red herring than a central theme.

So sorry that I didn't take your writing class in college! When I have some time, I'll write a version of the story just for you! That way you don't have to deal with how other people talk about their lives.

5) "...are you implying that this is made up?" If you had a modicum of intelligence (which you obviously do), you would have realized that your post would be flamed in advance. That the challenges leave you genuinely incredulous and naive (as the quote suggests) is ludicrous.

From my very first words of my original post:

OK, I know that I'm going to get a lot of flak for this...

I was merely questioning if those posters were saying I made the story up, or if they were saying that it would make a good story. I'm well aware that there would be plenty of naysayers.

But I'll say again...I do not care for virtual high-fives, and I don't care that you don't believe what happened. You are quite free to have your own opinion. But I posted this for advice about what I should do, and by insisting that this is made up, you are discouraging people who have good advice for me from posting.

EDIT: Upon reading the rest of the thread, I realized a lot of people made similar arguments in my defense. I apologize if it appears I stated your points without crediting you for them.

 

[CoolCucumber3]

I wrote this before to the OP but I don't think it sent.

This situation just seems bad right now because she's making it uncomfortable for both of you. You be the bigger person. LOOK RIGHT THROUGH HER AS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN HER. She doesn't deserve a guy like you anyway. You're too good for her. Sooner or later, this will pass on and you won't have to deal with this idiot girl. Just be a pro, be the smart guy you were in order to get into med school in the first place, and this will all blow over. Just keep yourself REALLY REALLY busy, keep on meeting new people, joke around with the patients when youre not as busy, etc. You'll forget about her soon enough and meet another girl you like. Don't feel bad. We're all human and make mistakes. I have liked several men that screwed me over so i know how you feel.

You be a good doctor, and everything will fall into place. One day she'll get what's coming to her - she's gonna fall flat on her face in front of the whole hospital for doing something evil and stupid - and you'll be there to laugh your @$$ off and walk away with your head held high.

Take care - treat your patients right - and all will be fine

 

[MasterShake]

Also, the "Internet" is not the internal netting in your bathing trunks!

With great wit like this I have been turned into a believer. This story must be true - he obviously talked her out of her panties.

 

[loveumms]

i agree.

have some makeup sex too. and then blast your load in her face

Seriously, what is wrong with you?

 

[sometime07]

I stole that line from the Simpsons. So, not my wit, but thanks.

 

[WatchingWaiting]

I could see this as being true, even if the hotness of the attending is probably exaggerated and there may be some embellishment going on. The real question is why the attending was such a b**** during the aftermath. I'm amazed that she didn't either submit no eval or a highly positive eval just to cover her posterior. I don't see how she she could fail to recognize or choose not to care about the fact that writing a scathing eval is a big danger to her professional career, as it makes the med student much more likely to escalate and it doesn't sound like the bang-fest was secret or plausibly deniable.

He probably should have mentioned to the Dean during their meeting that he had a sexual relationship with the attending and that he thinks it was unfair that she would write that kind of eval. It doesn't really have to escalate to "sexual harrassment" or an investigation or whatever. The Dean would have discretion to ignore that letter if he knew the circumstances. Letters and evals get ignored all the time due to personality conflicts or other issues, without publicity or a formal investigation.

"I came. I saw. I banged the attending. Not necessarily in that order."

 

[jocg27]

With great wit like this I have been turned into a believer. This story must be true - he obviously talked her out of her panties.

Clearly...No wonder it's such a major effort to fight off the advances of hot female attendings. His clothes almost certainly play a part, too...I don't know how he keeps anyone off him!

I'm imagining a scene very much like the axe commercials warning parents to try to keep their sons from using axe, lest they immediately be swarmed by a dangerously violent mob of teenage girls in heat.

The most common outfit I see on med students is a pair of rarely-pressed khakis, a blue Gap oxford (usually wrinkled), and a tie that they got from their father's closet before they went off to college. Oh, and that's often coupled with an oh-so-stylish pair of beat-up Timberlands or Rockports that haven't seen a shoe shine since they left the factory in Cambodia.

The average med student will graduate with something like $150k of debt. After all that tuition, living expense, books, etc, why in the world would you not spend an extra 3-5k on a stellar wardrobe? This is all it would take:

1 or 2 pairs of well-maintained (weekly shine!) Italian shoes - $150-500
5 pairs of Italian wool dress pants - $500-750
10 quality English/Italian dress shirts (some plain, some pinstripe, some windowpane)- $1000
10 snazzy - yet sedate - silk ties (no ugly prints!) - $500-1000

 

[RxnMan]

If you haven't ever seen a fake post on SDN, you really need to read more threads, it's hardly a novelty. People make up stories for their own amusement, to watch what ensues. I personally don't understand the psychology of it. But trolls abound on these boards, and are frequently banned.

See Attention-seeking behavior.

 

[Psycho Doctor]

I contend that the opening post is almost certainly false. Here are my arguments:

1) The scenario itself is unlikely. A situation involving a man in a position of submission and a woman in a position in power is not conducive to a sexual relationship due to perceived cultural gender roles. Women tend to date older men in positions of power.

2) The attending physician's behavior is unlikely. Why would an adult professional woman act so childishly (by getting revenge after a tryst)? That is something teenage women do. You are displacing a well known cultural meme onto the wrong agent.

3) If you were truly anxious and posting in a desperate plea for help, it is unlikely that you would post in such a flowing and entertaining style. The story is too perfect. If you were typing impromptu, you would have revealed the conflict immediately and then explained the background instead of writing the story in a beautifully classic format where the first sign of conflict appears late. The whole thing seems contrived, not explained.

4) The details you emphasize contradict the putative goal of the thread. If you really wanted advice, why would you write so colorfully of the dynamics of the relationship and so tersely about the deterioration? What do you mean when you say that she grew "demanding" and "cold?" Where is the concrete example or quotation? Don't you want to reader to understand the social context of the retaliation? The nasty letter comes off as more of a red herring than a central theme.

5) "...are you implying that this is made up?" If you had a modicum of intelligence (which you obviously do), you would have realized that your post would be flamed in advance. That the challenges leave you genuinely incredulous and naive (as the quote suggests) is ludicrous.

i tend to agree with you. however there are many very unethical people around so anything is possible.

 

[akademiks1989]

LOL @ this entire thread, whether true or entirely fabricated.

sometime07, you have a beautifully engaging writing style

 

[Mr. McDuck]

"OMG I wuz banging my attendng, and evn tho we got fr3aky, she wuz a total beyatch and rote a bad leter to get revenje when I dumped her b*tch *ss!"

 

[QuikClot]

Wow, excellent post, I completely agree with all of your arguments, ESPECIALLY #1. The chances are extremely slim that an older woman in that position would first of all commit such an act, and then get attached/upset/childish when you break it off? Sounds like an episode of Grey's Anatomy. The only way a woman of the type you describe would do that is if you are extremely, and I mean extremely, good-looking and charming.

On the other hand, only a good-looking charmer used to the attention would be shallow and stupid enough to break up with a beautiful, intelligent, successful woman who shares his passion b/c she became "demanding" and he wanted to give some other girl a try. So that part of the story is consistent, at least.

 

[xylem29]

I will only believe this if the OP shows us a pic of himself - he's right that she would assert/express her power by bangin men who are lower than her but...I dunno...if she's "unobtainable" - these types of women know they are unobtainable and know that they can get any man they want - they also get hit on, compliments, stares, cat calls, etc all the freaking time.

Why you OP? The first incident I can understand, not b/c she wanted to assert her power but b/c, as you wrote yourself, you guys stayed till the bar was closed (that's quite late) and got really drunk - i'll f*ck anything when i'm drunk - most ppl do alot of things they normally wouldn't do when drunk.

But to continue with a relationship afterwards? Even if it was a f*ck friend relationship - if you're just an average med student, I doubt an "unobtainable" woman would want you, and since you make it clear that it was for sex, your personality doesn't even factor into this - are you you tall, dark, and handsome?

 

[badasshairday]

 

[nope80]

how often would you think something like this actually happens in the med world? whether it be man or woman in the position of power?

 

[supernareg]

Idiot OP, dont you have any common sense? u got into med school, and are graduating soon... obviously you shoulda kept bonin' her till AFTER evals... duh....

take the punishment like a man, cause you ****ed up, son. next time, go head and bone ur attending, but put an end to it AFTER ur done working there....

also, i wouldnt rat her out, u dont know what strings she can pull, who she can call/**** so you dont get ur residency

 

[PeepshowJohnny]

Old thread is old.

 

[bcat85]

OK, I know that I'm going to get a lot of flak for this, but I really need some advice.

I'm a student soon to graduate from a NYC-area medical school. On a recent rotation, my very cool team went out for drinks after a particularly depressing day. (Don't worry, no one there was on call, that's not the ethical dilemma!) Gradually, as the night went on and we got drunker and drunker, the group started to slowly dissipate. Eventually, only me and my attending were left at the bar. Now, the attending is probably the most desired woman in the hospital...tall, beautiful, hilarious sense of humor and great personality. Nearly every male patient has semi-jokingly said that they'll try to get admitted again, or that they won't leave the hospital until she goes with them. She's single, and quite unobtainable.

Anyway, we were the only ones from the team left at the bar, and we were quite blasted. At work, she dresses very professionally, but that night, she was dressed like a sexy college girl. We were flirting like mad and dancing until it was too late to stay. Since we live somewhat near each other, we shared a cab back to our neighborhood. Well, in the cab the flirting took a physical turn and we started making out. The cab got to her apartment first, and she insisted that I come upstairs. I wasn't going to argue. You can imagine what happened next.

When we woke up, we were surprised to find that neither of us was very embarrassed about our drunken behavior, and we went at it again. She was going to a conference the next day, so we didn't see each other for a few days. We both assumed that it was a quick fling, and it was over. But when she got back, we were constantly sneaking off "to radiology" or the call room, or to her or my place after work. It was intense. The forbiddenness of the relationship took it to a whole other level.

Of course, as you can imagine, eventually this had to end. After several weeks, she started to get a little demanding with me, and we started to grow cold. Another girl I was interested in had recently come back on the market after breaking up with her long-time boyfriend, and she was making moves on me. So, the atttending and I broke it off calmly. Or so I thought.

Several weeks later, when I was on a different rotation, I got an email from the Dean's office that I should come in for a talk. I was never so nervous in my life. I get there, and he asks me how I thought I did on the previous rotations. I honestly said I did great, my patients loved me, I learned a lot, I was always eager to do some scut work, etc, etc. He said that he had gotten a letter from my former attending (which I did NOT solicit) which basically said I was a horrible student, constanty shirking my responsibilities, with no drive, and lack of respect for his superiors.
This was all TOTALLY FALSE!!! Clearly, she was pissed off about me wanting to end the fling, and this is how she took it out on me! I HAD NO IDEA she was this vengeful! I thought we broke it off calmly!

So, now I am in a bind. Do I shut my mouth and let this horrible letter remain in my file, potentially ruining my chances of a decent residency? Or do I spill my guts to the dean and tell him about my highly unethical affair with my superior? Even if I do, who's to say he'll believe me?? What if she denies the whole thing? Then I'll look like a terrible student AND a liar!!

I really don't know what to do anymore, and I'm desperate for some advice!! HELP!!

This is a fantastic story but uh.... thats bad news man. I wouldn't say anything. Imagine that convo:

"So uh... the reason I got a bad evaluation from her was that I was banging her and now I'm not."

 

[silas2642]

Never mind.

 

[njbmd]

This thread is more than two years old and likely started as a joke. I am closing so you can enjoy the reading but if the poster was for real, he is long gone.