When did you decide medicine was what you really wanted to do? When I look at medicine, I see an exciting, innovative field. Currently I can't even begin to picture something I would rather do. Despite this, I can't help but feel that everything around me is telling me that medicine is not the right path for me. Right now I am a senior in high school. My marks are great and I have a keen interest in math and science, in particular I excel at chemistry and physics. Part of what worries me is that I have never taken biology. In my area, only the grade 12 level biology deals with human anatomy (as opposed to plants and animals.) I've been told by many that this is okay and that I can take biology classes in university to make up for this. Nevertheless, I'm still worried. Initially this year I was signed up for bio. I lasted about 2 weeks before feeling overwhelmed by my heavy course load. I chose to drop biology as I felt it was my least enjoyable class. I'm still afraid that if I could not even last a month in a grade 12 biology class, how could I even consider looking into medicine? I've tried to tell myself that maybe it was the teacher that I didn't like or I didn't give it enough time, but I honestly don't know. Secondly, I realize that in reality medicine is not what it is made out to be. It's not your typical "luxurious" lifestyle. Doctors live comfortably, but I know that they have to earn it through hard work and all the hours and I completely respect that. I've been lurking on this forum for about a year or two now, just casually reading every couple months, and it's really made medicine look a lot scarier to me. I feel that some people on here love their jobs. They work hard but at the end of the day they are happy and content with themselves and what they are doing. But others, it seems, describe medicine as a vicious cycle filled hope and expectations which are never reached. You spend your whole career hoping the future will be better, but it never is. In med school, you hope residency will be better. As a resident, you hope being an attending will be better, and so on. I just really don't know what to think. Does being a doctor have to be one of those "live to work" kind of jobs? Can you have a life? I know I've heard tons of stories of people who have managed to have families as well as a career, but they still don't comfort me. I know there are the "lifestyle" specialties, but I don't want to go into medicine hoping that I'll like one of them. I want to do something that makes me happy. In addition, how do most doctors cope with the emotional aspects of medicine? Do you have to be strong going in with the idea of death? Do you have to be completely comfortable with blood? Or are these things you learn to deal with as you go along? I'm not an extremely sensitive person, but I definitely dont have a heart of stone. What if I couldnt handle these things? Another reason I wonder if medicine is right for me is the fact that I'm emetophobic (fear of vomit.) It used to be terrible when I was younger, but as I've aged I've become more and more comfortable with vomit. I can watch people be sick but I don't like to go near it or really look at it. I feel nervous if I go on a long drive with someone who is known to get motion sickness. It is becoming less and less a part of my life, but it is definitely still present. Despite all of these worries I have, I feel drawn to medicine for reasons I dont fully understand. I'm a fighter and I know if I decide this is what I really want, I can get through it. I look at so many doctors and see what I aspire to be. They're intelligent people, filled with compassion. Medicine excites me in a way I cant describe. I can even feel my heart beat a little faster when I hear random medical terms mentioned. Occasionally in my free time I'll watch surgeries - c-sections, hysterectomies, heart transplants! I find them fascinating. Have I simply been brainwashed by silly medical shows on tv, or does this seem like something I could really do? I know I'm still young and that I still have plenty of time to choose what I want to do with my life, but I guess I'm really asking if you think I have a chance and how and when will I know if this is what I really want to do? Thanks for reading all that.