When did you tell your friends/family?

[Kastalia]

When did you tell your friends and family about your plans? How did they react? Do you wish you told them earlier/later?

This may be totally immature but I feel that this is so personal that I could only share it with my closest friends and partner. I can't imagine telling my parents anytime soon either.

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[AlphaBeta<3]

When did you tell your friends and family about your plans? How did they react? Do you wish you told them earlier/later?

This may be totally immature but I feel that this is so personal that I could only share it with my closest friends and partner. I can't imagine telling my parents anytime soon either.

what plans, about wanting to become a doctor? When I was 5.

 

[Kastalia]

what plans, about wanting to become a doctor? When I was 5.

Well, about becoming a doctor later in life. Everybody knew this was what I wanted to do when I was 5. It just didn't happen when it was supposed to.

 

[AlphaBeta<3]

Well, about becoming a doctor later in life. Everybody knew this was what I wanted to do when I was 5. It just didn't happen when it was supposed to.

I don't think it's a big deal to tell them you're pursuing medicine. Just bring it up in passing next time you see them.

If you decided to sell all your possessions and join a cult, on the other hand....

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

It might be a bigger deal for people with families leaving well-paying careers.

 

[CastleG8]

When did you tell your friends and family about your plans? How did they react? Do you wish you told them earlier/later?

This may be totally immature but I feel that this is so personal that I could only share it with my closest friends and partner. I can't imagine telling my parents anytime soon either.

No one in my family went to college before and 3 of my siblings are HS dropouts. I didn't tell anyone for a while. They would have looked at me funny. After two years I finally told my older sister and she just sat there in awkward silence. I barely finished HS so I don't blame her! Now they are all rooting for me and offered to ask their physicians if I could shadow when I was having trouble finding a shadowing opportunity.
I avoided telling everyone because I pick up on subtle body language and I didn't expect anything less than doubt and concerns about me. This was also a very personal thing for me so I understand. I did regret telling people sometimes, but overall it was a huge relief once I began getting support. Doing this alone is hard.

 

[YellowfinGuy10]

Family knows and is very supportive which is a huge blessing. I don't really share my plans with everyone. When people ask what I want to do I usually something in health care. Maybe its me but in the past whenever I said that I wanted to become a doctor, I always got the "oh..well good luck" which to me sounds like why are you even trying for that....Or when I am really pressed about, when people ask well why didn't I get a degree in bio or chem and that I screwed up etc. I quote the man Bob Ross and say well I never screwed up I just made some happy accidents in the pass.

 

[BlastedHeath]

I told my dad about a week before starting my post bacc classes. I was very anxious about telling him, I had already changed my mind about what I wanted to do so many times, I thought he would think I was being dumb or avoiding real grown-up life or something. It went well though, I wish I would have told him earlier.

 

[kamakazi5]

I've told my wife's family (essentially my only family) that I'm going to at least try getting in but I wish I hadn't.

 

[TryingOnceMore]

My personal experience has been that the fewer people you tell, the better.

You are on a path no one except some other non-trad wanna-be med student will understand. As such, it's not surprising if they don't understand or support this.

They will think they are just trying to help, or looking out for your best interests, but in fact, it will just be more stress to deal with. What people mean by, "I can't imagine...," is that they can't imagine themselves doing such a thing.

 

[NonTrad16]

Depends where you are in the path. I couldn't keep it a secret for long. I went through phases of crazy time commitments (between work, pre-requisite courses, MCAT, volunteering, etc). Keeping everything under wraps would have become impossible. Thankfully people are supportive (to my face). Don't much care what they say elsewhere...

 

[timephone]

I understand wanting to keep things under wraps for a while. It's a difficult life decision to trade your current career trajectory for a completely different one. I'd been researching the post-bac path for about a month before I told my parents about it. I just wanted to run it by them! I was really excited and I wanted their (hopefully positive) input. I told them, above all else, to keep it a secret from the rest of the family. Mainly because I was in the preliminary stages of research and wasn't entirely positive if I'd pursue it. In addition, I felt a bit scared of the high chance of failure; if I failed, I wanted it to be private.

Well, fast-track to a year later (now), I get home from overseas and of course my parents have told the rest of our family about it. I would've preferred to explain my decision to my family members personally, and to give them the facts as I saw them. However my parents beat me to the punch. Thus, everyone who I would've gone to for advice has already kind of made up their minds on how they feel about my latest adventure.

In the end it doesn't really matter what the other people in your family think (except of course spouse and children). In all cases though I believe it's always better to be up front and honest. What was I going to do, lie for 3 years about what I was doing and why? That would've been disingenuous and impossible.

 

[TheTao]

It might be a bigger deal for people with families leaving well-paying careers.

It's a HUGE deal the older you get. And the amount of support (especially from "well-meaning" family and friends) is inversely proportional to your age and the number of degrees you already have.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

It's a HUGE deal the older you get. And the amount of support (especially from "well-meaning" family and friends) is inversely proportional to your age and the number of degrees you already have.

My point exactly. The first few people who replied didn't seem like they got that.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Depends on the person and what you mean by "support." If my wife didn't support me going to med school, I probably wouldn't to be honest. My wife and kids are more important to me than a job. I'd find a middle ground.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Wives are easy. You just gotta think strategically.

Hey honey just think of all the money we'll be making

Also recall - babe, my amour, the love of my life - that students can't pay alimony.

 

[TheTao]

But how important is this "family support" bollox?

I think it depends on what your "other" support looks like. My support outside of my family is as solid as 10,000 rocks, so I'm good!

 

[TheTao]

Wives are easy.

Unfortunately, husbands are NOT easy, not even close!! And I feel like I should loose my feminist card for liking your post, LOL!!!

 

[Seattle Mariners Fan]

Unfortunately, husbands are NOT easy, not even close!! And I feel like I should loose my feminist card for liking your post, LOL!!!

Husbands are even easier.

 

[CyrilFiggis]

When did you tell your friends and family about your plans? How did they react? Do you wish you told them earlier/later?

I told my close friends, family and boss when I was accepted into my post-bacc program. But it was a hush-hush thing mainly because I didn't want clients getting cold feet thinking I wasn't spending every moment thinking about then (lots of egos in the entertainment industry). I told extended family a week after I received my first acceptance.

For those brushing off the difficulty in putting this out to the world, take some perspective. It's not solely about the "support" aspect, but the pride aspect. I was (well, currently still am until Aug 9th) a working professional for the last 9 years with a solid career. To suddenly put out to everyone that I would be abandoning a good thing to try and get into one of the toughest professions potentially opened up a lot of unwanted discussion and opinions. I have tough skin and can take it, but when my goal was to continue to balance my career with classes, research, shadowing, volunteering, etc - the last thing I needed was unnecessary distractions.

Finally, only 40% of all applicants matriculated to US MD programs last year. I knew there was no guarantee that I would get in. So why put myself in a position where everyone knows what I'm trying to do, and therefore also knows if I don't succeed? Someone may read this and say I'm being sensitive and I just have to learn to not give so many f*#k$, but again it's about eliminating unnecessary clutter.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

I spoke to my chaplain about it because I was already four years into a Navy career and headed towards a different path, but I just couldn't shake the desire to pursue medicine. After I spoke to him, I spoke to my wife. She gave me her blessing.

When I decided to go through with it, I had to tell my chain of command because they have to sign off on my packet, and I had to go to almost a dozen appointments to get medically cleared for a commission, interview with a physician, etc. Once I had started on the process, I told the rest of my family, who were all on board.

I have lots of emotional and spiritual support, so none of it was really a big deal. I do my job at work, so they don't give me a hard time there either.