When to start a family?

[LWestenhofer]

I have been accepted into DO school for the class of 2011. My husband and I would like to start a family before I enter residency so we could have a child who is at least one year old when I start. I have heard from a few people who have gone ahead of me not to have a child, is possible, as an MS I. I was just wondering what other advise someone who has been there would give? Also feel free to PM me- thanks so much...

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[Fermata]

The forums on http://www.mommd.com/ would probably field you a better answer with many different perspectives.

Good luck.

 

[MiesVanDerMom]

the general consensus is to be pregnant either 2nd year or fourth year. also, to be pregnant in year 2 or 3 of your residency. sometimes people will take a year between year 2 and 3 to do research or something and have time with the baby or maybe take a year off after graduating. even if you don;t, years 2 and 4 are easiest to be pregnant. good luck to you there's never a a really good time to be pregnant for any woman!

 

[P Willi]

After talking to with many mothers and fathers, students and doctors all told me..."do it when it's right time in your relationship."

 

[Dartos Vader]

Depends what you want to do after med school. Med school is the easy part, you can work around your baby's schedule. Internship is the worst part. I felt like it was easy having a baby (now a 2 yr old) during med school, but I couldn't face the idea of seeing my kid every couple days or so. Many people have done it, but I wanted to have a lot of contact with my kids. I'm not saying what other people choose is wrong, but that's the way I felt. I loved OB/GYN but I didn't think it was compatible with the kind of family life I wanted. I suggest waiting until sometime in residency when you have already figured out what career you want to do. If you know you want derm/psych/fp or something else that has a tolerable residency (I fortunately loved psychiatry) have one whenever you feel ready, but if you're thinking surgery.....think long and hard about how involved you want to be in your kids life.

 

[Lily717]

I'm currently an M1 at NSU-COM and had a baby girl about 2 months before classes started. Let me tell you what my average week is like.
I usually get home (after picking up my daughter from a friend's house) sometime between 4 and 6pm. My husband and I play with her for a few hours til she gets tired and cranky around 7 or 8pm. During that time we also manage to make or order dinner and eat. After she goes to sleep I either study, spend time with my husband, or get caught up on other things (contacting friends, paying bills, etc). I make sure that at least 2/7 nights are spent entirely with my husband. On Saturdays I go to my mom-in-law's house for about 6 hours so she can spend time with the baby while I study. I get about 5 hours of productive studying done. Sundays my husband and I switch off spending time with the baby so I get about 3-5 hours of studying done. Total I average about 15 hrs of study time per week. Recommended amount is 30-40hrs. I could definitely get in more study time, but I already miss my daughter and husband SO MUCH as it is that I would rather get the grades I'm getting (A's/B's) than be the best in the class and not ever see them.
I'd say consider these things:
Do you have someone you TRUST to watch the baby during the week? Can you handle missing baby milestones like first words, steps, etc? Do you usually need to study more or less than most other people? Do you prefer to study in groups or alone (b/c it's hard to commit to group studying since babies are so unpredictable)? If you wait, how will you handle being pregnant while in school or residency(Did your mom have easy pregnancies)? What type of residency are you considering?
Since I'm only an M1 I don't know what second year is like, but I've heard it's a lot easier than first so it's probably a good idea to wait til then. My choice was to put off med school, not put off having a baby, which is a lot different. I felt better starting medical school sooner b/c I felt like I would rather miss the baby milestones (when my daughter is so young she won't be disappointed) than miss things like dance recitals, soccer games etc later on when she'll need me more mentally/emotionally.
Anyway, feel free to PM me with any other questions. Good luck!! And remember, God only gives you what you can handle so whenever you get pregnant--that's the right time.

 

[Dartos Vader]

I agree with the above post. Family support is huge, we had nobody around to help us out and it could be really hard. It doesn't hurt if you skip all your classes and study at home like I did. I had my son at the begining of second year and wouldn't change it for the world, but it was a challenge.

 

[Dr.Dicky]

I am a big believer in the theory that there is never a perfect time in life to do anything. In our chosen profession, there is no perfect time to have a child. That being said, I entered my first year of medical school with a 13 month old. We had our second child two weeks before I started rotations. Both were planned around what we believe to be the "hard years". We will have the third after internship year.

As long as you have a VERY supportive spouse, then everything will work out. We have never had family around to pick up the slack, though that would have been nice. You just get very good at delegating your school/study time, and make the most of what family time you have.

And you do not have to sacrifice grades/board scores or a competitive residency just because you have a family. I love the fact that we had kids in med school. They keep you focused on what is important in life.