Oct 30, 2009
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Stole this from my writing professor who was mocking the PS:

.I am a healer so I should be in medical school. Ever since I saw my pet hamster Hammy fall of a shelf and die, right before my eyes, and I felt so helpless, I knew I had to go to medical school. I know my scores and grades are low for medical school, but I don’t test well. I do try hard in everything I do, and I will do that in medical school, just ask my mother. My cousin is in medical school and I’m smarter than he is, just ask my mother. And I care about people, especially the children. We are the world, as the song goes, and it takes a village, and I want to heal that village..
 

raginfly

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haha sounds like something my english professor would do

not looking forward to write my PS.
 
Oct 30, 2009
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haha sounds like something my english professor would do

not looking forward to write my PS.
If you're anything like me, write it at 2am like it's due tomorrow. I originally wanted to apply last year, but decided to wait because my fiance graduates next spring and I didn't want to be separated from him for a year, especially since it made sense for us to get married between his graduation and my first year of my school. So I decided to spend my "extra year" working on my PS and studying for the MCAT. Guess how well that worked out? But I chose a writing class devoted to "personal essays," that promised that we'd learn to write a PS. My prof HATES the genre...he agrees with most of us that even the best PS is formulaic and silly and focuses on bragging without appearing to be bragging...ugh!

So I had to write my PS between biochem and pharmacology midterm exams. I figured it wouldn't be what I actually submitted, but decent enough to turn in. I wrote it in less than an hour, since we have leeway for revisions. I actually cranked out a decent PS, since I didn't want to embarrass myself ("THIS is why you think you're worthy of med school?!?") but I didn't have time for reflection. Obviously, I'm going to spend quite a bit of time revising it, but I was thankful for the "gun to my head" so to speak. I at least produced something worth revising!
 

Hoody

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I feel like this thread is deja vu? :confused:
 
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As another example of what to avoid, I feel obliged to repost Panda Bear's famous mockery of a Personal Statement:
"Mbuto."

My African driver springs to his feet.

"Yes, Sahib."

"Pass me another baby, I think this one has died." I lay the dead infant in the pile by my feet. What I'd really like him to do is pass me an ice-cold bottle of the local beer. Compassion is hot, thirsty work. There is no ice in this wretched refugee camp, mores the pity, but as I'm here to help I will suffer in silence. I stare into the eyes of the African baby who is suffering from HIV or dengue fever or something gross, look out into the hot, dusty savannah and ask, "Why? Why gender-neutral and non-judgmental Diety (or Deities) does this have to happen?"

"And Why, Mbuto, is the air-conditioning on my Land Rover broken again?"

"One thousand pardons, Sahib, but the parts have not arrived."

I will suffer. I have lived a life of privilege and my suffering serves to link me to the suffering of mankind. I roll the window down. God it's hot. How can people live here? Why don't they move where it's cool? Still, I see by the vacant stare from the walking skeletons who insist on blocking the road that they appreciate my compassion and I know that in a small way, I am making a difference in their lives.

Africa. Oh wretched continent! How long must you suffer? How long will you provide the venue to compensate for a low MCAT score? How many must die before I am accepted to a top-tier medical school?

When did I first discover that I, myself, desired to be a doctor? Some come to the decision late in life, often not until the age of five. The non-traditional applicants might not know until they are seven or even, as hard as it is to believe, until the end of ninth grade. I came, myself, to the realization that I, myself, wanted to be a doctor on the way through the birth canal when I realized that my large head was causing a partial third degree vaginal laceration. I quickly threw a couple of sutures into the fascia between contractions so strong was my desire to help people.

My dedication to service was just beginning. At five I was counseling the first-graders on their reproductive options. By twelve I was volunteering at a suicide crisis center/free needle exchange hot-line for troubled transgendered teens. I'll never forget Jose, a young Hispanic male with HIV who had just been kicked out of his casa by his conservative Catholic parents. He had turned to black tar heroin as his only solace and he was literally at the end of his rope when he called.

"How about a condom, Hose," I asked. The J, as you know, is pronounced like an H in Spanish.

Annoying silence on the line. Hesus, I was there to help him.

"Condoms will solve all of your problems," I continued, "In fact, in a paper of which I was listed as the fourth author, we found that condoms prevent all kinds of diseases including HIV which I have a suspicion is the root of your depression."

More silence. No one had ever had such a rapport with him. He was speechless and grateful and I took his sobs as evidence of my compassion.

"Hey, it was double-blinded and placebo controlled, vato." Cultural competence is important and I value my diverse upbringing which has exposed me to peoples of many different ethnicities. I always say "What up, Homes," to the nice young negroes who assemble my Big Mac and I think they accept me as a soul brother. "

"We also have needles, amigo. Clean needles would prevent HIV too."

My desire to be a physician has mirrored my desire to actualize my potential to serve humanity in many capacities. This may be something unheard of from medical school applicant but I have a strong desire to help people. I manifest this desire by my dedication to obtaining all kinds of exposure to all different kinds of people but mostly those from underserved and underprivileged populations. In fact, during a stint in a Doctors Without Borders spin-off chapter I learned the true meaning of underserved while staffing a mall health care pavilion in La Jolla, California.

Most of my friends are black or latino and I am a "Junior Cousin" of the Nation of Islam where I teach infidel abasement techniques to the Mohammed (PBUHN) Scouts. I also am active in the fight for women's reproductive rights except of course for women in Afghanistan who were better off before our current racist war.

As Maya Angelou once said, "All men (and womyn) are prepared to accomplish the incredible if their ideals are threatened." I feel this embodies my philosophy best because the prospect of grad school is too horrible to contemplate.
 

LizzyM

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Deja vu? Try reading 100 per year like most adcom members do.
 

45408

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your English professor was rejected from medical school.
 

DrSmooth

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PS is ridiculous I'm taking a writing course devoted to the "Personal Essay," and my professor laments this part of the course: writing the personal statement. He hates it for all the reasons we do: it's formulaic at best, and riddled with cliches we have to include. He started this part of the course by adding his own "silly" PS for med school:

.I am a healer so I should be in medical school. Ever since I saw my pet hamster Hammy fall of a shelf and die, right before my eyes, and I felt so helpless, I knew I had to go to medical school. I know my scores and grades are low for medical school, but I don’t test well. I do try hard in everything I do, and I will do that in medical school, just ask my mother. My cousin is in medical school and I’m smarter than he is, just ask my mother. And I care about people, especially the children. We are the world, as the song goes, and it takes a village, and I want to heal that village.

LMAO!!!.
Why are we talking about this again???
 

Ischemic

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Most English professors and their TAs are a bunch of assclowns. They have this huge pretentious air like they're doing something revolutionary in this world when all they're doing is belittling people and making "works of art" that only their mothers could appreciate. As Freud would say their Ego and Superego is providing delusions so that they don't realize how worthless pieces of ****s they are and continue leading their worthless lives.
 

BBender716

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Most English professors and their TAs are a bunch of assclowns. They have this huge pretentious air like they're doing something revolutionary in this world when all they're doing is belittling people and making "works of art" that only their mothers could appreciate. As Freud would say their Ego and Superego is providing delusions so that they don't realize how worthless pieces of ****s they are and continue leading their worthless lives.
Funny story about "assclown". Snuck it into my friend's paper that he said he wasn't going to turn in. It was on the Scarlet Letter and I wrote, "in conclusion, Roger Chillingsworth was one big assclown." well he wound up turning it in and let's just say he was none too happy a month later. Yeee.
 

red10

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Deja vu? Try reading 100 per year like most adcom members do.

why is there even a personal statement then? I mean we're all writing basically the same thing. bragging without sounding like we're bragging, etc. Why not just have the essay questions on the secondary ask what you want to know about us and leave it at that.
Chances are there are very few people who actually write great PSs that are well written and insightful. Chances are they'd be able to give you that insight in a blank that says "anything else you'd like to tell us?"
 

Ischemic

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Funny story about "assclown". Snuck it into my friend's paper that he said he wasn't going to turn in. It was on the Scarlet Letter and I wrote, "in conclusion, Roger Chillingsworth was one big assclown." well he wound up turning it in and let's just say he was none too happy a month later. Yeee.
lol that's funny. You ever tell him you did it? haha
 

LizzyM

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why is there even a personal statement then? I mean we're all writing basically the same thing. bragging without sounding like we're bragging, etc. Why not just have the essay questions on the secondary ask what you want to know about us and leave it at that.
Chances are there are very few people who actually write great PSs that are well written and insightful. Chances are they'd be able to give you that insight in a blank that says "anything else you'd like to tell us?"
If every school is going to ask on the secondary then why not ask on the primary & be done with it. What is involved in a career in medicine? Why do you think you'll love a career in medicine? What sorts of things have you done that are similar to the things that doctors do on the job? (This is not about high tech clinical stuff but listening, serving, teaching etc and it could also be scientific investigation or use of machinery and/or your hands for repairs, crafts, arts, etc.)
 
Oct 30, 2009
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your English professor was rejected from medical school.
LOL! That's definitely far from the truth! My school is over 1/3 pre-med, and so focused on scientific research that funding for the humanities has been slashed. My professor was excited to teach an upper-level writing class dedicated to the personal essay (as far as you can get from the PS) only to discover that all but one student is pre-med. I can understand his frustration, since he was tenured at a time when the humanities were strong here.

He definitely never applied to med school :) He took whatever geology or astronomy "easy A" course was offered for non-science majors, and never delved into college-level bio or chemistry.

The funny thing is that he was disappointed that we all took this class for the PS, and dreaded spending time on it, but he said he was really pleasantly surprised by how much he enjoyed reading our personal statements.

I only posted this because I was amused by his take on the typical PS. I'm glad a few of you appreciated the humor.