Women and the Military - Family goals vs HPSP Military Commitment

[Reshie]

Hi All! I am a premed student applying for 2020. I have wanted to join the military since I was 17 and would love to apply for the HPSP program in the Army. The one thing holding me back is my other dream of having a family. I am scared of all the moving and commitment that I will end up missing meeting someone and having kids. I know this sounds extremely cheesy but it is a real concern of mine.

Can anyone with experience offer advice or suggestions?

Thanks!

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[militaryPHYS]

Lots of unknowns and you will be moving every 2 to 3 years. But MilMed is not family/kid prohibitive.

My wife and I met at USUHS and got married the week after we graduated. If you haven't met anyone by the end of medical school and your first duty station is stuck in the middle of nowhere or overseas then the pickings might be slim. Equivalent to practicing in a small town at a rural hospital. Meeting someone is not impossible, but odds may be lower. When you do meet someone, don't wait for the "right time" to start having kids. You won't get any younger and there will always be something else to occupy your time/stress no matter what stage in training you are. Just do it in my opinion.

I think 25% of our class had families before starting med school. There were many that had new kids during med school. Personally, my wife and I

had our first kid PGY-3 year, second kid Staff year 1 after an international move overseas. The military has a lot of support for families and kiddos. No matter what just embrace it and turn what seems like a chaotic/stressful life in to a positive. The travel and busy schedule/life we live has helped build up our kid's resiliency to the little things in life. Or they will turn in to neurotic crazies later on. Who knows.

We do not yet have experience with deployments but it is something we already discuss with our kids for when they happen. Embrace it. ​

 

[sonofva]

It is impossible to say. Everyone's experience is different drastically. You may end up in a residency that that does all rotations at one core site, you may end up somewhere and be gone for rotations every other month. You may never deploy, you may deploy for one year solid during your payback, you may have a bunch of short trips to NTC. Meeting someone should be less of an issue. The time away can be very real, and it helps if you have a spouse who can stay home or at least have a flexible work schedule. Having family willing to come help is also a huge plus.

 

[HighPriest]

As mentioned: hard to know.

But listen: all of these concerns are concerns associated with going in to medicine. You're going to spend a lot of time in class, studying, and then working. You're going to have less free time. The only real difference in the military is that you'll probably move more often and that you might deploy. Both of these things are more of a concern after residency. So if you don't meet someone or start a family before you finish residency, then it is possible these things -might- become harder in the military than they would be in the civilian world.

All that being said, I knew a TON of people who met someone, got married, and had kids in milmed. Moving didn't stop them. Deploying was a wrench in the gears, but it didn't stop them. These things can be obstacles if they occur, but they're not nails in the coffin of your future. There are lots of reasons not to do HPSP, but being afraid that you're not going to get married and start a family isn't a big one in my opinion.

I had plenty of classmates get married and have kids during residency, and many more who did it after residency.

 

[HighPriest]

And, even if you get stationed in BFE you could still meet someone and have kids. The pool is a little more shallow, but you won't be related to everyone else in the area which is a 'yuge positive.

If you get stationed in Korea, you just bring home a Korean girl (or guy, I suppose). From what I can tell, a Korean spouse is basically standard issue if you spend more than 1 year in country.

 

[Gastrapathy]

There’s a decent chance you’ll marry another military physician or officer. The young single men outnumber you pretty dramatically in the military and you’ll be around a lot of them. Particularly if you are in an isolated environment, that will be your primary pool. If you’re stationed in DC or something, then maybe not.

 

[TheEarDoc]

And, even if you get stationed in BFE you could still meet someone and have kids. The pool is a little more shallow, but you won't be related to everyone else in the area which is a 'yuge positive.

If you get stationed in Korea, you just bring home a Korean girl (or guy, I suppose). From what I can tell, a Korean spouse is basically standard issue if you spend more than 1 year in country.

Just like AMEX blue card!

 

[Ziehl-Neelsen]

If you get stationed in Korea, you just bring home a Korean girl (or guy, I suppose). From what I can tell, a Korean spouse is basically standard issue if you spend more than 1 year in country.

The land of the big PX--one of my favorite pieces of military slang.

 

[Reshie]

I really appreciate all of your responses and while it has taken me a little bit to decide after initially posting this earlier in the summer I have decided to apply! It has been something I have wanted to do since high school so thank you for helping to convince me!

 

[Serenity89]

I am currently a GMO Flight Surgeon, finishing up 4 year HPSP commitment (and you may end up becoming one if the needs of the military decide it so).
I got married during my PGY-1 year during civilian internship after I finished medical school (found my spouse on a dating app ). About to enjoy my 2nd 3 month long maternity leave. I would never get this much time with a baby if I did a civilian residency. They would have made me extend residency. I got to deploy once though while my child was a little over a year (husband handled everything just fine in my absence). So everything has its pluses and minuses. Just weigh your options. Another of my physician colleagues got divorced during her deployment... you will find that divorce is actually a frequent occurence in the military given the family separation, stress, etc.

I don't know if I would have done HPSP if I had the ability to turn back time. I think I was just afraid of being in a lot of debt. Then again, all my medical school classmates have graduated from residency and I am only applying this year ...