Working on personality, charisma, etc.

[masterMood]

---

Members do not see this ad.

I am not a really charismatic guy. In fact, I think i am pretty dull and boring when it comes to personality. I feel like i'm just another asian kid, that by the time i graduate from college, I can possibly have a high gpa, good e.c.s, recs, etc, but it really doesn't matter because i feel like i simply lack the skills to initiate a conversation with someone outside the realm of academics, pre-med stuff, and the number of hours of sleep i got last night. i guess i am more of an introvert, and kinda like it, but i realize from the beginning of college that this beyond anything else is going to kill me by the time i apply to med school, do my interviews (and i'll be doing interviews in two years anyways), and life in general. So I'm just like any other asian, not really adding much to the minority makeup of the classes, with no real talent in being funny, or interesting on cue (i've become a big nerd). I guess I've been trying to find something about me that makes me special or unique in regards with everyone else, and not being the quiet, stereotypical "Harold" (harold & kumar go to white castle reference) character that we're so considered to be. I guess the overall question is, what can i do to become interesting?

 

[NapeSpikes]

I don't claim to be an expert on the matter, but I do know that the interview phase is definitely not my biggest worry in this app process. I think college is a PERFECT time to find yourself, become more personable, and develop interests. (I'm not sure about charisma, that's a bit more elusive.) There are so many venues in college-- you have a lot of options. There must be something you like, or hobbie or interest to pursue besides being premed, right? Whether it be learning to play an instrument or sport, partying, working out, community outreach, etc., just do it. Hopefully the activity will be something that is interactive. Also, maybe you can get a part-time job/volunteership that FORCES you to be sociable, whether it be as a waiter, T.A., or peer counselor. That may help with the introvertedness. You have plenty of time with two years.

Whatever you do, have FUN! Enjoy life. Personality comes naturally.

 

[ablumoon]

Napespikes has a point. From what it sounds like, you don't really have passion in your life. Sometimes, we get so caught up in getting into good schools, making money, and impressing people, that we forget hte bigger picture. The bigger picture and reality of it is that one day, you're going to have all the things you worked so hard for--and then what? You'll realize very quickly that life is about pursuing things you want to do, spending time with loved ones, and being passionate about life...

I suggest doing something in college that you always wanted to do in high school but didn't have the time to do or felt it didn't "look good" on your resume. Join the ultimate frisbee team, maybe write for the school paper, or start training with crew. I find that my non-premed/science friends are the ones that help my keep my sanity and are just cool to be around. Branch out!! Enjoy it because college doesn't last forever and it can be one hell of an awesome time if you're true to yourself.

 

[Camillekc]

First of all, you can stop reinforcing the asian-nerd stereotype. Lots of people are introverted, not all of them asian, and the other way around as well. I've been fighting my whole life against that image of asians.

Secondly, you don't have to be the person you think adcoms want. Speaking in public is a skill, whether it is to strangers or to groups. Maybe try taking a course in public speaking/networking?

Most people aren't interesting, they just think they are. Talk to people who know you and find out what they think your positive traits are- it sounds like you are happy with the person you are, so work on being that and not changing your personality to what you think you think you should/could, but don't want to be.

 

[QofQuimica]

I think that the biggest thing you can do to make yourself "interesting" is to be passionate about something. I remember being set up on a blind date once with a guy who was so quiet during dinner that I thought he was the most boring person I had ever met. But afterward, he was showing me his art portfolio (he was a graphic designer), and it was like he was a totally different person. He became animated and excited, and it was clear that he had a real passion for his work. Even though I'm not an artist and I know nothing about graphic design, I really enjoyed looking at his work and hearing more about his experiences as an artist. The major reason for my finding graphic design exciting to learn about was because of how excited *he* was about it.

So I think that Nape's suggestion was a good one. There must be something on the face of this planet that inspires you, makes you mad, or that you otherwise have strong feelings about. Take that and run with it. If science is your thing, then really immerse yourself in it whole-heartedly. Do research, or start a biomedical ethics discussion club, or TA science classes for underclassmen, or volunteer at a local science museum. People who are passionate about something naturally want to share that interest with others, and the excitement really is contagious, especially if you are sharing it with kids. The converse is true, too: people who are lackadaisical and just kind of drift through life because they are bored are boring to others as well.

 

[happydays]

You should stay true to yourself. You may "think" you're uninteresting, but you're not other people and often times your judgement on yourself can be skewed.

When interviewed, just answer truthfully. They want to see YOU, how YOU handle things, not how you THINK they want you to act.

 

[Bluntman]

lol. this thread is hilarious. hil-ar-i-ous!

 

[oompa loompa]

I am not a really charismatic guy. In fact, I think i am pretty dull and boring when it comes to personality. I feel like i'm just another asian kid, that by the time i graduate from college, I can possibly have a high gpa, good e.c.s, recs, etc, but it really doesn't matter because i feel like i simply lack the skills to initiate a conversation with someone outside the realm of academics, pre-med stuff, and the number of hours of sleep i got last night. i guess i am more of an introvert, and kinda like it, but i realize from the beginning of college that this beyond anything else is going to kill me by the time i apply to med school, do my interviews (and i'll be doing interviews in two years anyways), and life in general. So I'm just like any other asian, not really adding much to the minority makeup of the classes, with no real talent in being funny, or interesting on cue (i've become a big nerd). I guess I've been trying to find something about me that makes me special or unique in regards with everyone else, and not being the quiet, stereotypical "Harold" (harold & kumar go to white castle reference) character that we're so considered to be. I guess the overall question is, what can i do to become interesting?

OUCH, your lack of self esteem hurts! Listen, most people aren't interesting or charismatic. That's just a fact of life. At least you realize this about yourself. With that being said, I'm sure you have interests outside of the "realm of academics, pre-med stuff, and the number of hours of sleep i got last night" that you need to be exploring in college. If you feel like you don't have any interests to explore, then the best thing you can do for yourself is to make a diverse group of friends, and trust me, their interests will grow on you. I was never excited about Russian lit until my bf introduced it to me. Now I'm hooked and wishing I majored in Slavic Studies! Good luck 🙂 . You don't need much of a personality to succeed in this world. Be confident, friendly, and you'll go far.

 

[stupibname]

I feel ur pain Hermit.... its kind of fustrating knowing that you can work hard in undergard.. get the grades.. do well on the MCAT... do ecs and then end up not getting into med school becuase interviewers don't like ur personality or don't think u will contribute anything to their school... Oh well.... I guess if adcoms don't like ur persoanlity.... you can join me in becoming a burger flipper.... 👍

 

[riceman04]

I am not a really charismatic guy. In fact, I think i am pretty dull and boring when it comes to personality. I feel like i'm just another asian kid, that by the time i graduate from college, I can possibly have a high gpa, good e.c.s, recs, etc, but it really doesn't matter because i feel like i simply lack the skills to initiate a conversation with someone outside the realm of academics, pre-med stuff, and the number of hours of sleep i got last night. i guess i am more of an introvert, and kinda like it, but i realize from the beginning of college that this beyond anything else is going to kill me by the time i apply to med school, do my interviews (and i'll be doing interviews in two years anyways), and life in general. So I'm just like any other asian, not really adding much to the minority makeup of the classes, with no real talent in being funny, or interesting on cue (i've become a big nerd). I guess I've been trying to find something about me that makes me special or unique in regards with everyone else, and not being the quiet, stereotypical "Harold" (harold & kumar go to white castle reference) character that we're so considered to be. I guess the overall question is, what can i do to become interesting?

I think charisma is an innate quality or just something that you develop as a youngster. I agree that you should just find your niche in college and let your SOCIAL interest shape you, but not to the extent that you compromise your beliefs. Allow your experiences to become apart of your overall growth. And dont be a typical pre-med by always talking about classes, pre-med stuff, and lack of sleep....

Go out....have fun....enjoy the ladies (or men..whatever)....there are so many experiences that you will have that will become memorable....and may even indirectly affect your personality.

Good luck.....DONT BE A HERMIT! 😀

 

[cfdavid]

Hey Hermit,

I wouldn't worry too much about what you view as shortcomings. Try to exploit those qualities or yours, rather than view them as a weakness.

Also, just because you may be a bit quite, and introverted, doesn't mean you can't work on being friendly (not assuming you're not) or developing your social skills. But, I wouldn't start trying to be something your not. Just use your assets accordingly, and be aware of, and accept who you are. That's very important, because it will translate into confidence, which is a huge asset.

The world needs people of all different personality types. And so does medicine.

 

[tank you]

have you tried learning an instrument? not only does it relieve stress, but since everyone in the world likes music, you always have stuff to talk about, also you can get together with others and play together for fun.

 

[Chinorean]

If you have free units, you should take a course that will supplement your personality some how...Take an acting class pass/fail for example. It will force you to break out of your shell (and if it doesn't, you can always write an essay/talk about how you tried and what you learned from it). Volunteer in something meaningful, take a trip to another country, study abroad...these things really open your eyes to the fact that there's a whole world out there and what you learn from your experiences will really develop your character.

Or start following the news and develop an opinion on what's going on. In an interview, they want to know that you're a human being. Or start reading the non-fiction books out there that talk about where our society is headed or what interesting things happened in the past.

You don't need to be a stick of dynamite to make an impression. It's a genuine interest in /something/ that they'll want to see. Let's face it, not all of us have the opportunity to immunize sickly babies in antarctica or got voted prom king. You have to at least be likeable and interesting to talk to. It's up to you to search for those experiences and not expect to become interesting overnight.

I am not a really charismatic guy. In fact, I think i am pretty dull and boring when it comes to personality. I feel like i'm just another asian kid, that by the time i graduate from college, I can possibly have a high gpa, good e.c.s, recs, etc, but it really doesn't matter because i feel like i simply lack the skills to initiate a conversation with someone outside the realm of academics, pre-med stuff, and the number of hours of sleep i got last night. i guess i am more of an introvert, and kinda like it, but i realize from the beginning of college that this beyond anything else is going to kill me by the time i apply to med school, do my interviews (and i'll be doing interviews in two years anyways), and life in general. So I'm just like any other asian, not really adding much to the minority makeup of the classes, with no real talent in being funny, or interesting on cue (i've become a big nerd). I guess I've been trying to find something about me that makes me special or unique in regards with everyone else, and not being the quiet, stereotypical "Harold" (harold & kumar go to white castle reference) character that we're so considered to be. I guess the overall question is, what can i do to become interesting?

 

[BooMed]

The best piece of social advice I've ever gotten is to be genuinely interested in others. When you meet new people, really listen to what they are saying, ask them questions about themselves and remember their names for the future. Virtually everyone on earth loves to talk about themselves, give them the opportunity and they will think you are the best conversationalist they've ever met. This has even worked for me during job interviews. 😛

 

[Camillekc]

Great advice boomed.

 

[red dot]

have you ever considered... you can intrigue your interviewers by turning your introvertedness into mysteriousness?

🙂

 

[briansle]

Hermit m Mood is obviously looking for pity. He asks the question "how can I be more interesting?" What kind of question is that? And how is anyone in this forum suppose to answer something like that?

It appears that he likes to wallow in his own self-pity and loves it when people actually pay attention to him.

Hermit your introvertness is a product of your own selfish-ego. I'm a quiet person myself, but when I go on interviews I know I must appear humble and ethusiastic about the school. Interviewers aren't looking for Mr. Charismatic or the Funny Man. They are looking for the person who will buy into what their program offers and succeed in it.

 

[63768]

you can be more interesting by practicing. you don't magically become charismatic. you do so by getting into leadership roles, speaking out, being more extroverted. introversion may be your defining characteristic but it should not limit you or your abilities. start now with the intent of being a good doctor who can communicate effectively with patients and not just someone who needs charisma for med school interviews.

also please don't reinforce the reclusive asian stereotype. i am asian and as extroverted as many others. no one is reclusive if they put the effort into getting out there.

 

[prana_md]

thanks, briansle ... that's the empathetic side that adcoms want to see :sarcasm:

I totally know how the OP feels ... I got so caught up in the grind of pre-med that I forgot to be human. I think it showed in last year's interviews ... I'm a reapplicant who's living a much more balanced life now.

The good news is that you've got time to find something(s) that you're passionate about. You still may not be the life of the party, but there's room on this planet (as someone else said) for introverts as well.

Take classes for fun! (Again, I'm repeating someone else ...)

My s.o. says that the defining class for him in undergrad was "Race in America" ... totally made him reconsider his identity and his conflicted feelings about being an asian nerd.

Take a weekend and completely f*** off. Discover what you'd do with free time away from the books.

And don't forget ... Harold gets game at the end of the movie!

 

[briansle]

And don't forget ... Harold gets game at the end of the movie!

And don't forget...that's just a movie.

In real life Harold would never get a hot chick like that. He'd end up with that other girl. I think her name was... Cindy Kim??

 

[tank you]

And don't forget...that's just a movie.

In real life Harold would never get a hot chick like that. He'd end up with that other girl. I think her name was... Cindy Kim??

i think its time you stop talking.

 

[briansle]

i think its time you stop talking.

or what

 

[cfdavid]

I think it's important to see the value in whomever, or "whatever" you are. Again, being a bit introverted is not a bad thing. It also shows maturity to acknowledge this, and humility to admit that you don't think you're all that charismatic. Those are two traits right there, that the adcoms value.

I would caution against 'trying' to be more charasmatic. Sure, you can work on some things, if you feel they are limiting you in some way. So, self-improvement doesn't need to mean being fake.
But, in general, it's been my experience to run with what comes naturally to you.

Perhaps the introverted side of you allows you more inner reflection. This could be a good thing in treating a patient. Maybe that side of you will make it easier for you to delve a bit deeper into someones illness than, say, someone that is more outwardly focused. Just make sure that you show people respect, try to smile, and be curtious. Who cares if your not the most charismatic guy? You'll be just fine.

 

[tank you]

or what

your attempt at intimidation over an anonymous forum is pathetic.

 

[briansle]

your attempt at intimidation over an anonymous forum is pathetic.

uh... I wasn't trying to intimidate you or anything. You're the one who thinks he's a tough guy by telling me to stop talking. I was curious just how you plan to do this.

 

[prana_md]

that's it. I'm enrolling briansle in "Race in America." FOR A GRADE, mofo.

 

[ms1finally]

Take a public speaking course - this will boost your confidence and your delivery.

Find some interests. Martial arts, photography, working with underserved populations (and this one looks great on AMCAS, too), SOMETHING ABOUT WHICH YOU ARE PASSIONATE. This will give you something to talk about!!! In all my interviews I was asked about "other activities," little things I did that didn't necessarily belong in AMCAS or my personal statement but that made me who I am, and I had lots to talk about. Definitely made the interviews go smoother.

 

[neovenom]

i'm asian too, and i used to be more introverted in high school. but towards my senior year, i started becoming more confident about who i was. confidence is key. be proud of who you are and the things you like. i'm not really into a lot of things that the majority of the people are (like going to bars and parties, listening to what's on the radio, dressing a certain way), but i am aware of the trends around me, and i think that's enough to hold a decent conversation with the average person.

as for a med school interview, it's more important for you to be an effective speaker about the things you like. don't worry about whether or not they'll like your interests; it's more important that they understand the message you're trying to get across. afterall, when you become a doctor, your personal interests and hobbies are irrelevant to how well you can treat a patient. your job is to help them understand the diagnosis and treatment plan.

 

[yrodri15]

Hey Hermit, Q of Qumica was right on the mark. Find something you are passionate about...

Try some extracurricular stuff, i.e. try a salsa lesson - In Miami, he who dances 'salsa' or anything that resembles, gets hot exotic women.

Haha, but in any case, try watching comedy central - a sense of humor is great... oh man... my brain .... must... stop procrastinating.

 

[medhacker]

In Miami, he who dances 'salsa' or anything that resembles, gets hot exotic women.

Indeed!

Dancing exotic dances, and dancing it well seems to be associated with love-making somehow.... 😱

 

[RandomGuy]

Hermit, I suggest that you forget about the medical admissions process for the time being. Social skills are important not only for medical school interviews, but for life in general, especially if you want to be a doctor. If you really think so poorly of your capacity to hold a conversation, then I think you should see a therapist. You can probably find one at your school. The Harold and Kumar movie is misleading in that Harold "breaks out of his shell" over the course of a day or so. Change doesn't come that easily. If you want to change you really need to commit to it. No series of cliches or movies with feel-good endings will get you anywhere. See a psychologist.

 

[Thundrstorm]

First of all, stop thinking of yourself as just a member of your race. The fact that you'r Asian doesn't make you any more boring or interesting; it's just one aspect of who you are and it has as much relevance as you give it.

Secondly, no one can tell you how to be interesting; you either are or you aren't. If you aren't, try some new things and push yourself beyond what's comfortable. Make some friends who are totally unlike you. Loosen up, but don't approach it the way you would an assignment... that defeats the purpose.

I'm naturally very introverted and reserved. Sometimes I'm really shy. Sometimes people just don't interest me and I don't want to be bothered. That's perfectly okay. Of course, you want to be able to converse with people in professional or social situations, but no everyone has to be an extrovert. I've found that I've naturally become more outgoing as I get older. Don't force it. I used to put myself in a lot of anguish over my perceived personality flaws; fortunately, I got over that back in high school. The first step to becoming a more likeable person is to like yourself. I know, I sound like Oprah, but it's true. I'm not the best at small talk; I'll never be a social butterfly. But I like myself, and I do things that I think are fun, so I'm always able to carry on an intelligent and hopefully engaging conversation. If you don't do anything outside of class or pre-med stuff, you must be BORED... and that's why you're boring. The solution? Have fun.

Join atleast one organization on campus. Do some volunteering (and I don't mean in a hospital.... paint a preschool or something... people always bond while painting). Take up a sport or game or something. Figure out what you like; that's what you're supposed to be doing at this age. And I beg you, don't make it about med school. If you try to be an interesting person just to prep for med school interviews, I guarantee that you are NOT going to be interesting.

 

[Gavanshir]

Me on the other hand, I have SOOOO much charisma and my personality is exuberant!! But my grades are lacking and I constantly struggle to bring them up 🙁

 

[masterMood]

thank you for allt he advice, much of it really resonated, i think my main problem was that i thought that i couldn't get out of that stereotypical quiet math/sciencey asian character, and be different. I always found it ironic how the things i'm good at (tennis, math, computers, etc) were the same for many other asians as well, but it's alright. I think the mistake i made in high school was that i tried to be too much like the "perfect" applicant. But that in reality made me a boring person because the stuff i did I thought was boring.

I think i want to join a volleyball team, pickup piano, and maybe be a ta in some classes, as i do enjoy teaching other people. so i guess everything will naturally fall in its place, when i pick the things i want to do. however, i also realize that i must do some things extracurricularly that i may or may not like (in order to impress med. schools too you know), but that's alright when everything balances out.

 

[NapeSpikes]

thank you for allt he advice, much of it really resonated...I think i want to join a volleyball team, pickup piano, and maybe be a ta in some classes, as i do enjoy teaching other people. so i guess everything will naturally fall in its place, when i pick the things i want to do.

Now we're talkin.' 👍 Good luck to you!

 

[Darth Asclepius]

Also, maybe you can get a part-time job/volunteership that FORCES you to be sociable, whether it be as a waiter, T.A., or peer counselor. That may help with the introvertedness.

This is true. I used to be really shy and didn't talk to anyone I didn't know. Then I got a job waiting tables and my ability to pay my tuition, rent, and eat depended on my ability to talk to people I had never met. Despite what you might think about tips being dependent on how good a waiter you are, that is wrong. That has something to do with it, but it often depends on if the people liked you. I now talk to lots of people I don't know and I'm sure the skill will come in handy with patients.

 

[prana_md]

Hermit, look at your own signature! Anyone who quotes the Blues Brothers is definitely headed in the right direction! (I hate Illinois Nazis ...) HAVE FUN!!!