Would this be very rude?

[Chrissy]

---

Members do not see this ad.

I'm applying to post bacc programs right now and i asked my current supervisor (she actually offered at the same time) for a recommendation about a month ago telling her it was rolling admissions but I wanted to send out the app as close to oct. 1 as possible....a week and half after she offered to write it, she told me she was going on vacation with her family for a week....so i asked her "can i expect the letter when you get back then?" or something like that and she said "yeah when i get back I havent had time to do it"....kinda awkward. this is now the third week shes been back from vacation and still no letter...i sent the rest of the app 3 weeks ago and i got an e-mail saying it's considered incomplete without this letter....i'm starting to get kinda mad is there anything i can do without being super rude? about 2 weeks ago i needed to e-mail her about something work related on a friday and she included in the bottom of the e-mail "i plan on working on your letter this weekend i'll let you know next week when i finish it"....2 weeks ago! nothing. I wouldn't mind but I really am worried this one little thing is jeapordizing my chances to get it....any thoughts? suggestions? thank you!

 

[fun8stuff]

I'm applying to post bacc programs right now and i asked my current supervisor (she actually offered at the same time) for a recommendation about a month ago telling her it was rolling admissions but I wanted to send out the app as close to oct. 1 as possible....a week and half after she offered to write it, she told me she was going on vacation with her family for a week....so i asked her "can i expect the letter when you get back then?" or something like that and she said "yeah when i get back I havent had time to do it"....kinda awkward. this is now the third week shes been back from vacation and still no letter...i sent the rest of the app 3 weeks ago and i got an e-mail saying it's considered incomplete without this letter....i'm starting to get kinda mad is there anything i can do without being super rude? about 2 weeks ago i needed to e-mail her about something work related on a friday and she included in the bottom of the e-mail "i plan on working on your letter this weekend i'll let you know next week when i finish it"....2 weeks ago! nothing. I wouldn't mind but I really am worried this one little thing is jeapordizing my chances to get it....any thoughts? suggestions? thank you!

IMHO, what she is doing to you is pretty rude. I'm not sure what I would do. I guess I would start emailing her once a week until she gets it done. If I am reminding her by email, I would forward her the email that said your file is incomplete. In the email just say that you wanted to check on it's status and that you really need it because it is the last thing needed to complete your file (even if you already said this once). It's not rude to check on the status- especially after she already told you it would be done.

 

[leia623]

I had the same problem with one of my recommenders. The lady wouldn't even call me back when I called to check on it. And I gave her 3 or 4 months notice. Anyway, what I did was, I brought her cookies with a thank you note for writing the letter. Often times, that makes them feel guilty, so they decide to get it done. Unfortunately, it didn't work this time, so I ended up talking to her boss. I wouldn't suggest that unless you're really desperate. Just keep being polite and persistant, and try the cookies, it may work. Good luck
Gina

 

[Chrissy]

I had the same problem with one of my recommenders. The lady wouldn't even call me back when I called to check on it. And I gave her 3 or 4 months notice. Anyway, what I did was, I brought her cookies with a thank you note for writing the letter. Often times, that makes them feel guilty, so they decide to get it done. Unfortunately, it didn't work this time, so I ended up talking to her boss. I wouldn't suggest that unless you're really desperate. Just keep being polite and persistant, and try the cookies, it may work. Good luck
Gina

thank you so much for the advice....the situation is just so awkward. She's a pediatrician and i work very very closely with her so that almost makes it more awkward....and shes giving the rec to me and i'm gonna mail it (cuz originally i planned on including it in my packet)....i just feel like such a nag asking again after i asked a couple of weeks ago and got a smug answer....the other thing thats terrible is i see her 2x a week on mon and tues....so if i get nothing tomm i know another week is shot...sorry i'm totally ranting i'm just a lil angry. i apologize.

 

[robotsonic]

She is being rude. She should have had it done weeks ago. I might try the thank you cookies.

When I was applying to med school, one of my letter writers never came through - I mean never. I had to actually go to someone else and ask them to do a super fast letter of recommendation. Thankfully, the guy did it, but I was pretty pissed about the first guy.

 

[Chrissy]

She is being rude. She should have had it done weeks ago. I might try the thank you cookies.

When I was applying to med school, one of my letter writers never came through - I mean never. I had to actually go to someone else and ask them to do a super fast letter of recommendation. Thankfully, the guy did it, but I was pretty pissed about the first guy.

wow. that's just so hard for me to believe. Like i said I work closely with her so I KNOW she is seriously very very busy but on weekends? during office hours? i mean i admit i'd like a good letter but i cant see it taking more than an hour! i think i'm gonna try the ol' passive agressive place the school pamphlet on her desk so it's in her face when she coms up here later....haha i just want her to acknowledge it and let me know when i can expect it.

 

[Gavanshir]

This is a situation where you should use some comedy when approaching her. Just make jokingly remarks regarding the recommendation letter, use a sarcastic tone and ask her about it.

 

[Maerad]

I had the same problem with one of my recommenders. The lady wouldn't even call me back when I called to check on it. And I gave her 3 or 4 months notice. Anyway, what I did was, I brought her cookies with a thank you note for writing the letter. Often times, that makes them feel guilty, so they decide to get it done. Unfortunately, it didn't work this time, so I ended up talking to her boss. I wouldn't suggest that unless you're really desperate. Just keep being polite and persistant, and try the cookies, it may work. Good luck
Gina

hehehehehe. I tried the same thing with 2 of my letter writers. It didn't work on them either. 🙄

 

[fromthetips]

I had this problem a couple months ago with one of my letter writers. Finally, I straight up called and emailed him and said, (it was Monday), "all of my letters of rec are do at the following schools (X,Y,Z) this Friday. I have already paid the app fees for those schools and if I miss the deadline my app will be withdrawn". Then I was like, "I'll plan on coming by Wednesday morning to pick up the letter at your office".

Amazingly, after months of wait, that same afternoon, I got a call and e-mail from him saying he was putting the finishing touches on the letter and I could pick it up the next day and he was sorry for the delay.

So basically, lie to them and say you will come by to pick it up or something. These people ahve no idea how the actual process works so they will never know.

 

[crazy_cavalier]

I had the same problem with one of my recommenders. The lady wouldn't even call me back when I called to check on it. And I gave her 3 or 4 months notice. Anyway, what I did was, I brought her cookies with a thank you note for writing the letter. Often times, that makes them feel guilty, so they decide to get it done. Unfortunately, it didn't work this time, so I ended up talking to her boss. I wouldn't suggest that unless you're really desperate. Just keep being polite and persistant, and try the cookies, it may work. Good luck
Gina

That sounds like a good plan. If the cookies didn't work the first time, here's an idea for your second go. Write the letter yourself, paperclip a ben franklin on there, and indicate where your recommender should sign.