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That would not bother me. He is their actual child.. you are only related to them by marriage, and with the divorce rates in this country why should they risk spending their money on you? (no offense)
why has no one commented on how funny this is given the OP's name? kudos, blearghshoot some granzymes at them
probably because you, me, and the OP are the only ones nerdy enough to find that humorous.. but thanks.why has no one commented on how funny this is given the OP's name? kudos, bleargh
You marry sugar mommas not sugar grandparents. I'm bothered that you are bothered.
It's one thing to funnel money to your wife. Its another to funnel it to you for tuition.I didn't marry at all for money. Like I said, I don't expect anything from anybody, and getting 0 help from parents/in-laws has never bothered me at all in the past. The only reason I'm kind of bothered is that I personally find it strange to shell out 40k/year for your son (also married) so he can live comfortably, and you give 0 to your daughter, who is in a terrible financial situation and lives off top ramen.
And I'll repeat, don't blow this out of proportion and make me sound all bitter, angry, jealous, etc... All I said is that I'm slightly bothered by it, and I just wanted to hear other people's opinions. After spending a few more minutes on this thread, I'll probably forget about this subject until the next time I have to sign on the dotted line for my loans.
It's one thing to funnel money to your wife. Its another to funnel it to you for tuition.
In the event of a split, you take 100% of the benefit in your paid tuition whereas throwing a few thousand to her for your living expenses, she gets some use out of and had you not been married probably would have gone to her anyways.But helping with my tuition is essentially funneling money to my wife, is it not? We are a married couple, you know, with the same checking account, same savings account, etc... Any money that helps me out helps her out. Just sayin...
I just think its strange that, if they have the resources, they wouldn't help you (and, invariably, their daughter) lower some debt. It only makes sense, if they are willing to do it for their son they should do it for their daughter. You two will share the debt - it isn't just a matter of son vs son-in-law.
I didn't marry at all for money. Like I said, I don't expect anything from anybody, and getting 0 help from parents/in-laws has never bothered me at all in the past. The only reason I'm kind of bothered is that I personally find it strange to shell out 40k/year for your son (also married) so he can live comfortably, and you give 0 to your daughter, who is in a terrible financial situation and lives off top ramen.
And I'll repeat, don't blow this out of proportion and make me sound all bitter, angry, jealous, etc... All I said is that I'm slightly bothered by it, and I just wanted to hear other people's opinions. After spending a few more minutes on this thread, I'll probably forget about this subject until the next time I have to sign on the dotted line for my loans.
probably because you, me, and the OP are the only ones nerdy enough to find that humorous.. but thanks.
IMO there is a reason she takes on your last name after marriage, because she is being married out of the family.
I am bothered by THIS...
FYI, getting married doesn't mean you are no longer a part of your own family... also, many women are married and do not change their last name...
I thought we were in 2010 not 1950!!
I clicked your MDapps profile because I figured you were Asian, and I was right. This seems to be a more prevalent concept in Asian families, but it is certainly not the case in white families.basically, if you're under thirty right now, meaning.. u married their daugther at age 23 or below.. then they must not like you or agree with your marriage. they might show they do, but they don't. if they have the money, and they've grown to like/love you, then they'd help.
Really? It wouldn't bother me in the least. It would actually bother me if they wanted to pay for any of my schooling. I feel uncomfortable enough with (future) inlaws getting me a gift for my birthday or Christmas.
Did your wife's parents help pay for *her* education? If so then her parents have already done more than their fair share to help you and your wife out. Besides, she is married now and that changes things considerably. She presumably knew the lifestyle she was marrying into and that was her choice.
My in-laws have a ton of money but don't/won't pay my tuition. Does it bother me? Not really.. I never expected anyone to pay for it. Do I wish they would, since they can clearly afford it? Absolutely.
That really isn't the issue at all that I'm discussing. The issue would never have come up if they hadn't payed for their sons 40k tuition. I still don't expect them to pay for my tuition or necessarily even want them to. Even with my own children, even if I have a ton of money I don't think I'll pay for their entire medical school tuition if they decided to go that route. I may help them out here and there, but they will have to pay for the majority on their won. That being said, if I was going to pay and help my son out 40k/year while he was in medical school so he wasn't in debt, I would feel kind of strange if I completely neglected my daughter who was in a terrible financial situation because her husband was in medical school.
And for someone else who asked, my wife had a scholarship in undergraduate so they didn't have to pay for her schooling.
Just to repeat, the issue here IS NOT THAT I'M BOTHERED THAT I'M NOT GETTING ANY MONEY, I TRULY DON'T EXPECT ANY. The issue is that I find it strange to shell out the cash to the son and neglect your daughter and son in law. If they didn't give their son any money, none of this would be an issue.
Why would that bother you? 1) they are not your biological folks and 2) how do you know that they simply do not have the funds to put you BOTH through medical school?
No. I think there's a significant difference between son-in-law and son.
No. I think there's a significant difference between son-in-law and son.
No. I think there's a significant difference between son-in-law and son.
No. I think there's a significant difference between son-in-law and son.
No. I think there's a significant difference between son-in-law and son.
No. I think there's a significant difference between son-in-law and son.
No. I think there's a significant difference between son-in-law and son.
That really isn't the issue at all that I'm discussing. The issue would never have come up if they hadn't payed for their sons 40k tuition. I still don't expect them to pay for my tuition or necessarily even want them to. Even with my own children, even if I have a ton of money I don't think I'll pay for their entire medical school tuition if they decided to go that route. I may help them out here and there, but they will have to pay for the majority on their won. That being said, if I was going to pay and help my son out 40k/year while he was in medical school so he wasn't in debt, I would feel kind of strange if I completely neglected my daughter who was in a terrible financial situation because her husband was in medical school.
And for someone else who asked, my wife had a scholarship in undergraduate so they didn't have to pay for her schooling.
Just to repeat, the issue here IS NOT THAT I'M BOTHERED THAT I'M NOT GETTING ANY MONEY, I TRULY DON'T EXPECT ANY. The issue is that I find it strange to shell out the cash to the son and neglect your daughter and son in law. If they didn't give their son any money, none of this would be an issue.
Despite claiming other wise you come off as sounding very entitled to other peoples money. You're obviously jealous of your brother-in-law because someone is paying his tuition. There is a big difference between paying for YOUR medical education and helping their daughter. You are an adult and should take responsibility for your own expenses. Even if it was your biological parents they should not be expected to pay your way. Let them spend THEIR money on what they want.
Whether the money comes from them or from loans either way you will have a similar lifestyle, just less money to pay back later.