Would you choose the traditional path if you could go back in time(given that life didn't get in the way)?

[arisharvey0]

TL;DR
Given that you're in med school now or even an MD, do you think that going back in time and being "traditional" would have prepared you better for all the journey of becoming a doctor entails because of x,y,z etc. ? Or would you say becoming a non-trad actually gave you an advantage at least on a personal level to get to where you are now.
If you have some time to spare please read what's below and any serious replies is much appreciated. This forum has been but a positive influence in my life and hopefully the trolls will keep away.

CURRENT SITUATION/LIFE STORY:
I am a naturalized citizen of US. I immigrated here with my whole family at the age of 16(after 3 days of graduating high school from a 3rd world country). I got culture shocked right away and still suffer the same challenges I had back then. Mainly, I am fluent enough to write but talking or expressing myself clearly is very difficult for me to the point that I just keep my thoughts to myself. With the challenges that come when migrating and living a life of relationshiplessness(having no friends or anyone to turn to), I quickly developed depression and got morbidly obese. I have taken action on trying to make relationships but those people I meet are much older than me and have families so I can't be "buddies" with them. I find that making friends when you're an adult is really hard compared to when you are in your teens or younger. I find people my age(18-25) to be very busy with their jobs and schooling like I am and really the people they are friends with are from HS or workplace. When people befriend each others in class they usually drift apart unless they are of the same major with the same classes. About my physical health, I'm working on it
Not sure why I wrote the paragraph above but it seems a fitting context to what I'm considering right now. That is, I want to join the military ROTC specifically the Air Force to be able to live independently from my parents so that I can actually force myself to grow in terms of leadership or life skills(specifically talking-expressing myself clearly and articulately). I'm thinking of joining the military because that is the only way I can separate from my parents who have depended on me a little too much. I am currently not working but I drive for my mother(RN-BSN) everyday because she's a terrible driver and my fathers insists on me to drive for her so that her safety is guaranteed. That has left me with a limited choice on the classes I could take or the best professors to take, and also volunteering or doing something premed related is not possible. My father just realized that I won't be able to drive my mother for as long as I am alive because I have to transfer soon to a university which might be an hour or hopefully not hours away from home. But I feel like it's "too late" for me now to just do what I have to do because I am sophomore and all the things I should have done as a premed was supposed to be done much earlier. I am a Math major and I am 1 math class away after this semester from transferring but I've only finished Gen Chem 1 for my prereqs. I still have to take Bio, more Chem, and Physics classes which will take around 1.5 years to finish. That also means I have familial duty to fulfill for 1.5 years and I would only be able to finish prereqs while having no other stuff to put in my resume/cv/admission/essay whatever. Once I finish my prereqs and get to transfer to uni I have to worry about MCAT. Right now I am not doing well academically. I tried to prepare for this semester as much as I can but because of lack of help I made some big mistakes(one of which is my fault). I took 4 BCPM(Linear Algebra,Diff Eq, Calc 3, Gen Chem 2) and now I all have D's for my classes. I just recently dropped Diff Eqs because that's what my counselor suggested. I made a post about that situation and now I'm hoping that I can recuperate from the devastating D's that I got after dropping 1 class. If I don't really do well enough this semester it will be a huge blow to my 4.0 and I might quickly drop to 3.5. Considering that I have more (difficult)classes to take for my last 2 years of undergrad, 3.5 is not a really good place to be at. That is why I think that joining the military would be a good fit for me. I'll gain independence, life skills(adulting), and most of all the exposure to so much talking that my stutters, mispronunciations, and deficiencies in English will mostly go away. I think I give off a vibe that I'm perfectly fine with my English but face-to-face it is very hard for me to articulate on-the-spot whatever I think of. I can write much better because I have time and the ability to think what to write. Face-to-face communication doesn't give me that. I forgot to mention that my parents are pro-military and they want me to join whilst wanting me to become a doctor ASAP! So many details are left out to make this readable by a patient person. Here is my closing/concluding remarks etc.

IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION would you
A) join the military ROTC to get my bachelors right away (without the stress of having to perform well on my premed prereqs because I'm going to take them when I start working in the military then apply for med school)
B) find an alternative to military where I can get better at speaking(whilst performing all the premed stuff and doing it WELL)(this option is very improbable given my family situation)
C) Your suggestion

I know my title seems a bit far away from the current situation that I am in but I consider option B as being a "traditional" path even though I'm sure I'm not going to be treated as a tradition student by admission since I'm already 23 and might be around 27 or 28 when I get my bachelors. If I go with option A that will delay me much further but in terms of being prepared well for med school and life generally I think that's the option that gives me the highest probability of being accepted at any med school. I don't really have anyone to ask so I turned here instead. Hopefully I'll get a few decent replies.

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[TragicalDrFaust]

I started medical school this year at the age of 28 because I took several years off from undergrad for mental health reason. I also paid for undergrad independently so sometimes took classes part time. The advantages of being my age:

- work experience: maturity, interpersonal skills, leadership
- developed pre-frontal cortex: no more partying and bs, unhealthy relationships
- met my fiancé prior to medical school
- I can cook my own meals

Disadvantages:
- the younger students understand technology better than I do and I sometimes feel I’m missing out on resources they know about
- harder to connect with classmates
- lost years of physician’s salary
- will be older when I start having kids

In response to the long part of your post, I think you may be getting ahead of yourself. You’re fighting an uphill battle if you have that level of family responsibility, are struggling with communication skills and are trying to major in math. What’s your reasoning behind the major? Usually the benefits don’t outweigh the costs, especially if it pulls your GPA down starting sophomore year.

Next thing, joining the military to improve your communication skills is somewhere between overkill and unrelated. If you want to join the military to escape your parents then do it. But you will need to be able to complete their fitness test, which may prove challenging if you’re morbidly obese. You can also get kicked out if you don’t have your **** together as far as life skills and they might not teach you everything you’re expecting. Basically the military won’t make you into a functional human, much less a respectable person. They’ll make you into whatever the US govt needs you to be if you already are a functional human.

If you want to improve your communication skills, see if you can find a seminar style, discussion based liberal arts class. Or even find someone at your CC who wants to learn your first language and team up so you can practice English and they can practice your first language. I believe there are free online services that help people find language partners.

 

[GreenDuck12]

A) join the military ROTC to get my bachelors right away (without the stress of having to perform well on my premed prereqs because I'm going to take them when I start working in the military then apply for med school)

There will still be stress to do well in your classes. If you are interested in military service you should pursue it. However, IMO, joining the military to improve your English language skills will not yield the results you want. I was an esl teacher for many years before going to medical school.

B) find an alternative to military where I can get better at speaking(whilst performing all the premed stuff and doing it WELL)(this option is very improbable given my family situation)

You need years of intense study in rigorous English classes to develop the fluency to tackle the MCAT. The military will not provide rigorous academic language classes nor an environment that will help you develop your academic language skills.

You also need to figure out your family situation.

C) Your suggestion

 

[Sn00pygrrl]

I'm not (yet) in medical school or a practicing physician, so you may not be as interested in my opinion on this, but you posed an interesting thought experiment, so I thought I would weigh in.

First, check out the results of your poll! Wow. That took me a little aback, but on the other hand, I also would NOT go back in time to the person I was at 21 years old and go straight through undergrad +/- gap year to medical school. For those who know at age 21 or 22 exactly what they want to do and how much they can't wait to take care of patients, wow--I'm humbled by your maturity and poise.

I never would have had an inkling about how much I would enjoy taking care of patients at that age--I was too shy and emotionally immature, too influenced by my parents' dreams for me (they wanted me to be a writer/journalist), and too self-oriented (not other-oriented). I also lacked confidence in my abilities after years of being told I was "bad at math," which in retrospect was completely untrue (I got A's in math, but had to work for them, unlike my siblings who were naturally gifted). In short, I didn't have the emotional or intellectual maturity to make such a consequential decision about how to focus my life and then, even if I'd had the maturity, I likely wouldn't have had the grit/resilience needed to slog through 7+ years of all-consuming post-graduate training.

Working in healthcare as a nurse/NP for more than a decade has taught me so many life skills I could never have predicted I would even need, and for that I am eternally grateful to nursing even as I seek to leave nursing and enter medicine. Managing patient care at the bedside (and now a panel of more than 80 patients) has prepared me well for being incredibly organized and time-efficient, which is invaluable for all the hoop-jumping along this journey. Most importantly, it has prepared me for the day-to-day work of taking care of patients, which is the essential job of a physician. I am lucky that I work in a unique situation that allows me to have shared patient visits with physicians and since I work with 20+ physicians, I have seen a lot of different styles at this point. The one thing that all of these physicians have in common is that at the end of the day, their commitment to the patient's health is their highest priority and they will move heaven and earth to get the patient the care they need.

At 21 years of age, I couldn't have fathomed making that kind of commitment to a patient, much less to a career or to myself. So, in sum, I think I needed at least 5-10 years post-college to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be. It took me a long time to even admit to myself that I wanted to go into healthcare and serve others, mainly because I was still subconsciously influenced by my childhood/adolescence and my parents' goals for me. I hadn't really created space in my life to determine MY own goals for myself.

In sum, I'm in awe of those who can start this journey at age 22 and several years later still feel it is what they truly wanted. I needed many years of exploration and learning to get to this point, but for me personally, it was the right path.

 

[psydoc80]

If I had to do it over, I prefer the traditional path. You get started in life earlier and any time lost is life lost. i'm still happy I went to med school (at age 33) and I am now happy with my career. wish I had done it sooner. I am also a naturalized citizen.
Back to your situations:
1) ROTC, it's a personal choice. Can you conform to military life? I can't because it's just my personality. If you can do it then maybe that's the best option, your education will be paid for, you can get away from your parents and get your bachelors. but, then will you be able to transfer into another bachelors program.
2) if ROTC is not possible then changing to a less difficult major could help. this way you can repair your GPA.
3) Your familial duties: what else are you expected to do besides driving your mom? how many hours a day does it take from your time? this is a factor. if it's just driving her to work and back (twice a day) then I don't see that as a problem. What else are you expected to do and how many people in the home?: cook? laundry? do dishes? I think cooking and doing grocery takes up a lot of time even when you are a family of 3, if more than that then it's a real problem. Doing dishes for a family of 3 is not a big deal at least for me. I like doing dishes.
4) If you just want to get away from your parents period! then transferring to distant college is a good idea. I still think changing major is a good thing. I don't know about you but I'm not very good at math so I would not be able to get good grades and GPA is very important for med school application.

 

[ValeRx]

ROTC is not a good segway into medical school. You will incur a separate obligation if you contract with ROTC. When you graduate with your Bachelors degree, you will be expected to serve out that obligation. You can't just flip over to med school and pursue that path. I would check out the Military Medicine forum located off the main page and ask your questions there.