I'm in the middle of tweaking my personal statement and changed my first paragraph - if its any good, I might go a whole new direction with my statement. Here is my first paragraph, tell me if it peaks your interest, if you'd want to keep reading it, is it too cheesy? etc. (And I'll admit to being a naturally cheesy type of a guy...) ...edit.... From there, (if I decide to go this route) I would explain about first meeting my new pediatrician when I was a kid and how happy he made both me and my mom and how this planted seeds about me wanting to be a doctor. I would then of course explain everything else that has further shaped me and my desire to practice medicine. But anyways, thoughts on my potentially new opening paragraph?