You and your spouse in residency at the same time (w/kids). How do you manage?

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Thank you very much to all who have contributed to this thread. It has been almost a year since I started this thread, so I thought that I would give it a "bump" to see if anyone else had any experiences/thoughts/insightful comments to share.

As far as our situation, I am going into Radiation Oncology and my wife is leaning towards Pediatrics or Child Psychiatry. The "normal" schedule that you typically see in RadOnc residency (generally 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. at the office with an incredible amount of reading/studying to do on your own) should allow us to use daycare rather extensively in addition to hopefully finding an honest, trustworthy female college student to help when we are busy with work. Thanks again to all of those who took the time to share and thank you in advance for all of those who choose to add to this thread. :)

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Sounds like you know what you are up against. As a residency family with kids, I would just add two things:
1) it helps to cultivate a whole stable of babysitters, especially if they will be students with unpredictable schedules themselves. There will be times when you won't make some pickup time at daycare and you will be frantically dialing through your list, trying to find someone to do pickup. And 2) have a plan for when the kid(s) are sick. A lot of daycare places won't let you drop sick kids (and your kids will want to be at home, anyway). If you can afford an apartment with an extra bedroom, you can have one of your babysitters live with you and be around for these emergencies -- which seem to happen with regularity during the first, oh, 18 years of a child's life. Daycare is not a particularly flexible solution (some charge $5 for every minute you are late at pickup), so you'll need some flexibility elsewhere.

And good luck!
 
OK, for real. Explain what was so wrong with my post. It's been a year and I still don't get it.... The question was "what child care options are out there if both spouses are working 80 hours/wk?" I answered it as best I could.

Don't get me wrong-- I don't think that's the BEST way to raise a kid. But just in case one comes along during residency, what would you do to cope? You've got three options, which you can use in combo: daycare, in-house help (nanny or au pair), and family.
 
The problem with your post is that none of these recommendations is even remotely plausible.
1) use day care maximally (say, 7-6) and hire someone to drop the child off in the morning, pick him up in the evenings and take care of him on weekends/evenings only. Depending on the daycare, this is probably the cheapest option.

First of all, some states won't let you leave your child in daycare for more than ten hours at a time. But set that aside and focus on the money...

In most cities large enough to support a residency program, a reputable daycare will cost at least $1000/month for 5x weekly coverage. On top of that, you recommend hiring someone to provide daily stopgap coverage. That's gotta be at least $75 a day x 5 days weekly. That's another $1500 a month. So far, we're up to $30,000 annual childcare expense (you can pay the first $5000 annually pre-tax through a DCAP, the rest is post-tax). $30,000 gone and the baby still hasn't been fed, clothed, or diapered.

The rest of your recommendations are even further out in left field. TWO nannies? Are you made of money????
 
that's what people do. Seriously.

Like I said a year ago, read Michelle Au's blog for an example of a dual-resident couple, with a nanny and stopgap daycare coverage, in New York, with loans, without rich parents helping out.
 
BD is right, some people do that. And it is crazy expensive. But not as expensive as going to medical school and then not becoming a doctor.

I'm an intern and the mother of one toddler boy. My husband, however, is not in medicine. My hat is off to all you two-resident families. I'm tired just thinking about it.
 
I've skimmed through most of these posts and I'd have to agree with those that recommend an au pair. It is much cheaper than a US nanny and even daycare if you have more than one kid. My chief resident had one and it worked out well for her and her husband. Otherwise, family close by is a necessity.
 
I've skimmed through most of these posts and I'd have to agree with those that recommend an au pair.

Au pairs are contractually limited to 45 hours/week.
 
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