You know you are in Medical School when....

[monchiormeno]

Hi guys!
My best friend, who is a 4th year in Med School in Peru send me a funny e-mail. I hope my translation skills don't destroy the humor of it. Feel free to add more quotes to it.

You know that you are in Medical School when.....

* It does matter if you are a 3rd or 4th year, people still ask you with horror whether you have already seen dead people (nobody seems to know that Anatomy happens during 1st year)

*Your parents and your friend's parents stop introducing you by your name. They just say: "This is my daughter/son who goes to Medical School".

*Your find yourself telling people that you can't go out on a Friday or Saturday night because you have to study or you are on call.

*The sun rises and you haven't even gone to bed, yet (and it's not because you went out the night before).

*It doesn't matter how much you study, there is always so much more material to learn.

*If you go out of town for the weekend, you take more books than clothes with you.

*You can't wait for weekends.....so that you can catch up on your readings.

*You are more familiar with last names such as Netter, Moore, Grant, Guyton, Robbins, etc than the last names of your classmates.

*You take forever explaining to people how long you'll be in school for.

*You feel that all your friends from high school chose easier majors.

*You wonder when you'll have time to get married and start a family.

*You can be sure that 80% of your male classmates will marry a nurse and 80% of your female classmates won't marry at all.

*You feel that their is very few things that can still creep you out.

*You drink more coffee than water during the day.

*You miss the days when you knew about current events in the nation.

*You learn of a war starting, after it ends.

*You check the nutritional chart in the boxes of everything you eat.

*Right before exams, you have a hard time remembering why you want to be a doctor.

*Your don't have "backpain"; you have a somatic dysfunction on .....

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[gilleon]

You know you're in med school when you start seeing what looks exactly like liquifactive necrosis lesions in the sidewalk AND your classmate doesn't blink an eye when you mention it out loud.

 

[Megalofyia]

Originally posted by monchiormeno

*You can be sure that 80% of your male classmates will marry a nurse and 80% of your female classmates won't marry at all.

That's just depressing.

 

[monchiormeno]

*You have eliminated the suffix LOGY from your lexicon: Histo, Physio, Micro, etc.

 

[DOtobe]

It's scary how true all of those are!

 

[muonwhiz]

You also know when you're sitting in a lecture hall watching slides of a buck naked patient on his stomach with helmiths coming from the posterior orifice - and you have to remember which variety and what medicines to give!

 

[jhug]

you get phone calls from friends and obscure relatives that start out "hey, how are you? i've been meaning to ask you...i've got this rash...."

 

[medic0129]

You've been in med school to long when your version of a dirty joke is "what does the chorda tympani and vagina have in common?"

 

[Runtita]

Originally posted by muonwhiz
You also know when you're sitting in a lecture hall watching slides of a buck naked patient on his stomach with helmiths coming from the posterior orifice - and you have to remember which variety and what medicines to give!

...while simultaneously having your stomach growling in hunger.

 

[Yosh]

Just wanted to say.....this is hysterical...

Keep up the good work!!!

..and let those nurses know I AM COMING FOR THEM!

 

[Amra]

Yosh! D00d - how you been out there in Cali? Wondering if you remember me - I stayed with you when i interviewed out there.. Real name = Brian.

-A

 

[medic0129]

When your professor describes, "the kidney as being kidney shaped."

 

[medic0129]

When the line to learn how to give a cadaver a digital pelvic/rectal exam is longer then the line for the bars on a weekend night...

 

[Amra]

give a cadaver a digital pelvic/rectal exam

You PCOMers ACTUALLY had to do that?

Kinda reminds me of the scene in Road Trip where they are discussing the 'rules' of not cheating on your girlfriend... and the nerdy one comes up with the "rubbing peanut butter ... dog lick it off" rule...

-A

 

[monchiormeno]

As much as I liked the school, I'm sooooooooooo glad I didn't end up going to PCOM! We don't have to do a rectal/pelvic exam in our cadavers at NYCOM, either.

Keep them coming, guys! I really like what people have added to this post!

 

[luckystar]

When you feel a strange pride in having the part of your cadaver that you spend a good amount of time dissecting out tagged for the practical.

and

When you wonder why people are giving you weird looks as your friend explains the latest perverted mnemonic to you as you sit in a cafe.

 

[medic0129]

Yes. Pelvic. As disturbing as it was, I chalked it up to "an educational experience."

I love PCOM.

 

[Amra]

...only a med student would pose for a pic like this... AND share it thinking it's normal...

 

[jhug]

When you feel a strange pride in having the part of your cadaver that you spend a good amount of time dissecting out tagged for the practical.

 

[DOtobe]

Originally posted by monchiormeno
*You take forever explaining to people how long you'll be in school for.

I love this one too. It's like a mantra: "four years of college, four years of med school, then residency..." To which everyone always replies, "wow, I could never do that."

 

[jhug]

how about....the first time you hear about a movie it is out on video

 

[H0mersimps0n]

wow, wierd this post popped up, I just made a new away message on friday with the following:

You just might be in medical school if...
1.) you get excited about the weekend because you can get the most studying done...

2.) Gunners aren't just people who own firearms

3.) your PIMPer has a Ph.D.

4.) you wake up and find your alarm clock brused...

5.) sleep is just another 5-letter word in the dictionary

6.) Time is money and money is sparse..

7.) you wonder if those dents on your head will ever go away after having it kicked in so many times

8.) god is no longer a higher being but now you are on a first name basis with him (her?)...

9.) is that cancer? Does that look like cancer to you? OH GOD IT LOOKS LIKE CANCER

10.) you can look at your 6-figure monthly loan statement and feel all warm and fuzzy inside...

 

[kristenE]

getting up at 4 AM on exam day to cram doesn't bother you!!!

 

[annushka]

Hey , Im just waiting for the " you know you are in DO school" list!

 

[H0mersimps0n]

Kristen, it was 5am this morning and I definitely did not enjoy it..

I'm at DO school so my list is applicable, some of the older LECOMers have a T-shirt I've seen that is absolutely hilarous and is more osteopathically oriented... Someone care to post?

 

[DOtobe]

There is a "Med School Nerd Quiz" thread on this forum that has some DO-applicable questions. And I made up a few "you know you're a DO nerd" questions of my own.

I kick myself for not buying one of those shirts at LECOM... They are really funny though!

 

[Dr_sax]

What was I doing at 4AM...oh yeah, SLEEPING!!! PBL


My personal pet peeves:
1) Unsolicited medical advice. I'm an M1- I barely know my name.
2) Like someone else said, no one knows the medical school/education process. I must have explained it to 20 people in my family. I wrote something up, printed it out and gave it to my parents with the instruction that it's to be dispersed whenever questions arise.
3) The immediate condescension when you tell someone you're in med school. What? Am I supposed to apologize for not going to cosmetology school???

The obviously jovial Dr_sax

 

[kristenE]

Dr. Sax,

Hey, cosmotology is nothing to balk at. If my lucrative career in medicine does not pan out (what, with the malpractice and all), I'm either pulling a Martha Stewart or more likely, doing french pedicures on Muffy, Dr. X's pretentious wife who forgets that she used to do the same!!! Maybe I'll get smart and open an Endocrinology/Cosmetology practice. At least then I can pay off my student loans!!!!!

KE (the very tired), future DO

 

[Dr_sax]

I can see the ad now K:

"Get your hair done and have your blood glucose measured all in one stop."

The older folks will love you. You are such an innovator.


Livin' in Sax-o-topia

 

[DOtobe]

Wow, LECOM is making you two really wacky...

 

[Dr_sax]

Well, Spirituality and Medicine does that to ya.

 

[DOtobe]

You know, you must say "dead" or "died" at least three times.

(Do you have that bald guy teaching you that we did?)

 

[Dr_sax]

I don't know who teaches it - after day one it was a blur.
I do know that one guy introduced a "study" in which it was supposedly demonstrated that prayer helped in curing the sick. In a blind study, people were asked to pray for someone and the people that were prayed for got better. However, it was funny to notice that there weren't any similar studies done to disprove the hypothesis. For instance, if say two people prayed for you and three prayed against you, wouldn't you indeed get worse if the research is correct? I failed to mention that question in class though,

oh and for the OP

1) So you're going to medical school, huh? So, what, you're going to be a doctor or something?

Ans: Yes, or something.

 

[njdo]

You know you go to LECOM if...

10. Your favorite OMM technique is the ischial tuberosity spread.
9. The title of your favorite book is either "High-Yield" or "Ridiculously Simple."
8. One of the most important articles in your medical bag is an ice scraper.
7. You need a hall pass to go to the bathroom.
6. OPP is not just the title of a song anymore.
5. Your pathology text is written by G.R.I.P.E.
4. Gunners are not just in the military.
3. The only time you pay attention in class is when you hear the letters T.Q.
2. Your OMM professor has a disco floor at home.
1. This shirt is banned!

Sorry, these aren't universal, but for those at LECOM, they're pretty funny. Still haven't figured out which OMM professor has a disco floor at home. My guess is either Hampton or Evans.

njdo

 

[DOtobe]

Haven't figured out the disco floor one either.

I was also thinking maybe Hendryx.

I'd love to see Yoda disco!!!

(but then again, on second thought )

 

[kristenE]

What is it with the LECOM OMM profs and those damn cowboy neck things??? I've seen at least 2 of them sport one on different, uncoordinated occasions and it was not Halloween or the day that Johnny Cash died. Those weighted tassles could put an eye out !!!

 

[DOtobe]

Yeah, LECOM is the first place I've seen people wear those! (other than country western bars and the like)

 

[monchiormeno]

I'm glad everyone is enjoying this post as much as I did. Keep posting more quotes. Even if they are not "universal". Quotes that only apply to your school are still funny.

Come on! Keep them coming! I guess LECOMers are about to start their own post.......we gotta keep up! Where are the NYCOMers, PCOMers, KCOMers and other COMers?

 

[MI48104doc]

you could be the most educated person in the room but your name is still "honey" because of your short white coat!

 

[isomerjohn]

The PCOM clan is trilled to be here. We have so many outlets provided to us it is hard to keepup with them. Anyone else who attends will tell you "WE ARE FAMILY". But share all of you lists as well (lol)

 

[DOtobe]

Originally posted by MI48104doc
you could be the most educated person in the room but your name is still "honey" because of your short white coat!

In that same vein...

When you are a female and you say you are a medical student, the patient replies, "Oh, so you're going to be a nurse?" or "You're going to be a physicians' assistant then?"

 

[drchris33]

These are great!! Keep them coming......

1. You can go to the anatomy lab, and go out to eat without changing your clothes.

2. You talk about where you want to go eat after you are done "running the bowel"

3. ER begins to make sense

4. Scrubs becomes even funnier

5. You tell your family/spouse a joke that you thought was hilarious and they just look at you with that "and you're going to be a doctor" look

6. Going out to eat and flipping thru drug flash cards is normal to you

7. Getting a B is actually pretty darn good

8. Only studying three hours in one day and you are still behind (as opposed to undergrad when you did that in one week)

9. Wearing scrub pants, a T-shirt and a backwards baseball cap is normal attire when going to Wal-Mart

10. You begin to find obscure skin conditions on the women in late night TV shows (basically analyzing them rather than enjoying the movie)

 

[DOtobe]

Another one:

You think you have every disease that you learn about in class.

 

[drchris33]

I hear that.....I was for sure my kids had Aspergillosis, Renal Cell Carcinoma, etc, etc. However, after our Mind, Body, Spirit section, I was like one symptom away from having five different disorders (like OCD, Avoidant disorder, etc)

Wow

 

[divinemsm]

...you suddenly notice how prominent the sternocleidomastoid is on so MANY people......( maybe that's just me, though )

 

[aphistis]

Nope, that's me too. The SCM is a major anatomical boundary for us (I dunno if you guys worry about the cervical triangles or not), and now whenever I see someone on TV, I always catch myself noticing how prominent both heads are, and wondering how I never noticed that before. Ditto the external jugular, though that's harder to spot unless they're stretching their neck out for some reason

 

[medic0129]

You start to look at people's arms and only notice where the "good veins" are to start peripheral IVs, OR when someone is talking to you, you try to figure out their Malampati score for intubation.....

 

[BrooklynDO]

How about when over dinner a civilian says something they think is smart and scientific... and you have to stifle the lecture that you are about to give them on the subject?

 

[DirtyNetter]

You ask someone, "what are you on right now?", they reply "pediatrics", and neither of you think that it was a weird question to ask.

 

[tumartin10]

You have conversations like "I have something awesome to tell you...its about the clavicle"