How do I stop my top university fantasy from giving me depression at times?

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ThePardoner

ThePardoner

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So I went to a high school which didn't have much. Not many AP classes, SAT score was somewhere in the 1300s (average, for math + reading + writing), no sports, and really I lacked a backbone. Parents were not that supportive of my education goals. Overall, as many excuses as I can bother to list, I won't list them, I will simply take 100 percent responsibility for my mistakes.

In college I was not passionate about being a pre-med but my family did make a push to get me into it. 3 semesters later I am sitting at a 2.7 GPA. Failed organic chemistry with a D which depressed me to no ends.

Now with the winter break coming around, I have had time to learn some discipline. Told myself I was going to finish War and Peace in 7 days, just have about 200 more pages to read for today and I am done.

Sometimes the problem is I zone out. I grow into a victim mentality that I was literally screwed over in life. Unstable childhood, learning English late in life, not having a fair chance or even going to a half way decent high school, and having restrictive parents who barely let me do anything to build my resume.

I say its a fantasy because I know there is no humanly possible way I will ever get to attend Harvard, Columbia, Yale, Stanford, Duke, UC Berkeley, U of M Ann Arbour, or a school like Brown for graduate school or ever in my life for anything.

Thing is some of my childhood friends who went to private high schools are at such universities having the time of their life, they tell me this. Me? I am sitting at a college 5 minutes from my house and it hurts me at times thinking how much of an opportunity I never really had to get to a top school.

I am not saying I won't ever rise to the top but just I will never have that experience in life of going to an elite university or seeing how it is like being at one. I would like to get over this depression which frustrates me at times but how?
 
Just make the best of wherever you are. Join clubs, meet new people, START new clubs if that's something you want, do whatever it takes. Most of all, bring your GPA up; no need to feel pity for yourself, start getting motivated and aim for a 4.0 this next semester.
 
ThePardoner said:
So I went to a high school which didn't have much. Not many AP classes, SAT score was somewhere in the 1300s (average, for math + reading + writing), no sports, and really I lacked a backbone. Parents were not that supportive of my education goals. Overall, as many excuses as I can bother to list, I won't list them, I will simply take 100 percent responsibility for my mistakes.

In college I was not passionate about being a pre-med but my family did make a push to get me into it. 3 semesters later I am sitting at a 2.7 GPA. Failed organic chemistry with a D which depressed me to no ends.

Now with the winter break coming around, I have had time to learn some discipline. Told myself I was going to finish War and Peace in 7 days, just have about 200 more pages to read for today and I am done.

Sometimes the problem is I zone out. I grow into a victim mentality that I was literally screwed over in life. Unstable childhood, learning English late in life, not having a fair chance or even going to a half way decent high school, and having restrictive parents who barely let me do anything to build my resume.

I say its a fantasy because I know there is no humanly possible way I will ever get to attend Harvard, Columbia, Yale, Stanford, Duke, UC Berkeley, U of M Ann Arbour, or a school like Brown for graduate school or ever in my life for anything.

Thing is some of my childhood friends who went to private high schools are at such universities having the time of their life, they tell me this. Me? I am sitting at a college 5 minutes from my house and it hurts me at times thinking how much of an opportunity I never really had to get to a top school.

I am not saying I won't ever rise to the top but just I will never have that experience in life of going to an elite university or seeing how it is like being at one. I would like to get over this depression which frustrates me at times but how?
Click to expand...

:lock:
 
ThePardoner said:
Thing is some of my childhood friends who went to private high schools are at such universities having the time of their life, they tell me this. Me? I am sitting at a college 5 minutes from my house and it hurts me at times thinking how much of an opportunity I never really had to get to a top school.
Click to expand...

The grass is always greener on the other side
 
Stumpyman said:
Just make the best of wherever you are. Join clubs, meet new people, START new clubs if that's something you want, do whatever it takes. Most of all, bring your GPA up; no need to feel pity for yourself, start getting motivated and aim for a 4.0 this next semester.
Click to expand...

don't think I am going to be more motivated than I am right now...

I do plan on transferring to a bigger state school though, not for prestige but for the experience of going away for college
 
Get away from your parents. If you're being honest, then they're bringing you down. As long as you're over 18, without parental assistance, you're very likely to get financial assistance. 'Nuff said. Oh, get your grades up too. 🙂
 
ThePardoner said:
So I ... take 100 percent responsibility for my mistakes.

I am not saying I won't ever rise to the top but just I will never have that experience in life of going to an elite university or seeing how it is like being at one
Click to expand...

You seem to have taken responsibility for your past. Don't get caught up in what could have been because anyone can do that, just like a lot of people can complain about their pasts. Just go with the attitude that seems to be coming out in the last part of your post, and rise to the top, however you may define that for yourself.

 
ialwayslose said:
You seem to have taken responsibility for your past. Don't get caught up in what could have been because anyone can do that, just like a lot of people can complain about their pasts. Just go with the attitude that seems to be coming out in the last part of your post, and rise to the top, however you may define that for yourself.

Click to expand...

top for me would be spending a year at an ivy or a top level university, but that won't happen, changing standards soon
 
Purely anecdotal, but I assist a doctor who went to UC Denver for medical school, LSU New Orleans for residency, and last week he was accepted to a fellowship at Harvard. All I'm saying is you can grab some Ivy someday if that's what you really want. It's never too late to be at the top of your class. Your GPA doesn't have to be anything more than a speedbump.

If you think your pond is too small, be the big fish and prove it.
 
scarshapedstar said:
Purely anecdotal, but I assist a doctor who went to UC Denver for medical school, LSU New Orleans for residency, and last week he was accepted to a fellowship at Harvard. All I'm saying is you can grab some Ivy someday if that's what you really want. It's never too late to be at the top of your class. Your GPA doesn't have to be anything more than a speedbump.

If you think your pond is too small, be the big fish and prove it.
Click to expand...

Depending on his specialty, this could be a step down
 
ThePardoner said:
So I went to a high school which didn't have much. Not many AP classes, SAT score was somewhere in the 1300s (average, for math + reading + writing), no sports, and really I lacked a backbone. Parents were not that supportive of my education goals. Overall, as many excuses as I can bother to list, I won't list them, I will simply take 100 percent responsibility for my mistakes.

In college I was not passionate about being a pre-med but my family did make a push to get me into it. 3 semesters later I am sitting at a 2.7 GPA. Failed organic chemistry with a D which depressed me to no ends.

Now with the winter break coming around, I have had time to learn some discipline. Told myself I was going to finish War and Peace in 7 days, just have about 200 more pages to read for today and I am done.

Sometimes the problem is I zone out. I grow into a victim mentality that I was literally screwed over in life. Unstable childhood, learning English late in life, not having a fair chance or even going to a half way decent high school, and having restrictive parents who barely let me do anything to build my resume.

I say its a fantasy because I know there is no humanly possible way I will ever get to attend Harvard, Columbia, Yale, Stanford, Duke, UC Berkeley, U of M Ann Arbour, or a school like Brown for graduate school or ever in my life for anything.

Thing is some of my childhood friends who went to private high schools are at such universities having the time of their life, they tell me this. Me? I am sitting at a college 5 minutes from my house and it hurts me at times thinking how much of an opportunity I never really had to get to a top school.

I am not saying I won't ever rise to the top but just I will never have that experience in life of going to an elite university or seeing how it is like being at one. I would like to get over this depression which frustrates me at times but how?
Click to expand...

You need to find your own path. Your parents have no business dictating your life. If you don't want to be pre-med, don't do it. In the end, it's you that has to sacrifice a decade to become a doctor.

Some time off from school wouldn't be such a bad idea, either. It might help give you some perspective. Most come back a much stronger student the second time.
 
Get involved in campus life, consider seeing a counselor, and focus on your immediate challenges--improving your GPA and scoring well on the MCAT--instead of imagined challenges.
 
This sounds exactly like Protagonist, down to the T. Complaining about not being at a top university, his friends are supposedly having time of their life at ivys, parents forced him to be pre-med when he'd rather do something else( from what I can recall,econ?), living at home, going to school near home, etc. Every detail is the same.

thesauce said:
You need to find your own path. Your parents have no business dictating your life. If you don't want to be pre-med, don't do it. In the end, it's you that has to sacrifice a decade to become a doctor.
Click to expand...
Patchy said:
A more admissions-obsessed high school does not necessarily have better education during high school.

The students at community and party/state colleges should be excellent classmates. You might like them more than the students at elite universities. They are like ordinary and nice people who happen to take courses. It seems like most of them do not expect anything they do, other than completion of the courses, to add to their curriculum vitae or to their application to anything. That can be very refreshing.

Your GPA is the only problem. I suggest you focus on your GPA.
Click to expand...
Basically. Stop your self defeatist attitude.
 
Patchy said:
A more admissions-obsessed high school does not necessarily have better education during high school (or after).

I believe that there is a trade-off between the obsession with admissions and the emphasis on quality of education.

AP exams are not special. I do not agree with using them to measure the quality of a high school. I believe they are the cheapest way to eliminate general education requirements. I believe they are the worst in other respects.

The admissions process for the elite universities is not a tournament of intellect. If you believe that going there will make you surrounded by brilliant people, then you could be disappointed.
I believe you are better off without the elite universities.

The students at community and party/state colleges should be excellent classmates. You might like them more than the students at elite universities. They are like ordinary and nice people who happen to take courses. It seems like most of them do not expect anything they do, other than completion of the courses, to add to their curriculum vitae or to their application to anything. That can be very refreshing. That might fit your idea of how things ought to be in school.

You might not like living in dorms.

Your GPA is the only problem. I suggest you focus on your GPA.
Click to expand...

how so?
 
This sounds exactly like Protagonist, down to the T. Complaining about not being at a top university, his friends are supposedly having time of their life at ivys, parents forced him to be pre-med when he'd rather do something else( from what I can recall,econ?), living at home, going to school near home, etc. Every detail is the same.
Click to expand...

Thank you. That's exactly what I was thinking. He must have a new user name.
 
ThePardoner said:
So I went to a high school which didn't have much. Not many AP classes, SAT score was somewhere in the 1300s (average, for math + reading + writing), no sports, and really I lacked a backbone. Parents were not that supportive of my education goals. Overall, as many excuses as I can bother to list, I won't list them, I will simply take 100 percent responsibility for my mistakes.

In college I was not passionate about being a pre-med but my family did make a push to get me into it. 3 semesters later I am sitting at a 2.7 GPA. Failed organic chemistry with a D which depressed me to no ends.

Now with the winter break coming around, I have had time to learn some discipline. Told myself I was going to finish War and Peace in 7 days, just have about 200 more pages to read for today and I am done.

Sometimes the problem is I zone out. I grow into a victim mentality that I was literally screwed over in life. Unstable childhood, learning English late in life, not having a fair chance or even going to a half way decent high school, and having restrictive parents who barely let me do anything to build my resume.

I say its a fantasy because I know there is no humanly possible way I will ever get to attend Harvard, Columbia, Yale, Stanford, Duke, UC Berkeley, U of M Ann Arbour, or a school like Brown for graduate school or ever in my life for anything.

Thing is some of my childhood friends who went to private high schools are at such universities having the time of their life, they tell me this. Me? I am sitting at a college 5 minutes from my house and it hurts me at times thinking how much of an opportunity I never really had to get to a top school.

I am not saying I won't ever rise to the top but just I will never have that experience in life of going to an elite university or seeing how it is like being at one. I would like to get over this depression which frustrates me at times but how?
Click to expand...

Self-effacing isn't a laudable quality.
 
New username, same story. You gotta at least try to change it up a touch to keep from being completely obvious.
 
Last edited:
Happiness doesn't come from having what you want, rather it comes from wanting what you have. -yoko Ono
 
NickNaylor said:
Indeed, even the use of bolding and underlining "key" phrases wasn't changed.
Click to expand...
Wow, you're right, I didn't even notice that.

I love how after several big, dramatic claims that he is done with this forum, he comes back, gets banned on his other username, and comes back again on a new one and posts on SDN despite "not even being interested in being a doctor anymore". AND, with the exact same story.
 
lets do everything but help the person out
 
well guess accusations are going to keep getting thrown around by a small group of members rather than advice SOOOOOOOOOOO, I hate how forums are like high school, a small bit of kids have more of a words than others and since they are the favorites, they accuse anyone they want of anything and simply don't have a thing to worry about

gonna have to try to find help on this topic elsewhere, to the minority that helped, thanks, but I really do need help on this very topic alone
 
Last edited:
ThePardoner said:
Change of mind, not pre-med but plan on going into health related and science related fields. But I need help with the topic at hand. Got any tips? Advice?
Click to expand...

In case you didn't read the other posts:

Tip #1

Stumpyman said:
Just make the best of wherever you are. Join clubs, meet new people, START new clubs if that's something you want, do whatever it takes. Most of all, bring your GPA up; no need to feel pity for yourself, start getting motivated and aim for a 4.0 this next semester.
Click to expand...

Tip #2

dr zaius said:
Maybe you should work harder?
Click to expand...

Tip #3

NeuralNetwork said:
The grass is always greener on the other side
Click to expand...

Tip #4

poppie910 said:
Get away from your parents. If you're being honest, then they're bringing you down. As long as you're over 18, without parental assistance, you're very likely to get financial assistance. 'Nuff said. Oh, get your grades up too. 🙂
Click to expand...

Tip #5

thesauce said:
You need to find your own path. Your parents have no business dictating your life. If you don't want to be pre-med, don't do it. In the end, it's you that has to sacrifice a decade to become a doctor.

Some time off from school wouldn't be such a bad idea, either. It might help give you some perspective. Most come back a much stronger student the second time.
Click to expand...

Tip #6

Patchy said:
Your GPA is the only problem. I suggest you focus on your GPA.
Click to expand...

Tip #7

varsityblue said:
Get involved in campus life, consider seeing a counselor, and focus on your immediate challenges--improving your GPA and scoring well on the MCAT--instead of imagined challenges.
Click to expand...

Tip #8

RavishingB said:
Basically. Stop your self defeatist attitude.
Click to expand...

Sound like a plan??
 
I read those twice actually but here is the issue. I am doing all that. I have broken from parts, we sat down, and they said I can major in whatever I want. There is a plan in place to get me out of the house soon and things are looking up.

Here is where they go down, I can't let go of the past and when I workout or just walk around or even read, it just GETS to me, get what I am saying?
 
OP, you should run a search for threads by a fellow named "Boxinmoxin", I believe that he had very similar concerns and problems that you have. In fact, I'd go as far as to say they were almost exactly the same. Perhaps you should read one of the countless number of threads that he started and the several hundreds of responses that he garnered for some insight into your "problems". I am sure, just as his problems are very similar to yours, the advice that he solicited is also very applicable to you.

Just a tip.
 
so there is this forum

then college confidential

any other forums like them?
 
easy to bully the guy who has had it rough his whole life while most of you actually had an opportunity to either do things yourselves or had parents who knew what they were doing........

keep it classy, keep it classy
 
UnclePhil said:
OP, you should run a search for threads by a fellow named "Boxinmoxin", I believe that he had very similar concerns and problems that you have. In fact, I'd go as far as to say they were almost exactly the same. Perhaps you should read one of the countless number of threads that he started and the several hundreds of responses that he garnered for some insight into your "problems". I am sure, just as his problems are very similar to yours, the advice that he solicited is also very applicable to you.

Just a tip.
Click to expand...
😆
 
know what

just time to focus on the next semester, will never be rich, will never make a good amount of money, but time to look forward to living life on food stamps and such,

maybe in the next lifetime I may get to go to an elite university

thanks to all who helped

bye

time to just do something, actually something, to make this situation better
tumblr_l9imfpE0jz1qajasao1_400.gif


GOOD NIGHT SWEET PRINCE!
 
ThePardoner said:
know what

just time to focus on the next semester, will never be rich, will never make a good amount of money, but time to look forward to living life on food stamps and such,

maybe in the next lifetime I may get to go to an elite university

thanks to all who helped

bye

time to just do something, actually something, to make this situation better
tumblr_l9imfpE0jz1qajasao1_400.gif


GOOD NIGHT SWEET PRINCE!
Click to expand...

Your problem is that you're wallowing in self-pity and completely ignoring the legitimate advice/suggestions people are giving. You're so bothersome that most people that MIGHT want to help you don't.
 
if you think you can help me but do not want to on the forums, please message me, I am open to all email and am VERY RECEPTIVE to suggestions

one guy messaged me to go kill myself, I told him I would consider it
 
ThePardoner said:
if you think you can help me but do not want to on the forums, please message me, I am open to all email and am VERY RECEPTIVE to suggestions

one guy messaged me to go kill myself, I told him I would consider it
Click to expand...
Dude, seriously... get PROFESSIONAL help. People have been telling you this forever. And yet, several months, multiple threads and two usernames later, you STILL ignore this advice.
 
For some reason, I have a hunch that the third time will not be the proverbial "charm" for this guy...
 
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