warning: ridiculously stupid question

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qualityhealth

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Ok, we’re all premeds, and we’ll all be swamped with a huge debt by the time anyone gets to call us “Doctor”. I was talking to my girlfriend today, and when I told her how much I’m taking out in loans, she pretty much flipped. I’m conscious of that, but I wasn't nearly as frantic as she was. Last year I took out 16,000 bucks (state university) , and this year 7, and I’m guessing the last three years (I’m staying a 5th year) would entail taking out about 8-10 thousand yearly. And then, I’d be going to a state medical school (hopefully, Texas) and will once again will HAVE TO resort to loans. She told me that doctors won’t make much $$ bc of the malpractice insurance…I’m scared out of my mind now… it’s not that I need to live in a mansion in the future, but I’m scared my loans will take over my life. And to top it all off…I’m thinking( seriously) about getting laser surgery (for my acne scars, and holes) which will cost about 4,000. Again, this 4,000 bucks is money I don’t have, and will have to resort to getting a loan. (I know it’s pathetic to have to pay that much, when you don’t even have the money for it and get a loan…but its just that the scars make me very self-conscious) THE QUESTION I’M ASKING IS, SHOULD I GET THE SURGERY DONE, even if it means putting me more in debt??? OR should I take it like a man, and wait 4 years, without this procedure, and have it go away naturally?And to top all that off, she told me I shouldn’t go into medicine (even though I can’t imagine myself being anything else, and truly love the field (I’ve shadowed docs, & I love it!)) because I have bipolar, and won’t be able to take on the courseload since it would bring too much stress and I’d go insane. I didn’t let that get to me, because I KNOW one day I’ll be a doc, but I guess she scared me today. I’m done, congrats on getting this far. And I’m sorry for babbling over something so ridiculous, but I just don’t know what to do now.

Peace.
 
Holy crap that was all over the map.

First off, don't worry too much about the debt. We're all gonna go through it, and we're all gonna be able to pay it off, eventually.

Second, I'm not sure how bad your scar situation is, but if your girlfriend knows about it and doesn't care, I don't see why you should care! For me, I would care how much my girlfriend cares more than myself. If she was uncomfortable with it, obviously I would be too. But if she didn't care, she's the one givin the coochie coochie, ya dig? Wait it out.
 
you already have a gf... what do you need to look good for? surgery is a waste of money for someone in your situation.
 
They recently put a cap on non-economic damages in Texas, so actually it's one of the better places to practice medicine now. I think the malpractice premiums dropped recently because of it.
 
ilovehedgehogs said:
Maybe you need a more supportive girlfriend.
Click to expand...

Yep. Get the procedure done and get a better girlfriend.










































I kid, I kid. I don't know enough about your relationship to say anything to that effect.
 
I don't want to continue the girlfriend bashing, but at least get a pre-nup!
 
the default rate on student loans for physicians is very small (I want to say something less than 1% but I don't know the exact number). So what this means is that while doctors take out mountains of debt, somehow they are managing to pay back all their loans without much trouble. However, the less money you borrow, the less it will hurt and the more options you'll have later in life.

so . . . you already have a gf now, why do the surgery? Wait till y'all break up then get it!
 
What's an extra $4000 in the grand scheme of things? Perhaps the surgery will give you more confidence and that's worth more than money. More confidence, more energy, more energy, more productive studying = less stress at med school!
 
From a girls perspective...get a new girlfriend, and do the surgery if you want to. If your gf cares about you, may be even loves you, she'll support you no matter what, not have a cow because becoming a doctor will involve creating a lot of debt. My boyfriend is like that, he's actually going to leave his job, family, everything for me, to join me wherever I go to medical school. It sounds like your completely devoted to becoming a physician, find someone who is committed to you, and realizes how important your goals are to you.

Ha, sorry, kinda went on a rant there, but this is something that matters a lot to me personally. I never thought I would find someone that supportive, but it is possible. Find that person and spend your life with them, don't settle for less.

And stop worrying about med school debt, it is all worth it in the end, if this is what you really want to do.
 
Green Pirate said:
you already have a gf... what do you need to look good for? surgery is a waste of money for someone in your situation.
Click to expand...

LOL I was asking the same question while reading the OPs post:laugh:

in all honesty, I wouldn't do the laser scar removal yet. The cost is just not worth it.
 
I would do whatever YOU want to do. If the scars make you upset then do something about it, but not because its what somebody else wants. Doing things specifically because you want to change someones opinion of you is rarely effective. I know a guy that had a cosmetic surgery to fix a skin problem and he has a girlfriend, but the thing has bugged him for a long time so he took care of it. Its what he wanted, so he did it. So I would say try and figure out why you want to get something done and act based on that. Does it matter more to you to have the scars fixed, or to save a couple grand over the long run?

thats my two cents on the topic
 
Robizzle said:
Holy crap that was all over the map.
Click to expand...

That's because...

qualityhealth said:
...because I have bipolar...
Click to expand...

Good luck to you, OP. Don't worry about the loans, but as others have said, wait on the surgery. Keep your bipolar well-controlled in school, and make sure you always have a friend (not this girlfriend, whose judgment seems a little off) who keeps tabs on how you are feeling. Get a roomate, etc.
 
nka1985 said:
From a girls perspective...get a new girlfriend, and do the surgery if you want to. If your gf cares about you, may be even loves you, she'll support you no matter what, not have a cow because becoming a doctor will involve creating a lot of debt. My boyfriend is like that, he's actually going to leave his job, family, everything for me, to join me wherever I go to medical school. It sounds like your completely devoted to becoming a physician, find someone who is committed to you, and realizes how important your goals are to you.

Ha, sorry, kinda went on a rant there, but this is something that matters a lot to me personally. I never thought I would find someone that supportive, but it is possible. Find that person and spend your life with them, don't settle for less.
Click to expand...

Whoa. I think that it's great that your boyfriend will do that, and he's certainly a keeper if he'll do it and not hold it against you later on, but the other 99% of normal relationships do not involve someone sacrificing everything in their life for the other's person's dream. Most relationships have considerable compromises, especially where career and family are concerned.

I'm not criticizing your relationship, I just get twitchy when I see these kind of posts because then everyone else starts to think that's what the norm is, which leads to all kinds of misunderstandings. It seems like every time a thread touching on relationships is started, a vast majority urges the OP to ditch the SO for not suiting his/her entire life to the OP's whims. (Again, I wanted to stress this isn't what I think you said, but a general comment on a hundred other threads.)

To bring this back to the actual OP, it sounds like she's just a little nervous because that is a large amount of money and she doesn't understand it's fairly typical for doctors-in-training in the last decade. That doesn't make her a bad person. If you value the relationship that you're in you may want to take some time to explain why you think it's a good idea and why it's not as risky as it initially sounds. As for the laser surgery, if you think it's something that will make you $4k worth of confident (I'm guessing the scarring must be fairly severe for a guy to consider a cosmetic procedure), it may be a great idea; don't do it for her. The effectiveness might vary with skin age, so you may want to ask a couple of questions to see if it will be more expensive if you wait longer.
 
Do not base your career or personal medical decisions on your girlfriend's opinions. She just isn't informed. Do not let naysayers hold you back. You indicated that you will have 16+7+30 = 53k dollars in loans by the time you graduate. Add onto that 4k for the surgery, and it brings you up to 57k. The difference between 57 and 53 is negligible compared to what your payments will be after med school loans (4k will be somewhere around $45.00/month difference over 10 years I think). Sureley you can spare 50 bucks a month as a physician, particularly if it was for something very important to you. Considering that even a low paying 125k general practice salary will net you around $7,000.00 a month, I wouldn't sweat it. 😉

If it makes you feel any better, I am starting med school in August with 55k in previous school debt. And I will be attending a pretty expensive OOS school. It will work out. Take one step at a time and don't worry about being able to pay back your med school loans (you will be able to). Focus first on just getting in, worry about that other stuff later.
 
Graduated undergrad with 0 debt. Not even 1 year in and am now in debt >$100k (if you include a mortgage) and >$50k in just student loans. $4k is a drop in the bucket.
 
pagemmapants said:
Graduated undergrad with 0 debt. Not even 1 year in and am now in debt >$100k (if you include a mortgage) and >$50k in just student loans. $4k is a drop in the bucket.
Click to expand...

:laugh: including a mortgage is very misleading. Boooo 👎

Why don't I include mine too then? Now I am almost 250k in debt before even starting med school! 😱 That will put me at like half a million by the time I graduate! 🙄
 
... that no one seems to be asking the OP is:

Is your girlfriend hot?

That is the deciding factor as to whether or not to keep her around and use her for her body before kicking her to the curb, or just plain old telling her to take a hike.

Get the surgery, lose the GF.

p.s. I graduated undergrad with $0 in debt, med school costed me >$180k in debt (I was broke), but if you actually get through it all, you'll be laughing about how little that is in the grand scheme. If $4k will make you feel better about yourself, just do it.
 
Kriyaban said:
They recently put a cap on non-economic damages in Texas, so actually it's one of the better places to practice medicine now. I think the malpractice premiums dropped recently because of it.
Click to expand...

Actually the rates went up 19% in Texas after they passed the cap. But, it just shows the lengths the malpractice companies are going to line their pockets. Their greed will be their own undoing.
 
polofanPKP said:
Actually the rates went up 19% in Texas after they passed the cap. But, it just shows the lengths the malpractice companies are going to line their pockets. Their greed will be their own undoing.
Click to expand...

After the bill was passed or after the cap was imposed? Because my state did something similar, and between the bill passing and its going into effect everybody was getting sued. They all wanted to get in before the cap took effect, plus they had this thing about switching venue that could no longer be done.
 
It sure must be nice to have a supportive girlfriend.:laugh:

She sounds needy for time and money.

She sounds like she has no clue about the status of the medical field today.

She sounds like she's controlling.

Who tries to change the career of a boyfriend/girlfriend anyways?
Controlling people, that's who.


Uh, about the acne scars? I'd have to see a picture. If it'll give you more confidence and make you feel better, then do it. $4K isn't going to make or break you either way, to be honest.

Think hard about this girl's personality and why you're with her. Also think hard about the support she's going to give you if you actually do stay with her through med school.
 
That's absolutely absurd. Are you actually saying that the only reason looks are important is to be able to get laid? The way you look will dictate pretty much everything about how people treat you and how you feel about yourself. In my opinion, spending $4000 to fix your acne scars (if indeed they are severe) is a no-brainer, especially going into medicine, where your patients will judge you primarily on the way you look.

And of course, OP, lose the GF now. You're not even married and she's already nagging you to death and undermining your confidence.

Robizzle said:
Holy crap that was all over the map.

First off, don't worry too much about the debt. We're all gonna go through it, and we're all gonna be able to pay it off, eventually.

Second, I'm not sure how bad your scar situation is, but if your girlfriend knows about it and doesn't care, I don't see why you should care! For me, I would care how much my girlfriend cares more than myself. If she was uncomfortable with it, obviously I would be too. But if she didn't care, she's the one givin the coochie coochie, ya dig? Wait it out.
Click to expand...
 
Hmmm...I find when I'm in a pickle it helps to kick back, relax, and listen to some music....I'd recommend a little Kanye West Goldigger 🙄
 
qualityhealth said:
Ok, we’re all premeds, and we’ll all be swamped with a huge debt by the time anyone gets to call us “Doctor”. I was talking to my girlfriend today, and when I told her how much I’m taking out in loans, she pretty much flipped. I’m conscious of that, but I wasn't nearly as frantic as she was. Last year I took out 16,000 bucks (state university) , and this year 7, and I’m guessing the last three years (I’m staying a 5th year) would entail taking out about 8-10 thousand yearly. And then, I’d be going to a state medical school (hopefully, Texas) and will once again will HAVE TO resort to loans. She told me that doctors won’t make much $$ bc of the malpractice insurance…I’m scared out of my mind now… it’s not that I need to live in a mansion in the future, but I’m scared my loans will take over my life. And to top it all off…I’m thinking( seriously) about getting laser surgery (for my acne scars, and holes) which will cost about 4,000. Again, this 4,000 bucks is money I don’t have, and will have to resort to getting a loan. (I know it’s pathetic to have to pay that much, when you don’t even have the money for it and get a loan…but its just that the scars make me very self-conscious) THE QUESTION I’M ASKING IS, SHOULD I GET THE SURGERY DONE, even if it means putting me more in debt??? OR should I take it like a man, and wait 4 years, without this procedure, and have it go away naturally?And to top all that off, she told me I shouldn’t go into medicine (even though I can’t imagine myself being anything else, and truly love the field (I’ve shadowed docs, & I love it!)) because I have bipolar, and won’t be able to take on the courseload since it would bring too much stress and I’d go insane. I didn’t let that get to me, because I KNOW one day I’ll be a doc, but I guess she scared me today. I’m done, congrats on getting this far. And I’m sorry for babbling over something so ridiculous, but I just don’t know what to do now.

Peace.
Click to expand...

Sounds like your gf isn't being very supportive here. Not cool. If you know you want to do something, you shouldn't have the person closest to you (aside from maybe family) discouraging you. I'd talk to her about that...

...And if you're gonna be 200k or more in debt after med school, another 4 grand is peanuts. Just make sure you land that cardiac/neural surgery residency, and you'll be set 🙂. No, but seriously, 4k is not much more...
 
Personally, I think if its a problem that will naturally solve itself (ie acne scarring) then it is definately not worth spending money on. Also always consider the interest accumulations when talking about loans. $4000 private loans can look a lot different by the time you can afford to pay it off (esp. since you already have school loans). Take it like a man and accept and love the way you look, just as you are. Its a curiously free-ing and invigorating experience.

👍

As for the gf, give her some time to digest your financial situarion. I think I flipped when I first talked to a resident with 200k+ in debt. But I have come to embrace it as an inevitable truth. So, once again, take it like a man and accept the situation. Its a curiously free-ing and invigorating experience.








Another option: Pop in the 2pac Greatest Hits album, blast "Troublesome '96" and drive down Main Street with your middle finger out the window. Its a curiously free-ing and invigorating experience. (hahah just kidding)
 
Don't let her get to you...i work with a doctor who is also bipolar..he's a wonderful/caring doctor...just like you will be🙂
 
get the laser surgery. it sounds as if it will raise your self-esteem. Do it.

With respect to your girlfriend, just explain to her everything. She sounds uninformed.
 
dannylee718 said:
Personally, I think if its a problem that will naturally solve itself (ie acne scarring)
Click to expand...

Naturally solve itself? You're obviously not someone with cystic acne that scarred. I know more than a couple middle-aged women who deeply wish they could go back in time and force their 13-year-old self to take Accutane. For that matter, my aunt was lucky enough to escape cystic acne, scarred regardless on her chin and forehead, and is self-conscious about them to the point that she prefers obvious makeup (yes, pancake-y) to obvious scars. They were shallow but stuck around pretty noticeably in the 40 years she's had them.

If the OP is unfortunate enough to have something like that, I'd invest in the $4000 and consider it a marginal expense against future returns.
 
epigastric said:
Naturally solve itself? You're obviously not someone with cystic acne that scarred.
Click to expand...

No, but he did just repeat what the OP stated...

qualityhealth said:
OR should I take it like a man, and wait 4 years, without this procedure, and have it go away naturally?
Click to expand...

holycow said:
Don't let her get to you...i work with a doctor who is also bipolar..he's a wonderful/caring doctor...just like you will be🙂
Click to expand...


And I've seen people present in a manic episode, no sleep for weeks. Their speech resembles the OP's. I've also interviewed people in deep depression. My point is, he needs to stay on top of his symptoms and treatment. Not saying it can't be done, but it is a serious condition.
 
The bipolar disorder will def. be aggitated by medical school but you should be okay as long as you are willing to go to counseling throughout school. As for the laser surgery - why not just go to ta dermatologist and get some topical cream for the $20 copay that will help out alot for 1/100 of the price?
 
Thanks for all the comments, I truly sincerely appreciate it. If you’re curious, I dumped the girl about 3 hours ago. (for the guys, yes, she was hot, I’d give her an 8/10) turns out she’s a total smut and was cheating on me all along. I would’ve kept her, but I’m sure she’s STD-infested by now. She begged/pleaded/cried/whined that I take her back…truth is she’s a total goldigger and is only after me for the $$$ I’ll one day make.


Also, I think I’m going to definitely get the procedure done. I wish I could put on a cream and have it all go away, but I’ve been going through it for the past 6 years, and has shown no improvement..and the scars are pretty deep and hyperpigmented ( I’m half black/white and the scars are always redish/purplish on my skin)..and can only be fixed by surgery as my dermatoligist has said. I honestly know this will boost my self esteem way up high. (holy crap, I sound like a total chick, dammnit.)it’s true what’s an extra 4K in the grand scheme of things, if it’ll truly truly be beneficial for my wellbeing right??If I didn’t obsess over this issue I’d be a lot more damn focused in my studies and do a hellava lot better in my classes (though I’m still managing to get Bs and low As) but this still isn’t good enough for ME…when I know I can do a lot better.

About the bipolar..yes, I finally finally have it under control ( it took 4 years, but still I’m glad). Of course I’m still worried how it’ll affect me when I’m in med school,but I’m willing to work through and prepare my self for everything. I'm definitely going to take this advice to heart:

"Another option: Pop in the 2pac Greatest Hits album, blast "Troublesome '96" and drive down Main Street with your middle finger out the window. Its a curiously free-ing and invigorating experience. "


If any one has any other questions/concerns/comments, feel free to add.

Peace.

(sorry for the long post guys)
 
I would do the following:
1) Skip the acne surgery and try a less expensive option.
2) If your grades are good enough, then stick with medicine.
3) Don't let people scare you. Whatever you decide, ask your girlfriend to be supportive. If she continues to be unsupportive, then probably end the relationshiop. Women love doctors. You'll have no problem finding someone who is supportive.
 
Schaden Freud said:
That's absolutely absurd. Are you actually saying that the only reason looks are important is to be able to get laid? The way you look will dictate pretty much everything about how people treat you and how you feel about yourself. In my opinion, spending $4000 to fix your acne scars (if indeed they are severe) is a no-brainer, especially going into medicine, where your patients will judge you primarily on the way you look.

And of course, OP, lose the GF now. You're not even married and she's already nagging you to death and undermining your confidence.
Click to expand...

I dunno about you, but it seems to me that most doctors didn't exactly fall out of the attractive tree and hit all the brances on the way down... I would probably trust some nerdy looking male doctor more than a beautiful female one without knowing anything else about them besides how they look.
 
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