the greatest dilemma of my life

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sanrevelle

sanrevelle

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this post might get a bit long, so please bear with me here.

i graduated from college 4 years ago. then i basically spent the last 4 years finishing up prereqs and working and volunteering at pharmacies for my pharmacy school application. i got in, and here i am now, a P1. here's the problem (not a very original one either): i never really wanted to be a pharmacist. in short, halfway through undergrad, i panicked under familial and social pressure to pursue pharmacy as a career like the stupid, prestige-obsessed, and naive undergraduate that i was. even my post-college years were spent in much doubt, but i chugged along anyway because i spent so much of my time (and money) getting this far. now that i am finally in pharm school, my gut instinct has been right all along: i really shouldnt be here.

but turning away from this is going to have very great consequences. the first thing that will happen is that my parents will literally disown me, so i wouldn't be able to go home. second thing is, i have no freakin' money (pharm techs dont make much, as you know); im on loans right now. third thing is, it is damn hard to find any job right now, even retail (no ****, we're in a recession). i feel like i've almost literally dug my own grave right now.

if i quit, im looking at homelessness. if i stay, im looking at misery in the face for god knows how long.

you may ask, what is that you really wanted to do? well, im much more interested in herbal medicine, occupational therapy, nutrition, art. i didnt realize that i was interested in these things (except for art) until about a year ago, and at the time i felt that it was too late to turn back. what an idiot i was.

serious advice only please. though, you can berate me if you want to.
 
isnt there are bcps specialization in nutrition?

and im pretty sure you can focus on herbals after you become a pharmacist too.

honestly, if youve come this far, you mightve as well at least finish it so you have something in hand
 
sanrevelle said:
this post might get a bit long, so please bear with me here.

i graduated from college 4 years ago. then i basically spent the last 4 years finishing up prereqs and working and volunteering at pharmacies for my pharmacy school application. i got in, and here i am now, a P1. here's the problem (not a very original one either): i never really wanted to be a pharmacist. in short, halfway through undergrad, i panicked under familial and social pressure to pursue pharmacy as a career like the stupid, prestige-obsessed, and naive undergraduate that i was. even my post-college years were spent in much doubt, but i chugged along anyway because i spent so much of my time (and money) getting this far. now that i am finally in pharm school, my gut instinct has been right all along: i really shouldnt be here.

but turning away from this is going to have very great consequences. the first thing that will happen is that my parents will literally disown me, so i wouldn't be able to go home. second thing is, i have no freakin' money (pharm techs dont make much, as you know); im on loans right now. third thing is, it is damn hard to find any job right now, even retail (no ****, we're in a recession). i feel like i've almost literally dug my own grave right now.

if i quit, im looking at homelessness. if i stay, im looking at misery in the face for god knows how long.

you may ask, what is that you really wanted to do? well, im much more interested in herbal medicine, occupational therapy, nutrition, art. i didnt realize that i was interested in these things (except for art) until about a year ago, and at the time i felt that it was too late to turn back. what an idiot i was.

serious advice only please. though, you can berate me if you want to.
Click to expand...

Dude, it can't be that bad. It is not uncommon to get "cold feet". My advice: get through school and find a job you don't hate. If the consequences are as bad as you claim you really have no choice. You can't possibly be considering homelessness? Anyway I think you are selling yourself short. You just need to learn to like what you do. I mean there is no guarantee that if you change tracks now those other fields will bring you happiness. Happiness is a state of mind; learn to like what you do.

Anyway Good Luck!
 
if only whole foods had a pharmacy, what a happy camper i'd be. i'd love to just do herbals all day
 
they say part of growing up is learning to go through with your decisions. sigh. so basically i dont have any choice but stay in pschool, huh? at least, if i were logical and sane.

i hope my own story is a reminder to the younger ones that making important career decisions based on frivolous emotions and hearsay will almost always bite their asses in the future. not that this makes me feel any better.
 
sanrevelle said:
they say part of growing up is learning to go through with your decisions. sigh. so basically i dont have any choice but stay in pschool, huh? at least, if i were logical and sane.

i hope my own story is a reminder to the younger ones that making important career decisions based on frivolous emotions and hearsay will almost always bite their asses in the future. not that this makes me feel any better.
Click to expand...

Why not go to occupational therapy school? It's apparent you come from a close knit family. You need to develop your own identity, and soon. Making decisions that are right for you eventually become right for your family (I wouldn't try to explain this to them however).

Do not waste your time getting an education you have no use for.
 
but with that attitude, it's gonna be a long 4 years...cheer up, use this as your backup. once you start working you can pursue your dreams and not have to answer to your folks
 
Personally, if your family is willing to disown you because of your career choice, then I wouldnt worry about losing them. I understand, and from the sounds of it you may fall in this category, that familial customs are different among different ethnicities but this is your choice not theirs.

Also, sounds a bit like you like to be walked on, in which case I forsee that you are going to ignore the previous statement and continue to go down a path that you have no intention or desire to travel. So learn to deal with it and stop crying otherwise no one can help you.

On a brighter note, there are many aspects to pharmacy, not just counting pills or typing up orders. Find something that interests you and stick with it.
 
We have a local independent pharmacy that specializes explicitly in compounding and in nutrition. This sounds like something that would be up your alley. Herbal medicine could easily fit into that dynamic, as well.

No reason to quit your current path, just alter it to get the most out of it in the way of your interests. This would be a great time to start networking with other like-minded people in your community so that when you graduate you have a framework set up.
 
Do something you are passionate about, because you might regret it for the rest of your life if you don't. People will always try to push and pull you in many directions, but only you know what you really want.

Everything else will fall into place as long as you do that.
 
Have you considered naturopathy? Naturopathic physicians are eligible for licensure in several states.
 
Be homeless, or continue an education toward a great career that you don't find interesting. Tough call.

I'm sure there is SOME aspect of pharmacy you'd enjoy. If you've already spent 9 years on this, it's a huge waste to turn back now.
 
I'm sort of in the same boat as you. I've been working towards pharmacy for about 4 years now. I just graduated from undergrad and started working in a retail pharmacy. I really, really don't care for retail. It isn't at all how I imagined pharmacy or how I experienced pharmacy when I volunteered in a hospital setting.

Like some of the others have mentioned, there are pharmacies that are geared towards herbals. Starting an independent pharmacy of this sort seems like an ambitious undertaking but I'm sure it can be done. There are PGY2 residencies in nutrition support and that's one of the things that got me interested in pharmacy but I'm not sure its really the type of nutrition that we're both interested in.

If I can find a pharmacy situation that requires some problem-solving I think I would be okay. If you really just hate every aspect of it then maybe you should get your argument together and have a game plan for what you're going to do instead of pharmacy and have a talk with your parents. Parents don't want their kids to be miserable and I bet yours are no exception.
 
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to one of the posters up there - you're right, i am a pushover. i've had that problem since childhood, always had to struggle with it. which is why the buildup of anger and resentment toward myself for such behavior is starting to blow up, and it's at the worst time in my life to blow up.

but looking at it logically, yeah, it would be very stupid to drop out right now, even though that's what i secretly want. the only thing i can console myself with is the fact that i can work and perhaps even own an herbal/nutrition-based pharmacy one day.

beeny, i agree. my experience in retail was what really woke me up. i know that some people like/dont mind retail, but i loathe it, lol. good luck pursuing nutrition.
 
sanrevelle said:
to one of the posters up there - you're right, i am a pushover. i've had that problem since childhood, always had to struggle with it. which is why the buildup of anger and resentment toward myself for such behavior is starting to blow up, and it's at the worst time in my life to blow up.

but looking at it logically, yeah, it would be very stupid to drop out right now, even though that's what i secretly want. the only thing i can console myself with is the fact that i can work and perhaps even own an herbal/nutrition-based pharmacy one day.

beeny, i agree. my experience in retail was what really woke me up. i know that some people like/dont mind retail, but i loathe it, lol. good luck pursuing nutrition.
Click to expand...

Many people hate retail (I'm one of the many, though I currently work in retail). There are lots of other avenues to pursue as a pharmacist, especially if you can move after graduation. I've even seen a sports nutrition and vitamin company hire a pharmacist (vitaminaisle.com).
 
beeny said:
I'm sort of in the same boat as you. I've been working towards pharmacy for about 4 years now. I just graduated from undergrad and started working in a retail pharmacy. I really, really don't care for retail. It isn't at all how I imagined pharmacy or how I experienced pharmacy when I volunteered in a hospital setting.

Like you, I'm also interested in nutrition, alternative medicine, organic/local food. That sort of thing. I would say that is where my heart is more than pharmacy. I got accepted to a few pharmacy schools last year but turned them all down because I just wasn't so sure about it after working in retail. Now I'm living at home and taking a nutrition course while continuing to work as a pharmacy technician.

I'm leaning towards staying in pharmacy because I did see something I liked in the hospital and I think if I work hard and make the right friends I could avoid retail. I realize that I have a lot of other interests outside of pharmacy and that my career should be something I like but not necessarily my "passion." I also realize that people change careers throughout their life and I will probably change too.

Like some of the others have mentioned, there are pharmacies that are geared towards herbals. Starting an independent pharmacy of this sort seems like an ambitious undertaking but I'm sure it can be done. There are PGY2 residencies in nutrition support and that's one of the things that got me interested in pharmacy but I'm not sure its really the type of nutrition that we're both interested in.

I go back and forth almost daily about whether or not I should stay with pharmacy. That's why I'm taking the prerequisite courses for a master's in nutrition or PA school. I wish I had an answer for both of us! I say try to stick with it if you can see yourself in any sort of pharmacy at all. I can't see myself in retail because it is mind-numbingly repetitive and I think a lot of the education you get in pharmacy school goes right down the drain in retail. But if I can find a pharmacy situation that requires some problem-solving I think I would be okay, at least long enough to get my loans paid off! :laugh: If you really just hate every aspect of it then maybe you should get your argument together and have a game plan for what you're going to do instead of pharmacy and have a talk with your parents. Parents don't want their kids to be miserable and I bet yours are no exception.
Click to expand...

The bolded part is an important lesson, I think. I've heard so many people say things like "It's the rest of your life, why would you do something you're not passionate about, blah blah blah". Then they get to the real world. And find out their liberal arts degree might as well be toilet paper.
 
homeslice said:
The bolded part is an important lesson, I think. I've heard so many people say things like "It's the rest of your life, why would you do something you're not passionate about, blah blah blah". Then they get to the real world. And find out their liberal arts degree might as well be toilet paper.
Click to expand...

Why would you half-ass a life decision? How many decisions will impact you like a career choice? If you can choose something that you like, why not?

There is a difference between being a realist and a dreamer...
 
aboveliquidice said:
Why would you half-ass a life decision? How many decisions will impact you like a career choice? If you can choose something that you like, why not?

There is a difference between being a realist and a dreamer...
Click to expand...

I should have been more clear. Certainly your career should be something you like, at the very least. I would never advocate doing a job that makes you miserable, or even that you dislike. However, there's a big gap between liking something and being passionate about it...
 
I'm going to post this based on the assumption that you are going to continue pharmacy school because you have already invested a lot of time. You are a P1 and you probably don't know about even a tiny percentage of the opportunities that can be available to you as a pharmacist. It sounds like you've seen retail and staff pharmacist at a hospital. There are so many other things you can do! Even within a hospital environment there are tons of different types of careers and within those careers, many responsibilities that can add challenge and job satisfaction. P&T, clinical measures improvement work groups, writing order sets, the IT side of pharmacy, DUEs and cost savings, precepting, decentralized work, oncology, nutrition, peds, critical care or a combination of everything. You can work in ambulatory care in a clinic. You can work for managed care in making formulary decisions, policy decisions, prior auths (did that for a bit, I actually really liked it, very interesting). You can do nursing home visits and chart reviews. You can work in compliance either in the private sector or for the government.

The vast majority of jobs are in a staff type of position, but there are many more roles in pharmacy than you have seen. You may even be in a position to create a job for yourself.

I am not telling you to keep on or to change directions; no one here can tell you that, but don't write off the field because you hate retail. My goal was to choose a career that I didn't hate :laugh: I am lucky because I actually *love* what I do. I'm super nerdy in that I just love pharmacy. But you don't have to be like that to be happy in life. You do have to spend 40 hours a week of your life at work; you shouldn't completely dread going and hate your life because of work. However, I do think sometimes people expect work to fulfill them when that might not be realistic or even attainable for most people. There's a reason it's called "work". Good luck.


ETA: check out job sites like http://assoc.healthecareers.com/apha/pharmacist-jobs just to see what some of them are across the country.
 
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Ackj said:
Be homeless, or continue an education toward a great career that you don't find interesting. Tough call.

I'm sure there is SOME aspect of pharmacy you'd enjoy. If you've already spent 9 years on this, it's a huge waste to turn back now.
Click to expand...

This is how I think but there is also another aspect we did not touch upon and it's the debt. If the OP quits now he can walk away with less loan debt.

but yeah tough call, homelessness or the dreaded pharmacy...
 
Part of me wants to say to stick it out and just find that niche in pharmacy that you can at least tolerate. But if you are 1000% sure that you want to quit, I would drop out sooner rather than later. You might think you are poor now, but the debt is going to get exponentially worse as you go along. I would make sure that you have some plan as to how you are going to support yourself before you do make that decision, though.

I would also advise to make sure that it is pharmacy you are disillusioned with and not school, since they are two very different things. It sounds like it is pharmacy that you hate though, right?

I don't have any experience with the family side of things, so I don't know that I can offer any good advice there. Maybe you could just bring it up and see what they say. Is there any chance that they might be supportive?
 
mustang sally said:
Part of me wants to say to stick it out and just find that niche in pharmacy that you can at least tolerate. But if you are 1000% sure that you want to quit, I would drop out sooner rather than later. You might think you are poor now, but the debt is going to get exponentially worse as you go along. I would make sure that you have some plan as to how you are going to support yourself before you do make that decision, though.
Click to expand...

Oh boy am I a nerd. Debt does not follow an exponential growth curve. I have never favored using 'exponential' in an informal manor (particularly when describing other growth models); exponential growth is specifically defined.

Sorry for the post. For whatever reason using the term exponential to describe growth models that are not exponential is a pet peeve of mine. Other than that I liked your post. 👍
 
owlegrad said:
Oh boy am I a nerd. Debt does not follow an exponential growth curve. I have never favored using 'exponential' in an informal manor (particularly when describing other growth models); exponential growth is specifically defined.

Sorry for the post. For whatever reason using the term exponential to describe growth models that are not exponential is a pet peeve of mine. Other than that I liked your post. 👍
Click to expand...

Lol...I guess I didn't mean it literally. It just feels like exponential growth every time I dare to look at my loan statements.
 
quartel said:
This is how I think but there is also another aspect we did not touch upon and it's the debt. If the OP quits now he can walk away with less loan debt.

but yeah tough call, homelessness or the dreaded pharmacy...
Click to expand...
If he quits now, sure it'll be less debt, but how will it be repaid? If they graduate, at least there is a means to repay it.
 
owlegrad said:
Oh boy am I a nerd. Debt does not follow an exponential growth curve. I have never favored using 'exponential' in an informal manor (particularly when describing other growth models); exponential growth is specifically defined.

Sorry for the post. For whatever reason using the term exponential to describe growth models that are not exponential is a pet peeve of mine. Other than that I liked your post. 👍
Click to expand...

Sure it does, it grows at e^rt. If you're taking out new loans it's more complicated, but it's still exponential growth.
 
charfdorn said:
Sure it does, it grows at e^rt. If you're taking out new loans it's more complicated, but it's still exponential growth.
Click to expand...

Well you have a point. It depends on what kind of loan we are talking about. Simple Interest Loans follow I=P*r*t. Not exponential. Compound interest is exponential (never seen it expresed as e^rt but I am sure you are right). So I should apologize here; exponential does describe some loans. Sorry about that!
 
owlegrad said:
Well you have a point. It depends on what kind of loan we are talking about. Simple Interest Loans follow I=P*r*t. Not exponential. Compound interest is exponential (never seen it expresed as e^rt but I am sure you are right). So I should apologize here; exponential does describe some loans. Sorry about that!
Click to expand...

e^rt is continuously compounded interest. You might be more familiar with A=P(1 +r/n)^nt, which is still exponential. And I believe student loans are compounded. That said, the OP still used the term incorrectly. A current student's debt grows geometrically, that is, each year they are in school they borrow the same amount. There's a negligible amount of exponential growth from the interest but what kills you is the negative earnings aspect of it (i.e., instead of making money each year you're borrowing more).
 
charfdorn said:
e^rt is continuously compounded interest. You might be more familiar with A=P(1 +r/n)^nt, which is still exponential. And I believe student loans are compounded. That said, the OP still used the term incorrectly. A current student's debt grows geometrically, that is, each year they are in school they borrow the same amount. There's a negligible amount of exponential growth from the interest but what kills you is the negative earnings aspect of it (i.e., instead of making money each year you're borrowing more).
Click to expand...

Forgive me - the OP didn't talk about exponential growth, that was mustang sally.
 
Finish school, I'm sure there are ways to blend your interest in herbal medicine and OT in your later years.
 
charfdorn said:
e^rt is continuously compounded interest. You might be more familiar with A=P(1 +r/n)^nt, which is still exponential. And I believe student loans are compounded. That said, the OP still used the term incorrectly. A current student's debt grows geometrically, that is, each year they are in school they borrow the same amount. There's a negligible amount of exponential growth from the interest but what kills you is the negative earnings aspect of it (i.e., instead of making money each year you're borrowing more).
Click to expand...

Yup.
 
sanrevelle said:
this post might get a bit long, so please bear with me here.

i graduated from college 4 years ago. then i basically spent the last 4 years finishing up prereqs and working and volunteering at pharmacies for my pharmacy school application. i got in, and here i am now, a P1. here's the problem (not a very original one either): i never really wanted to be a pharmacist. in short, halfway through undergrad, i panicked under familial and social pressure to pursue pharmacy as a career like the stupid, prestige-obsessed, and naive undergraduate that i was. even my post-college years were spent in much doubt, but i chugged along anyway because i spent so much of my time (and money) getting this far. now that i am finally in pharm school, my gut instinct has been right all along: i really shouldnt be here.

but turning away from this is going to have very great consequences. the first thing that will happen is that my parents will literally disown me, so i wouldn't be able to go home. second thing is, i have no freakin' money (pharm techs dont make much, as you know); im on loans right now. third thing is, it is damn hard to find any job right now, even retail (no ****, we're in a recession). i feel like i've almost literally dug my own grave right now.

if i quit, im looking at homelessness. if i stay, im looking at misery in the face for god knows how long.

you may ask, what is that you really wanted to do? well, im much more interested in herbal medicine, occupational therapy, nutrition, art. i didnt realize that i was interested in these things (except for art) until about a year ago, and at the time i felt that it was too late to turn back. what an idiot i was.

serious advice only please. though, you can berate me if you want to.
Click to expand...

My advice is the same as many of those that have posted before. Finish your PharmD and then pursue your dreams whatever they maybe. I don't know where life will take me but at least I know that I have some solid edumacation. :laugh:
 
sanrevelle said:
this post might get a bit long, so please bear with me here.

i graduated from college 4 years ago. then i basically spent the last 4 years finishing up prereqs and working and volunteering at pharmacies for my pharmacy school application. i got in, and here i am now, a P1. here's the problem (not a very original one either): i never really wanted to be a pharmacist. in short, halfway through undergrad, i panicked under familial and social pressure to pursue pharmacy as a career like the stupid, prestige-obsessed, and naive undergraduate that i was. even my post-college years were spent in much doubt, but i chugged along anyway because i spent so much of my time (and money) getting this far. now that i am finally in pharm school, my gut instinct has been right all along: i really shouldnt be here.

but turning away from this is going to have very great consequences. the first thing that will happen is that my parents will literally disown me, so i wouldn't be able to go home. second thing is, i have no freakin' money (pharm techs dont make much, as you know); im on loans right now. third thing is, it is damn hard to find any job right now, even retail (no ****, we're in a recession). i feel like i've almost literally dug my own grave right now.

if i quit, im looking at homelessness. if i stay, im looking at misery in the face for god knows how long.

you may ask, what is that you really wanted to do? well, im much more interested in herbal medicine, occupational therapy, nutrition, art. i didnt realize that i was interested in these things (except for art) until about a year ago, and at the time i felt that it was too late to turn back. what an idiot i was.

serious advice only please. though, you can berate me if you want to.
Click to expand...

Be sure you don't just hate school. It's easy to become disillusioned when being challenged to the max during pharmacy school (me right now) and second guess one's career choice.

Then I walk into my favorite grocery-store pharmacy and it all comes rushing back 🙂

Finish the year, get good grades, and FIND WHERE YOU BELONG IN PHARMACY. Do some soul-searching this summer but friend, I would strongly discourage you from dropping out.

You may never have this chance again.

You can always do something on the side when you're done!

Good luck, friend (John McCain reference)
 
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