What Is Your Greatest Fear About Going to Professional School as a Nontrad?

I worry about not getting into med school and how I would pay off debt I accrued in the post-bac program.

I worry about dragging my spouse through the process while having med school not be worth it in the end

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Pretty much any of those could keep me up all night, though not getting in is high on the list.

Not getting in, for shizzle. It's the most arbitrary and most uncontrolable part of the whole process. Everything else (good grades, steps, working long hours, finances, etc) are my problems and my problems alone. I am more than willing to accept the challenge.

But put me in a situation where my fate lies solely in the hands of the arbitrary decisions of others, and you bet I lie awake at night. An admissions committee could reject all of their top class, and then reject all of their second best class, and fill their slots with the third round of applicants, and still have an absolutely phenomenal incoming medical school class.

They have nothing to lose, while I have a lot to lose.

MT Headed said:

Not getting in, for shizzle. It's the most arbitrary and most uncontrolable part of the whole process. Everything else (good grades, steps, working long hours, finances, etc) are my problems and my problems alone. I am more than willing to accept the challenge.

But put me in a situation where my fate lies solely in the hands of the arbitrary decisions of others, and you bet I lie awake at night. An admissions committee could reject all of their top class, and then reject all of their second best class, and fill their slots with the third round of applicants, and still have an absolutely phenomenal incoming medical school class.

They have nothing to lose, while I have a lot to lose.

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You have more control over the process than you'd think. Great person + great app + early + great interview = acceptance 9 times out of 10.

I have a lot of debt already, but I know that working full time tanks my grades so I just keep on spending more money I don't have a guaranteed return on. It's a big risk...... so yeah, I'm on the "finances" train.

Losing a lot of sleep because each night I have to worry and think how to do better in upper division classes. I am more worry that I will not be competitive enough to get in any professional schools.

Losing my long term relationship which at this point (heading into my 2nd year) is hanging on by a thread. That and the lack of sleep really gets to me. It was also difficult for us when I went down to part-time hours; I was used to a certain salary and lifestyle. It is all a sacrifice that is hopefully worth it in the end. Until then, I suffer through it and try to make the most out of my experiences. Don't get me wrong; I like school and what I am learning. I just miss having time for my family, my gf, and myself.

Why do so many fear not getting in?

This is not a mysterious closed door process.

Play the game, cross your Ts, dot your Is, write about how you really enjoyed your time in the soup kitchen/refugee camp/health clinic, and how you love science and want to contribute to the world, and as long as you can get a middle of the road score in your classes/GRE/whatever, you will get in...

Just be careful what you wish for...


http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=55501

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=195799

For me it's the work-life balance. If I can't get in, i'll try again until I get in. I know I can work hard. We're financially secure and planned everything out. I also accept the fact that I may hurt someone during training (of course unintentionally) but that's what training are for. I'll try to do my best to avoid that scenario. But one thing I know for sure is that my family life (husband/kids) will suffer because of this career choice. And I'm still trying to figure out how to balance it...

Work life balance at this stage is really tough - it is going to get even more difficult at the next stage.

These are my top three:

• Work-Life Balance -- Physical Stress (being tired all the time, not eating well, etc.)
• Finances and Debt
• Making a Mistake that Hurts or Kills Someone

Right now, my number one is not being able to handle the work if accepted. I know I could... but I'm competitive and would want to be at the top.

Not getting in is only a small fear of mine right now. I know that I can get my gpa up enough to make it competitive and with enough studying, get a good mcat score, etc.

I've noticed as the semesters progress, debt is becoming more and more of a fear. I just started on this road, taken two classes thus far but it'll be a major source of stress soon enough I'm sure.

I think that once I've been accepted and have had patient contact, making a mistake that could hurt or kill someone would be number one. Right now, it's just in the back of my mind.

Ellipsis1104 said:

Well, I wasn't really worried about getting in until reading all the above posts.

I guess my biggest fear right now is screwing up my kids (which has been my biggest fear since having kids ~lol), but knowing the time sink that is med school and residency will happen right in the middle of their adolescence years is what keeps me up at night

Once the reality of the job starts making itself clear in 3rd and 4th year, I'm sure I'll trade sleep for worry about killing someone.

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I jumped on the finances train because that's my fear specific to being a non-trad. But my overarching biggest fear is that I'll "not have what it takes." All the specialties I like are super-competitive, mostly surgical sub-specialties, where it's not unheard of for people to get booted.

Or let's say, you give over your 10+ years and "make it out," but your first Norwood procedure is an epic fail. Not only have you then destroyed a family forever, but (on a much lesser note) your career is SOL.

As you can see, I'm an optimist

I am surprised that work-life balance ranks so high. That has never been a concern of mine now or in the past. Maybe I just don't know what I'm missing.

I've always lived an unbalanced existence of extreme work or extreme life. I'm finishing up a decade of extreme life right now, and frankly I'm a little tired of it. I'm looking forward to the next decade of extreme work, much like I did in the 1990's.

MT Headed said:

I am surprised that work-life balance ranks so high. That has never been a concern of mine now or in the past. Maybe I just don't know what I'm missing.

I've always lived an unbalanced existence of extreme work or extreme life. I'm finishing up a decade of extreme life right now, and frankly I'm a little tired of it. I'm looking forward to the next decade of extreme work, much like I did in the 1990's.

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I chose Work-Life Balance, but for me it's more a work-family balance. I'm worried about the impact on my family.

I'm confident I'll get in eventually. I know I can hack it intellectually. I have rationalized the cost (and have faced student, consumer, and mortgage debt on this scale before). Physical stress - meh, it'll pass. I do have a fear of hurting somone, but it's not at the front of my mind yet.

Balancing my family's needs with my own desires/pursuits - that's a big one for me.

This seems like more of a Trad list than nontrad list and here's why:

1)Finances and Debt - been there, done that, HIGHLY experienced
2)Work-Life Balance - been there, done that, HIGHLY experienced
3)Not Being Able to Get Accepted to Professional School - substitute accepted to Prof school with raise, new job, promotion. BIG difference, many nontrads already have solid, well paying "fall-backs".
4)Not Being Able to Handle the Work if Accepted - see #2 above
5) Disliking Professional School/Being a Health Professional - sustitute prof school/health prof with new job or my fav, new boss.
6)Making a Mistake that Hurts or Kills Someone - check, though most nontrads with a lot of job expereinces knows no one can always be perfect.
7) Physical Stress (being tired all the time, not eating well, etc.) - been there, done that, HIGHLY experienced.

Nontrad concerns IMHO:
1) Bad backs/kness/fill in other body parts, especially if you're a former athlete
2) No 401K contributions for at least 8 years.
3) Spending private school tuition/college funds on med school tuition
4) Balancing mortage payments with med school expenses.
5) Selling a house to relocate for med school/residency/fellowship
6) Losing a spouse to divorce in the process.
7) Losing your kids to drugs or other aberrant behavior in the process.

I'm sure I could think of more with more time.

Finishing up medical school and, shortly thereafter, needing to stop practicing because I've gotten cancer. A lot of my family (mother, both sets of grandparents, two uncles, one aunt) has had cancer, even without any sort of risk factors such as smoking or obesity. There's an excellent chance that some of my cells are going to go nova, enough that I'm contemplating a radical hysterectomy/oophorectomy/double mastectomy to reduce my odds.

BrainOnFire said:

Finishing up medical school and, shortly thereafter, needing to stop practicing because I've gotten cancer. A lot of my family (mother, both sets of grandparents, two uncles, one aunt) has had cancer, even without any sort of risk factors such as smoking or obesity. There's an excellent chance that some of my cells are going to go nova, enough that I'm contemplating a radical hysterectomy/oophorectomy/double mastectomy to reduce my odds.

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THAT is a lot to worry about! Remember Flowers for Algernon? Get your MD and get busy on the cure. My thoughts prayers and efforts are with you.

My biggest worries right now:

1) Flunking out

2) The enormous debt

My biggest worry is making it all work with my family.... I currently have a good paying job, lots of free time, have lots of time alone with my kids while my wife is at work, have time together with my wife, etc etc. She is currently finishing school while I'm getting ready to apply next year. Eventually, we are going to have to move to a new area, worry about her ability to get a job, how we are going to take care of our children with no family near us, the financial responsibilities of having a family with only one spouse working while the other is getting into debt, etc etc. Having a family does make me worry about a whole host of things that more than likely would just be like whatever if it was only me I had to consider. And, the thought of what impact this is going to have on my children in the long run does worry me. I want to be a good caring parent who has time to be in my kids lives.....But, at the same time, I want my kids to know that they can follow their dreams and they should pursue the things in life that they are passionate about.

MT Headed said:

Not getting in, for shizzle. It's the most arbitrary and most uncontrolable part of the whole process. Everything else (good grades, steps, working long hours, finances, etc) are my problems and my problems alone. I am more than willing to accept the challenge.

But put me in a situation where my fate lies solely in the hands of the arbitrary decisions of others, and you bet I lie awake at night. An admissions committee could reject all of their top class, and then reject all of their second best class, and fill their slots with the third round of applicants, and still have an absolutely phenomenal incoming medical school class.

They have nothing to lose, while I have a lot to lose.

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I hear you. Spending the $$ that I am, and the time, I'm 100% happy to do it to give it a shot. But If my best efforts aren't good enough, fear that I'll wake up 2 years from now with my money gone and no admittance to med school, that will bug me.

I picked work-life balance, because it is my biggest concern at the moment. With that said, I'm not going to lie and say it's not scary to think of quitting my job.

Well, I think the fears depend on where you are in the process.

First, is getting in.
Then it's can I handle the workload.
Then comes WTF have I done to my husband/wife and/or children?
And after you see what your loans are and think about what happens all four years you get oh, JEEZ THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.
And you realize that you have to make choices. Will you study, be a gunner, get straight A's or will you actually spend time with your family? Guilt is a killer.
Then comes what OH CRAP. BOARDS.
Then rotations. I haven't learned ANYTHING the first two years.
Residency app season. What if I don't get in? What if they don't want me? What if I ask my spouse and family to move AGAIN?
Residency. Dang. I'm older than most of my attendings.
Residency. I stress even more about money and finances. Residency doesn't pay much. I'm like the guy on the lawnmower: I'm in debt up to my eyeballs. Nope, take that back. PAST my eyeballs. I can't even see the surface.

Nearing end of residency: light at the end of the tunnel! Looking at jobs.

I never really got the "making a mistake that could kill someone" stress. Perhaps I'm too used to it after doing the paramedic thing for so long. The mistake possibilities are a little different now, but the stress of it is relatively the same.

All that being said, the rewards are pretty darn great so far.

First day of school next week! Being so far removed from undergrad, its the basic science curriculum that scares me these days. There are semester-long classes that cover this material--and we'll be covering it in 3 hours of lecture?

I think I've got a good study strategy, but time shall tell!

I'm also nervous about how the study/family time is going to work out. Will I get enough time with the kids? Will I be preoccupied, or will be able to really be there for them?

ShyRem, you should write a book. I seriously want to print out every post you write and post it on my wall (and some I have).

After 40+ years of being a fearful & drama-inclined neurotic worrier, I'm just not anymore.

Going after med school, at 38, was the first thing I ever took on where I didn't know in advance that I'd be able to get in or handle it or like it. Biggest risk I ever took (other than that 2nd fiance, yikes).

You bet, before I got accepted I was terrified of not getting in, terrified I'd have to do software again, generally terrified.

Now I've gotten in DO, done cancer, done an SMP, and gotten in MD. I can still get gigs in my old industry when I need money, and dang but that's easy work. Fear just pretty much doesn't happen now. For an atheist I've got a ton of faith.

Which is really great. I hope my fellow over-40 nontrads get to enjoy similar freedoms.

My biggest fear is not getting in.

My second fear is that if I get in, I'll be 31 or 32 and I have this fear that I'll be working so hard for the next 7+ years that I'll never be able to get married or that I won't meet the right person because I'll be too old.

I don't however fear the workload, the long hours, or the stress.

For an atheist I've got a ton of faith.

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Dr. Midlife, THAT is priceless. Love it!

From the Oregon secondary: "What will be your greatest challenge in becoming a physician?"

I suppose "getting past your interview process" is not an acceptable answer. Sigh, I guess I need to make up another 300 word response. Thanks for all the suggestions!

DrMidlife said:

After 40+ years of being a fearful & drama-inclined neurotic worrier, I'm just not anymore......I hope my fellow over-40 nontrads get to enjoy similar freedoms.

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I most certainly do.

>age 40, nothing much out of my control really bothers me to the point of worry, certainly not the possibility of med school admissions, medical school, residency, or fellowship.

If I get admitted, GREAT! If I don't, my already wonderful life goes on!!!

drdan83 said:

My second fear is that if I get in, I'll be 31 or 32 and I have this fear that I'll be working so hard for the next 7+ years that I'll never be able to get married or that I won't meet the right person because I'll be too old.

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I'm the same age you are, if 83 is your birth year, and it looks like we're both in the same place since I've got at least 3 years left before I can seriously apply to anything..... and I've got the same fears. I try not to think about that part.

Dang. 1983 as your birth year????? )-!@&). I was a senior in high school that year. I feel old now.

So if I can make it with one foot in the grave so can you.

In a way, we non-trads have the least to worry about than a typical medical student.


I want, very badly, to become a doctor. But, if I fail, I have my current skillset to fall back on, through which I have been making a living for the past 10 years.

That being said, I just want to get in to medical school--that is my primary worry. I may be a bit naive, but I feel that once we are given a chance, we will show our ability to excel once in med school.

Most of those things worry me to one degree or another, but I'm trying not let that stuff bother me too much. Sure this path is a risk but that's life. The way I see it is that mostly everything worthwhile in this life has some risk to it.

A lot of what was listed in the poll, I think I can manage or were never fears of mine to begin with. Sometimes, I don't think of myself as a very traditional non-trad; yes, I've held down a career before pursuing medicine, but I don't have a family to raise, either, as so many of you do. No; my biggest fear is developing early-onset old curmudgeon syndrome.

PostHaste said:

I chose Work-Life Balance, but for me it's more a work-family balance. I'm worried about the impact on my family.

I'm confident I'll get in eventually. I know I can hack it intellectually. I have rationalized the cost (and have faced student, consumer, and mortgage debt on this scale before). Physical stress - meh, it'll pass. I do have a fear of hurting somone, but it's not at the front of my mind yet.

Balancing my family's needs with my own desires/pursuits - that's a big one for me.

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^^This^^
Definately.

Failing out... for sure... Tops on the list... However, I'm maintaining decent grades, so not such an issue... I spend enough time with the hubby to keep the marriage in decent shape, and enough time in school to keep school in decent shape...

Prior to getting in it was the not getting in, even though I enjoyed my job as a transport medic I knew I wouldn't be completely happy doing it for my entire life.

Now that I'm in med school, keeping my wife happy and staying married is now the biggest worry for me.

I answered this already but right now, my greatest fear is making it to the end and finding out despite all the shadowing, etc that I have done......... that I made the wrong choice.

NuttyEngDude said:

I answered this already but right now, my greatest fear is making it to the end and finding out despite all the shadowing, etc that I have done......... that I made the wrong choice.

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This is me. What if I spend all those years in school not spending time with my kids and it wasn't the right decision? I'm still 3 years out from finishing undergrad and interested in an MD/PhD program. Add a fellowship on top of that and I'm in school the next 15 years of my life, both of my kids will be grown! This path is supposed to help support my family, do I drop the PhD and then go back for it later? But I feel so strongly about what I want to study... *sigh* so torn and so worried I'm going to make a decision that will break my family instead of help make it stronger.

My biggest fear is getting into med school and my spouse and I not seeing eye to eye on the necessary sacrifices.

I'm afraid of how my relationship will suffer.

My gf hates me for never being there for her. I'm usually studying from sun rise to sun set and never really have to the time to talk to her. I enjoy school but it has become a burden on my loved ones including my family. I'm fortunate to have a family that is a lot more understanding than my gf but even then it really sucks. I just wish they understood how much pressure I'm already in. The pressure isn't if I can handle medical school or not but to prove to myself and most importantly to my medical school that I'm here to give it my all.

flodhi1 said:

My gf hates me for never being there for her. I'm usually studying from sun rise to sun set and never really have to the time to talk to her. I enjoy school but it has become a burden on my loved ones including my family. I'm fortunate to have a family that is a lot more understanding than my gf but even then it really sucks. I just wish they understood how much pressure I'm already in. The pressure isn't if I can handle medical school or not but to prove to myself and most importantly to my medical school that I'm here to give it my all.

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Biggest fear: ^ That has to be at least in the top 3 for me, if I ever get to that part of the process.

Everyone says the same thing; that is, they are entirely overloaded with cramming material into their brains, and all their closets are stuffed to the ceiling. Someone has to have a system that makes the process less overwhelming, yet I haven't seen/heard anyone mention it yet.

Not getting in is a big fear, but as others have said, that is something I have some measure of control over. Thank goodness I found SDN because without the wealth of information I have gotten on here, there is literally no way I would even stand a chance of getting into any med school in the US.

The debt things bugs me too. I recently decided to jump on the loan wagon because working fulltime and doing all I need to do to make myself competitive is proving impossible. Then there is actual med school tuition and living costs. Add the fact that the kind of medicine I want to go into is not exactly going to be of the big bucks variety and I just about have panic attacks everytime I think about it.

I think my biggest fear right now (maybe falls under work/life balance) is figuring out how to have kids in med school and how to be a good spouse and good mom when I'm going to be so busy. Finances and general stress are a tie for a close second, but every one in a while I actually feeling a little guilty that I'm doing this. Not planning to give it up and really thankful to have such a supportive partner, but I worry that I'm going to burn him out and make him regret staying with me.