Everybody loves oatmeal. Except the French.
We're considered French down here. I guess enough people like oatmeal here, but they usually eat
grits. I've never eaten cream of wheat! Like I said, I'm scared of it.
There are lots of French last names that get screwed up all the time down here. Example: Hebert is said "Aybear". My friend from out of state tried to find this last name in the A's

. She couldn't find the medicine so she informed the patient. They said, "because it's Hebert". She said, "Right. I already looked in the A's". The customer yells, "HEBERT starts with an H." She tells me later that they're are too many weird last names in Louisiana. They're weird, because they're mostly French or Cajun French names.
My Cousin Vinny (1992)
Vinny Gambini: How could it take you five minutes to cook your grits when it takes the entire grit-eating world 20 minutes?
Mr. Tipton: Um... I'm a fast cook, I guess.
Vinny Gambini: [
across beside the jury] What? I'm sorry I was over there. Did you just say you were a fast cook? Are we to believe that boiling water soaks into a grit faster in your kitchen than any place on the face of the earth?
Mr. Tipton: I don't know.
Vinny Gambini: Perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove. Were these magic grits? Did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?
In case anyone doesn't get it, if it takes you 5 minutes to cook your grits, then you must have used INSTANT grits, which is a tragedy.