reward of $500

I am willing to give $500 dollars to anyone that can help find me a residency.
I might even be willing to pay more and I am completely serious. I have passed all my tests and am a foreign grad and also have a masters in health care administration. I don't mean next year by the way, I mean ASAP. If you know of a program thats unfilled please contact me and that would be a start, if I get the position the reward is yours. You can email me with any information at [email protected]. By the way I am willing to do any type of residency anywhere.
Thank You
Dave