prego intern

flipflopsnsnow said:

So, just found out I am expecting, and my due date will be around June 1, 2007. I have applied for residency next year, and now I am wondering will this work? Can I match and then tell my residency program, oh yeah I am taking maternity leave the first month of residency?

Not sure how that might work. Any input would be wonderful!

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to what specialty are you applying? some tend to be more supportive than others. of course, by law, they're not allowed to ask you about pregnancy/starting a family, but there are plenty of good 'ole boys out there that will still ask/care about that sort of thing.

regardless, please let your program know once you match. i knew an intern that didn't tell them and she showed up on July 1 wanted to go directly onto maternity leave. again, by law, they had to give it to her. needless to say, she started off on the wrong foot and was looked down upon by pretty much everyone. the worst of it was with her fellow interns, who had to pick up her slack when it was too late to rework the schedule.

colbgw02 said:

to what specialty are you applying? some tend to be more supportive than others. of course, by law, they're not allowed to ask you about pregnancy/starting a family, but there are plenty of good 'ole boys out there that will still ask/care about that sort of thing.

regardless, please let your program know once you match. i knew an intern that didn't tell them and she showed up on July 1 wanted to go directly onto maternity leave. again, by law, they had to give it to her. needless to say, she started off on the wrong foot and was looked down upon by pretty much everyone. the worst of it was with her fellow interns, who had to pick up her slack when it was too late to rework the schedule.

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and its busy as an intern as it is and you don't know much haha.

I agree with colbgw02. Let the program know immediately so they can plan the schedule accordingly. If you are due the first part of June and deliver close to your due date you may not need to take much time off from residency (usual time off is 6 weeks), and your rotation schedule can be adjusted to maximize the number of required intern rotations, without putting you at risk of needing to add time to the end of your residency to make up for time lost.

Good luck... and congrats!!

Keep in mind that internship will likely be one of the most stressful events of your life. Likewise, the birth of a child is also one of the most stressful events (especially if the newborn is your first). Do not underestimate the sleep deprivation accrued in each.

You will likely be able to do both if you have help at home, many mothers do, but consider taking a year off if you can afford to. Your career can wait, and you will never get back those 80 hours a week you are away from your newborn/infant.

To answer your question, tell the program on the day you match ,and administratively, any leave you take will not be a big deal.

i just wante to add to the above post.i am an ms4 qnd just had a baby 4 weeks ago. idon't know if u have any other children, but if u don't know that this has been the most stressful thing i have ever done, and i have been offt the whole month. it's like being on call every night with no post call day off. every day i thank G-d that i am not a resident or don't have to work b/c i am barely getting by as it is. do yourself a favor and take a year off, that's my advice.

Just apply, interview and match as if you were not preganant. Once you are matched, you can let your program know. They may figure out that you are pregnant depending on how much you show during the interview. If not, tell the program if you wish or don't as that is your personal decision.

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I just hate this approach. When your signed to a program they expect you to work and take call. Its not just for yourself but for the other interns who will have to work harder and pick up the slack to make up for you. You should really be honest about it w/your program and even consider taking a year off. Having a kid during your intern year is really not the smartest idea. If this is your first kid then you prolly don't realize how physically and emotionally demanding it will be to take care of. Add the that the stresses that come w/intern year and its just not a good combination. Why so many people think that med school is the greatest time to get pregnant is beyond me.

Let the program know after you've matched. The best thing would be to let them know in March as soon after Match Day as possible. I wouldn't bring it up during interviews unless you look obviously pregnant and/or they ask.

You have vacation time and elective time. If you let them know early, whether or not you end up using "maternity leave" they can at least arrange for you to use up your vacation when you want it. I've known a couple people who frontloaded their vacation and elective into the first month (or two months) of internship in order to have their baby.

It does, of course, suck to have used up your year's vacation in the first month of internship. However, it's an option that may be available to you if you tell them early.

flipflopsnsnow said:

so if taking a year off is something i decide to do, then do i just cancel all of my applications and interviews then reapply next year? would all my LOR still be okay to reuse?
is it possible to defer residency for a year after matching like you can sometimes for med school?


thanks!

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If taking a year off, cancel your interviews and re-apply next year with the same LOR's plus anything else you've done (volunteering, light rotations, research, etc) to enhance your application during your year off. You're bound by the Match contract to show up for work July 1 and there's no room in that contract to defer and still keep your place -- they could probably fire you for doing that.

If you take a year off, I've heard it's best to defer your graduation rather than graduating and then taking time off, because you'll have a much more difficult time getting access to your dean's office for advising, uploading your application to ERAS, etc. Just defer graduation (find a stupid reason such as not taking CS or not doing a required rotation) and do some light rotations throughout the year.

One of the interns at my residency had a baby a week before orientation. They accommodated her- she got 2 weeks vacation, then a couple of cush rotations without call.

What are you guys talking about? Let them know after you match? Hello! You might be showing when you interview! Granted, you will just be starting your second trimester in December, and so if you can get ALL your interviewing in done by November, that may be possible to keep this unknown. Since interview season typically runs through the end of January, you possibly may go back for second looks or whatever, and so, in my opinion, holding back this information isn't the best way to go. Granted, you may find that some RDs are jerks about this- but would you want to work for such a jerk when you have a sick baby at home and the RD cannot possibly understand why you can't come in to round at 4 am? I think it is better to find out what kind of program/RD this is up front, esp when it comes to family life and babies. I do know that some residents go on vacation in July, because they are scheduled to go on vacation then. So, that can certainly be worked out for you that way (though I don't know how you can not participate in orientation...etc, too program specific to comment on.) Also, residents actually take time off ALL the time, to research, to do work abroad...etc, and so to take time off for maternity isn't unacceptable. Of course, other residents may have to pick up the slack for call and stuff, but they will live.
I recently had such an experience. I am about to finish residency (took time off for my first bambino). So, I was about to sign the contract for my new job, and opted to tell my new boss that I am pregnant and would like to have six months off next year. I took the risk, because I wanted to know really what kind of boss he is. He said, no problem, the other doc he just hired is also pregnant and we will be staggered for our leaves, and since he has 8 months notice, he appreciated me telling him now and he can find a sub.
I fully understand that not all bosses are this understanding, but it was important for me to find up.

I had a baby during my intern year, so this is my 2 cents

First, I would ask what program you are applying for. Programs like peds are generally more forgiving, but no program is 100% happy with a preg intern because you are taking away from the work force.

I agree with Jennyboo. Maybe you could find a research project or public health project for this year and reapply next year.

Second: when to tell you program: Before or after the interview? I think every woman (whether or not they are preg) should ask about maternity leave, child care, previous preg residents. If they look at you in horror, maybe you should drop them, lol. I think as long as you tell them before they make the schedule, you are being fair. If you become preg during intern/residency, tell your program ASAP (most women will wait until 12 weeks because the risk of miscarriage decreases)

Last, remember that your pregnancy is a priority for you, not everyone else. Even when you are tired and have swollen cankles, you will be expected to pull your weight. Residents who use their preg to get out of work are not liked and give women a bad name. Don't use your kids for leverage, i.e. "I deserve Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas off because I have kids." This will also make you unpopular. Also, expect the unexpected. Your kid will get sick when you are on call or at work. You cannot leave everytime your kid gets a fever. Have a person designated to pick you kid up from daycare.

Sorry for the long post. PM me if u want. And congrats!

Congrats on the pregnancy! I think the expectation/suggestion that you should take a year off because your pregnant just so you don't inconvience anyone is ridiculous. As a pregnant resident(3rd year EM) expecting my first one soon, this should be a personal decision based on what is best for you. If you want more time off with the baby then by all means take a year off. However assuming you have some support at home, finishing a residency with a baby is not impossible. In my own experience I found most of the faculty to be very understanding and accomidating-this will depend on your specialty but remember most of them are older and have kids of their own so even the guys can relate. As long as you tell them early they will be able to adjust your schedule so that you can have vacation or light rotations around your maternity leave. Your fellow residents will give you the most problems(not up front but you will hear things behind your back) because they have to pick up extra shifts while your away. But don't worry they'll get over it. In my 3 years as a resident I've never called out sick or been late to a shift and have worked several extra shifts for my fellow male residents when they have gotten sick. The FMLA is in place for everyone-we have had male residents unexpectently take off 1-2 months for illness/surgery-it happens and life goes on. So my advice is do what is best for you. Be up front with your residency director early once you match. Good luck

so if taking a year off is something i decide to do, then do i just cancel all of my applications and interviews then reapply next year? would all my LOR still be okay to reuse?
is it possible to defer residency for a year after matching like you can sometimes for med school?

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yes, yes, and yes. DO NOT PUT OFF GRADUATION!! no way.
i took time off, and i did fine...no, i did great!

congrats, and good luck!

While you're running around rearranging your life so that it doesn't inconvenience others, what are the "others" doing? Yes, that's right. Caring about only themselves. It's quite obvious from many of these posts that while these people don't give a rat's patoot about you or your situation, they clearly expect you to plan personal milestones like having your children around their needs, with zero consideration from them about yours.

There are people like this all over the place, and some of them do become doctors, just ready and waiting to make you feel like crap for getting sick, having a parent die, and (god forbid) wanting to have children during your peak reproductive years.

If this is your first, you probably won't show obviously for awhile. AWHILE, like 5-6 months or so. Anything before then just looks like bloat, or is easily hidden by smart clothing choices. They won't guess you are pregnant if you are due in June. Come on, this isn't STAR magazine or US WEEKLY, there won't be a paparazzo pic of you with a circled "bump" inserted into your file!

So, don't tell until you match, be as flexible as possible while they rearrange things for you, be ridiculous about helping others when you get back, and when you are back, expect nothing extra in terms of treatment.

As for taking a year off, this is what I did. I was pregnant during 4th year and didn't want to start residency in my 3rd trimester, then spend the rest with a newborn. I took a year off, and am applying now, and am having no trouble getting interviews with no new information on my application except a sentence or two in my PS explaining my leave. Of course, I'm looking at FP, so maybe they are more "family friendly", who knows. OH! In fact, I took ANOTHER year off, because I didn't want to interview when my kid was only o1-2 months old. So there ya go, two years off and so far it doesn't seem like a problem.

But take a year off because you want to, not because some dimwit is going to talk about you behind your back because you dared to become a mother on his/her time. Please.

While you're running around rearranging your life so that it doesn't inconvenience others, what are the "others" doing? Yes, that's right. Caring about only themselves. It's quite obvious from many of these posts that while these people don't give a rat's patoot about you or your situation, they clearly expect you to plan personal milestones like having your children around their needs, with zero consideration from them about yours.

There are people like this all over the place, and some of them do become doctors, just ready and waiting to make you feel like crap for getting sick, having a parent die, and (god forbid) wanting to have children during your peak reproductive years.

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There is a HUGE difference between having a parent die, getting sick and having kids. Having kids is a choice. In this day in age, w/so many forms of birth control you can choose when you will have a kid. Having a parent die or getting sick are out of anyones control. You don't choose when or how they happen. I have much sympathy for someone in that situation b/c its out of their control. I have very little sympathy for someone who gets pregnant now and then wonders what she will do in 9 months. This is something that should have been thought of BEFORE you get pregnant, not after. Medicine is an 7+ year undertaking, women and men alike must put their lives on hold from time to time in order to get through it.

me454555 said:

There is a HUGE difference between having a parent die, getting sick and having kids. Having kids is a choice. In this day in age, w/so many forms of birth control you can choose when you will have a kid. Having a parent die or getting sick are out of anyones control. You don't choose when or how they happen. I have much sympathy for someone in that situation b/c its out of their control. I have very little sympathy for someone who gets pregnant now and then wonders what she will do in 9 months. This is something that should have been thought of BEFORE you get pregnant, not after. Medicine is an 7+ year undertaking, women and men alike must put their lives on hold from time to time in order to get through it.

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Clearly, you do not have children. It's not like buying a car. If you have a method that will allow couples to plan exactly when all of their children will be born, please let the world know, because more than half of all births are unplanned, and all birth control methods are less than 100% effective even with perfect use.

I put having children, people dying, and illness in the same category because they are all facts of life. Life - which WILL continue whether you want to put it on "hold" or not - and SHOULD continue. I disagree that one's world comes to a standstill during medical training.

People in all professions have kids, planned or not, and every kid that is born messes up someone's schedule.

Having a child is such a blessed, joyful, monumental event in life, and when to do so is solely up to the parents.

This is one of those issues where not everyone is going to agree. I see the point of those who feel that their needs should be considered when their acquaintances decide to start a family, but to me, it just seems ridiculous for anyone else other than the parents to think that they are involved.

By the way Flip, congratulations on expecting your first little one. This is the best thing you'll ever do. Becoming a doctor is small potatoes compared to becoming a parent. Kudoes to you for LIVING!!

Congratulations!

While I think when and who you decide to tell are ultimately your decisions, and wouldn't necessarily recommend mentioning your pregnancy during interviews, after you match, PLEASE let the program director know as soon as possible, especially if you match in a small program. There are some programs where there are so many residents that adjusting the schedule to cover for someone is a relatively trivial undertaking, but there are small ones where it is going to have a major impact on others if you don't provide enough warning. Things come up and we have to cover for each other in residency, it's true, but it's only professional and courteous to do what you can to minimize the impact on others. I'm in a small program, and we've had residents get sick, pregnant, etcetera, and they've been covered for them, but giving as much advance warning as possible is critical. The EM resident who got pregnant in the third year is in a MUCH different situation than an intern who will be spending many months on call (depending on residency and program), and will have a much less flexible situation.

Personally, as someone who is currently an intern, I find it stressful and exhausting enough without a newborn. I would highly recommend taking a year for yourself and your baby, if possible.

I would (and did) just graduate. It's much easier to dedicate yourself to your rotation without a newborn to worry about. Plus, if you are going to nurse, you have to find somewhere (and some time) to pump, etc. I think it's less of a hassle to do one thing at a time.

My best friend was in your situation (actually was due June 26). She did take a year off. From spending much time with her during this time, I can tell you that she does not regret the decision. The extra time did not hurt her chances in matching the following year, and she was still able to have access to our schools resources during her time off.

With regards to doing something during your year, I think that research would be a great solution. A clinical research project rather than something in the basic science area will be more feasible, because these projects tend to be less time consuming (especially with a new baby in the house). In addition, there is a better likelyhood that you will be able to benefit from a publication with less than a year of time to spend in pursuit. In the case of a retrospective study, you may be able to do much of the work (e.g. statisitical analysis, background research, and depending on the electronic medical record of your institution, even some chart review) from home. Prospective clinical studies are also a possibility if they are limited to a discrete amount of time, but many are longer term and require more in hospital time.

If you decide on research , I suggest approaching a well known faculty member in your field of interest and explaining your situation. Approach them as soon as possible this year to derive the maximum benefits before resubmitting ERAS. Most that I know are very excited about having a extra set of hands for a few months or a year. Explain up front the amount of time you willing to dedicate and your expectations (paper, abstract and presentation at a scientific meeting) up front. Don't worry about having a project designed on your own. Most faculty will not expect this and will have serveral projects in development.

The benefits of a research project for your residency application are the following. (1) You may be able to get a publication. Try to write-up the results of the study yourself so that you are listed first on the manuscript rather than being tacked on to the end of a list of authors. Your manuscript may not be completed by the time to include it on ERAS, but you can always give an updated CV to the programs at the time of interview. (2) You may be able to present a a major scientific meeting. Know when the major meetings are in your field and their deadlines for abstract submission. Plan to submit abstract to these meetings. Many meeting publish their abstracts in major journals, so this is another way to get a publication. You don't have to have all of the data ready to write an abstract, and meetings are a great place to meet faculty and residents from other institutions. (3) After you have a project design, look for possible research grants to apply to. Many societies (e.g. American Diabetes Association, American Gastroenterological Association) offer short-term research grants for a year or less of research. These awards can be listed on your ERAS CV, but apply early as many of the deadlines are in spring. (4) You will form a close working relationship with your research mentor. They can write a letter for your application the next year. It is an added bonus if you have previsously worked with them clinically so that they can reflect both in your letter. Plus, they may be able to go up to bat for you when applying the next year.

Congrats and good luck.

just curious, how do you pay the bills if you do a research year? Do you stay enrolled in med school and get more loans? flipflops- congrats!

I was wondering this too. I am thinking of taking a year off after graduation to have a kid. Or, between third and fourth year. How do I keep paying the bills if I am not in school? It seems alot of research types want you to work for free, pretty much.

Congratulations of being pregnant, flipflops! It sounds great ...

Excellent post, AlloImmune.
To the OP, This is a hot topic. There are very few things that will elicit more groans and moan than ," Jane Doe, PGY-1,2, 3 etc is pregnant" The views of those like me455555 are not uncommon. My personal favorite from male colleagues," I wish I could get 6 weeks of Vacation like maternity leave." Maternity leave does not equal vacation. So be prepared.

There is no good time to get pregnant for female physicians. Can't do it as MS1 or MS2 because you have to study hard, get good Step 1 to get the dream residency. Can't do it as MS3 or MS4 because its hard to get time off from rotations, have to keep up with everyone else. Can't do it during residency because you are too busy on call, it will affect other people. Can't do it first few years of practice because my partners won't like it, have to start paying back those loans. So now you have put it off at least 10 years!!

Be mindful of your collegues, any good person does. But final decision is for the parents. If you guys are ready, then go for it. I was pregnant as an intern, even considered abortion (The storyline with Yang on Grey's Anatomy hit me hard) but life interrupts what we think we want. And it gives us wonderful little packages!

Sorry for the long post!

I forgot to say, who would pay for it: Your husband of course. As long as someone has insurance, you will be ok. Your friends and family will throw you a great baby shower. You might not have the baby couture(sp?) but if it is what you and your husband want then you can sacrifice and make it work.

I have heard many different opinions on this matter, of course. Let's say that a student takes a year off to be with her child (which is awesome for both mom and child), but then, let's say she wants to do a four-year residency, and really wants her kids to be close in age, it is then inevitable that she will end up having a child during residency.
I have had attendings that tell me that having a child as a resident is easier than having a child as an attending. As an attending, if you are in private practice, you essentially give away your livelihood if you take any significant time off. If you are an associate for a group, then you are taking a big risk about progression to partnership...etc. At least, as a resident, ACGME sees to it that you are treated just like other residents.
I know a friend who had a child when she was a chief for IM, so she had minimal call/heinous schedule. Now, she is planning on having another baby towards the end of her fellowship, which by the end is usually more research oriented and flexible.
I have known colleagues that take just four weeks after delivery...which is really stressful, as physiologic fusiness really peaks at six weeks...
There is 'one' way to have children while in training. You just have to be sure that you have a very supportive spouse, lots of help, and that life will no longer be in your control.

wrong post

orientedtoself said:

just curious, how do you pay the bills if you do a research year? Do you stay enrolled in med school and get more loans? flipflops- congrats!

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In my experience, you have to be enrolled for a certain number of hours in medical school to be eligable for loans. The exact number will likely be institution dependent, and I would discuss this option with your finacial aid officer.

If your school allows you to delay graduation, you might be able to take a "zero credit hour" option. I took a research year between my 2nd and 3rd year of med school. My institution allowed me to enroll for zero credit hours, where I basically retain my in-school loan deferment status and medical insurance without having to pay tuition. I don't know if this is available everywhere, or if this is an option at the end of medical school.

If you are not able to delay graduation, you will have to be covered by some sort of medical insurance. Also, remember that you will only get a 6 month grace period before needing to start loan repayment (sometimes you may be eligable for finacial hardship deferment).

If you are doing research, some PI's may have funds to pay you. Others will expect you to volunteer your time. Remember to look for grants from your medical school or from medical societies. Many of these pay at least a few thousand dollars if they accept your proposal. You usually get to keep this money for yourself.

Regardless of what you decide, I think that a supportive partner is necessary for us, as professional women, to be successful in our career while having a family. As mentioned in other posts, there really is no perfect time to have a baby, but if you want something bad enough, you have to find a way to make it work for yourself. If you do take a year off, you may be a little strapped for cash (although Target has some really cute baby clothes), but it might be the only time in your career that you are able to dedicate this amount of time to your family (and you won't have to pay for daycare).

...sorry...for some reason I keep writing these book-length replys...

You should almost definitely qualify for a hardship deferment on all Federal Loans, even if you aren't officially enrolled in any school.. I can tell you from experience (atleast that of my wife) that you really won't want to run back to an 80 hour work week a month after your new baby is born. Home call is q1 with an infant. You also won't risk being looked down on by your program, which is a real risk if you leave them in the lurch by matching a spot and then not starting with the other interns. Also, this is even harder as a new intern, because you would be gone for any orientations, certification courses, etc...

You can defer federal loans for up to three years for financial hardship. Apply for this to start after your six month grace period is up. They go by your income (which will be zero), and they do not count your husband's at all. Reapply every year.

You can apply for a forbearance on any private loans. I get a financial/special situation forbearance on my Citibank private loans. I have to reapply every six months. They do use my husband's financial information.

There are also ways to delay payments because you are pregnant or have a newborn. It said this specifically for my Citibank loans.

me454555 said:

I just hate this approach. When your signed to a program they expect you to work and take call. Its not just for yourself but for the other interns who will have to work harder and pick up the slack to make up for you. You should really be honest about it w/your program and even consider taking a year off. Having a kid during your intern year is really not the smartest idea. If this is your first kid then you prolly don't realize how physically and emotionally demanding it will be to take care of. Add the that the stresses that come w/intern year and its just not a good combination. Why so many people think that med school is the greatest time to get pregnant is beyond me.

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When I was an intern, on two different occasions I was on the same internal medicine team where the other intern was pregnant and delivered. Those months sucked! Of course, it sucked for them too. But there really isn't any other good option for women in medicine. It's not like pgy-2 year has less responsiblity or time commitment involved. The only other option is to wait until they're pushing the upper age limits for having children . . . not a good idea!

It is going to be a difficult road for you whatever the circumstances, but it will be nearly impossible without someone else who can help share the load. It sounds like the father is not going to be the person that will care for the child and go pick it up from daycare when it has a fever. Do you have someone in your life who can take that role? Maybe your parents, siblings, other? If so, the decision to take a year off depends on the sort of person you are, how comfortable you would feel being away from the baby for long periods, and how much rest you think you would need after something as demanding as pregnancy and childbirth. The selfish part of me says take a year off so the program won't have to work around your leave, but the practical part of me thinks it would suck to lose all the money you have put in to applying. Maybe you could compomise and rank programs with later start dates higher than early start dates. It is your decision though, since the law supports your right to take maternity leave.

If you don't have anyone who can help out, then you need to decide what your priorities are. If motherhood is what you want, and you are not independently wealthy, a year off might not even be enough. I don't know what specialty you are planning on, but certain specialties and certain programs are not going to work well. The big problem is going to be getting someone to care for the child during those times you absolutely can't get away. Smaller programs, and less flexible specialties (surgery springs to mind) are not going to be able to easily cover your absence at the last minute. If you aren't ready for this there are other options. Only you can decide whether abortion or adoption is a route you want to go.

I wish you the best of luck in figuring out a solution that is right for you.

flipflopsnsnow said:

how would any of your opinions change if you also knew the information that:
I am not married
Not in a relationship
the father is someone i dated a year ago who will help financially and "play with the kid" but actually is pushing abortion.

any new thoughts about a prego single mother intern?

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My opinion doesn't change. I still say don't tell until after you match, and if you decide to take a year off (which was wonderful for me), you can still defer loan payments.

You'll need help though. I'm married, and you'd think that two adults could take care of one baby without much help. Most of my girlfriends are single moms, and I often thought of them when my husband and I were just at our wits end with the stress and exhaustion. I wondered how on earth they did it on their own. I still don't know how, but they obviously did and their children are wonderful and better behaved than many of my married friends' kids.

If you could live near any friends or family, or even move in with one for the first couple of months, I think it would help you so much. With a newborn, everything you took for granted before is gone, just like that. You can't eat when you're hungry, pee when you need to, answer the phone, the door, really, you can't do anything you want to do. It's like you have to start all over and develop a trick for getting the simplest things done, all the while learning to do something completely foreign. I remember thinking on my kid's third day home, "Who on earth thought it would be a good idea to give me a baby? Oh yeah, I did " If you get sick, who takes you to the ER? Who watches your kid? I get kidney stones alot, and had one after my kid was born. Here I am trying to nurse while having crazy renal colic, waiting for my husband to come home from work to take me to the hospital, knowing there is nobody else I can call and nobody to watch our kid. It sucked! In fact, we decided to move back near family partially because we had absolutely nobody and we were going out of our minds. We were completely blindsided by how difficult it was to take care of our baby.

This doesn't mean it'll be that way for you, but I know that I didn't hear any stories like that when I was pregnant. It was all "This is the best thing you'll do" (which is true), "You'll never regret it" (also true), and other glowing memos of the happy side. Nobody tells you that you might end up sitting on the toilet with your newborn in a sling because your cat has been stalking him when you leave him alone. Nobody says that "call is q1 with a newborn" (I loved that, by the way).

I think that if you want to do it, you can and will. But be realistic and don't get caught up in your own bravado and overestimate your capabilities. Like I said, a newborn can drive a normal couple to the brink, and that's a ratio of 2 so-called adults to 1 infant.

Best of luck to you though!

Regardless of the situation, pregnancy is a very stressful time. Even the most planned pregnancy comes with ambivalence and all kinds of emotional shifts. I let all this residency crap stress me out, and my baby ended up IUGR. Don't be like me! Baby first! Oh, do I have stories.....

I do have a husband, but like many husbands, he worked long hours and was not much help at all. (Quite honestly, MOST men are not. And they tend to be even more scared/ambivalent about babies than we are.) My mother was helpful esp with call nights. Getting 90 hours of (quality) childcare may be tough- but it can be done for a price.

I still ended up taking time off, partially due to the fact that I had a horrible experience with my program and some residents. You too will learn to love your baby more than your stupid residency program. For me it took my female upper level in the ED not letting me pump for my 6 week old... for 12 hours. ouch!

If you think this through, and plan wisely, you can do it- whether this year or next. I have known 3 totally single mothers who did residency. All had toddlers and up, which again, I think is easier. Breastfeeding a newborn q2 hours day in-day out is physically more draining compared to taking, say, overnight ICU call.

Choose your program wisely. Can you do a "lifestyle" residency? Do they have a day care that is open long hours? Path, PM&R(w/transitional), optho are the mommy-friendly programs my friends have found. It really depends on the particular program, though. And personally, I think intern year is MUCH harder to do this, because the demands are higher. free to PM me.

Hi,

I had a baby between my third and fourth year of medical school, and
took a year off after he was born. I would say that those first 5-6 months
were amongst the hardest of my life, especially with regards to having a
breastfeeding relationship, etc. I cannot imagine doing an internship year
during this time period and am so grateful for the time I had with my son.

I have friends who took a year off after graduating to spend with their baby
and they all got their first choice for residencies. I strongly reccommend putting off applying for another year, it will likely have little effect on your future plans, (although having a child may influence your choice of specialty, it definitely did for me)

Good luck with your decision.

It somewhat makes a difference. Only to stress that you will need support with a newborn. It truly is "q 1" as another poster stated. When you get home after 36 hours on call, you will need a couple of hours sleep before trying to take care of a baby. You will also need someone to pick up the baby from day care when you are on call or if your baby gets sick. Its not impossible but you will need tons of help. Even with my husband, sisters and mother, I felt overwhelmed.

If you decide to take a year off, is it possible for you to move in with parents to help with some expenses? I agree with looking into research positions. Whatever happens, make sure it is YOUR decision. Don't let people tell you what you can and cannot do, only you know. Don't let someone talk you into an abortion that you don't want. These should be your decisions.

Hi there--

Several folks have mentioned "family-friendly" specialties; have you also considered a part-time residency? While I haven't seen any part-time options for, say, general surgery, there seem to be a few Family Medicine programs that have the option. On the plus side, you'd be employed, have insurance and would be making "forward progress" in medicine. On the minus side, it would obviously take a bit longer to finish the program.

Just wanted to throw that out there.

Good luck to you as you make your decisions.
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FYI, there is a thread on the Family Med board about this.
The advanced search function on FREIDA also allows a search for programs that offer part-time or shared positions.

Mirror Form said:

When I was an intern, on two different occasions I was on the same internal medicine team where the other intern was pregnant and delivered. Those months sucked! Of course, it sucked for them too. But there really isn't any other good option for women in medicine. It's not like pgy-2 year has less responsiblity or time commitment involved. The only other option is to wait until they're pushing the upper age limits for having children . . . not a good idea!

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Upper age limits? If you take 2 years off between medical school and college, then do a 3 year residency you will be ~31 when you decide to have kids. This is by no means the upper age limits of having a child.

I guess my overall point is that having a kid is a big responsibility and one that should be planned accordingly. This is something that should be thought out before one decides to undertake the long road of becomming a Dr. I don't mean setting exact dates for having kids or anything that specific, more of a general idea or plan. If you know that you'd like to start having kids in your 20's maybe medical school isn't for you. Maybe you need to take some time off, get a less stressful job, start your family, and decide to pursue a career in medicine at a later time. There are plenty of people in my class who have 4 and 5 y/o kids who are doing just fine. The above poster was right on when she/he said that there really isn't a good time to have a kid in medical school. This is something that people should think about before deciding to go, not after.

I am a new intern this year and I had my first baby the second week of June, a few days before my orientation. I waited until after the match to tell my program and I felt that they were very supportive (Internal Med). It isn't practical to tell every single program that you are expecting during interviews and then you would have to try to figure out how this would affect how they would rank you. I wasn't showing much when I interviewed and completed all my interviews by the end of December anyway. My program actually encouraged me to take off as much time as I needed. I ended up taking off 6 weeks, which put me behind one month. I also asked for easier months in the beginning and the more strenuous months later in the spring when my baby is older and they more than accomodated me. I must say that it would be very difficult to do this without a support system. My husband and I take turns every other night with getting up to feed the baby, and we are forking out $1200 a month in childcare because we both work long hours.
Feel free to pm me if you want since my situation is very similar to what you are going through.