Thank you gift for grad student hosts?

I gave Starbucks gift cards with a little note thanking them for hosting.

When I interviewed I left thank you cards but no gifts. I have now hosted students for two years and I believe both times I got a call or an email thanking me and they said nice things to my advisor. That was more than enough for me, personally. If you choose to do something I would make it small (certainly under $25, more like $10) but I at least don't expect anything. If you leave a nice note or email and let me know where you end up that is more than enough for me. I have kept in touch with both people who I have housed (one is currently in the program, the other is in a different program) and it has worked out really nicely. I like hearing how they are doing and having connections to other programs should I need something.

We recently talked about this at work. My boss recommended a card only. Gifts can seem almost awkward/coercive. Furthermore, you probably won't know ahead of time what kind of gift your host would want. (Coffee giftcards might not be good for those who don't like coffee, candy is not good for dieters/people w/allergies, etc.) Furthermore, if you don't know the area well, your gift card might not be convenient for that person. (i.e. the area does not have any Caribou Coffees, etc.).

i would suggest bribing them with a large cash offer in exchange for them putting in nothing but good words with your POI

for the 2 interviews i have had so far i have brought something small (e.g., a bag of candy). i then follow up with an email. i don't think it seems coercive, especially since the students i have stayed with haven't been students of my POI.

I left thank you notes last year, but found cute candy heart shaped suckers for this year. Seeing as I know I will be staying with females, I feel that this is appropriate. Unless they are on diets; in that case, I'm screwed.

PhDClinical said:

for the 2 interviews i have had so far i have brought something small (e.g., a bag of candy). i then follow up with an email. i don't think it seems coercive, especially since the students i have stayed with haven't been students of my POI.

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ditto

I left a thank you card, no gift. Small gifts are fine but not necessary. I wouldn't get any gift more than $5... if I received a 'real' gift from someone I hosted I would personally feel kind of awkward receiving it and wonder if they are making the extra effort b/c they are really appreciative of my hosting or they are hoping I will put in a good word for them, but that's just me. I think a card/e-mail is sufficient enough to demonstrate your appreciation, and it's not over-the-top.

Oops... I bought a pair of wooden serving utensils for $18 (I was thinking cheap, but useful as my host just got engaged). Is this horribly faux pas???

MinxC said:

Oops... I bought a pair of wooden serving utensils for $18 (I was thinking cheap, but useful as my host just got engaged). Is this horribly faux pas???

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In my opinion, that's a little much. Unless you already kinda know them.

MinxC said:

Oops... I bought a pair of wooden serving utensils for $18 (I was thinking cheap, but useful as my host just got engaged). Is this horribly faux pas???

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How many people really know the cost of serving utensils? I think you'll be okay, if you already gave your host the gift. I don't think it was too incredibly over the top. I don't think you've entered faux pas territory. But, if you have any future interviews, maybe spend less on the gift. : )

I plan on leaving a note with something small (a candle or some candy) just as a nice gesture...

Definitely at least a thank you email/card! Gifts aren't necessary (but also aren't bad either). I gave gifts to hosts (small box of chocolates from a local place) who hosted me for 2+ nights or went above and beyond somehow, such as a late night airport pickup.

I agree that gifts are unnecessary, but some kind of gratitude (email, card, etc) is appreciated. If you and your host go to dinner or lunch or something, offer to pay for their share. I've been hosting for years now and although I certainly don't expect anything from an applicant, it is noted when an applicant makes no effort whatsoever. And mentions of those efforts (or lack thereof) do make it back to the POIs, at least in my program.

I would certainly give a small gift (<$20). The people you are staying with likely have limited funds. It's good manners to offer some token of gratitude in exchange for their time and expenditures. I would at least offer.

As an applicant to a PhD or other program, you're striving to present yourself as a mature adult, capable of undergoing a rigorous professional training program with both intellectual and interpersonal adroitness. It's a matter of courtesy in this society for a guest to arrive at the door of their host bearing some reasonable token of their appreciation. The host, after all, is neither family nor friend, and is not being compensated in any way by the department for their kindness. In my opinion, to arrive empty handed reads as,"college kid," while a small but thoughtful gift shows you are a considerate person who's a little more grown up.

That having been said, almost anything will do for a gift; it's the thought that counts! Starbucks cards, candles, candies, etc. are all wonderful ideas. And the impact can resonate. I gave gifts (snacks) upon arrival to my first interview and by the next day was receiving feedback on my politeness from multiple other students. It helped take the edge off of interview day for me, and it'll never seem coercive because I'm fairly sure that they make certain you're not paired with a student of your POI. It's just classy. Okay, getting down off the soap box now...

Although there are potential benefits to hosting OR staying with a current student during interviews...is anyone leery of doing so given that neither party knows the other...is it too paranoid to be concerned with one's life and safety in this day and age?

This will be my 4th year housing applicants. I've never gotten anything but a thank you, and I would prefer it to stay that way. I would feel akward if I were to get a gift card or worse yet cash.

i'm about to enjoy some chocolate that an applicant gave me. yum. thanks, applicant who i know goes on sdn, and good luck at the rest of your interviews! i will recommend admission for you based on this chocolate. just kidding. i don't get a say in admissions. and i would recommend you for admissions if someone asked my opinion, but i wouldn't use the chocolate as my reason why

in all seriousness, a thank you note and/or something small like chocolate is a kind gesture but an actual gift is not necessary.

I'm glad the graduate student posted and said he didn't want anything and hadn't gotten anything. I have been on several interviews and haven't gotten anything but have sent follow up emails and thanked them for their time.
To the person who is leary of staying with someone: Last year I interviewed at one school and stayed with a graduate student. He lived with a roommate. While desperately trying to sleep the night before the interview his roommate and a girl came stumbling into the apartment knocking over things and waking me up. I was sleeping on a pull out couch and the roommate's room was located directly behind the wall i was up against. They began making passionate love and I lost about 2 hours of sleep. While you may see this as a reason not to stay at someone's house, I do feel it has given me a story that will be funny for a long time and I have not experienced anything like this at any other house i've stayed.

I think a token shows maturity and appreciation. I left a card and a ($12) bottle of wine from my home country.

This person who hosted you might have:
-cleaned their apt before you showed up, when they're already as busy as all hell
-went grocery shopping before you showed up
-put up with your stressed self for 2 days
-sacrificed personal space for 2 days
-cleaned after you left
-might have even provided you with rides.

I don't think that leaving a small gift is coercive. In my books, it's common sense. I think that salad forks, giftcards (= cash) or whatever, even if the same value, would be weird.

In my books, a bottle of wine is a standard gift when someone has you into their home, for either dinner or an overnight stay.

I am curious about this topic and the last post on this subject was in 2010. Anyone who has interviewed in the last few years or hosted in the last few years have strong opinions about standards for gift giving for hosts? I am actually staying with a student of the POI. I'll probably leave a note and some chocolate and I personally have a hard time seeing this as coercive, even if it is the POI's student.

Ganzheit said:

Is there an appropriate thank you gift for the students housing applicants for interviews? I feel like there's a fine line between polite and thoughtful and overly effusive and perhaps even weird. Any thoughts?

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My feeling is that as long as you write a thank you email you are good. I have gotten small food related gifts from interviewees but it's certainly not expected.

Last time I hosted a student she left me a very nice thank you card and the most delicious salted caramels (from her home town) I have ever had. Go with a small food token. If they don't like it for some reason, they can always share with others.

Why overthink this?

Be thoughtful and write a kind card or email.

If you want to bring something small, like a gift card for a coffee, then do it. If they don't drink coffee, I suspect they will appreciate the thought and pass it along to their spouse/colleague/random homeless person.